Breast/sex questions : warning: TMI
I am most likely going to be getting a double radical this summer with reconstruction from a tummy tuck. My first question is: will I feel anything in my breasts afterwards? Specifically, will my nipples feel like nipples or just skin? I understand that the nipples are only tatoos, is that correct? Can I have any sexual feeling/enjoyment from my breasts?
Second question: is the Taxol and other chemo by sending me into menopause (I:m 44) completely kill my sex drive? How about Tamoxafin? (still can't spell this)
Also, frankly, since my diagnosis our sex life has slowed way down - stress mostly plus the fact that I have breast cancer in one breast and a port on the other side - kind of awkward! Third question: have others had this experience? (I;m guesssing yes!) It's like my husband is almost afraid to touch me, like I might break or something; he's been extremely loving and caring and sweet but treating me as very fragile.
Main question, I guess, is does the sex come back eventually? I'm sure everyone's experience is different but I'd love to have some reassurance that there is hope for continued sex life despite chemo, surgery, reconstruction, and hormone therapy! It's quite daunting and I would love to hear from others who have been through this.
Thanks!
Laura
Comments
-
Good questions. Sorry I am
Good questions. Sorry I am no help tho..... interested in seeing some responses. I'm also 44 but I'm single and have been since my dx date so there is no sex for me anyway and who wants a bald chick with a chest and head port who sleeps too much during the day and never at night who cant drink cant taste good food cant work three kids, 2 granddaughters and one more on the way..... hey I'm a package make a great date LOL ....... o well I have my kids Ü0 -
I am sure many have wanted to ask same question!!!
You are very lucky to have caring husband...!
Sorry you are going through all of this!0 -
I can't answer all your
I can't answer all your questions...but yes sex life slowed way down after dx. Part of it is that I had chemo first and felt awful most of the time. The few times we've had sex, I initiated it. And my husband has been amazing too...definitely my rock.
I just had bilateral two weeks ago, not eligible for reconstruction for at least a year. My understanding is that you will not have feeling in your nipples (assuming you have reconstruction). But that is a question you should ask your surgeon, as each of us are different.
I hope this helps.
Linda0 -
Hi dbhadra
I have recently
Hi dbhadra
I have recently had a right breast masectomy, lymph nodes removed and immediate reconstruction with using fat from tummy into one breast. I had the reconstructed breast for 2 weeks. But the skin graft for the nipple did not take, and so had to go back for a complete masectomy, I will have to wait for herceptin/chemo/radiation to be finished.
Firstly, I felt nothing in the nipple area. Sorry for the graphics, but my plastic surgoen could actually stick a thick needle inside and I felt nothing. this does not mean that eventaully I would have, but he did say it it would.
Also, if you are having your breast enlarged at the same time, I would ask the DR for a silicone implant to test out what it is going to feel like.I had mine enlarged and I was so shocked at the weight and streching. Im very skinny chested..so was very different to the norm.
My husband is very amorous towards me. Very loving, gentle and affirming. I had my hair cut after all the hospitalization, a great hair treatment and started dressing nicely again.
I think you need to speak to him and have an honest conversation. I am quite sure he still wants to be intimate, but does not know how to handle it. There are other ways of pleasing each other ( as we know..hee hee) and different sex positions. But mostly, it is the sharing/chatting that deepens our relationships and he may just need to know that you need him in that way.
I only start my chemo ect next week...so i will let you know if it is any different. I am sure some days will be...but I always think to myself...what is a year of my life...when I can regain for longer!!!
ps...if we understand how many times a man thinks about sex....you are guarenteed you are not going to be a nun for the rest of your life:):))
lol0 -
Well, here is my experiencecathg said:Hi dbhadra
I have recently
Hi dbhadra
I have recently had a right breast masectomy, lymph nodes removed and immediate reconstruction with using fat from tummy into one breast. I had the reconstructed breast for 2 weeks. But the skin graft for the nipple did not take, and so had to go back for a complete masectomy, I will have to wait for herceptin/chemo/radiation to be finished.
Firstly, I felt nothing in the nipple area. Sorry for the graphics, but my plastic surgoen could actually stick a thick needle inside and I felt nothing. this does not mean that eventaully I would have, but he did say it it would.
Also, if you are having your breast enlarged at the same time, I would ask the DR for a silicone implant to test out what it is going to feel like.I had mine enlarged and I was so shocked at the weight and streching. Im very skinny chested..so was very different to the norm.
My husband is very amorous towards me. Very loving, gentle and affirming. I had my hair cut after all the hospitalization, a great hair treatment and started dressing nicely again.
I think you need to speak to him and have an honest conversation. I am quite sure he still wants to be intimate, but does not know how to handle it. There are other ways of pleasing each other ( as we know..hee hee) and different sex positions. But mostly, it is the sharing/chatting that deepens our relationships and he may just need to know that you need him in that way.
I only start my chemo ect next week...so i will let you know if it is any different. I am sure some days will be...but I always think to myself...what is a year of my life...when I can regain for longer!!!
ps...if we understand how many times a man thinks about sex....you are guarenteed you are not going to be a nun for the rest of your life:):))
lol
Well, here is my experience with the nips. I had a mastectomy on the right breast and a
breast reduction on the left breast. Skin from the left breast was used to make a nipple for the right breast. While the nipple from the left breast(reduction) is starting to regain some sensitivity....it's been about 8 months....the right one made from the skin of the left really is just decorative. I do have feeling in the skin, I mean it hurts to be poked with a needle, but I don't think it will ever be like a normal breast as far as sensitivity.0 -
feelings in the breast
Dear dbhadra - What kind of reconstruction are you going to have? Are you going to have nipple-sparing? I had TE' with implants without nipple sparing and for me, there is no feeling. But I think the ladies who use their own fat for breasts, I think there is more feeling with that procedure. There are docs who are trying to transfer nerves to keep some of the feeling in the breast, but it is a relatively new procedure. The ladies with the flap surgeries can correct me here, but I think mostly the errogenous zone in the breast is gone with reconstructive surgery. If you get to keep your nipple, there is some feeling there but it is not the same. If you have a reconstructed nipple there is little if any feeling in it. It is wise that you are asking these questions now because some women are devasted when they go through the process and don't have the feeling in the breast that they once had. Their doctors never told them. Again, your experience may be different because there is more feeling with your own fat, but it will never be the same as your real breasts.
Much Love to you,
dh0 -
You're not alone
Although I ended up having a lumpectomy, so I can't give you specific experiences on the reconstruction issue, I can empathize with your issues regarding your husband's behavior.
My hubby was also very supportive, but has not been as eager(?)as he used to be. My surgery was over a year ago, but the physical changes due to the chemo have made sex more of a challenge for me to enjoy without pain. As others have said, please keep communicating with your hubby. Most likely he is afraid he will hurt you, so you may need to initiate things more for a while.
When I was considering a mastectomy I asked my surgeon about the sensation, and he said that I would lose most of the sensation in my breast if I went that route. That was one of the main reasons I decided to do the lumpectomy and radiation instead. I also had asked about the nipple-sparing procedure, but he said he would not recommend that because it is still pretty new and doesn't always work. Plus, you would still have to retain some of your milk duct tissue to keep the nipple, which might increase your chances of recurrence.
Welcome to our little group of women (and some men) who all wish there was not a reason to be here!0 -
I hadcindycflynn said:You're not alone
Although I ended up having a lumpectomy, so I can't give you specific experiences on the reconstruction issue, I can empathize with your issues regarding your husband's behavior.
My hubby was also very supportive, but has not been as eager(?)as he used to be. My surgery was over a year ago, but the physical changes due to the chemo have made sex more of a challenge for me to enjoy without pain. As others have said, please keep communicating with your hubby. Most likely he is afraid he will hurt you, so you may need to initiate things more for a while.
When I was considering a mastectomy I asked my surgeon about the sensation, and he said that I would lose most of the sensation in my breast if I went that route. That was one of the main reasons I decided to do the lumpectomy and radiation instead. I also had asked about the nipple-sparing procedure, but he said he would not recommend that because it is still pretty new and doesn't always work. Plus, you would still have to retain some of your milk duct tissue to keep the nipple, which might increase your chances of recurrence.
Welcome to our little group of women (and some men) who all wish there was not a reason to be here!
I had a double mastectomy with reconstruction with implants and nipple reconstruction from tissue from my breast--I have no nipple sensation--I do not get nipple hard-ons---sorry for the TMI. My surgeon said in time feeling to the breast will come back but will not be the same as before because nerves were cut. If you have nipple sparing then that might be different so I can't say on that matter.
Margo0 -
When I asked . . .
about how the surgery would affect the nerves in my breasts, my surgeon told me that women generally do not regain much sensitivity. Ack. I chose a lumpectomy--but if the difference in the chance of recurrence for lumpectomy and mastectomy had been greater, I would have chosen the mastectomy even though I would have hated losing that part of my sexual feelings/sexuality.
Chemo can be really hard on one's sex drive. Not feeling good, not having energy--those really bring down the sex drive. But YES, the sex drive does come back, especially if you encourage it to come back. I think it does help a lot to communicate--somehow--to your husband that you're interested and don't want to be treated as if you're too fragile to make love, whether that's by initiating lovemaking or by simply mentioning that you are really missing making love and would like to try.
DO get some lubricant, especially a thick one. Ask your husband to go slowly during penetration, because that may be the most difficult part. However, I found that as our lovemaking increased in frequency again, the pain decreased. It seems to me that if we don't make love for a couple of weeks, it hurts *more* than if we make love every week--it's almost like my body relearns how to do it better when we make love more often.
Most important--be patient with yourself as well as your husband. You are both trying to reteach your body how to do something after significant physiological changes have impacted that very thing, and you have both been through some emotional trauma during your treatment. Love each other and keep in mind that it's OK to just engage in foreplay one night; let it go if it doesn't work to go all the way at first.
Hang in there, Laura!
Sandy0 -
thanks so much and more TMI!LadyParvati said:When I asked . . .
about how the surgery would affect the nerves in my breasts, my surgeon told me that women generally do not regain much sensitivity. Ack. I chose a lumpectomy--but if the difference in the chance of recurrence for lumpectomy and mastectomy had been greater, I would have chosen the mastectomy even though I would have hated losing that part of my sexual feelings/sexuality.
Chemo can be really hard on one's sex drive. Not feeling good, not having energy--those really bring down the sex drive. But YES, the sex drive does come back, especially if you encourage it to come back. I think it does help a lot to communicate--somehow--to your husband that you're interested and don't want to be treated as if you're too fragile to make love, whether that's by initiating lovemaking or by simply mentioning that you are really missing making love and would like to try.
DO get some lubricant, especially a thick one. Ask your husband to go slowly during penetration, because that may be the most difficult part. However, I found that as our lovemaking increased in frequency again, the pain decreased. It seems to me that if we don't make love for a couple of weeks, it hurts *more* than if we make love every week--it's almost like my body relearns how to do it better when we make love more often.
Most important--be patient with yourself as well as your husband. You are both trying to reteach your body how to do something after significant physiological changes have impacted that very thing, and you have both been through some emotional trauma during your treatment. Love each other and keep in mind that it's OK to just engage in foreplay one night; let it go if it doesn't work to go all the way at first.
Hang in there, Laura!
Sandy
Thanks SO MUCH ladies for all your honest sharing.
My cancer is in my right breast, nothing in left. Immediately after diagnosis I was completely convinced that I would get a double (or as I put it "chop them both off"!!!) since I just wanted the whole breast cancer thing to go away. Now I am having second thoughts about taking off the left breast. My oncologist said that cutting off the left breast does NOT decrease the chances of getting a secondary cancer elsewhere in my body - of course it does decrease the chances of a new primary cancer in the left breast (since there would BE no left breast there to get cancer in).
I went to get tested for the BRCA gene and have no mutations so that's good - otherwise the double would have been for sure. HOWEVER I do have a fairly high risk due to family history so the genetic counselor says that a double is certainly an option to reduce risk. I would kick myself so hard if I did NOT take off the left breast and then got a new primary cancer there. BUT I I wouldn;t get a new primary cancer there then I would have taken off the breast for nothing. I need to do more research on it. I think the odds are much greater of a secondary cancer than a new primary but of course you never know, which is the whole problem, right!?
I mean, I can live without breasts if I have to - but do I have to? Again TMI but my breasts are a fairly significant part of our sex life. My husband is all for a double as he also just wants the cancer to go away and me to be around (again, very sweet!)
And speaking of initiating (warning - much more TMI)- we did have sex yesterday after more than a month - last time was Christmas - in addition to the breast cancer my husband had been diagnosed with low testoterone a few months earlier and had been putting on a gel everyday to restore his levels. I totally intiated the sex to the point of handing him a Levitra and a glass of water and basically saying let's get on with it!!! Too awkward at first but we both felt much better afterwards. Thank God for modern medicine is what I say!
Sorry again for the TMI but just so glad I can share here honestly - now that the intial shock is over I'm feeling much more grief, loss about my breasts potentially being gone than I did at first.
Isn't cancer fun???????
Laura0 -
Similardbhadra said:thanks so much and more TMI!
Thanks SO MUCH ladies for all your honest sharing.
My cancer is in my right breast, nothing in left. Immediately after diagnosis I was completely convinced that I would get a double (or as I put it "chop them both off"!!!) since I just wanted the whole breast cancer thing to go away. Now I am having second thoughts about taking off the left breast. My oncologist said that cutting off the left breast does NOT decrease the chances of getting a secondary cancer elsewhere in my body - of course it does decrease the chances of a new primary cancer in the left breast (since there would BE no left breast there to get cancer in).
I went to get tested for the BRCA gene and have no mutations so that's good - otherwise the double would have been for sure. HOWEVER I do have a fairly high risk due to family history so the genetic counselor says that a double is certainly an option to reduce risk. I would kick myself so hard if I did NOT take off the left breast and then got a new primary cancer there. BUT I I wouldn;t get a new primary cancer there then I would have taken off the breast for nothing. I need to do more research on it. I think the odds are much greater of a secondary cancer than a new primary but of course you never know, which is the whole problem, right!?
I mean, I can live without breasts if I have to - but do I have to? Again TMI but my breasts are a fairly significant part of our sex life. My husband is all for a double as he also just wants the cancer to go away and me to be around (again, very sweet!)
And speaking of initiating (warning - much more TMI)- we did have sex yesterday after more than a month - last time was Christmas - in addition to the breast cancer my husband had been diagnosed with low testoterone a few months earlier and had been putting on a gel everyday to restore his levels. I totally intiated the sex to the point of handing him a Levitra and a glass of water and basically saying let's get on with it!!! Too awkward at first but we both felt much better afterwards. Thank God for modern medicine is what I say!
Sorry again for the TMI but just so glad I can share here honestly - now that the intial shock is over I'm feeling much more grief, loss about my breasts potentially being gone than I did at first.
Isn't cancer fun???????
Laura
Laura,
Your experiences sounds very similar to mine. I had a bilateral mastecomy in Mar. 10. I lost both nipples so I have no real feelings there. I haven't had the tatooing yet. I have some sensational on my lower breast. Sex??? What's that?? The chemo made me too tired to want it and the tamoxifen has killed it. My husband also has low testoerone and using the gel. My husband is a wonderful man who is totally understanding. When this journey first started neither of us wanted sex. Yes, use lubricant. Your experience may be totally different and this is mine. Do what you are comfortable with? I miss my breasts in the sexual sense but I can live without them as long as I'm alive.
Janie0 -
Similardbhadra said:thanks so much and more TMI!
Thanks SO MUCH ladies for all your honest sharing.
My cancer is in my right breast, nothing in left. Immediately after diagnosis I was completely convinced that I would get a double (or as I put it "chop them both off"!!!) since I just wanted the whole breast cancer thing to go away. Now I am having second thoughts about taking off the left breast. My oncologist said that cutting off the left breast does NOT decrease the chances of getting a secondary cancer elsewhere in my body - of course it does decrease the chances of a new primary cancer in the left breast (since there would BE no left breast there to get cancer in).
I went to get tested for the BRCA gene and have no mutations so that's good - otherwise the double would have been for sure. HOWEVER I do have a fairly high risk due to family history so the genetic counselor says that a double is certainly an option to reduce risk. I would kick myself so hard if I did NOT take off the left breast and then got a new primary cancer there. BUT I I wouldn;t get a new primary cancer there then I would have taken off the breast for nothing. I need to do more research on it. I think the odds are much greater of a secondary cancer than a new primary but of course you never know, which is the whole problem, right!?
I mean, I can live without breasts if I have to - but do I have to? Again TMI but my breasts are a fairly significant part of our sex life. My husband is all for a double as he also just wants the cancer to go away and me to be around (again, very sweet!)
And speaking of initiating (warning - much more TMI)- we did have sex yesterday after more than a month - last time was Christmas - in addition to the breast cancer my husband had been diagnosed with low testoterone a few months earlier and had been putting on a gel everyday to restore his levels. I totally intiated the sex to the point of handing him a Levitra and a glass of water and basically saying let's get on with it!!! Too awkward at first but we both felt much better afterwards. Thank God for modern medicine is what I say!
Sorry again for the TMI but just so glad I can share here honestly - now that the intial shock is over I'm feeling much more grief, loss about my breasts potentially being gone than I did at first.
Isn't cancer fun???????
Laura
Laura,
Your experiences sounds very similar to mine. I had a bilateral mastecomy in Mar. 10. I lost both nipples so I have no real feelings there. I haven't had the tatooing yet. I have some sensational on my lower breast. Sex??? What's that?? The chemo made me too tired to want it and the tamoxifen has killed it. My husband also has low testoerone and using the gel. My husband is a wonderful man who is totally understanding. When this journey first started neither of us wanted sex. Yes, use lubricant. Your experience may be totally different and this is mine. Do what you are comfortable with? I miss my breasts in the sexual sense but I can live without them as long as I'm alive.
Janie0 -
so gladdbhadra said:thanks so much and more TMI!
Thanks SO MUCH ladies for all your honest sharing.
My cancer is in my right breast, nothing in left. Immediately after diagnosis I was completely convinced that I would get a double (or as I put it "chop them both off"!!!) since I just wanted the whole breast cancer thing to go away. Now I am having second thoughts about taking off the left breast. My oncologist said that cutting off the left breast does NOT decrease the chances of getting a secondary cancer elsewhere in my body - of course it does decrease the chances of a new primary cancer in the left breast (since there would BE no left breast there to get cancer in).
I went to get tested for the BRCA gene and have no mutations so that's good - otherwise the double would have been for sure. HOWEVER I do have a fairly high risk due to family history so the genetic counselor says that a double is certainly an option to reduce risk. I would kick myself so hard if I did NOT take off the left breast and then got a new primary cancer there. BUT I I wouldn;t get a new primary cancer there then I would have taken off the breast for nothing. I need to do more research on it. I think the odds are much greater of a secondary cancer than a new primary but of course you never know, which is the whole problem, right!?
I mean, I can live without breasts if I have to - but do I have to? Again TMI but my breasts are a fairly significant part of our sex life. My husband is all for a double as he also just wants the cancer to go away and me to be around (again, very sweet!)
And speaking of initiating (warning - much more TMI)- we did have sex yesterday after more than a month - last time was Christmas - in addition to the breast cancer my husband had been diagnosed with low testoterone a few months earlier and had been putting on a gel everyday to restore his levels. I totally intiated the sex to the point of handing him a Levitra and a glass of water and basically saying let's get on with it!!! Too awkward at first but we both felt much better afterwards. Thank God for modern medicine is what I say!
Sorry again for the TMI but just so glad I can share here honestly - now that the intial shock is over I'm feeling much more grief, loss about my breasts potentially being gone than I did at first.
Isn't cancer fun???????
Laura
I am so glad someone brought this up,been to shame to ask the Dr. but was worried about sex and chemo OMG, well will not worry anymore I HAD MY LAST CHEMO TODAY THANK YOU GOD.
mollyz0 -
Some Good Replies for You
Dear Laura,
1. In answer to your first question, the answer is, NO, regarding the feeling with the nipples. It makes no difference if you keep your nipples or if they are constructed, The nerves that were attached to the nipples are now gone via the mastectomy. Nothing can ever again replace the feelings of your real nipple.
2. As far as your skin, that depends on your specific body. I have a lot of nerves on top of my skin, which surprised my oncology breast surgeon. So, I guess I am rare in that category.
3. Nipples are not tattoos. They are created from your breast skin. The tattoos are the areola, which would be the final stage of breast reconstruction.
4. There are many other parts of the body that can bring you sexual pleasure, other than your breasts. Have fun seeking them out.
5. I cannot answer any questions on chemo as I did not have chemo.
6. If you want to feel sexy after your mastectomy...before you have your mastectomy, check out this site: www.shoptoobeautiful.com - phone is 312.285.7661 Katie Stotler, breast cancer survivor. She created the most beautiful, sexy, comfortable CAMISOLE with soft, luxury fabric. That camisole is going to make you feel sexy while you are waiting for the completion of your breast reconstruction. Order the camisole before your surgery.
6. YES, there is hope for a continued sex life. However, while you are in chemo you may not be sexy because you may be too tired. Chemo for a time period appears to zap your energy and strength, but in time both will return to you.
Lots of Hugs,
Janelle0 -
Hi Laura!
Similar to you, at 45, my right breast was affected by cancer. Every treatment is different, for me, once I was diagnosed with a 5cm size tumor, I started the Chemo treatment quickly to shrink it. Once it shrunk down to nearly nothing (they couldn't even detect it), I had a mastectomy to remove the right breast. One that healed, I had radiation (before my reconstruction). And once THAT healed, I had surgery removing the unaffected breast (my choice) and had the DIEP procedure using abdominal fat & tissue for reconstruction.
Several months later, I had nipple reconstruction and then, tatoos. For me, since they removed all the nerves and some skin from the breasts, naturally, you won't have sensation. The nips are there to look pretty. As far as feeling and sensation in the actual breast, I noticed with me, the affected breast that had the tumor, lost some feeling so I have maybe 70% sensation. There are a few areas numb to the touch. And the unaffected breast is 100% good (except, as mentioned, no nipple sensation).
As one of our Sisters mentioned, You may not feel like having sex during Chemo as much because it saps your body of energy. But there is no reason to not have it if you feel up to it. I would imagine your hubby is just what you mentioned, fearful of hurting you. Maybe this would be a time to take the initiative in that area. Just a suggestion.
I've been on Tamoxifen for almost 5 years and it does for me, cause vaginal dryness, hot flashes, night sweats.
I really feel that once you get passed all this, things will go back to being normal.
I pray all goes well with you. Please keep us posted on how your treatment is going.
Hugs,
Sylvia0 -
I had a double and I'm still
I had a double and I'm still numb but it's only been since nov. I still have expanders in so by boobies are rock hard. Thanks for the "TMI" I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's going through this stuff. As for if it comes back (the sex), I have no idea! I suspect it takes a long time.0 -
honest answerJennifer1961 said:I had a double and I'm still
I had a double and I'm still numb but it's only been since nov. I still have expanders in so by boobies are rock hard. Thanks for the "TMI" I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's going through this stuff. As for if it comes back (the sex), I have no idea! I suspect it takes a long time.
from 46 years old at the time of diagnosis in 2008, I had DIEP Flap, 6 cycles of Chemo, Radiation, Tamoxifen, Zoladex, Arimidex:
No sensations in reconstructed breast, induced menopause after 2 round of Chemo, sex drive after Chemo has slowly returned back, my treatment plan is designed to keep menopause irreversible, vaginal dryness and a lot of fun! I have chosen live without nipples and am doing well.
Open communications with your partner are crucial for happy life after treatment. There are other than breast areas that can give sensation0 -
I had a lumpectomy withGabe N Abby Mom said:I can't answer all your
I can't answer all your questions...but yes sex life slowed way down after dx. Part of it is that I had chemo first and felt awful most of the time. The few times we've had sex, I initiated it. And my husband has been amazing too...definitely my rock.
I just had bilateral two weeks ago, not eligible for reconstruction for at least a year. My understanding is that you will not have feeling in your nipples (assuming you have reconstruction). But that is a question you should ask your surgeon, as each of us are different.
I hope this helps.
Linda
I had a lumpectomy with rads, so, our life didn't change much. I hope and pray that you feel better quickly. Just give yourself time.
Maybe, have a date night? That might make you feel better and your husband too.
Have an early Valentine's Day!
Good luck,
Debby0 -
I was dx in my left breast,
I was dx in my left breast, and a week later (thanks do a diligent Dr) was dx in my right breast. I had no option on my left since the tumor was so large, and it was recommended I have a bilateral. My breasts were very large and a huge part of my sexuality.
I decided the best approach for me was to refuse to let this define me and to get right back into the swing of things, romantically speaking. I’m blessed with an AMAZING man; and my sex life has not suffered at all. It is in fact, more incredible than I thought it could be, sans natural breasts and nipples.
I have no natural nipples, heck I don’t even have fake ones yet! Mine will be made from borrowed skin on my sides in about a month and will be purely cosmetic. The tattooing will be used to color the areola to make it look a little more real. I have some sensation in my breasts but not alot; however, its pleasantly surprising how much I don’t need it! Like I said, they used to be a large part of my interaction in the bedroom (trying to be gentle here) and yet, even having not much sensation has not really taken anything away. I believe it has in fact, made me even more in tune with the rest of my body
Making the choice to stay sexually active and get right back in the saddle was a small challenge after surgery as I felt so awkward about my "new" look: but I'm SO glad I did it!!! Some days I didn’t feel like it, but for us, keeping that connection alive even when I felt crappy, or tired, or depressed, has definitely proven to be a valuable healing tool.
Good luck to you whatever path you go down, we all have such different journeys; I hope yours is a smooth as possible:)0 -
It has often been said ( and
It has often been said ( and with good reason) that our largest sex organ is between our ears! It is how we feel and think about sex more than The Act itself. We now, also understandably feel differently about our bodies~ Victoria Secret and the "Angels" on the run way ads make me want to throw my TV out the window. But I digress!
My sweetie was never anything but attentive, as well as thoughtful and kind. I did not always feel the urge sexually, but I did feel the need to be close to him physically and emotionally. Being as you asked, I found that "spooning" was the best position~ it gave me a sense of self imposed modesty and yet still made "it" and cuddling a good thing. For the record, Reggie never made me feel anything but beautiful; once he leaned over and ever so gently kissed the lumpectomy scar. Being treated as fragile is not a bad thing; it shows honor, care and love. This world would be a better place if we all practiced the art of treating one another as prized, yet easisy broken gift.
Oh enough, I know! This is a difficult time for both partners... continue to be open, and be honest~ if there is anytime communication is needed, it is NOW!
Hugs,
Chen♥0
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