Truth serumn in Chemo?

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ratface
ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Do you find yourself more to the point about stuff. "Lets cut to the chase attitude". Compelled to just blurt out truths? My Italian wife has for decades been making this spagetti sauce that was, "OK" but I always thought, "jar" tasted better. Recently one day while making a grocery list I just blurted out that I thought "jar" sauce was just fine. Well you know what happened from there. Recipe direct from the Saints,given to her mother, brought over on the boat in great peril. And I think "Jar" is better? Funny now that we have been buying "Jar" I think she likes it and is relieved not to have to always have some on hand.

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  • JUDYV5
    JUDYV5 Member Posts: 392
    #2
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    Don't like sasuage pizza
    I have been married for over 21 years every Friday night we have pizza. I like thick pizza loaded with vegies. Husband likes thin sausage. I have eaten thin sasuage pizza pretty much once a week for over 21 years. I no longer eat sasuage pizza. He was very concerned at first. Why wasn't I eating ?? I was eating, but I am no longer going to eat something I really don't like.
  • mwellsg
    mwellsg Member Posts: 66
    #3
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    Interesting
    Seems when faced with "mortality", clarity is the by product.

    I am just getting started with all this cancer stuff, but I have been in a similar position once before. I lost my leg in a motorcycle accident.

    Seems that when you finally learn that you are not immortal, and that is hard to learn, you also learn how to talk straight from your heart; but in a way that is agreeable and not discomforting to those you love. It's like they don't sense any other agenda other than pure from the heart feelings and it's ok.

    So be ok, speak from your heart. You'll be amazed how much better you and the ones around you feel.

    Be well.
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
    #4
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    JUDYV5 said:

    Don't like sasuage pizza
    I have been married for over 21 years every Friday night we have pizza. I like thick pizza loaded with vegies. Husband likes thin sausage. I have eaten thin sasuage pizza pretty much once a week for over 21 years. I no longer eat sasuage pizza. He was very concerned at first. Why wasn't I eating ?? I was eating, but I am no longer going to eat something I really don't like.

    So funny
    Hi Judy, your pizza comment was great. My wife used to insist on only one take-out pizza. I too ate it for years. It was good, but I had discovered other, tastier pizzas via work lunches. When I asked her about taking turns the idea wasn't well received. Not because she was overbearing especially, just that we had had her way without me objecting for so long. We eventually ended up in counseling (not for the pizza, but it was exemplary). He said why didn't we just get two smaller pizzas. That's why he gets the big bucks I guess.

    best, Hal
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #5
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    mwellsg said:

    Interesting
    Seems when faced with "mortality", clarity is the by product.

    I am just getting started with all this cancer stuff, but I have been in a similar position once before. I lost my leg in a motorcycle accident.

    Seems that when you finally learn that you are not immortal, and that is hard to learn, you also learn how to talk straight from your heart; but in a way that is agreeable and not discomforting to those you love. It's like they don't sense any other agenda other than pure from the heart feelings and it's ok.

    So be ok, speak from your heart. You'll be amazed how much better you and the ones around you feel.

    Be well.

    No chemo here...
    ...wonder what my excuse is? Well to tell the truth, (ahem :)) I have never had a filter and have often been accused of being too direct and too truthful. I have to make an effort to fermé ma bouche so as not to hurt people's feelings. Not easy for me. Lol
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
    #6
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    Honest Abe
    Hi Mike, since my diagnosis I've made an effort to be more honest and patient. It's probably natural because you get a sense, good outcome or not, that your days are numbered. Your blurt worked out, and good for your wife for going with you. Telling it like it is, is sometimes tricky though. I'm thinking of that new commercial where Abe Lincoln's wife has asked Abe if her butt looks a bit large in the dress she's wearing. Maybe you've seen it. Abe halts, measures his words, and says well, maybe just a bit, and the result is history.

    best, Hal
  • Hal61
    Hal61 Member Posts: 655
    #7
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    sweetblood22 said:

    No chemo here...
    ...wonder what my excuse is? Well to tell the truth, (ahem :)) I have never had a filter and have often been accused of being too direct and too truthful. I have to make an effort to fermé ma bouche so as not to hurt people's feelings. Not easy for me. Lol

    Speaking Sicilian
    Hi Sweet, I think it's your heritage. Which also explains--as far as I can tell from watching movies--why all the men in your homeland carry shotguns. ;-)

    best, Hal
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #8
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    Hal61 said:

    Speaking Sicilian
    Hi Sweet, I think it's your heritage. Which also explains--as far as I can tell from watching movies--why all the men in your homeland carry shotguns. ;-)

    best, Hal

    My Heritage.
    Yeah, we can be a handful. Lol. I have had more than one man call me a spit fire or a firey little Sicilian. If you get me mad carrying a weapon would be advisable. :) Just sayin......
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
    #9
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    Hal61 said:

    Honest Abe
    Hi Mike, since my diagnosis I've made an effort to be more honest and patient. It's probably natural because you get a sense, good outcome or not, that your days are numbered. Your blurt worked out, and good for your wife for going with you. Telling it like it is, is sometimes tricky though. I'm thinking of that new commercial where Abe Lincoln's wife has asked Abe if her butt looks a bit large in the dress she's wearing. Maybe you've seen it. Abe halts, measures his words, and says well, maybe just a bit, and the result is history.

    best, Hal

    Honest Abe
    That commercial is hysterical. I often wonder why some people ask my opinion when they know I'm going to be honest. I also wear every expression and emotion on my face. I have no poker face. Consequently I also suck at lying. Plus my memory isn't good enough to do it because I forget what I made up so I don't bother.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #10
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    A Brave Man
    Ratface you are one brave Man my friend, I would never do what you did for fear of never eating again. The way I see it after so many years you learn to like it and keep quiet.

    Good post my friend
  • rozaroo
    rozaroo Member Posts: 665
    #11
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    Hondo said:

    A Brave Man
    Ratface you are one brave Man my friend, I would never do what you did for fear of never eating again. The way I see it after so many years you learn to like it and keep quiet.

    Good post my friend

    truth serum
    I thought I was very direct before. Now I make a point of it lol!
  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
    #12
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    rozaroo said:

    truth serum
    I thought I was very direct before. Now I make a point of it lol!

    It just came out
    I intended to go to my grave with my secret disdain for the dreaded sauce but it was not to be. I currently do the cooking anyway so I am lucky to have enough to eat. The woman is 100% Sicilian so sleeping could be a problem, or shall I say "Swimming with the fishes" might be my new past-time.
  • Kimba1505
    Kimba1505 Member Posts: 557
    #13
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    ratface said:

    It just came out
    I intended to go to my grave with my secret disdain for the dreaded sauce but it was not to be. I currently do the cooking anyway so I am lucky to have enough to eat. The woman is 100% Sicilian so sleeping could be a problem, or shall I say "Swimming with the fishes" might be my new past-time.

    Funny thread.
    Only thing I have to add is you realize how much time is wasted in beating around the bush or indirect communication. Cancer results in realizing how precious time is...every moment.
    Just a little direct/funny-ish thing between me and Mark recently. He was standing with his shirt off doing his lymphodema massage, and he turns to me and asks, "Do I look symmetrical"? I said, "No", with that quizical, are you serious, kind of tone and expression. PAUSE "I don't?" he said. In a light and humerous way I reminded him of the chunk of his neck that was cut away and that he in fact is not symmetrical...but he is whole. I love him!!
    Kim
  • Army_Guy
    Army_Guy Member Posts: 53
    #14
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    Kimba1505 said:

    Funny thread.
    Only thing I have to add is you realize how much time is wasted in beating around the bush or indirect communication. Cancer results in realizing how precious time is...every moment.
    Just a little direct/funny-ish thing between me and Mark recently. He was standing with his shirt off doing his lymphodema massage, and he turns to me and asks, "Do I look symmetrical"? I said, "No", with that quizical, are you serious, kind of tone and expression. PAUSE "I don't?" he said. In a light and humerous way I reminded him of the chunk of his neck that was cut away and that he in fact is not symmetrical...but he is whole. I love him!!
    Kim

    Funny...
    Ah..."gallows humor". I love it. We have all lost a part of our lives because of "C"...that goes for both survivors and caregivers. Keep up the sense of humor and we will add years to our lives. I survived growing up in a tough part of Brooklyn, NY; a 25-year career in the U.S. Army that included 3 combat tours in Vietnam and 2 "inefficiency in combat" awards (Purple Hearts); I also survived 214 parachute jumps. Although cancer was the first thing that scared me in a very long time, it was also the first thing in a long time that fired up my "determination gene."

    I have a pin I wear that says "Kickin' Cancers ****"...so let us all get the last laugh and continue to beat this thing. By the way, I'm half Italian and make a KILLER sauce, which is how I attracted my beautiful Italian wife!

    I loved everyone's comments and got a few good chuckles out of them.

    Army_Guy
  • SASH
    SASH Member Posts: 421 Member
    #15
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    Army_Guy said:

    Funny...
    Ah..."gallows humor". I love it. We have all lost a part of our lives because of "C"...that goes for both survivors and caregivers. Keep up the sense of humor and we will add years to our lives. I survived growing up in a tough part of Brooklyn, NY; a 25-year career in the U.S. Army that included 3 combat tours in Vietnam and 2 "inefficiency in combat" awards (Purple Hearts); I also survived 214 parachute jumps. Although cancer was the first thing that scared me in a very long time, it was also the first thing in a long time that fired up my "determination gene."

    I have a pin I wear that says "Kickin' Cancers ****"...so let us all get the last laugh and continue to beat this thing. By the way, I'm half Italian and make a KILLER sauce, which is how I attracted my beautiful Italian wife!

    I loved everyone's comments and got a few good chuckles out of them.

    Army_Guy

    Truth
    I wouldn't tell the truth even if I knew the answer.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #16
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    SASH said:

    Truth
    I wouldn't tell the truth even if I knew the answer.

    Discernment:
    The ability to know when to shut ones mouth
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #17
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    Hondo said:

    Discernment:
    The ability to know when to shut ones mouth

    Long Happy Relationship with Shelley
    The ability to know when to shut ones mouth....
  • Agatha
    Agatha Member Posts: 62
    #18
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    Tomato Sauce
    I agree with those who have said you are a very brave man! Making homemade tomato sauce is a very big thing in my family. If I went out and bought it in a jar, it wouldn't go over so well. This due to being raised in a house with my Italian grandparents and parents (not Sicilian - but laughed at all the jokes).

    Honestly, I had radiation, not chemo, but I imagine the directness is because you realize how much more you want to enjoy life as much as possible while you're here.

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