Just venting
Comments
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Honey I been there done that
Honey I been there done that got the damn T shirt. I'm going thru the same thing w my husband. It's a rough row to hoe and if you ever need something you let me know.0 -
Candy,(CBeckman) Your doing
Candy,(CBeckman) Your doing all that you can and then going the extra mile each and everytime. Its who you are, your identity, what you expect from yourself. Your heart is what defines you right? It can be frustrating and exhasting being a caregiver, employee, mother, spouse, meeting deadlines and finding time for yourself. Despite the lack of appreciation others express to you, always remember one thing. You step up for others during both good times and difficult times and you do it because giving of yourself to others is who you are. Your compassionate, determined, and want to make a difference.
Dont change, the world needs more human beings like you
Cancer, a Common Bond to the Ultimate Test of Friendship
"Our Time to Heal"
Being diagnosed with cancer
separates our friends from pretenders
Cancer provides a litmus test
for those who we can trust
Because our quest is to survive
and do all that we can to thrive
No cancer patient should be left to ask why
Why a brother is now elusive as a butterfly
Or why a spouse has now misplaced their loyalty
You slowly see a difference in your friends
and while you try to justify their actions
its not something you can honestly defend
Sometimes it feels as if you’re just a distraction
When we return to our work environment
Our colleagues seem to have misplaced their sentiment
We spend many days reflecting on what we did wrong
But we do not find anything that suggests we do not belong
As we look for a kinder and more gentler world
We remember the songs that we grew up with
You remember those favorite places with those greener pastures
And the acorns that attracted nature’s playful squirrels
Some of us turn to reading and writing
Others discover the little things in life
We try and find a common bond
With others that we have come to be very fond
We walked many of the same rugged rock formations
And know in our hearts
that each of us had our moment of quiet celebrations
as our lives have taken a new path with a new start
We are hurt that those of us that we thought we could count upon
Gradually slipping away from us, eerily setting just below the sun
We have no answer when our friends appear in distant shadows
And find inside our soul an aching feeling which is ever so hollow
We have not changed nor do we intend to
We will always take the high ground as its our creed
and be there for others in need cause they are human too
Even for those who abandoned us in our time of greatest need
by Steve Heart of Soul
2 time cancer survivor and caregiver to others, both family and friends,0 -
Funny I am reading your
Funny I am reading your story tonight my mom is acting the same way but we are at the hospital been here since Sunday tonight she is seeing snowmobiles in the room the doctors aren't sure why all of this is happening other than now after 3 months with stint ,kidney now is not working,My mom has really gone down hill since her last chemo.But really wants to live to see christmas.My sisters and I rushed to hospital Sunday told mom may not make it, so after they found out she probably will live a little longer guess what they all left and I a have been here day and night since because mom pantics if I am not right there.Don't get me wrong they do help I told them we all have drifferent strengths if they need a break take it because the worse hasn't hit us yet so get rested, the problem is they really aren't getting rested or have come to give me a little break without wanting me to put out other family fires it is crazy!I feel as if my mom can't even die in peace or grace because they keep telling her their promblems and she worries about them.I am just venting and tired.I have never seen my mom cry so much ,hurt so much, and so confused it is a little scary and dishearting.And I love her so much.She wants to keep fighting I really think the end is coming.But back to you some family members can not face the person being sick because they can't fix it and they are angry with themselves and need to blame someone so right now they are comfortable with blaming you and deep down they know you wouldn't hurt your loved one they themselves feel helpless.They need prayers.You just keep doing what you are so you know what you did was right for and your love one .Your brother needs to come to his own terms his own way on what is happening.God bless you!0 -
Thanks you. Hope things getmswijiknyc said:Honey I been there done that
Honey I been there done that got the damn T shirt. I'm going thru the same thing w my husband. It's a rough row to hoe and if you ever need something you let me know.
Thanks you. Hope things get better for you as well.0 -
THank you Steve! That isHeartofSoul said:Candy,(CBeckman) Your doing
Candy,(CBeckman) Your doing all that you can and then going the extra mile each and everytime. Its who you are, your identity, what you expect from yourself. Your heart is what defines you right? It can be frustrating and exhasting being a caregiver, employee, mother, spouse, meeting deadlines and finding time for yourself. Despite the lack of appreciation others express to you, always remember one thing. You step up for others during both good times and difficult times and you do it because giving of yourself to others is who you are. Your compassionate, determined, and want to make a difference.
Dont change, the world needs more human beings like you
Cancer, a Common Bond to the Ultimate Test of Friendship
"Our Time to Heal"
Being diagnosed with cancer
separates our friends from pretenders
Cancer provides a litmus test
for those who we can trust
Because our quest is to survive
and do all that we can to thrive
No cancer patient should be left to ask why
Why a brother is now elusive as a butterfly
Or why a spouse has now misplaced their loyalty
You slowly see a difference in your friends
and while you try to justify their actions
its not something you can honestly defend
Sometimes it feels as if you’re just a distraction
When we return to our work environment
Our colleagues seem to have misplaced their sentiment
We spend many days reflecting on what we did wrong
But we do not find anything that suggests we do not belong
As we look for a kinder and more gentler world
We remember the songs that we grew up with
You remember those favorite places with those greener pastures
And the acorns that attracted nature’s playful squirrels
Some of us turn to reading and writing
Others discover the little things in life
We try and find a common bond
With others that we have come to be very fond
We walked many of the same rugged rock formations
And know in our hearts
that each of us had our moment of quiet celebrations
as our lives have taken a new path with a new start
We are hurt that those of us that we thought we could count upon
Gradually slipping away from us, eerily setting just below the sun
We have no answer when our friends appear in distant shadows
And find inside our soul an aching feeling which is ever so hollow
We have not changed nor do we intend to
We will always take the high ground as its our creed
and be there for others in need cause they are human too
Even for those who abandoned us in our time of greatest need
by Steve Heart of Soul
2 time cancer survivor and caregiver to others, both family and friends,
THank you Steve! That is very beautiful! You should definitly publish it. I think your words would help so many of us. Thank you again.0 -
I am sorry for you too. I'mVicky DeRosia said:Funny I am reading your
Funny I am reading your story tonight my mom is acting the same way but we are at the hospital been here since Sunday tonight she is seeing snowmobiles in the room the doctors aren't sure why all of this is happening other than now after 3 months with stint ,kidney now is not working,My mom has really gone down hill since her last chemo.But really wants to live to see christmas.My sisters and I rushed to hospital Sunday told mom may not make it, so after they found out she probably will live a little longer guess what they all left and I a have been here day and night since because mom pantics if I am not right there.Don't get me wrong they do help I told them we all have drifferent strengths if they need a break take it because the worse hasn't hit us yet so get rested, the problem is they really aren't getting rested or have come to give me a little break without wanting me to put out other family fires it is crazy!I feel as if my mom can't even die in peace or grace because they keep telling her their promblems and she worries about them.I am just venting and tired.I have never seen my mom cry so much ,hurt so much, and so confused it is a little scary and dishearting.And I love her so much.She wants to keep fighting I really think the end is coming.But back to you some family members can not face the person being sick because they can't fix it and they are angry with themselves and need to blame someone so right now they are comfortable with blaming you and deep down they know you wouldn't hurt your loved one they themselves feel helpless.They need prayers.You just keep doing what you are so you know what you did was right for and your love one .Your brother needs to come to his own terms his own way on what is happening.God bless you!
I am sorry for you too. I'm finding that if one person steps up for the needs of a family member, the rest of the family pretty much excuses themself. I think in thier mind they feel that the cancer patient is being taking care of so they don't need to put forth as much effort. Everyone shows up when they think the end is near, but they don't want to inconvenience themselfs through the journey of getting there. We need to remember that WE are the ones that have given ALL that we can, The person we care for knows what we are doing and for me, that gives me strangth. In this battle I have had some really close times with my mom, over the weekend we laughed about shaving her head because her hair is starting to fall out. I told her I would buy her a nit hat and glue he hair to it and nobody would ever know she looks like Mr. Clean. Than we laid in her bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud. I was teaching her how to play games on the computer..That didn't go so well, but it was fun. We have our good times that the rest of them will miss out on. But I think in this horrible time of my mom's cancer, that thing I will always charish the most is yesturday. She is still in and out of it, she remembers me, then doesn't. But I was really sick yesturday, I still made it up to the Hospital at 6am. I was resting on the rail of her bed with my head down on it, She was telling the nurse to remove the "chains" on her bed, then she looked at me, started rubbing my hair and was singing me a lullaby. That right there was worth everything!
As for my brother, he is getting worse, I get chewed out again, because I am the power of attorney. After getting screamed at I had to remind him, that he wasnt there, and didnt want to be. Mom maid the decisions she wanted. I told him that he is more than welcome to be apart of this and There in no reason to be fighting. It's just unreal, how this is turning out. I've heard other familys talk about how they fight and what not, but I never dreamed I would be put into this position. Why can't people over look, their greed and just try to do whats best for their loved one. If my mom had her witts about her, she would be so hurt to see this. Dispite every effort I do to make it stop, He just keeps coming back with more. My brother is a mean Alcoholic, and he's bringing it to the hospital. My mom doesnt need to see this and I don't need it either! if he wants to help than help, but leave the attitude at the bar.0 -
Venting Is Good
It is good to vent and many here understand what a difficult journey this is. I don't have anything to add to what others have said. I just want you to remember that you are doing the best you can. That is the most you can expect of yourself. Don't let others lay guilt trips on you for anything. Your priorities need to be your mom and your son. The others are adults and they can take care of themselves. Obviously, your brother is trying to throw his guilt trip on you. If he yells at you, walk away. You don't have to put up with that. The same goes for the boyfriend. Yelling and bad language is not acceptable. You have enough on your plate without that. Be sure that you are getting enough rest, too. I know that's not easy, but you need to take care of yourself for that little boy. Hugs and prayers, Fay0 -
I want to thank everyone for
I want to thank everyone for your posts, it has helped tramendisly! Although my brother is still giving me a hard time, he now has a better understanding based on information he is recieving. I will be deleting this blog (if possible) So I can direct my brothers attention to this website in hopes that it will help answer his questions/confusions as it has helped me. Once again thank you So very much.
Steve (heartofsoul) Hope you dont mind that I printed your poem. I have it with my mix off memories (things I like to keep)Thank you for that.0 -
thank you for printing thecbeckman said:I want to thank everyone for
I want to thank everyone for your posts, it has helped tramendisly! Although my brother is still giving me a hard time, he now has a better understanding based on information he is recieving. I will be deleting this blog (if possible) So I can direct my brothers attention to this website in hopes that it will help answer his questions/confusions as it has helped me. Once again thank you So very much.
Steve (heartofsoul) Hope you dont mind that I printed your poem. I have it with my mix off memories (things I like to keep)Thank you for that.
thank you for printing the poem as I hope you gain strength from it. I also have your mom in my prayers. she is lucky to have you0 -
What aHeartofSoul said:thank you for printing the
thank you for printing the poem as I hope you gain strength from it. I also have your mom in my prayers. she is lucky to have you
nightmare from your brother and boyfriend and what strength you have taking care of your mom! She is so lucky to have you as a daughter, helping her to fight this beast.
I know you can't lose the brother, but I would sure lose the boyfriend (just sayin). You don't have to take that crap. Not even in the best of times and certainly not now.
Vent away..we will listen and support you!
Merry Christmas
Angela0
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