Grasping at Straws

Hello, This is my first post to this discussion group and I thank you all for listening. A member of my family(age 49) was diagnosed last year 2009 with Non-Hogkins Lymphoma (Follicular,Indolent) Lymph nodes in cervical, axillary and mediastinum. Biopsy was done on cervical node confirming this diagnosis. He was offered to participate in a trial study which he agreed to but when that did not seem to be helping, he was encouraged to got the way of Chemotherapy.
Since then he has gone through R-Chop (3x) and has tolerated all well...Blood work always came back good. A month or so after last chemo, pain returned to his back. (He had an injury to his rib many years ago and this area seems to light up on pet scans) Biopsy was done on this area and that came back as Large B cell which we were told is much more aggressive. January 2010
We talked about stem cell replacement and other hospital options. The new plan was to now due R-ICE plus Neulasta repeating the cycle 3 times before (every 14 to 21 days) and then Stem cells would be harvested.(March 2010)
He consulted another hospital in the immediate area which had more experience with SCT and the SCT was to be done there. In the meantime his pain was worse in his back and his oncologist suggested another Pet scan and that a part of his rib be taken out. After this operation he remained in the hospital for the R-ICE treatments.(May 2010)
They also said they found a donor that was 100% match.Once this next set of R-ice was done he went back to the second hospital that he decided was were he wanted the SCT to be done. They denied him as they said he was not in "full remission"
Wanting to stay close to home for treatment he decided to stay with the first hospital for the SCT. Once admitted he had more chemo treatments(BEAM?) and also Total body radiation and targeted radiation to the Rib area.(August 2010)
(All this was pretty well tolerated but he did have bouts of nausea and diahrea.) They then told him this was the perfect time for the transplant.
He remained in the hospital for about 5 weeks and contracted C-Diff (was put on anti-virals) They also said he had Cytomeglovirus, but was released from the hospital and told he was stable.
The next few weeks at home he was doing ok...tired but he was told that was normal. He bent down to pick up his child one day and his back started hurting in the same area as before. He took pain meds when necessary but pain seemed to get worse. The doctor ordered a Ct of his chest and abdomen which was unremarkable, but doctor could not find where the pain was coming from so decided to do a superficial biopsy of the area. That biopsy came out negative. His pain got worse and he continued taking pain meds as now he was in pain and scared. Doctor ordered a "deeper biopsy" but when he went to hospital to talk about it they did a chest xray and found his lt. lung was collapsed. They admitted him through the ER and he is now in ICU. The doctor's did a biopsy of the lung fluid and called in the am to say it was clear of Lymphoma cells...but by 5pm we got a call saying "another" biopsy confirmed it was Lymphoma.
The put in a chest tube through his side and told us it was a matter of time. We are on our way up today to get more answers or at least pose more questions.
They are talking hospice but yesterday they took out the suction from the chest tube to see if lungs filled up as fast (yet to be answered) but his bloodwork levels (creatine) which was extremely elevated as well had gone back to normal...
I am going to ask if maybe a transfer to Sloan or another hospital would be advisable. At the beginning they said He would have options if the SCT did not work...things just seem to be happening too fast.
Again thanks for reading..if anyone has any input it would be greatly appreciated.