Need help---my mom is having difficult adjustment back home

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wendybill
wendybill Member Posts: 84
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hi everyone---

My mom moved discharged rehab on Tuesday to her home. I have been staying with her since. She thought that she would feel less anxious at home, but truthfully I think it is worse. She is so scared. We had problems with the wound vac from the start that sent her over the edge. The last two days she has had two blow outs from her colostomy bag. She is tearful, depressed and unmotivated to get off the couch. Since thursday she has been complainng of nausea, light headedness and just feeling lousy. I keep hoping that each day she will feel better but she doesn't. I'm not sure if it is a result of her flu shot, the one dose of prozac she took, anxiety, or her cancer coming back. She is not able to take her own pills independently, get up the stairs without help, make food or handle all of her colostomy stuff. She is supposed to start chemo (carbo/taxol) on Nov. 1 and I believe that she cannnot be in rehab during chemo because the rehab won't pay for the treatment. This nixes her going back. :(

I have to leave here in five days and am feeling pretty petrified. Any thoughts?

Wendy

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  • clamryn
    clamryn Member Posts: 508
    #2
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    Wendy I wish I could do
    Wendy I wish I could do something for you and your mom. I read your post and I feel so helpless. I am hoping someone will have some ideas for you. I think it is probably really overwhelming of all what needs to be taken care of. Just deal with one day at a time and maybe it will get easier for your mom to adjust to everything. I had to deal with a wound that would not heal for a while and it wasn't fun. My doctor had me going to a wound doctor and I finally got upset with him and took care of it myself. I had four tunnels underneath my skin and every time I would go to the wound doctor, they would just dig in it just so they could measure it. That would make it worse. Looks like I have two belly buttons now. But it is healed. My grandkids think it is funny. I haven't had a colostomy bag. Maybe some of the other ladies can help you with that.

    Hang in there, I will be praying for both of you.

    Linda
  • leesag
    leesag Member Posts: 621 Member
    #3
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    My dad
    Wendy, after a prolonged stay in rehab for things unrelated to cancer, he was also released. My sister and I work full time and couldn't really be there every day to make sure he showered, turned off the coffeepot, etc.... I did some research and found a company here in Baltimore that would send someone out for four hours at a time for 11 dollars an hour (I think that's how much it was, don't quote me.) The person that was sent out was a "home health care aide" but would also do light housekeeping. You might want to call around and see if there's something like that that in your area. The person they sent was NOT a nurse, but was a "certified home health aide."

    This was a big relief to my sister and me!
  • wendybill
    wendybill Member Posts: 84
    #4
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    leesag said:

    My dad
    Wendy, after a prolonged stay in rehab for things unrelated to cancer, he was also released. My sister and I work full time and couldn't really be there every day to make sure he showered, turned off the coffeepot, etc.... I did some research and found a company here in Baltimore that would send someone out for four hours at a time for 11 dollars an hour (I think that's how much it was, don't quote me.) The person that was sent out was a "home health care aide" but would also do light housekeeping. You might want to call around and see if there's something like that that in your area. The person they sent was NOT a nurse, but was a "certified home health aide."

    This was a big relief to my sister and me!

    Thank you Leesgag. I am
    Thank you Leesgag. I am looking into options. Our home health aids will only do personal care. She needs someone to do laundry, grocery shop, pick up meds, etc... There are companies that do these services but they have a 6 hour minimum per week and are fairly costly per hour.

    I am having so much trouble with the wound vac that I could throw it out the window. What a PIA! I dread the alarms all night. And now my mom has a wound infection. Ugh!

    Wendy
  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #5
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    wendybill said:

    Thank you Leesgag. I am
    Thank you Leesgag. I am looking into options. Our home health aids will only do personal care. She needs someone to do laundry, grocery shop, pick up meds, etc... There are companies that do these services but they have a 6 hour minimum per week and are fairly costly per hour.

    I am having so much trouble with the wound vac that I could throw it out the window. What a PIA! I dread the alarms all night. And now my mom has a wound infection. Ugh!

    Wendy

    patching things together
    Wendy, I know how you feel when you say you have to leave, but what are you supposed to do? My mother has been battling OVCA for almost two years, where nobody gets off easy.

    Where my mother lives, the services you want are available in 4-hour increments at $20 an hour. Not a good short or long term solution, but at least the people are experienced and bonded. I like knowing that if we had to call them, a reputable agency is available.

    This is such a sad situation, but I don't know how we can clone ourselves. I'm heading back to Mom's tomorrow after an 8-day break. Shouldn't say that, now you're jealous, but seriously, a break may save you.

    My mother's friends have come through time and again. If your mother's friends keep offering help, start lining them up. They really, really want to help with shopping, laundry and all that stuff. I've had them weep with joy when I called and asked them to check on Mom on specific days when all family members were out of pocket.
  • leesag
    leesag Member Posts: 621 Member
    #6
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    wendybill said:

    Thank you Leesgag. I am
    Thank you Leesgag. I am looking into options. Our home health aids will only do personal care. She needs someone to do laundry, grocery shop, pick up meds, etc... There are companies that do these services but they have a 6 hour minimum per week and are fairly costly per hour.

    I am having so much trouble with the wound vac that I could throw it out the window. What a PIA! I dread the alarms all night. And now my mom has a wound infection. Ugh!

    Wendy

    Social Services at the hospital?
    Wendy, have you contacted your social worker through the hospital or through American Cancer Society? They might be able to offer better options!

    Saying prayers honey!

    Leesa
  • msfanciful
    msfanciful Member Posts: 559
    #7
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    Hi,
    Have been away for a
    Hi,
    Have been away for a while and just saw your post.

    I would do what Leesa suggested. The ACS has a host of wonderful programs/resources for everything from housing issues to mental health issues. They certainly worth a try and I myself have benefitted from ACS.

    I will keep you and your mom in my prayers.

    Love,
    Sharon

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