Mastectomy is my only option

Options
tjohnson2310
tjohnson2310 Member Posts: 168 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have had chemo before surgery. I finished 12 weeks of Taxol last week. This week I start FEC for a total of 4 cycles. Today I was told the tumor is responding. However on yesterday the surgeon says a right breast mastectomy is my best option because of the size and location. I will be tested for BRCA. The surgeon says if BRCA positive I should have a prophylactic mastectomy of the left breast. OMG. This is so overwhelming even though it was expected. I will have my surgery in January. So, now I am freaking out. Not only one breast but possibly both. My mother had breast cancer at 41 so I am pretty much convinced I have the BRCA gene(until proven otherwise).I am ready and willing to go through with the surgeries I need to fight this disease. But, I have anxiety about how I will react to seeing myself without a breast(s).
«1

Comments

  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #2
    Options
    I saw myself alive!

    I saw myself alive!
  • tjohnson2310
    tjohnson2310 Member Posts: 168 Member
    #3
    Options
    Rague said:

    I saw myself alive!

    I saw myself alive!

    Point taken
    Point taken, Rague
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    #4
    Options
    tjohnson2310 said:

    Point taken
    Point taken, Rague

    In the words of my beloved wife Moopy 2 years ago
    "Cut the thing off already. It's trying to kill me."

    And even after the surgeon did just that, she's still the same Moopy I fell in love with all those years ago... even better, in fact, because now she is not only my wife but my hero too.
  • tjohnson2310
    tjohnson2310 Member Posts: 168 Member
    #5
    Options
    Aortus said:

    In the words of my beloved wife Moopy 2 years ago
    "Cut the thing off already. It's trying to kill me."

    And even after the surgeon did just that, she's still the same Moopy I fell in love with all those years ago... even better, in fact, because now she is not only my wife but my hero too.

    Thanks Aortus
    Thanks Aortus.
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #6
    Options
    BRCA is one of many
    BRCA is one of many potential contributing factors. My Sister was a breast cancer survivor for 6 years, I am for 3 years so far, both negative. I had a double mastectomy, prophylactic on the left even though the Drs. said I only had 10% risk of spreading to other side and they did not deem it "medically necessary". Now that reconstruction is all done I look and feel just about like I did before (except for the "battle scars"). There are many options and the decisions are all yours to make because you are the one who has to live with the results. I found a book on the ACS online bookstore, "The Reconstruction Guidebook" that helped me a lot. I also looked on line on places like the Susan G. Comen website to see pics and info about surgery and reconstruction. This site is also a great place for the voice of experience.

    Best wishes on making a decision you will be happy with. seof.
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
    #7
    Options
    for me its no big deal
    Went on line and found lots of pictures to look at. The pictures were a lot worse looking than my chest. I now just look like a boy chest and where the nipple should be is a very fine scar.

    I have chosen not to do reconstruction. Again looked at a lot of pictures and researched options. I decided it was not worth all the surgeries and pain just to have to bumps up front. To me they don't look real and that kind of freaked me out.

    I am only 5 months out since my double mastectomy and usually don't even wear a bra with prosethesis. I am amazed at how many people don't even notice I have no boobs.
  • carriesoup
    carriesoup Member Posts: 144
    #8
    Options
    it's a scary thought! you
    it's a scary thought! you never know how you're going to feel until it's done. after i had my lumpectomy this summer, i wondered if i did the right thing. i still look in the mirror and wonder if i did. should i have just gotten the mastectomy? i'm uneven now and my right side is quite a bit smaller than my left. and, that's just my own brain, because my boyfriend thinks i look fine. i don't know if any solution in the "right" one. our breasts make us womanly. it's hard not to want them around!
    IT DID TRY TO KILL YOU THOUGH! lol. ;)

    (how long do you have to wait for reconstruction after a mastectomy?)
    *hugs*
    carrie :)
  • tjohnson2310
    tjohnson2310 Member Posts: 168 Member
    #9
    Options
    carriesoup said:

    it's a scary thought! you
    it's a scary thought! you never know how you're going to feel until it's done. after i had my lumpectomy this summer, i wondered if i did the right thing. i still look in the mirror and wonder if i did. should i have just gotten the mastectomy? i'm uneven now and my right side is quite a bit smaller than my left. and, that's just my own brain, because my boyfriend thinks i look fine. i don't know if any solution in the "right" one. our breasts make us womanly. it's hard not to want them around!
    IT DID TRY TO KILL YOU THOUGH! lol. ;)

    (how long do you have to wait for reconstruction after a mastectomy?)
    *hugs*
    carrie :)

    No Reconstruction
    I don't want to have reconstructive surgery. If I were to have it it would have to be about 6 months after surgery.
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    #10
    Options
    tjohnson2310 said:

    No Reconstruction
    I don't want to have reconstructive surgery. If I were to have it it would have to be about 6 months after surgery.

    No reconstruction here either.
    Moopy didn't want to have reconstruction, and I agreed with her decision 150%. I realize that opinions vary for all sorts of perfectly valid reasons. But in my opinion, the ideal number of boobs for a wife ranges from 0 to 2. Since Moopy is well within that range, I got no problems!
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #11
    Options
    It is kind of weird without
    It is kind of weird without boobies, but got me some new ones. At least on the one side. Going to have elective mast hopefully on the 21st this month. See surgeon tomorrow. Then I shall wear my tee that says, course their fake, the real ones tried to kill me. Good luck with all your test.
    You know, thinking back I did an experiment. Had tight shirt(premast) and a girl (younger than me) was walking towards me with her boyfriend, she mean mugged me! We were about the same boob size, so I couldn't figure whyyy mean mug me. I have wrinkles even. I think we women consider our boobs a power source to a point. Weather it's conscience or not. I don't really miss mine any more. Think we all are stronger than we first realize. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. It will be ok :) Katz
  • Wolfi
    Wolfi Member Posts: 425
    #12
    Options
    sweetvickid said:

    for me its no big deal
    Went on line and found lots of pictures to look at. The pictures were a lot worse looking than my chest. I now just look like a boy chest and where the nipple should be is a very fine scar.

    I have chosen not to do reconstruction. Again looked at a lot of pictures and researched options. I decided it was not worth all the surgeries and pain just to have to bumps up front. To me they don't look real and that kind of freaked me out.

    I am only 5 months out since my double mastectomy and usually don't even wear a bra with prosethesis. I am amazed at how many people don't even notice I have no boobs.

    Pictures
    I also went online and found quite a few pictures of bilaterals before I had my surgery. I think seeing them helped me realize how I was going to look before I saw myself for the first time after surgery.

    Getting a lot of information is important when dealing with bc treatments in order to make informed decisions and be happy with them. I also opted to not do any reconstruction due to the extra surgeries that would be needed.
  • carriet
    carriet Member Posts: 1
    #13
    Options
    better yet
    I had a single mastectomy in May and just had implants placed in both breasts a couple of days ago. Even though I have lost my hair and currently quite lopsided, I know that next summer, I will have a better outlook on life, possibly curly thick hair, a great body, and new ****! Keep positive that you will soon be new and improved!
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    #14
    Options
    I had cancer in my right
    I had cancer in my right breast, and in July I had both of them removed. At 34 years old, it was probably the biggest decision I've ever made in my life. I'm also undergoing reconstruction & almost done with that part.
    In the hospital after my mastectomy, I took little peeks under my bandages whenever I could. I did NOT want to have a "big unveiling" in front of the mirror or anything. I looked & peeked so that when I did take the bandages off, I wasn't totally shocked. And honestly, I wasn't. It didn't make me cry, or upset me. I made peace with my body the night before my surgery. Of course I would look different, but I am still me on the inside. And I'm alive - something I plan on being for a very long time.
    I looked up pictures of mastectomy patients also, if you're not too squeamish you might want to do this. Seeing actual photos of other patients helped me out alot. If you haven't already, google "The Scar Project" - it's a photography exhibition featuring women who have undergone mastectomy. Beautiful and moving pictures. Also, Samuraimom on here has a website that features her story & pictures from her mastectomy that I found very helpful. If you click on her "about me" page she has the link to it on there.
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • hoop77
    hoop77 Member Posts: 84
    #15
    Options
    They're only boobs, just try
    They're only boobs, just try to remember that...Your life is so much more important than a couple of bumps on your chest! I had mine in May and honestly, it's really not that bad. i still have days where I get down, but I'm so happy to have the dreaded cancer out of my body!!! I had a bilateral with expanders and just had exchange surgery 6 weeks ago. I still have discomfort, but nothing compared to the pain with expanders and my new foobs are actually a little bigger than the ones that tried to kill me. I know it's scary and heartbreaking, but you can get through this! Once again, your life is more important! Sending prayers and hugs your way!!!
    Laura
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691
    #16
    Options
    You are not your breasts!

    You are not your breasts! In fact you are much more than your physical body.

    The anxiety is for something that you don't even know yet. You don't know how you might react and you might just be alright about your appearance after surgery. Just deal with today and then deal with whatever you reaction is when you see yourself after surgery at that time.

    I wish you well.
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #17
    Options
    Although I didn't
    have chemo prior to surgery I can sympathize with what your feeling. I had Invasive Lobular Carcinoma in my right breast and the tumor was 6.1 cm. My surgeon said it would have been disfiguring to say the least. I also had LCIS in the left breast and decided I wasn't going to wait around to go through 2 mastectomies. I opted for bilateral mastectomy and have not regretted it. I'm the 5th in my family with bc. My grandmother died after it metastized to her bones. That was 56 years ago. My aunt who is 90 now had a mastectomy at age 68 and is doing well. I have 2 sisters who are bc survivors although neither of them need mastectomy. I tested negative for the BRCA genes. At 61 I've decided not to have reconstruction. I purchased my "new girls" and insurance paid for them. I did meet with a ps prior to surgery and he told me I could have reconstruction many years later if I ever decided it was what I wanted. I think I'll be happy with what I have rather that go through more surgery. I had chemo #4 of 6 yesterday. It is all doable. I know this is a lot to take in. Believe in yourself and your drs and some day you'll know what you went through was worth it.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • AMomNETN
    AMomNETN Member Posts: 242
    #18
    Options
    Mastecomy
    I had DCIS on the right breast only 2 cm but cancer none the less. I opted for a double mastecomy for 2 reasons. First I didn't want to go thru 2 mastecomies and second for reconstruction it is easier for them to be symentical. This is your choice and do what it right for you. I agree with the others that you are more important than boobs. They are just a very small part of you. I've created a new oxymoron tho, I call my implants that they are my "real fakes". I'm getting those the end of this month.

    Janie
  • webbwife50
    webbwife50 Member Posts: 394
    #19
    Options
    don't freak!
    Get yourself some antianxiety meds.,they help, and try to be gratefull! Life is precious and way to short, no matter how long you live. God bless and hugs to you..Alison
    I went through much of the same, as have many here. It'll be alright!
  • turquoisea
    turquoisea Member Posts: 14
    #20
    Options
    seof said:

    BRCA is one of many
    BRCA is one of many potential contributing factors. My Sister was a breast cancer survivor for 6 years, I am for 3 years so far, both negative. I had a double mastectomy, prophylactic on the left even though the Drs. said I only had 10% risk of spreading to other side and they did not deem it "medically necessary". Now that reconstruction is all done I look and feel just about like I did before (except for the "battle scars"). There are many options and the decisions are all yours to make because you are the one who has to live with the results. I found a book on the ACS online bookstore, "The Reconstruction Guidebook" that helped me a lot. I also looked on line on places like the Susan G. Comen website to see pics and info about surgery and reconstruction. This site is also a great place for the voice of experience.

    Best wishes on making a decision you will be happy with. seof.

    Thanks!
    Thanks Seof for sharing the info about "the reconstruction guidebook" I have been reading it and really provide great info..
  • shelbyhome
    shelbyhome Member Posts: 145
    #21
    Options
    In 2000 I was told that I
    In 2000 I was told that I had pre breast cancer and I had 2 lumpectomys and was on Tamoxifin for 5 years, I always said that if I ever found out that I had cancer that they could take them off, and in spite of it all this Feb. they found cancer in my right breast and had a bilateral because the Dr's all said it wasn't a matter of "if it shows up in the left, it is when" the pre cancer was in the left so I made that decision to have them both removed. The greatest saying I have ever seen is " Yea they are FAKE my real ones tried to kill me" I really feel that way and I am alive and doing well. It is a personal choice. I wish I had really looked at pics before I had reconstruction because I was a little upset after surgery only until it was explained that I lost projection but I am still the same size around as I was before however it does look different. I am happy that I am alive and I think of it as a small price to pay for life! I wouldn't look at it at first and my husband kept telling me it doesnt look as bad as I thought,he is my rock and gives me strenth. I wish you luck with whatever choice you make. Hugs:) Robbin

Discussion Boards