UPDATE: (I FOUND HER) cancer markers

cahjah75 said:

John sorry
to hear your mother's markers are not responding to treatment. I'm still in treatment and don't know what drs do other than try another cocktail. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
{[hugs}} Char

John_32 said:

Thank you all, and I will
Thank you all, and I will pass on the information about Faslodex also. My parents have lost their jobs, and now their home and health insurance at the same time, so this news about the cancer markers comes at the worst possible time. She thought it might have been because she just started taking the generic version of Arimidex, because it's cheaper, but the doctor says there is really no difference between the brand and the generic.

Someone also asked about my wife (triple negative stage 0 DCIS in Jan. 2009... stage 4 brain metastasis April 2010). She went to her parent's home during a psychotic reaction to the steroids she was on, and her parents have basically locked her up there and prohibited me from seeing her. She has been increasingly debilitated and dependent and can't really assert any kind of independence from them. Occasionally she has been able to sneak a brief email or phone call to me and that's it--but they scream at her if they catch her doing this. Her parents won't communicate with me at all through any means. The last time I heard from her was a month ago, and she sounded very weak, and said she had had a massive seizure and was in the hospital for more than 2 weeks; but then her mother caught her on the phone, began shrieking at her like a lunatic, and disconnected the line. I didn't even have a chance to ask any details about her condition-I just knew from her mother's screams that the line would go dead in a matter of seconds and I would only have enough time to tell her how much I loved her. I am very alarmed that I have not heard anything for a month, and I have been writing, and calling day after day but no one will speak to me or respond to me. So I am going to go up to Canada in the coming week, which is the week of our second wedding anniversary, and show up on their doorstep and try and see my wife. Her prognosis was extremely poor, the median survival rate is 4-6 months, and we're going into month 6, so I just hope she is even well enough to recognize me, if i am even able to get inside her parents' home.

sausageroll said:

Oh my!
John, my heart breaks for you. You are going through so much right now. All I can say, is you are in my thoughts!

John_32 said:

Thank you all, and I will
Thank you all, and I will pass on the information about Faslodex also. My parents have lost their jobs, and now their home and health insurance at the same time, so this news about the cancer markers comes at the worst possible time. She thought it might have been because she just started taking the generic version of Arimidex, because it's cheaper, but the doctor says there is really no difference between the brand and the generic.

Someone also asked about my wife (triple negative stage 0 DCIS in Jan. 2009... stage 4 brain metastasis April 2010). She went to her parent's home during a psychotic reaction to the steroids she was on, and her parents have basically locked her up there and prohibited me from seeing her. She has been increasingly debilitated and dependent and can't really assert any kind of independence from them. Occasionally she has been able to sneak a brief email or phone call to me and that's it--but they scream at her if they catch her doing this. Her parents won't communicate with me at all through any means. The last time I heard from her was a month ago, and she sounded very weak, and said she had had a massive seizure and was in the hospital for more than 2 weeks; but then her mother caught her on the phone, began shrieking at her like a lunatic, and disconnected the line. I didn't even have a chance to ask any details about her condition-I just knew from her mother's screams that the line would go dead in a matter of seconds and I would only have enough time to tell her how much I loved her. I am very alarmed that I have not heard anything for a month, and I have been writing, and calling day after day but no one will speak to me or respond to me. So I am going to go up to Canada in the coming week, which is the week of our second wedding anniversary, and show up on their doorstep and try and see my wife. Her prognosis was extremely poor, the median survival rate is 4-6 months, and we're going into month 6, so I just hope she is even well enough to recognize me, if i am even able to get inside her parents' home.

John_32 said:

UPDATE: I FOUND HER
I have spent the last hour calling every single hospital in the Toronto region. Finally, after numerous dead ends, I spoke my wife's name into another hospital's the automated patient service and was actually connected to a room. The line was picked up and her mother's voice was on the other end of the phone. I was shocked. Just to confirm, I asked, "Mrs. so&so?" She answered, "yes." I said, almost in disbelief, "this is john." And she hung up. I called the hospital again, the nurse's station and began to explain the situation, but the nurse cut me off and then put me on hold for about ten minutes. When she got back on the line, she said "I cannot give you any information." And I said, "But I am her husband." She repeated, "I have no information." She was about to hang up and then I asked for her name. She refused to provide her name. I said under the Ontario Family Act I, as her husband, am next of kin and entitled to information, at the very least to know the nurse's name. She again refused to provide her name, and hung up. I called again, she hung up on me. I called again, another nurse gave me the same routine, treating me like a criminal and hung up. I called again, this time asking up front for the nurse's name "in case we are disconnected" and the woman refused and hung up. THIS IS F***ING INSANE. Her parents, clearly, as soon as they realized I had tracked down my wife, informed the nurses that I was not to have any contact with her or get any information, and since they are such massive liars, probably even making all kinds of insane accusations against me just to ensure I do not get any information. AND I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT EVER SHOW LOVE AND CONCERN FOR MY WIFE AND TAKEN CARE OF HER SINCE THE MOMENT SHE WAS DIAGNOSED IN JANUARY 2009. The nurse said also she can't verify I am who I say I am, or verify that the woman whose name I have given as my wife is a patient there (even though that is OBVIOUS). So she couldn't verify what her own name was, or whether the person I was asking about was even a patient, or whether I was the person I was saying I was. Well, what can we verify then? I asked her. That the sun rose this morning? That the sky is blue??? Is this a hospital I am calling, or you can't verify that???

I am relieved that my wife is actually alive and that I have tracked her down despite all of her parents' obfuscation and lies. But the fact that she is hospitalized again is deeply troubling to me, or the thought that she has been determined incompetent and that her parent's have gotten power of attorney, even though that is MY RIGHT as her husband.

I am definitely going up there now that she is in a public hospital and I have legal access to her as her husband (I hope!). I have to find some way of getting an expedited copy of the marriage certificate as PROOF so these people at the hospital cannot treat me like this.

thanks for listening... just to had to write this down somewhere.