It has been one week

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junklady
junklady Member Posts: 88 Member
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Tough week, the days come and go so slow. It seems so surreal. I just can't believe he is gone. I am getting some strange vibes at night. I know it is him. The phone calls are overwhelming. I just listen to the messages. There is no way I can reply to all, maybe someday. I find myself just wandering around the house, trying to get motivated to do something. I am the type of person that was go, go, go all the time. Now, nothing. I'm sure time will heal that, but how long? Dale's remembrance service for the family will be at the end of the month at our home. There will be a separate gathering for friends to share memories. I am not looking forward to facing everyone. I sit here trying to figure out just how to get through that. My mind is just going in circles. I just had to share with you, my CSN friends, letting you know where in life I'm at. Thanks
Cynthia

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  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
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    Days
    The first few days and weeks are very hard. All of a sudden you are no longer the caregiver. The house feels empty. Most of the stress is gone, but now there is grief. Each of us deals with that grief in our own way. I find that talking with friends and family is good for me, but others will find other ways to deal. You will grieve in your own way and time, but you do need to let yourself grieve. I don't have any great words of wisdom. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I would recommend the grief and bereavement board. There are many there who have lost a spouse and have some understanding of where you are and what you are feeling. Now you must take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself, too. You deserve it. Prayers and hugs, Fay
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #3
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    As time passes it gets easier!
    The days I went through this after my husband died seemed endless. I didn't even answer the phone and couldn't wait for nighttime to come so I could go to bed. It's normal when you lose someone you love. It's going to be 6 months on the 25th. Believe it or not, it does get easier. We will never forget our husbands, and the day we lost them will always be a hard day to make it through, but we will make it.
    Just hang in there & do things when your ready. Don't let anyone force you into doing anything. "Carole"
  • ketziah35
    ketziah35 Member Posts: 1,145
    #4
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    i can not imagine
    I can not imagine what you are going through. I can only share things from my own experiences. When someone in my family leaves after a prolonged illness, we get together and send that caregiver on a trip. It is usually somewhere scenic, peaceful, and reflective . The caregivers in my family. Say it made them feel better to get away and concentrate on doing something for themselves before they attacked the paperwork. This may not be your cuP of tea, but I thought I would share.

    Regards,

    Ktz
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
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    Hello Cynthia
    Hello Cynthia (Junklady)
    Thank you for giving us your update. I have been thinking of you. You are feeling and doing all of the things a grieving wife, now widow does. I am sure Dale is looking over you always. I know what you are feeling with the overwhelming phone calls. We had that plus a lot of people stopping by with so much food! We had enough food for the whole week. It is wonderful, and in the same sense, after the first week, it all goes away. It is sad. I wish everyone would keep calling or stopping by. At least once a week or something. My mom is all alone now, it would be nice to have someone drop by just to see how she is doing. Oh well, such is life. You do the best you can at Dale's upcoming service. Cry as much as you have to, do not hold your feelings in. Share the memories of the good times, the laughter. Try not to dwell on the cancer and the suffering. We will all be there with you in spirit. We are always here for you. Take care and come visit us soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
    Tina

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