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New diagnosis....how fast to move

Posts: 6
Joined: Mar 2004

I lost my brother to melanoma in 2007 2 years after diagnosis. It was in his fingertip and the dermatologist diagnosed granuloma without doing a biopsy and sent him to a hand surgeon who treated it with silver nitrate for 6 weeks! Anyway, now I have another relative who had a biopsy of a spot on her shin that she had to persuade her dermatologist to biopsy. It's been there since 2007 and the dermatologist just biopsied it last week. It's melanoma (I don't know how deep) and without clear margins so she has to go back for excision. She had vacation (not far from home) planned and asked the dermatologist if it's ok to wait til she comes home in 2 weeks and the dermatologist said "no problem" to wait. I didn't say anything to her but my thought was, "why would you wait? get it off ASAP." That's what I would want. It's not like she's on a cruise. She's at a beach house not 60 minutes from her home. She could go for the excision and be back at the beach house in a couple hours. My question: am I being paranoid? Is it really okay for her to wait? I'm just very worried about her. I don't want to freak her out but if it MIGHT make a difference, I think she shouldn't wait. Should I say something to her?

Posts: 15
Joined: Jul 2010

I think you need to do what's in your heart. If it were me I'd say something but thats me. I lost my sister-in-law in April of 09 and found my husbands melanoma as he was getting ready for her funeral. She was watching from above!!! I think people feel that melanoma is no big deal. I personally didn't think it was until my sister-in-law was diagnosed and then I started on the research band wagon. (Probably why it was so easy to spot my husbands).
My husband procrastinated for a long time when he had to go back for the wide excision and I got really upset and then I had to stand back and let him make the decision on his own. (Trust me it was hard to stand by, wait and be supportive). Remember you can only suggest and maybe point out your concerns but you can't force her. Two weeks probably won't be bad, maybe it will help her wrap her mind around it and let it sink in. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

Posts: 15
Joined: Jul 2010

I also wanted to say I'm sorry for the loss of your brother.
Stay strong. :)

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