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A laugh to brighten your day!

Bigfuzzydoug's picture
Bigfuzzydoug
Posts: 154
Joined: Jul 2010

I'm new here and posted my story in an earlier thread. In it I mentioned that I went to Johns Hopkins on Friday. I was able to get an emergency appt. in only a day! How? Read on...

So I've got the General working on this for me as well. My late dad 'Bigfuzzydad' was a Captain in the Marines in WWII in the Pacific. Tough as nails but he was nothing compared to the General... that would be my mom. She is the epitome of the classic power Jewish mother. An old-school Jewish "yenta". She could run a small country by herself and isn't afraid to call you a putz to your face if it suits her. As a kid, you don't "grow up", you "survive childhood with as minimal therapy as possible". She molds boys into tough, hardened, mental and emotional warriors. It's the only way to survive. But there is a good side. This is a woman that actually thrives on crisis. When disaster strikes she goes into a mode the is truly something to behold.

If you think Google and the Internet is powerful, you have no idea what power and speed is. The Internet has nothing on... YENTA-NET! That's right, Jewish Yentanet. When I told my mom about my diagnosis, Yentanet went into high gear. From New York City to Miami, every "active seniors community", Hadassah, Sisterhood, grandmother and mother of a "nice Jewish dahctah" got called into action! Who and where is the best doctor to see? How do we gather the information we need?

Picture a seniors community clubhouse room filled with 100 retired Jewish yentas playing mah-jongg or canasta. One of them announces, "Oy! My son's been diagnosed with cancer!" And all 1000 grab their cell phones and start making calls to 10 people who make calls to 10 people and so on. Doctors are getting calls from their yenta mothers, "you see this boy this week and fix him!" The alternative would be death by Jewish mother-guilt.

And just like that, I got a call from Mom the next day, "Shirley's son works in the EPA and he's getting all the toxicology about DuPont. Abe's nephew is filing something in court to get some DuPont records. We can get you into Sloan Kettering, Johns Hopkins, Wake Forest, MD Anderson in Houston, Duke or Dana Farber at Harvard. My girls have got people placed in all of these hospitals. They say for this type, Johns Hopkins might be the place to go. Some of these places have a 4-6 week waiting list, but we're all certain we can get you in this week. Go look in to flights to Baltimore for Thursday."

Uhhhhhh... How does she do this?!

"So mom I can fly in, I guess I'll get a rental car and hotel. I need to figure out how and where to get checked in and..."
"NO! When you fly in, Bernie and Irene will pick you up. You'll stay at their place."
"Who are Bernie and Irene?"
"They're friends of... don't worry about it. It's complicated. Then Morty and Ruthie will come get you the next morning to take you to your appointment and get you checked in. Morty's a retired neurosurgeon there. Then they'll take you back to the airport."
"Uh... Who are Morty and Ruthie?"
"They're friends of... don't worry about it. It's complicated. Just do what they tell you."

So when I called to confirm things, the doctor's secretary says, "Oh man, so YOU'RE Doug!" "Um, I'm sorry if you got strong-armed," I replied. "It kind of wasn't me. Can I ask what happened?" "Let's just say that his mother called him and right after that he told me to clear Friday mid-day and book you. Don't mention it to him when you see him."

Yentanet! Fastest most powerful tool of the modern age! Working to cure my cancer! WOOT!

lady4darknight's picture
lady4darknight
Posts: 90
Joined: May 2010

Sorry you had to find your way here, but I LOVE your story. I wish you much luck and you have a place full of great people.
Debbie

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

Loved this story, it started my day with a smile. A mother's love can move mountains, no matter what your nationality ;-) Your mom sounds like a rock and you are definitely lucky to have such a strong woman on your side.

My best to you and your mom,
Glenna

CLRRN's picture
CLRRN
Posts: 127
Joined: Jun 2010

Your post definitely brightened my day. I will share with my partner (Mike) when he gets up. He's originally from NY (Long Island) and although he's not Jewish (Polish) he will LOVE it. I can totally appreciate the "yentanet". Do what it takes to get what you need. Right now, it's all about you and the best treatment to beat this nasty disease.

Mike is 6 weeks post treatment tomorrow. You will get through this too!!

Our pathology slides were also reviewed by JHU-and they concurred with Mike's treatment plan;he got treated at the local hospital in Annapolis, MD. We live about an hour from JHU.

Safe travels to your appointments.

Chris

JUDYV5's picture
JUDYV5
Posts: 392
Joined: Jun 2010

I love that story. I had a very similar experience. Not Jewish, – but a very powerful women. My sister-in-law notified her bible study group and I had an appt with the Oncology ENT the next morning at 6:30 am. Why that early, so he could see me before he started his day of surgeries. There was no one in the building - except the doctor and us. We had a vacation planned the next day and we wanted to go (needed to go) so he set me up for surgery the day we got back. When we came back during actual business hours the secretary said "Oh, you are the one"

Powerful women are amazing.

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2196
Joined: Nov 2009

Love it, Doug.

By the way, my neighbor's aunt's canasta partner wanted me to tell you the ladies in her group hope that you're meeting nice people on your csn internet support site.

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