Don't Know What to Think

Swissgirl
Swissgirl Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
It's my first time posting because I need the ears and support of those going through caregiving hell. My 72 year old father was diagnosed with poorly differentiated neuroendocrine carcinoma of the pancreas back in February of this year. He's been through the whipple procedure and 4 rounds of chemo (cisplatin and etoposide). As of today, his marker (chromogranin A) has been going up during chemo but his last scans haven't shown tumor progression. Everytime the marker goes up, I become a mess. Waiting for new scans results intensify these feelings of hopelessness.

I don't want to be a poor (negative looking) caregiver to my dad. When I dealt with my own cancer(s) 3 years ago, I wasn't an optomistic patient either. Thank God, I am 3 years cancer free. I am afraid that my dad will end up being more concerned about me.

Thanks for listening.

Comments

  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #2
    what a duo
    My, what a sad duo you and your father have become. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be a cancer survivor and a caregiver, too. How much courage is one person supposed to be able to muster, anyway?

    After helping see my father make his way to heaven via pancreatic cancer several years ago, and now caring for my mother with ovarian cancer, in both cases a turning point came when I let go of outcomes or expectations. Whatever a test or scan shows is fine, it's whatever it is. We have no control over those things, after all, and we have a pretty good idea of how the story will end since it's nature's way for parents to get old and die.

    I think it helps Mom to have one person who is accepting of everything. We take whatever comes, one day at a time.

    My Dad and I still talk now and then. You never lose a good papa. Keep that in mind when you feel that everything is hopeless.

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