12 year old told me she was bi sexual, do they know at that age?

lolad
lolad Member Posts: 670
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Oh dear sisters, My daughter Megan has been on punishment and to tell you the truth, i have enjoyed it. We sat out back last night by my garden of peace that i made up and we have actually talked to one another, which hasnt happened in a long time. She asked me if i would love her no matter what she told me. I said, i would love you even if you robbed a bank. I will love you no matter what you have to say or what you do in your life. Well, she flored me alright. She told me she was bi sexual. Which, if she truely is, than she is what she is. Ill still love her no matter what. I asked her if she knew what that really meant and she does. So, my question, is it possible, at 12 to actually know that you are bi? I just keep seeing this little girl running up to me picking her up from daycare. I guess i just dont know. Ill love her no matter what happens, or no matter what decision she makes. I just dont know if she is old enough to know truely what her sexuality is going to turn out to be. And one more thing, she told me she has had a girlfriend already.

HELP
Laura

Comments

  • Snowkitty
    Snowkitty Member Posts: 295
    I wouldn't make a big deal out of it
    At this age, kids are bombarded with too much information and "labeling." I remember being young and kind of experimenting (Gah! I hope my family isn't reading this) Grade school-ish age. It was just something you did. We all turned out "straight." No biggie. Remember playing doctor? Wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

    But, if one of my kids did come to me at an older age and said he was gay...it is what is is. My kid is my kid no matter what.

    Cindy
  • survives
    survives Member Posts: 254 Member
    Snowkitty said:

    I wouldn't make a big deal out of it
    At this age, kids are bombarded with too much information and "labeling." I remember being young and kind of experimenting (Gah! I hope my family isn't reading this) Grade school-ish age. It was just something you did. We all turned out "straight." No biggie. Remember playing doctor? Wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

    But, if one of my kids did come to me at an older age and said he was gay...it is what is is. My kid is my kid no matter what.

    Cindy

    Had the same experience
    My daughter told me she was "bi" when she entered college....she thought. However, she decided that that was a moment of confusion. She had been abused by a family friend earlier in the piece, and that probably pushed her over the edge for a bit.

    AT the age of ANYTHING I think kids get a sense of who they are. Mine was confused for awhile, but you know, dh and I never stopped loving this adorable child. She has been married for 10 years to a wonderful man who knows of her past history, and is at peace with it. That's all that matters.....we love our kids, we want them happy.

    AT the age of 12, you kiddo may be a bit confused...or could know right on. Either way, you'll work though this. It seems that you've started, and are an excepting and loving parent. What more could your children ask?
  • survives
    survives Member Posts: 254 Member
    Snowkitty said:

    I wouldn't make a big deal out of it
    At this age, kids are bombarded with too much information and "labeling." I remember being young and kind of experimenting (Gah! I hope my family isn't reading this) Grade school-ish age. It was just something you did. We all turned out "straight." No biggie. Remember playing doctor? Wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

    But, if one of my kids did come to me at an older age and said he was gay...it is what is is. My kid is my kid no matter what.

    Cindy

    Had the same experience
    My daughter told me she was "bi" when she entered college....she thought. However, she decided that that was a moment of confusion. She had been abused by a family friend earlier in the piece, and that probably pushed her over the edge for a bit.

    AT the age of ANYTHING I think kids get a sense of who they are. Mine was confused for awhile, but you know, dh and I never stopped loving this adorable child. She has been married for 10 years to a wonderful man who knows of her past history, and is at peace with it. That's all that matters.....we love our kids, we want them happy.

    AT the age of 12, you kiddo may be a bit confused...or could know right on. Either way, you'll work though this. It seems that you've started, and are an excepting and loving parent. What more could your children ask?
  • survives
    survives Member Posts: 254 Member
    Snowkitty said:

    I wouldn't make a big deal out of it
    At this age, kids are bombarded with too much information and "labeling." I remember being young and kind of experimenting (Gah! I hope my family isn't reading this) Grade school-ish age. It was just something you did. We all turned out "straight." No biggie. Remember playing doctor? Wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

    But, if one of my kids did come to me at an older age and said he was gay...it is what is is. My kid is my kid no matter what.

    Cindy

    Had the same experience
    My daughter told me she was "bi" when she entered college....she thought. However, she decided that that was a moment of confusion. She had been abused by a family friend earlier in the piece, and that probably pushed her over the edge for a bit.

    AT the age of ANYTHING I think kids get a sense of who they are. Mine was confused for awhile, but you know, dh and I never stopped loving this adorable child. She has been married for 10 years to a wonderful man who knows of her past history, and is at peace with it. That's all that matters.....we love our kids, we want them happy.

    AT the age of 12, you kiddo may be a bit confused...or could know right on. Either way, you'll work though this. It seems that you've started, and are an excepting and loving parent. What more could your children ask?
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    survives said:

    Had the same experience
    My daughter told me she was "bi" when she entered college....she thought. However, she decided that that was a moment of confusion. She had been abused by a family friend earlier in the piece, and that probably pushed her over the edge for a bit.

    AT the age of ANYTHING I think kids get a sense of who they are. Mine was confused for awhile, but you know, dh and I never stopped loving this adorable child. She has been married for 10 years to a wonderful man who knows of her past history, and is at peace with it. That's all that matters.....we love our kids, we want them happy.

    AT the age of 12, you kiddo may be a bit confused...or could know right on. Either way, you'll work though this. It seems that you've started, and are an excepting and loving parent. What more could your children ask?

    I dont know if you had seen
    I dont know if you had seen an earlier post a couple of days ago about my now ex boyfriend or not. But when you mentioned that she had been abused by someone, i froze and my heart dropped. She told me that he did something to her too and i am going to take her to childrens to be evaluated if she ever gets out of bed. She told me this info last night as well, so maybe she just doesnt want anything to do with any boy right now, which is totally understanding. This AS* forced me when i shouldnt have done anything because i had just had a total hysterectomy and my dr even said four more weeks because my vaginal cap wasnt healed. Im starting to see a connection and some light on how she is feeling. Im so glad you replied. I feel blessed too that she was able to come and talk to me about it. All my kids talk to me and i tell them that i will never judge you. I might be dissapointed with them on something, but will always love them. Thank you again so much!!!

    Laura
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    lolad said:

    I dont know if you had seen
    I dont know if you had seen an earlier post a couple of days ago about my now ex boyfriend or not. But when you mentioned that she had been abused by someone, i froze and my heart dropped. She told me that he did something to her too and i am going to take her to childrens to be evaluated if she ever gets out of bed. She told me this info last night as well, so maybe she just doesnt want anything to do with any boy right now, which is totally understanding. This AS* forced me when i shouldnt have done anything because i had just had a total hysterectomy and my dr even said four more weeks because my vaginal cap wasnt healed. Im starting to see a connection and some light on how she is feeling. Im so glad you replied. I feel blessed too that she was able to come and talk to me about it. All my kids talk to me and i tell them that i will never judge you. I might be dissapointed with them on something, but will always love them. Thank you again so much!!!

    Laura

    Great mom :) How great that
    Great mom :) How great that your kids know they can talk with you about anything. There are so many parents out there who aren't there for their kids when it comes to that sort of thing.
    It may be a phase, she may be confused, may be from the abuse, or even a combination of all these things. Just be there for her and keep assuring her that you'll love her & still be her mom no matter what. I have a 9 yr old daughter myself and we also have a very open communication & she knows she can talk to mom about anything.
    *God bless and big hugs to you and your daughter*
    Heather
  • mrs gadget
    mrs gadget Member Posts: 118

    Great mom :) How great that
    Great mom :) How great that your kids know they can talk with you about anything. There are so many parents out there who aren't there for their kids when it comes to that sort of thing.
    It may be a phase, she may be confused, may be from the abuse, or even a combination of all these things. Just be there for her and keep assuring her that you'll love her & still be her mom no matter what. I have a 9 yr old daughter myself and we also have a very open communication & she knows she can talk to mom about anything.
    *God bless and big hugs to you and your daughter*
    Heather

    How neat that she is opening up to you...
    Like everybody else has said, I would'nt worry about this. She could be testing you just to see how you will react. My son tried to tell me he as gay about a year ago. He now has a girlfriend and chuckles every time he and I talk about this. He said he was just considering an alternative life style because he didn't think a nice girl could possibly interested in him. She'll be just fine and keep having those open conversations with you. Those talks will work miracles as she gets older.
  • survives
    survives Member Posts: 254 Member

    How neat that she is opening up to you...
    Like everybody else has said, I would'nt worry about this. She could be testing you just to see how you will react. My son tried to tell me he as gay about a year ago. He now has a girlfriend and chuckles every time he and I talk about this. He said he was just considering an alternative life style because he didn't think a nice girl could possibly interested in him. She'll be just fine and keep having those open conversations with you. Those talks will work miracles as she gets older.

    lolad
    Is there a way to private message here?
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    survives said:

    lolad
    Is there a way to private message here?

    Yes, go to 'home',
    PM choice

    Yes, go to 'home',
    PM choice is under 'connect'. Your inbox will have a choice of 'write a new message'.
  • survives
    survives Member Posts: 254 Member
    Marcia527 said:

    Yes, go to 'home',
    PM choice

    Yes, go to 'home',
    PM choice is under 'connect'. Your inbox will have a choice of 'write a new message'.

    Thanks, Marcia,
    appreciate your help!! Lolad, message has been sent.