Thanks and update

lolad
lolad Member Posts: 670
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I replied on my original post, but wanted to start a new one so i can clear things up. I first of all, called my dr today and am going to see him tomorrow. Im not bleeding anymore, but have abdominal pain especially when i walk. I broke up with my boyfriend and it was hard i cant lie about that. But when this happened, he knew i couldnt have sex and he was drunk later that evening and i told him no and fought with him about it because he said i would be fine. The day before this happened i had an appointment with my dr and he told me my vagina cap(?) was still not healed and absolutely no sex for four more weeks. My boyfriend said he waited long enough and wasnt waiting anymore. I fought him and tried to get away, but i lost. I did tell him NO! Im just embarrassed and ashamed that i let this happen. I should have left his house when the argument started. I seriously didnt think he would do that to me. Im so sad and hate myself for this. Thanks to all my precious sisters who responded. Now, how do i get past feeling so stupid.

Take care
Laura

Comments

  • jk1952
    jk1952 Member Posts: 613
    #2
    You've done all the right
    You've done all the right things since Saturday night, so please forgive yourself. Go forward with your head held high and concentrate on the future, not the past.

    Joyce
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    #3
    Gosh Laura
    He raped you. I would do more than break up with him.

    I am so so sorry this happened to you. This is NOT your
    fault. Who in their right state of mind would expect something
    like this from the man they love.

    I feel really bad for you and hope the pain will go away soon. No
    one has the right to touch your body without your consent. Please
    don't blame yourself. You had enough on your plate and that
    selfish SOB needed not to add to your pain.

    Too bad you are not in AZ, I would love to let him have it.

    Thank you for trusting us with this. Take good care of yourself, you hear!

    Ayse
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #4
    Don't be embarrassed, don't be ashamed
    be proud of yourself that you did the right thing. Even though breaking up is hard, none of this is your fault. Don't underestimate your worth, dear sister. You deserve (as we all do) to be treated like the Goddess that you are! Hang in there.

    Hugs, Renee
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #5
    One thing we do NOT do, is
    One thing we do NOT do, is blame the victim! And it sure sounds to me as if you were overpowered, emotionally and physically~which opens up a whole other set of issues.

    I am glad you called the Dr! Your physical health comes first and foremost! I know you will now do whatever he says, and take whatever meds necessary to make sure you heal!

    Your emotional healing will also come! You are NOT NOT NOT stupid! You are an amazing woman, fighting this damnable beast, and dealing with relationships and the ripple effect of being a human being!

    If you noticed, nowhere did any of us ever suggest that you were at fault~ the sisters kept saying HE was the insensitve one who needed to be thrown out! And of course it is hard, and you probably agonized over the decison, but you did the brave thing!

    Look in the mirror and say "I am NOT stupid, I am strong!" And say it every time you see your reflection, and when you lay your head on your pillow tonight! And more than that~ believe it! Because it's true!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • QuiltingMama123
    QuiltingMama123 Member Posts: 124
    #6
    You have nothing to be
    You have nothing to be ashamed of, although that is hard to believe now. I cannot tell you how sorry this has happened to you. I am a fellow date rape survivor(32 years ago), and that is EXACTLY what happened to you. When you said no, that should have been the end of the discussion. He is the ***, not you. Don't fill your head with what you should have done. He should not have forced himself on you.

    I hope the dr. appointment goes well. You deserve nothing but good things.You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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