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Dad has been DX with Lymphoma, now what

WinneyPooh's picture
WinneyPooh
Posts: 318
Joined: Jul 2009

I have been pretty overwhelmed the past month, my dad been dx with lymphomia( second time for him, 10 years or so ago he had lymphomia, the same time i did). and history repeats it self,

Not sure how to react, I was just coming to grips with the fact that i will die from this cancer one day, and reading some recent post, i know it will be a certianty,

my heart goes out to louanne, peter and kimby, and all others who are really suffering know.

I am so lost, not sure how to handle all this pain, and saddness,

my husband is also going thru alot of pain and test for his illness and he has lost the will to live, Not sure how to handle that?

So what am i suppose to do?

Winnie

hoya1973's picture
hoya1973
Posts: 37
Joined: May 2010

So very sorry to learn of the dx with you and your father and with your husband's illness. Prayers are being sent your way to assist with your situation. We are all mortal and have a limited time on earth. My hope is your time will be pain free and as pleasant as possible with good news and support coming your way.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Winnie,

I am sorry you are overwhelmed; you have a lot on your plate. I am sorry for your Dad's diagnosis + also that your husband is in pain + I hope he will feel better soon. I am sorry, I don't have answers for your questions. I hope someone else can provide better help. I don't know if you are talking to a counsellor, but sometimes that is a help when we are overwhelmed. I am not sure you can know what you will die of. Of course I don't know all of the details of your situation, but I believe that the only certainty is that all humans will die of something. I hope tomorrow will be a brighter day for you. Trying to take things one day at a time has been helpful for me when I feel overwhelmed - sometimes easier said than done! I am really glad you posted this, because someone will help you. I wanted you to know I am thinking of you + have only good wishes for you.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Winnie

Overwhelmed is an accurate desciption of what you've got going on right now. Anybody would be, it just gets to be too much - little time to rest before tackling even huger issues than before. When will it end, right?

Sometimes, it is just best to succumb to the tidal wave of emotions and just let the waves crash - hold your breath and then resurface and give it another go. As we get older, it just seems like there is more responsibility and no downtime factored in any longer.

While we always try and take care of others, you must remember to save yourself, because if you don't, you can't rescue anybody else, and the ship takes on even more water.

Your husband is probably going through his grief cycle as well - and with both of you dealing with so many emotions, things can grind to a stand still. But, just hold the line - don't try to advance yet, just hold steadfast until you gather the momentum to move forward again.

Your husband may come around in time, but if not, then counseling or some meds may be the solution in the interim, as others have mentioned above.

Very sad that your Dad is ill again as well - he's versed in what he did before, so even though it won't be easy, he knows what he is up against.

Sounds like you got too many folks to take care of, so you won't be leaving here anytime soon:)

I know it has not been an easy road for you, but you really have done well with things since I've known you.

No magic words here will do - just roll with these punches and hang on.

-Craig

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2123
Joined: Oct 2009

Gosh you sure have had a rought time of it. Your plate is way too full. Hopefully, you have some family around to help with Dad. Right now, as hard as it may seem, you must be #1. You are deep in the fight for your life. I'm sorry all this that is happening in your life, all at once and I am sure you are overwhelmed. I'm sorry.

Hugs Tina

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6715
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear of your father being ill again and your husband. You have every right to feel overwhelmed and not sure what to do. Hope that all of you have a lot of support to help and let them. You have you to take care of and that is a lot of responsibility. Hoping that things get better for all of you.

Kim

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

Re:
".....I was just coming to grips with the fact that i will die from this cancer one day,
and reading some recent post, i know it will be a certainty......"

No it won't be a certainty; it may not even be a near miss, either.
You might get stuck in the elevator and starve to death.

Seriously, you can't predict the future; no-one can. If it were possible,
you would have known before they told you that you had cancer cells
growing, that you had one growing.

And you can't predict when your body will decide to get rid of
the cancer cells by itself either... so please.. stop worrying and start living.

You have a lot of life to get through, and it'd be easier to get through
it by fixating on what you want to get done, and enjoying the progress
of doing it.

Cancer is getting a free ride for now, but not forever.

And as far as family, friends, and us leaving this earth?

We all will one day or another, and we won't want to go when
our time comes, regardless when it comes. But dying is part of
living, and we can't do one without the other; we are mere mortals
and we forget that too, too easily.

Make life today the best you can, and tomorrow do the same.
Things have a way of working out......

Best wishes for ya'll.

John

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

John,

I like your comments + advice!

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5065
Joined: Feb 2008

Dear Winnie,

I'm so sorry you have such a heavy burden right now. It does seem unfair.

When things overwhelm me, I pray. If you're not religious, I would suggest getting out to a park or somewhere very lovely and quiet and just take some deep breaths and try to relax.

*hugs*
Gail

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

Winnie,

As everyone has said you are going through a lot, and it does not seem fair. Your in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you can take whats being sent your way a day at a time. And keep talking to your family on here.

Hugs again
Sonia

Runforlife
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2010

My thoughts and prayers are with you, I'm so sorry for your suffering. God Bless

newperson's picture
newperson
Posts: 76
Joined: Mar 2010

Winnie, Sorry you have to go through all these. It's way too much. May you get strength from God. Sending best thoughts, wishes and positive energy your way.

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