Breathe....Breathe

dmdwins
dmdwins Member Posts: 454 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
OK I am totally freaking out this week. Can't eat or sleep... just trying to function day to day. My CT scan is Monday. I purposely scheduled it after my daughters birthday(tommorrow) and Mother's Day in case the news was bad. I Hate having SCANxiety but this time it is over the top. I was Stage 4 October 2007. This is my 2 1/2 year from DX scan ... have been NED since 11/2008.

Would appreciate any Prayers you are willing to offer.

Thanks,
Dawn

Comments

  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #2
    I will
    I will be praying that everthing turns out ok,and that you are still NED.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #3
    I will
    I will be praying that everthing turns out ok,and that you are still NED.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #4
    I will
    I will be praying that everthing turns out ok,and that you are still NED.
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #5
    Like you said remember to
    Like you said remember to breathe. That being said that is a hard thing to do, lets face it this is scary stuff we are dealing with. Dont let the "fear" of the scan cloud the wonderful things you have coming up this week, rejoice and try to keep the rest of it in the back ground. I will certainly send prayers, good vibes, and positive thoughts your way this week and on the day of the scan. I know it is easier said then done but, try not to look for trouble that isnt there yet or may not come at all, it really is a waste of energy.
    greybeard
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #6
    The Best to You - Always:)
    Hi Dawn

    Always the dreaded "what if", huh?

    But there's no reason to think anything has changed - you've been 16 months clean with nothing but clear skies ahead:)

    It's always in the back of your mind though, even when you tell yourself it's probably OK - just another piece of luggage we have to carry around - but I feel like you will be ok.

    Sounds like you did the right thing with your scheduling - have a nice b'day with your daughter tomorrow - and enjoy mama's day too:)

    Look forward to hearing the results - may peace and blessings find you well.

    -Craig
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #7
    Sundanceh said:

    The Best to You - Always:)
    Hi Dawn

    Always the dreaded "what if", huh?

    But there's no reason to think anything has changed - you've been 16 months clean with nothing but clear skies ahead:)

    It's always in the back of your mind though, even when you tell yourself it's probably OK - just another piece of luggage we have to carry around - but I feel like you will be ok.

    Sounds like you did the right thing with your scheduling - have a nice b'day with your daughter tomorrow - and enjoy mama's day too:)

    Look forward to hearing the results - may peace and blessings find you well.

    -Craig

    Dawn........
    as a survivor and 2 years out also there is nothing that we can do about scans outcome, but we can do something about beforehand. To not allow this to control us...You are NED and until someone tells you that you aren't then you are. So enjoy your life that NEDness is suppose to give us...a new respect and vitality for living. don't let simple scans ruin your day, they're only scans, they are just as apt to be great scans as they are bad so don't borrow trouble, its always right around the corner for us, lets don't invite it in....Love ya, and you'll be just fine, Clift
  • thready
    thready Member Posts: 474
    #8
    Scanxiety
    Dawn,
    I am right there with you! I scan on Monday also. I have been absolutely wacko today. I know it is hard but we just have to keep telling ourselves we can get through this. I have tried to keep myself busy (well that is not working to good) but I will try. I am glad this weekend is a "holiday" with mothers day etc because that will add some variety to the weekend and it will give me time to escape. Just to mention I am a IIIB-or C depending on who you ask and this is my first scan since I finished treatment (Had one before treatment started but that is it.)

    I am going to crank up some music and hit the treadmill, or put on the headphones and go for a walk, always helps.

    I will be praying that you are again NED-and forever to stay that way!!!!
    Take care
    Jan
  • dmdwins
    dmdwins Member Posts: 454 Member
    #9
    thready said:

    Scanxiety
    Dawn,
    I am right there with you! I scan on Monday also. I have been absolutely wacko today. I know it is hard but we just have to keep telling ourselves we can get through this. I have tried to keep myself busy (well that is not working to good) but I will try. I am glad this weekend is a "holiday" with mothers day etc because that will add some variety to the weekend and it will give me time to escape. Just to mention I am a IIIB-or C depending on who you ask and this is my first scan since I finished treatment (Had one before treatment started but that is it.)

    I am going to crank up some music and hit the treadmill, or put on the headphones and go for a walk, always helps.

    I will be praying that you are again NED-and forever to stay that way!!!!
    Take care
    Jan

    Thank you
    Thank you all for your kind replies. Logically all those things make sense...but cancer doesn't make sense most times ... so it still gets to me especially around scan time. Just worry about the girls..you know?

    Thanks for letting me get it off my chest though..even just sharing my feelings and thoughts to people I KNOW understand has made me feel better.

    Thanks for being there,

    Dawn
  • AllieC
    AllieC Member Posts: 17
    #10
    Happy Mother's Day
    Praying for continued NEDness lots of good distractions this weekend!
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #11
    Dawn,
    I wrote you a long post and then my connection failed.

    What I wanted to tell you is that I was nervous about my CT scan a few weeks before the scan but the actual day of my scan, I almost dozed off twice! Total peace. I'd been listening to a wonderful song that lists some names of Jesus and was having trouble getting four of them in the right order. As the tech was getting me situated, I began saying the names in my head and just kept working on getting them right, like on the CD, and felt so calm. All of a sudden I hear the computer voice say 'Take a deep breath and hold it.... nnnnnnnnnnoooooooowwwwwwww. You may breathe normally'. That happened a couple of times. Maybe something like this will help you. I'm going to be praying for YOU to have only wonderful reports, too.
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #12
    Thinking of you
    Thinking of you and sending prayers your way. I'm in scanxiety mode, too -- mine is Friday. Let's both (all) be clear and spread the joy! Love, Tara
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #13
    Dawn
    Dawn,

    I'm thinking of and praying for you- I'm there with you, also getting a scan done, but before the weekend. It's so consuming, I know, to think how getting a scan and the results can affect us so very much. I'm hoping my Mother's Day will be feeling upbeat with the results (should get Friday). I will be thinking of you- there are a few of us getting scanned all within a couple of days of each other, so there should be several of us reporting in our scan results soon.
    You take care and know you're not alone in this.

    Hugs,
    Lisa
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    #14
    Dawn
    Prayers for you. Enjoy your daughters birthday and mothers day as much as you can. Scanxiety is no fun. Breathe breathe just as you say.
    Marie

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