Caregiver/survivor/caregiver-anybody else out there do both?

I'm sure that I'm not the only person to have done this. I was mom's primary caregiver during her whole 20+ year battle. She had thyroid cancer, ovarian, then metastasis to other areas. Dad was there but he's not a medical guy at all. Mom died in Dec 2003. I was diagnosed in May of 2004 with endometrial cancer. Luckily I had surgery only and have done fine since then. Sure, there's small things but nothing I can't live with. I never understood when mom would talk about waiting for tests and how awful it was. Now I truly understand how she felt. Anyway, I've been plugging along, doing Relay for Life, getting checkups, etc since then.

Last year, dad was diagnosed with a couple of melanomas. They were taken off, no big deal and we went on. In March, he was having problems with arm pain and got to the point where he couldn't hardly use his right arm. We had gone to the doctor several times and ER as well. We were told it was arthritis, torn bicep, torn rotator cuff, but nobody really knew and it kept getting worse. He was scheduled to see an Ortho doc on Friday but was so miserable on Thursday that I took him back to the ER. Doc there finally did an MRI since we were going to Ortho in the AM. Came in and kept saying, it's not good. I finally told him he needed to be more specific and he said it was cancer. I was truly blindsided on this one. Turns out the tumor was in the bone(but not bone cancer)and had actually broken the bone along with eating about 50% of it. He's had surgery and starts radiation in the AM. It's adenocarcinoma with unknown primary site although there are a few spots here and there that could be cancer.

Anyway, so much for making a long story short:-) I am now his primary caregiver as well and it's really brought up so many thoughts/feelings that no one in my family would even begin to understand. I'm worrying that mine could come back. I too have some small spots that have been checked over the years but now I'm going to go get a repeat CT to make sure they haven't changed. It just seems so much harder this time than it was with mom. I can't tell you the last day that I didn't cry at least once. I just wondered if there were others that have been on both sides and if so, how did it make you feel? Thanks!
PS I forgot to mention that my dog has cancer too and it's the same kind as dad's. pretty weird I know.