Single Mom with stage four breast cancer
Comments
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Hi RJ -
I am so glad you found us, but not for why you are here. I am so sorry that you have to go through this again. I cannot help you with the nails, during my chemo my nails were fine, but there are many wonderful women on this site who will help you with that, and in many other things - mostly we are here for you to come and vent. Welcome to our little family of loving, caring, sisters.
Hugs - Pat0 -
So sorrypadee6339 said:Hi RJ -
I am so glad you found us, but not for why you are here. I am so sorry that you have to go through this again. I cannot help you with the nails, during my chemo my nails were fine, but there are many wonderful women on this site who will help you with that, and in many other things - mostly we are here for you to come and vent. Welcome to our little family of loving, caring, sisters.
Hugs - Pat
I am so sorry. Reading of a recurrence of bc is so disheartening. This is a great support group and I hope you find some help here in battling the beast again. Sending you prayers and hugs!
Leeza0 -
I read that it can come back
I read that it can come back even with a mastectomy. If all the stray cancer cells aren't caught they can grow. That's why they give us chemo and radiation to try and get all they can. I can't remember the details of what I had read because I was diagnosed in 2003. I'm sorry it came back.
As for the nails, I was told to put a sealant on them. Ask your onc nurse or doctor. They told me a sealant seals the holes that are made in the nails by the chemo.
Don't worry about your daughter. Maybe helping you is what she wants to do. Hang in there. Hugs.0 -
I know exactly how you feel.
I know exactly how you feel. I have 3 kids, 24, 22, and 9 and Im single (again!
) My mobility is about 30% cant bend over cant carry heavy things. My son and his wife moved back in with me to help me out. My daughter and her 2 daughters have moved back in too. I just cant make it alone. I've thought about hiring someone to live here to do it ALL but I dont like the idea of someone I dont know living with me.....
Just wanted you to know you wernt alone. I know how you feel!!!0 -
Unfortunately, bc can comeMarcia527 said:I read that it can come back
I read that it can come back even with a mastectomy. If all the stray cancer cells aren't caught they can grow. That's why they give us chemo and radiation to try and get all they can. I can't remember the details of what I had read because I was diagnosed in 2003. I'm sorry it came back.
As for the nails, I was told to put a sealant on them. Ask your onc nurse or doctor. They told me a sealant seals the holes that are made in the nails by the chemo.
Don't worry about your daughter. Maybe helping you is what she wants to do. Hang in there. Hugs.
Unfortunately, bc can come back with a mastectomy. So many think that it can't and that isn't right. I had a lumpectomy and then had radiation to kill any stray cancer cells.
Let people and family help you. This is horrible that you have to go thru this again and you need all of the love and support you can get.
Take care!0 -
I am so sad that you have to go thru this againpinkflutterby said:I know exactly how you feel.
I know exactly how you feel. I have 3 kids, 24, 22, and 9 and Im single (again! ) My mobility is about 30% cant bend over cant carry heavy things. My son and his wife moved back in with me to help me out. My daughter and her 2 daughters have moved back in too. I just cant make it alone. I've thought about hiring someone to live here to do it ALL but I dont like the idea of someone I dont know living with me.....
Just wanted you to know you wernt alone. I know how you feel!!!
But I am very happy that you have support - Your daughter's senior year will be filled with many things but none are more important to her than her mother - she knows this and I bet if you ask, she will tell you that she knows this and I'm sure she won't want you to feel guilty (even though we all feel way too much guilt! Hey - it's a mom thing!) Talk to her like the almost adult that she is, I'll bet you'll be wonderfully surprised by her insights...
As far as the nail thing, I too have had issues but mostly with my toe nails - my doctor said it was okay to "just cover them up with pretty polish" so I don't have to look at them - check with your doctor, but keep in mind that pretty polish goes a long way to making us feel better about an ugly side effect...
Health and happieness to you and yours...0 -
So Sorry.....
I am so sorry that you are going through this again......Sadly, bc can return even wtih a mastectomy...And I know it's hard to stay positive when you've been through this once...As for your nails, I was warned before chemo started to try and take extra good care of them but NO professional manicures or pedicures, due to risk of infection......I used SALLY HANSEN TRIPLE STRENGTH....I got mine at Walgreen's......it's about $5.99..IT's a green bottle....I used it faithfully. My nails had ridges and some discoloration but honestly they were incredibily strong.....I would actually have to cut or file them down....After finishing chemo last Aug, they are finally normal, still very strong! Some one suggested keeping them polished, that's what I did........My toenails actually were worse....yuk! And still are pretty ugly, but I just keep them polished......went from my "winter red" to my spring BRIGHT PINK!
I am so glad that you have such a wonderful support group....our children surprise us, don't they? Let them help, it's what they want to do....they have a sense of helplessness and helping and doing things for you, is helpful to them, as they can't "fix this."
I Pray that God gives you the strength and courage to fight this nasty beast, yet again.
Hopefully, knowing that others truly do care, may it bring you some small comfort at this time...We've walked your mile.....
Peace be with you,
Nancy0 -
It can come back. Never ignore a growth nor a symptom.
I had 0 Stage DCIS in my right breast. I was extremely aggressive and chose bilateral mastecomy with breast reconstruction. Mastectomies were performed July 2006. All margins were clear and 2 sentinenal lymph nodes were free of cancer.
October 1, 2009 a tiny growth on the scar of right breast ended up being invasive carcinoma. (I am classified as very rare for recurrence - in the 1% category for recurrence) No further cancer detected from MRI, Bone Scan, and CT Scan. Bear in mind that microscopic cancer can only be detected by a microscope. That is why radiation, chemo, and the 5-year chemo pill are recommended once the cancer in invasive.
When I was told that it was cancer and invasive, I was shocked and then said that one cancer cell got away. That is probably what happened to you...one cell got away.
Even though we have a mastecomy we still maintain a very small amount of breast tissue beneath our breast skin. That is probably were that lone cell went before I had the mastecomy.
Don't worry about your daughter. She'll be fine. You are her mother and I know that she loves you. I had to help my mother for many, many months when I was a child and then again when I was a teenager. I turned out fine and never begruded the help that I gave my mother. No one can ever take the place of a mother. I learned from my grandmother that once a mother, always a mother. And right now you are concerned about her...you are being a mother. However, let's focus on you and getting you better.
You stated that you are a strong person and a positive person. Your strength and postive attitude will help you with this second-time-around cancer. But don't forget to seek us out when you need to cry, to vent, to be angry, to find solace, to seek warmth, to seek compassion, to seek knowledge. No one can relate to a cancer person better than another cancer person. Post when you need us. We are all here to help one another.
Lots of Love and Lots of Hugs,
Janelle0 -
Your daughter loves you andSunnieC said:I am so sad that you have to go thru this again
But I am very happy that you have support - Your daughter's senior year will be filled with many things but none are more important to her than her mother - she knows this and I bet if you ask, she will tell you that she knows this and I'm sure she won't want you to feel guilty (even though we all feel way too much guilt! Hey - it's a mom thing!) Talk to her like the almost adult that she is, I'll bet you'll be wonderfully surprised by her insights...
As far as the nail thing, I too have had issues but mostly with my toe nails - my doctor said it was okay to "just cover them up with pretty polish" so I don't have to look at them - check with your doctor, but keep in mind that pretty polish goes a long way to making us feel better about an ugly side effect...
Health and happieness to you and yours...
Your daughter loves you and that is why she is helping you! That is the way it should be. Isn't that what family is all about? Let her or anyone else help you. You will need it. Just take care of yourself and fight the beast with everything you can! Good luck!0 -
My heart goes out to you
rjporter: Dear girl, my heart goes out to you. How difficult things must be for you right now and how amazing your children must be! We never know what life is going to throw at us - and how we're going to find it in ourselves to deal with it but we do! It sounds as though you are a believer and that your God is holding you in His hands at this time as He promises he will. I have heard that cancer can return at the mastectomy site in 2-4% of cases. Being just 7 months past initial diagnosis, the thought of a recurrence is a scary thing but I suppose it's just like the initial diagnosis and you just make up your mind to get all revved up again toward kicking cancer butt! A lot of the gals on this site have talked about things that they've done for their nails including creams and lotions - some just keep filing them down. I guess the good thing to keep in mind is that if the hair and nails are being affected, we know that the chemo is doing what it's supposed to be doing - killing the cancer cells. I will pray for you, dear one, that you will be strengthened in the fight.
God bless you!
Beth0 -
I am so sorry for what isBethInAz said:My heart goes out to you
rjporter: Dear girl, my heart goes out to you. How difficult things must be for you right now and how amazing your children must be! We never know what life is going to throw at us - and how we're going to find it in ourselves to deal with it but we do! It sounds as though you are a believer and that your God is holding you in His hands at this time as He promises he will. I have heard that cancer can return at the mastectomy site in 2-4% of cases. Being just 7 months past initial diagnosis, the thought of a recurrence is a scary thing but I suppose it's just like the initial diagnosis and you just make up your mind to get all revved up again toward kicking cancer butt! A lot of the gals on this site have talked about things that they've done for their nails including creams and lotions - some just keep filing them down. I guess the good thing to keep in mind is that if the hair and nails are being affected, we know that the chemo is doing what it's supposed to be doing - killing the cancer cells. I will pray for you, dear one, that you will be strengthened in the fight.
God bless you!
Beth
I am so sorry for what is happening to you. We are here for you always. Nails, I found Sally Hanson hard as wraps. Working good for me.0 -
So Sorry
Before my mastectomy they said I wouldn't need radiation. After my mastectomy they said I definately need radiation because it was in all 4 quadrants. They said it was they were afraid that their was other cancer cells even though I had clean margins. They wanted to kill all the little buggers.
Did you have radiation the first time?
Your daughter will be happy she spent this time with you even though it many be hard for her. She will be glad she was part of your successful treatment plan.
Hang in there, Trudy0 -
WELCOMETurnerIII said:blank
blank
rjporter,
My hear goes out to you. I am glad that you found us. Please stay positive and focus on your treatment. You have been taking care of your children since your pregnancy, now they are helping you to get through and win the battle. It is ok let them do it for you and feel proud that love to do it. Having a big supportive family is a blessing.
Hugs
New Flower0 -
I am sorry too. ReadingNew Flower said:WELCOME
rjporter,
My hear goes out to you. I am glad that you found us. Please stay positive and focus on your treatment. You have been taking care of your children since your pregnancy, now they are helping you to get through and win the battle. It is ok let them do it for you and feel proud that love to do it. Having a big supportive family is a blessing.
Hugs
New Flower
I am sorry too. Reading these posts are so sad and puts that little bug in our ear that it does and can happen to us again. I pray that you will fight your cancer this time with everything inside of you. Stay strong!
Sue
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boy that sucks rj. i too am
boy that sucks rj. i too am a single mom with breast cancer, but this is my 1st go round. i had no idea this could even happen after a mastectomy!! which i had and chemo and radiation. i am so sorry. thank goodness your daughter is helping. my oldest was simply too busy. hang in there. god sure works in mysterious ways.0 -
Me too
I too was diagnosed with recurrent invasive breast cancer in March which came back 2 years after I had a mastectomy with reconstruction (no chemo, no radiation - first time - doctors said I didnt' need it). I was so angry, especially at the doctors - I felt like they left me down by not getting it all the first time or by not recommending radiation to make sure it didn't come back. I just am having a hard time trusting my doctors. I should have looked for new ones this time around, but I live in a small town and there is really only one practice in town. They've always had an excellent reputation, but when something like this happens, you just can't help but doubt their expertise.
Hang in there. My prayers are with you.0 -
This is a wonderful, supportive site.linpsu said:Me too
I too was diagnosed with recurrent invasive breast cancer in March which came back 2 years after I had a mastectomy with reconstruction (no chemo, no radiation - first time - doctors said I didnt' need it). I was so angry, especially at the doctors - I felt like they left me down by not getting it all the first time or by not recommending radiation to make sure it didn't come back. I just am having a hard time trusting my doctors. I should have looked for new ones this time around, but I live in a small town and there is really only one practice in town. They've always had an excellent reputation, but when something like this happens, you just can't help but doubt their expertise.
Hang in there. My prayers are with you.
I'm so sorry you are going through this but I'm glad you have a loving family to help you. I know you feel guilty about your daughter but I know she doesn't resent being there for you. This is what we all do for those we love.
There is another website you may find helpful. It is breastcancer.org. They have broken down topics to cover differents situations. They have one specifically for Stage IV survivors which may help you with some of your concerns.
Hugs.
Roseann0 -
I am sorry that you have hadroseann4 said:This is a wonderful, supportive site.
I'm so sorry you are going through this but I'm glad you have a loving family to help you. I know you feel guilty about your daughter but I know she doesn't resent being there for you. This is what we all do for those we love.
There is another website you may find helpful. It is breastcancer.org. They have broken down topics to cover differents situations. They have one specifically for Stage IV survivors which may help you with some of your concerns.
Hugs.
Roseann
I am sorry that you have had a recurrence. My heart goes out to you and your family. Family is just that, family, loved ones that want to help you. So, accept your daughter's help and fight the cancer with all of the strength that you have. My husband, my family and my friends were my rock thru my battle with bc. Allow them to help you too.
Praying for you!0 -
Dear RJ, my heart goes out
Dear RJ, my heart goes out to you and your family. This is a difficult time in your life, but I am glad you have your family there with you. I will say a prayer for you all.
BL0
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