My father Dave- stage IV

jessicalla
jessicalla Member Posts: 29
edited March 2014 in Esophageal Cancer #1
Dear Jane, Sherri, Lori, and William,

I started out by trying to reply to each of you individually but I got overwhelmed. I think I'm mostly overwhelmed by the care and support each of you has offered me. I am so very grateful. All of this is new territory for me and I am very appreciative of the information and your sincerity.

My father is stage IV, I think IVb, because they have found it in his lower esophagus and liver. We have an appointment with a thoracic doctor at The James Cancer Hospital at the Ohio State Univ. tomorrow morning. So far we have had a CT scan, endoscopy, MRI, and biopsies done. Last Monday, exactly one week ago, my dad, Dave, had a dizzy spell and thought he was having a heart attack. At the hospital, they discovered very low blood pressure and a high white blood cell count. After bloody stool, they realized there was internal bleeding and did an endoscopy. We thought it would just be an ulcer and were shocked when the doctor told us the news. The biopsy came back as adenocarcinoma. They did a CT scan and a further MRI where they found a spot on his liver. A needle biopsy of the liver revealed cancer there as well.

My dad is such a wonderful man. The most honest and morally driven man I know. He puts everyone before himself. He has drank very, very little and has never smoked but did have recurring heartburn in the past. Since going on a low fat diet a number of years ago, he hasn't had any acid reflux. I guess it was too late. My mom is 58, I am 29, and my brother is 26. We are all on Team Dave and are going to be there for him every step of the way. We love him so very much.

Thank you again for simply caring and taking the time to read this!!!
Jessica

Comments

  • Lylesmyprince
    Lylesmyprince Member Posts: 130
    #2
    Hi Jessica,
    My name is Susie. My husband, Lyle, was diagnosed with Stage 3, or T3N1M0, esophageal cancer on January 28th. He is 54 years old, never smoked, never drank, and has only had acid reflux the last year or so, that he knows of. This cancer doesn't seem to have to have a reason to strike a person! We will certainly add your family to our EC prayer list! Many blessings...and please...bookmark every moment together...they can last forever! My newest bookmark is yesterday I had to take Lyle to the hospital due to pain, vomitting, and dehydration. While we were in the emergency room waiting for his room upstairs...he stood up, motioned me over, and danced with me. Precious things I will hold dear to my heart for all of my lifetime! Please do the same!!

    Susie
  • jessicalla
    jessicalla Member Posts: 29
    #3
    Lylesmyprince said:

    Hi Jessica,
    My name is Susie. My husband, Lyle, was diagnosed with Stage 3, or T3N1M0, esophageal cancer on January 28th. He is 54 years old, never smoked, never drank, and has only had acid reflux the last year or so, that he knows of. This cancer doesn't seem to have to have a reason to strike a person! We will certainly add your family to our EC prayer list! Many blessings...and please...bookmark every moment together...they can last forever! My newest bookmark is yesterday I had to take Lyle to the hospital due to pain, vomitting, and dehydration. While we were in the emergency room waiting for his room upstairs...he stood up, motioned me over, and danced with me. Precious things I will hold dear to my heart for all of my lifetime! Please do the same!!

    Susie

    Hi Susie
    Susie, you gave me chills. The image of you two dancing in the emergency room is so touching. I am bookmarking every moment together...I've always been a sentimental person...but now this is a whole new level. I am so sorry that your husband was diagnosed with this disease. It's just not fair. You both are in my thoughts and prayers...thank you so much for sharing and for offering me support.
    Jessica
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #4
    Best of Luck
    Hi Jessica,
    I think I replied to you last week, not sure. I am Tina. I live in Virginia. I was a caregiver for my dad, Ray, 71, dx with ec in November 08. He had six weeks of radiation and chemo. He did oral chemo, Xeloda. He did very well. Hardly had any side effects. In January 09 he had a pet scan that showed the tumor had shrunk. He was in remission. In December 09 he was still having some problem with swallowing, dr advised to have dilation done. Had dilation done, found a lot of scar tissue, had to come back for another dilation. In between dilations, he developed severe pain in his right side, became jaundice, was constipated. Went to dr, had ultra sound done to right side, liver and gall bladder. Gall bladder fine, liver showed lesions. Also showed that the bile duct in his liver was blocked. Admitted into hospital for 8 days. He was dehydrated, anemic, and jaundice. Received iv fluids, 2 units of blood, had a stent put in the blocked bile duct, and a stent put in the esophagus to open it more due to the scar tissue. Came home December 23. Esophagus was much better, still had pain in right side. MRI showed lesions on liver, dr. was sure the lesions were cancer. Started oral chemo, xeloda again, this time around, he had all the side effects. He was much sicker taking the chemo. Only could do 30 days of chemo. He was very weak, very tired, lots of pain. He had to take pain meds every 12 hours. He was on morphine and oxycodone. These made him totally out of it, but out of pain. This was no way to live. He had no quality of life.
    The drs wanted him to do another month of chemo. There was no way he could have. We had to give him our blessing and tell him it was ok for him to stop and give up. As soon as we gave him our blessing, he passed away peacefully at home on 3/9/10.

    Phew! Now my story is a long one! On to your story....you are all on the right track. Get it checked out right away, get the scans, get the tests, get it treated. Your dad is also younger, this is to his advantage. The younger you are, the better you can handle the treatments, surgery, etc. Will he be having surgery? You have "Team Dave" that is wonderful. You need a real big, strong support team. Stay positive, have a strong faith, ask lots of questions, write your answers down, keep a daily journal, come to this site often. Know that we here on csn are also on "Team Dave" and on "Team Jessica"! Prayers will be being said daily for all of you. Keep us updated. This cancer can be beat!
    Tina
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
    Lylesmyprince said:

    Hi Jessica,
    My name is Susie. My husband, Lyle, was diagnosed with Stage 3, or T3N1M0, esophageal cancer on January 28th. He is 54 years old, never smoked, never drank, and has only had acid reflux the last year or so, that he knows of. This cancer doesn't seem to have to have a reason to strike a person! We will certainly add your family to our EC prayer list! Many blessings...and please...bookmark every moment together...they can last forever! My newest bookmark is yesterday I had to take Lyle to the hospital due to pain, vomitting, and dehydration. While we were in the emergency room waiting for his room upstairs...he stood up, motioned me over, and danced with me. Precious things I will hold dear to my heart for all of my lifetime! Please do the same!!

    Susie

    Lyle the Prince
    Dear Susie,
    Oh how sweet! I had to reply to your post. That is one of the sweetest things I have heard in a long time. He is such a romantic! How did he make out in the hospital? Thinking of both of you. You are both such an inspiration.
    Tina
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #6
    Lylesmyprince said:

    Hi Jessica,
    My name is Susie. My husband, Lyle, was diagnosed with Stage 3, or T3N1M0, esophageal cancer on January 28th. He is 54 years old, never smoked, never drank, and has only had acid reflux the last year or so, that he knows of. This cancer doesn't seem to have to have a reason to strike a person! We will certainly add your family to our EC prayer list! Many blessings...and please...bookmark every moment together...they can last forever! My newest bookmark is yesterday I had to take Lyle to the hospital due to pain, vomitting, and dehydration. While we were in the emergency room waiting for his room upstairs...he stood up, motioned me over, and danced with me. Precious things I will hold dear to my heart for all of my lifetime! Please do the same!!

    Susie

    Lyle the Prince
    Dear Susie,
    Oh how sweet! I had to reply to your post. That is one of the sweetest things I have heard in a long time. He is such a romantic! How did he make out in the hospital? Thinking of both of you. You are both such an inspiration.
    Tina
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #7
    Lylesmyprince said:

    Hi Jessica,
    My name is Susie. My husband, Lyle, was diagnosed with Stage 3, or T3N1M0, esophageal cancer on January 28th. He is 54 years old, never smoked, never drank, and has only had acid reflux the last year or so, that he knows of. This cancer doesn't seem to have to have a reason to strike a person! We will certainly add your family to our EC prayer list! Many blessings...and please...bookmark every moment together...they can last forever! My newest bookmark is yesterday I had to take Lyle to the hospital due to pain, vomitting, and dehydration. While we were in the emergency room waiting for his room upstairs...he stood up, motioned me over, and danced with me. Precious things I will hold dear to my heart for all of my lifetime! Please do the same!!

    Susie

    Lyle the Prince
    Dear Susie,
    Oh how sweet! I had to reply to your post. That is one of the sweetest things I have heard in a long time. He is such a romantic! How did he make out in the hospital? Thinking of both of you. You are both such an inspiration.
    Tina
  • K_ann1015
    K_ann1015 Member Posts: 500
    #8
    Lylesmyprince said:

    Hi Jessica,
    My name is Susie. My husband, Lyle, was diagnosed with Stage 3, or T3N1M0, esophageal cancer on January 28th. He is 54 years old, never smoked, never drank, and has only had acid reflux the last year or so, that he knows of. This cancer doesn't seem to have to have a reason to strike a person! We will certainly add your family to our EC prayer list! Many blessings...and please...bookmark every moment together...they can last forever! My newest bookmark is yesterday I had to take Lyle to the hospital due to pain, vomitting, and dehydration. While we were in the emergency room waiting for his room upstairs...he stood up, motioned me over, and danced with me. Precious things I will hold dear to my heart for all of my lifetime! Please do the same!!

    Susie

    Susie & Jessica,
    My mom did
    Susie & Jessica,

    My mom did this with my dad---at a time that he really wasn't feeling well after surgery or chemo (I forgot which), but a favorite slow song of his came on and my mom asked if he "wanted to dance". She said he said yes-got up gingerly and and danced with her in their living room!

    When my mom was telling me this story on our last visit, she said to me quietly.... "He was very slow, but it was nice and one of those times that I got very teary-eyed".


    I plan to start Susie's "bookmark" approach TODAY with ALL of my family.

    Thanks Lyle & Susie! Oh and so glad you decided to get the feeding tube---it is not as bad as you must have thought... God Bless you TWO! and all on this site....

    Kim
  • dragonflymom
    dragonflymom Member Posts: 46
    #9
    Hi Jessica,
    I'm so sorry you
    Hi Jessica,

    I'm so sorry you have been welcomed into this world. However, this place is great and will bring you some comfort.

    My mom was diagnosed with stage IVA EC. She thought it was heartburn but after an endoscopy we were told it was a tumor. She has done chemo and radiation and currently has telescoping stents in her esophagus and trachea. She is only 55 and this is her second battle with cancer. Her first was twelve years ago with leukemia. I have a sister who is 30 and a brother who is 26. I am 33. I have been with my mom through some of the toughest times with this disease. Although it's hard, you will make it through. Stay strong and try to be positive, it really does help. My mom swears that is how she beat her first cancer (that and the bone marrow transplant). She perservered and did everything and anything to keep her spirits up.

    Take care and keep us posted,
    Amy
  • Ellie_E
    Ellie_E Member Posts: 50
    #10
    Welcome, Jessica
    Hi Jessica, my name is Ellie and my husband Jim was dx last September with EC IVb adenocarcinoma. He has mets to lymph nodes from his neck to his pelvis and a few mets to his liver. Jim is 60 and I am 57. He has always been extremely healthy but did have acid reflux. We have two sons, 34 and 31, and 3 beautiful grandsons. At first, we thought Jim was having gallbladder trouble so when the dr. told us it was Stage IV EC we couldn't speak or even breathe. It felt like we were in an alternate universe. The chemo he started with was Epirubicin, Oxalyplatin, and Xeloda. He is now on Cisplatin and Irinotecan. His attitude is amazing! He goes to work everyday between chemo treatments and has decided he will continue to live his life and take care of cancer on the way! Your dad is lucky to have such a caring daughter, your love will give him strength to fight this beast. Our sons have been our rocks, so we know the power of a child's love. Our prayers are with you and your family.

    Ellie
  • jessicalla
    jessicalla Member Posts: 29
    #11
    Ellie_E said:

    Welcome, Jessica
    Hi Jessica, my name is Ellie and my husband Jim was dx last September with EC IVb adenocarcinoma. He has mets to lymph nodes from his neck to his pelvis and a few mets to his liver. Jim is 60 and I am 57. He has always been extremely healthy but did have acid reflux. We have two sons, 34 and 31, and 3 beautiful grandsons. At first, we thought Jim was having gallbladder trouble so when the dr. told us it was Stage IV EC we couldn't speak or even breathe. It felt like we were in an alternate universe. The chemo he started with was Epirubicin, Oxalyplatin, and Xeloda. He is now on Cisplatin and Irinotecan. His attitude is amazing! He goes to work everyday between chemo treatments and has decided he will continue to live his life and take care of cancer on the way! Your dad is lucky to have such a caring daughter, your love will give him strength to fight this beast. Our sons have been our rocks, so we know the power of a child's love. Our prayers are with you and your family.

    Ellie

    hi Ellie
    Hi Ellie,
    Your story sounds very similar to ours. Thank you for sharing. My prayers are with you and your family- please keep us updated on your husband Jim. Enjoy these special moments with your loving family.
    Jessica
  • jessicalla
    jessicalla Member Posts: 29
    #12
    update
    We went to The James cancer hospital at OSU today and were told what I was fearing...it will be chemo and radiation, with the hopes that my dad will have two more years with treatment. I know these days and months are going to fly by...I feel like this is a bad dream. We pray that my dad will respond well to treatment and will be around for as long as possible. This is the time to cherish one another.
  • jessicalla
    jessicalla Member Posts: 29
    #13
    Tina Blondek said:

    Best of Luck
    Hi Jessica,
    I think I replied to you last week, not sure. I am Tina. I live in Virginia. I was a caregiver for my dad, Ray, 71, dx with ec in November 08. He had six weeks of radiation and chemo. He did oral chemo, Xeloda. He did very well. Hardly had any side effects. In January 09 he had a pet scan that showed the tumor had shrunk. He was in remission. In December 09 he was still having some problem with swallowing, dr advised to have dilation done. Had dilation done, found a lot of scar tissue, had to come back for another dilation. In between dilations, he developed severe pain in his right side, became jaundice, was constipated. Went to dr, had ultra sound done to right side, liver and gall bladder. Gall bladder fine, liver showed lesions. Also showed that the bile duct in his liver was blocked. Admitted into hospital for 8 days. He was dehydrated, anemic, and jaundice. Received iv fluids, 2 units of blood, had a stent put in the blocked bile duct, and a stent put in the esophagus to open it more due to the scar tissue. Came home December 23. Esophagus was much better, still had pain in right side. MRI showed lesions on liver, dr. was sure the lesions were cancer. Started oral chemo, xeloda again, this time around, he had all the side effects. He was much sicker taking the chemo. Only could do 30 days of chemo. He was very weak, very tired, lots of pain. He had to take pain meds every 12 hours. He was on morphine and oxycodone. These made him totally out of it, but out of pain. This was no way to live. He had no quality of life.
    The drs wanted him to do another month of chemo. There was no way he could have. We had to give him our blessing and tell him it was ok for him to stop and give up. As soon as we gave him our blessing, he passed away peacefully at home on 3/9/10.

    Phew! Now my story is a long one! On to your story....you are all on the right track. Get it checked out right away, get the scans, get the tests, get it treated. Your dad is also younger, this is to his advantage. The younger you are, the better you can handle the treatments, surgery, etc. Will he be having surgery? You have "Team Dave" that is wonderful. You need a real big, strong support team. Stay positive, have a strong faith, ask lots of questions, write your answers down, keep a daily journal, come to this site often. Know that we here on csn are also on "Team Dave" and on "Team Jessica"! Prayers will be being said daily for all of you. Keep us updated. This cancer can be beat!
    Tina

    thanks Tina
    Tina,
    Thank you for your support and for sharing your story. I wrote an update below. The doctor did not suggest surgery. I am so sorry you lost your father to this awful disease...and it was so recently. My heart breaks for you. I'm sending warm thoughts and prayers your way as well.
    Jessica
  • jessicalla
    jessicalla Member Posts: 29
    #14
    dragonflymom said:

    Hi Jessica,
    I'm so sorry you
    Hi Jessica,

    I'm so sorry you have been welcomed into this world. However, this place is great and will bring you some comfort.

    My mom was diagnosed with stage IVA EC. She thought it was heartburn but after an endoscopy we were told it was a tumor. She has done chemo and radiation and currently has telescoping stents in her esophagus and trachea. She is only 55 and this is her second battle with cancer. Her first was twelve years ago with leukemia. I have a sister who is 30 and a brother who is 26. I am 33. I have been with my mom through some of the toughest times with this disease. Although it's hard, you will make it through. Stay strong and try to be positive, it really does help. My mom swears that is how she beat her first cancer (that and the bone marrow transplant). She perservered and did everything and anything to keep her spirits up.

    Take care and keep us posted,
    Amy

    thanks Amy
    Amy,
    Your mother...only 55! It's just not fair...battling this disease twice. How scary for you and your siblings. What are the telescoping stents in her esophagus and trachea for? I'm fearful of what's to come for my dad. Right now he feels fine and I just wish it could stay that way. I know he will do everything he can to fight this, like your mom. What an inspiration.
    Take care and keep us posted as well!
    Jessica
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #15
    jessicalla said:

    update
    We went to The James cancer hospital at OSU today and were told what I was fearing...it will be chemo and radiation, with the hopes that my dad will have two more years with treatment. I know these days and months are going to fly by...I feel like this is a bad dream. We pray that my dad will respond well to treatment and will be around for as long as possible. This is the time to cherish one another.

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Trish_from_Pittsburgh
    Trish_from_Pittsburgh Member Posts: 56
    #16
    Let's All Join "Team Dave"!
    Jessica,

    Welcome to this site! When you come here, we are ALL family, everyone of us!

    I love your "Team Dave" idea! Can I join, too? I think we all want to be members of your team. Sign me up....I'm here for support for you and your whole family.

    Keeping you all in my prayers....

    Hugs & prayers,
    Trish (member of "Team Dave")
  • jessicalla
    jessicalla Member Posts: 29
    #17
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    thank you Sherri
    Sherri, what wonderful advice, knowledge, and support you offer. I have copied, pasted, and emailed your reply to my family. Sherri, it does look like your husband and my dad do have very similar situations...we are in this together...we will fight this!!

    Jessica
  • jessicalla
    jessicalla Member Posts: 29
    #18
    Trish_from_Pittsburgh said:

    Let's All Join "Team Dave"!
    Jessica,

    Welcome to this site! When you come here, we are ALL family, everyone of us!

    I love your "Team Dave" idea! Can I join, too? I think we all want to be members of your team. Sign me up....I'm here for support for you and your whole family.

    Keeping you all in my prayers....

    Hugs & prayers,
    Trish (member of "Team Dave")

    Hi Trish
    Hi Trish! Thank you for joining Team Dave!!! Thank you for your kind spirit and words of support. I'm on your and Roy's team, too!!!!

    Hugs and prayers to you as well,
    Jessica

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