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can you tell me why I did this???

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

so this morning was my ct scan....we skipped the Dec one because surgeon is starting to worry about radiation but i had CEA's in Dec and they were low. So today my best friend's son is the radiologist and I know he's there a hall away from the ct room and I could walk over and say....please read this for me. but I didn't I walked out....and now I'm home and fussing and kicking myself....why????
scared? stupid don't want to knwow? all of those?

mags

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2153
Joined: Mar 2010

Feeling funny about taking advantage of the friendship, and not knowing the information, or whether he would have been willing to read it for you.

I'm lucky - my surgeon has me come directly to his office post-scan, and he reads it while I'm there. Sure cuts down on the scanxiety!

Good luck! I hope you have a clean read (and soon!)

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

The scan will be fine and you will just have missed a few days of celebrating! Did you just forget to walk down the hall or were you afraid it would be an imposition? If it were me, I would have just forgotten and walked out the door! Major memory issues here! Of course, scared and don't want to know would fit me as well! :)
mary

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

I didn't forget....I couldn't breathe....this is the man who told me about both cancers to the liver....I just couldn't take it...as you say mary....too many issues and memories

thready's picture
thready
Posts: 475
Joined: Sep 2009

I think a lot of us would have done the same thing as you did. I would have walked out also because I would not have wanted to know. I have scans in about 5 weeks. I an already scared to death, and I really don't want to pass on any bad news to my family. I would rather keep my head in the sand, but then I think-wait what if and most likely I will be NED so why would I not want to know, but if I'm NED then it won't matter if I know or not, but if I know then I could stop worrying-and this keeps going on and on and on.

All this would be easier if we could turn off the brain.

Hope all is well
Jan

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

that darling boy, that radiologist just phoned me and I am NED

NED NEDDIE NEDDY

mags...sorry a little enthusiasm

TxKayaker's picture
TxKayaker
Posts: 177
Joined: Jun 2009

Congratulations wishing many more clear scans.

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Mags,

I am SOOOO happy for you. I'll bet you felt a heavy load lifted from your shoulders, huh?

Keep the enthusiasm going. Celebrate!!

-Pat

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

Great news Mags!! When you get to that cabin you'll have to do the NED dance.

Life is funny sometimes
Brooks

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

Naked Happy Dance!
mary

CanadaSue's picture
CanadaSue
Posts: 340
Joined: Apr 2006

Mags,

That is the greatest news!

You dance girl, you deserve it!

((((hugs)))

Sue

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

That is so wonderful to hear... I know you are so excited....I am so happy for you...

*HUGS*
Beth

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm just thrilled!! I'm soooooooo happy (for BOTH of us!)

Big hugs, my friend!
Diane

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

:)

No worries...

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

I have this cottage on a island up north that looks over at Detour Michigan....I spend most winters dreaming of being there....and 3 summers there recovering from surgery and doing chemo. It is very primitive...no running water, no heat no washroomm....one year I was one chemo and the washroom was a sawhorse balanced over a pit in the ground with a tarp on top for rainy days....lordie...lots of trips to the pit

soooo each year I wonder if I will see the cabin again and yes it seems I will.....

mags

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Mags,

I am so happy for you + so glad you got the news so quickly! Enjoy + celebrate! I think you will be seeing this cabin for many years!

khl8
Posts: 810
Joined: Nov 2009

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!So Happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!

grammadebbie's picture
grammadebbie
Posts: 456
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Mags,

What great news. So happy for you. Hope the cabin is ready cause it sounds like you will be on your way soon.

Blessings and Big Hugs,

Debbie (gramma)

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

Just about started a tsunami sending poitive waves across the pacific. See there is a lot to be said for not stepping on the cracks. The secret to my long survival is refusing to make a will. I doubt if any of us does not have a secret ritual to ensure a good result. Hugs again ,enjoy that cabin sounds nice,Ron.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5061
Joined: Feb 2008

I can understand why you didn't want to go and ask him, but I'm SO glad that you got the call that all is well. Lovely!

*hugs*
Gail

mom_2_3
Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

I am so happy to hear of your clean scan! Now go and enjoy your spring and summer!!!

JR's picture
JR
Posts: 140
Joined: May 2009

Great job Mags. Don't worry, be happy.

John

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Mags,

I'm glad I kept scrolling down and reading- so glad he called you and gave you the all clear news- yeehah!!

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Mags,
Your beautiful and wonderful and NED!!!!!!!! Ah yes!!!!! I am smiling from ear to ear for you my friend!

Aloha,
Kathleen

coloCan
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2009

ecstatic mite be more appropriate.....Trek to yiour cabin and enjoy yourself from here on out....Another disease bites the dust....FU cancer..........steve

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

I would like to be gone right this instant but I have CEA's in June and then onc to look at those results in late June. Last year after chemo the car was literally packed to the brim for the cottage and we walked out of the hospital and into the car and DROVE away....

later today I will post some more pics of my special place....it has an outhouse!!! now :)

really fancy.....hahhaha

thoughts for greybeard now........

mags

Steve Z's picture
Steve Z
Posts: 51
Joined: Sep 2009

Great news! Enjoy the cabin you deserve all the happiness you get this summer.

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

All that fuss and worry for nothing. I am so glad you are NED! Congratulations!

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

and what about you Mr. Rick? do you have a solution to those lowdownnogood fussings and worries????/ share!!!!!

mags

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

i recommend hugs. That pretty much works for me. And visits with my grandson.
Odd that this week I got less than encouraging results from my CT scan, my wife has gone on a road trip with her sisters and I saw my daughter, her husband and my grandson off at the airport their move to Colorado. So none of my usual remedies are available to me. When I find what else works, I'll let you know. Tonight I am thinking tequila or maybe some red wine, since that at least is supposed to be good for me. I am not generally a melancholy sort of fellow so I am not sure of the right remedy for extreme cases, but as I said - I intend to find several and will let you know what works. I hate drinking alone so perhaps a gastric feast - seafood I think, sea bass perhaps. Or maybe a nap, but I fear short term it helps, but long term it makes things worse.

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

Rick I am so sorry if I missed your post about your CT....

I won't be so bold as to ask but I am so sorry if you have had bad news

mags

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

Mags, Not to worry, I just got the results today and have not seen my oncologist yet (he picked a fine time for a vacation). It is all probably nothing to worry about, but I will have to wait for his interpretation and probably more test results for something conclusive. I have projects to finish but no desire for them atm. So, I am thinking some good tequila and some jazz or classical music will pick up my spirits - maybe even a margarita or two. It has just been made apparent to me how much I have depended on my wife as a lifeline since finding out I had cancer.

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

yes Rick I understand that....I depend so much on my hubby...just to bounce worries and thoughts and emotions around with. It's crappy that DW and onc are away at same time.

I also totally identify with the projects and lack of enthusiasm for....hard to focus , hard to concentrate. OK babes put on the Wolf
gang or the Dizzy and do whatcha gotta do....better things ahead....you are just going to have to wait a moment....

hugs....pm me if you want to talk

mags

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

{{ Hugs}} from me too. I am not one to give advice seeing as I was in a dark hole myself only yesterday but I'd say put on some lively music ( not the melancholy crap )and one frozen Margarita sipped slowly.Come down here...my hubby is famous for his frozen peach Margaritas...Jose Cuervo, dash triple sec, dash Amaretto, peaches, nice fresh lime slice all in a salt rimmed glass.Just trying to make you smile.

So sorry your onc had to go on vacation right now.Hope he has a sucky time ;)

-Pat

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

drinking a nice margarita now - no fresh peaches, but i like the idea and have plenty of preserved ones which should taste yummy. And you know I have a lime too!
I hope my onc has a great time - I want him clearheaded when he gets back.

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