my sister has breast cancer that has metastized to brain and lungs

trabrat
trabrat Member Posts: 10
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My sister is 49 yrs old, was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer last yr. had chemo, rad and mastectomy with 13 positive lymph nodes. well in August she started having headaches, dr said miagraines and gave her meds. she called me and said the meds dont help and would be crying.
long story short.... on Christmas eve she had cat scan of head and chest d/t coughing. 7 tumors on brain and 5 in lung. rad done on brain.. started her on Xeloda and it was unsuccessful. All treatments stopped b/c it has spread to liver and other lung. she is having a hard time coping. I am here in FL with her, have been for 3 months taking care of her. I am an LPN. now she is hoarse, tired all the time, having back and hip pain. I feel so bad for her.
Please put her in your prayers to find comfort and peace.
«1345

Comments

  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #2
    I am so sorry to read your
    I am so sorry to read your story of your sister. I'm sending strength and caring thoughts your way. You are a wonderful sister to put your life on hold to care for her. There is someone always on this site so please come back for support. We'll be here to help you through this journey. Take care and sending ((((hugs)))) to you!
  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    #3
    I Took Care of My Sister Who Had Lung Cancer
    My younger sister Janice was diagnosed with 4th stage lung cancer in January and passed away in April - twelve years ago. She was 54 years old. Her cancer metastized to her brain and bones. I did all my crying while she lived and did not cry when she passed away as her pain was uncontrollable the last week of her life. I was thankful that she no longer had the pain I was there for her, just as you are there for your sister. In those four months I did everything I could think of to make her feel special like a Princess and to make her comfortable. I bought her pretty floral bed linen. I bought her pretty nightgowns that were soft against her skin. I had special creams for her legs and feet to make them feel good. I bought her special face cloths, wash cloths, and soft towels. I had special scented soap for her. Whatever she wanted to eat or drink, I provided. I contacted her friends who came to visit her. We got her affairs in order. We discussed how she wanted her estate to be handled. We talked and talked about our lives. Most important we were honest with one another.

    I prepared mentally for her passing. She entered Hospice in my home two weeks prior to her death. I hired a woman Olga to help us in those Hospice weeks. My husband, Olga, and I were a team caring for her. You need to have someone help you to give you a break. I made a chart of all her medications and posted it on our refrigerator. Whoever gave her one of her meds recorded it on the chart so all 3 of us knew when and what medication was given to her.

    One is prepared to handle the death of one's parents but it is a different story with a sibling. You never expect to outlive your younger sibling.

    I have told you what I did for my sister in the hope that there are some things that appeal to you that you may want to do for your sister.

    Not only will I pray for her, but I will also pray for you. Please know that to give yourself to your sister in her final months is a wonderful thing to do for a love one. God bless both of you.
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #4
    MyTurnNow said:

    I am so sorry to read your
    I am so sorry to read your story of your sister. I'm sending strength and caring thoughts your way. You are a wonderful sister to put your life on hold to care for her. There is someone always on this site so please come back for support. We'll be here to help you through this journey. Take care and sending ((((hugs)))) to you!

    This is so sad. I am very
    This is so sad. I am very sorry that this has happened to your sister. You are a great sister to help her as you are. Sending you both prayers and big hugs!

    Sue :)
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691
    #5
    It is very sad. On Sunday,
    It is very sad. On Sunday, a beloved friend and grandfatherly figure passed away due to stomach cancer which had metastized in his liver. The last two weeks he was at home in Hopsice and there really wasn't much we could do for him, other than ensure his comfort and sit at his bedside. I was also very concerned about his wife and daughters who were taking care of him around the clock, working and going to school. We (myself and other friends) brought over food because they just didn't have time to cook and we ran errands for them. As a care taker you need to make sure you take care of yourself and enlist help in whatever way you can. It is not easy for the caretakes particularly when they are family.

    You sister will be in my prayers.
  • Mama G
    Mama G Member Posts: 762
    #6
    Different Ballgame said:

    I Took Care of My Sister Who Had Lung Cancer
    My younger sister Janice was diagnosed with 4th stage lung cancer in January and passed away in April - twelve years ago. She was 54 years old. Her cancer metastized to her brain and bones. I did all my crying while she lived and did not cry when she passed away as her pain was uncontrollable the last week of her life. I was thankful that she no longer had the pain I was there for her, just as you are there for your sister. In those four months I did everything I could think of to make her feel special like a Princess and to make her comfortable. I bought her pretty floral bed linen. I bought her pretty nightgowns that were soft against her skin. I had special creams for her legs and feet to make them feel good. I bought her special face cloths, wash cloths, and soft towels. I had special scented soap for her. Whatever she wanted to eat or drink, I provided. I contacted her friends who came to visit her. We got her affairs in order. We discussed how she wanted her estate to be handled. We talked and talked about our lives. Most important we were honest with one another.

    I prepared mentally for her passing. She entered Hospice in my home two weeks prior to her death. I hired a woman Olga to help us in those Hospice weeks. My husband, Olga, and I were a team caring for her. You need to have someone help you to give you a break. I made a chart of all her medications and posted it on our refrigerator. Whoever gave her one of her meds recorded it on the chart so all 3 of us knew when and what medication was given to her.

    One is prepared to handle the death of one's parents but it is a different story with a sibling. You never expect to outlive your younger sibling.

    I have told you what I did for my sister in the hope that there are some things that appeal to you that you may want to do for your sister.

    Not only will I pray for her, but I will also pray for you. Please know that to give yourself to your sister in her final months is a wonderful thing to do for a love one. God bless both of you.

    my sister's story is the same as your sister's
    She had triple neg with no nodes and had 2 free years before it struck back, like lightning,
    brain and lungs. They radiated her brain but while that was going on it grew in her bones.
    She lasted about 6 mos, but they were miserable. It breaks my heard. I was with her for the last week (she was in California and I'm a Florida girl) so it wasn't easy, but we talked every single night. I miss her so much. She died on Dec 14th. I hope your sister has better response to the meds. They say chemo works on triple neg but unfortunately it was too late for my sister. After the brain rads she was too weak. You have my prayers.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #7
    Mama G said:

    my sister's story is the same as your sister's
    She had triple neg with no nodes and had 2 free years before it struck back, like lightning,
    brain and lungs. They radiated her brain but while that was going on it grew in her bones.
    She lasted about 6 mos, but they were miserable. It breaks my heard. I was with her for the last week (she was in California and I'm a Florida girl) so it wasn't easy, but we talked every single night. I miss her so much. She died on Dec 14th. I hope your sister has better response to the meds. They say chemo works on triple neg but unfortunately it was too late for my sister. After the brain rads she was too weak. You have my prayers.

    So sorry. Sending you
    So sorry. Sending you strength and prayers!
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #8
    Hi Trabrat,
    I am so very
    Hi Trabrat,
    I am so very sorry for both of you. I took care of my dad with the help of Hospice, he had lung cancer, so I know how very hard it is. Your sister is blessed to have you, I hope you know that. It takes a special person to do what you are doing.
    If you don't mind me asking, what does triple negative bc mean? I have Stage 3 with 8 nodes but I never heard that term.
    May God be with you both and I will include her in my prayers. Can I ask her first name.
  • Youcandothis
    Youcandothis Member Posts: 79
    #9
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Hi Trabrat,
    I am so very
    Hi Trabrat,
    I am so very sorry for both of you. I took care of my dad with the help of Hospice, he had lung cancer, so I know how very hard it is. Your sister is blessed to have you, I hope you know that. It takes a special person to do what you are doing.
    If you don't mind me asking, what does triple negative bc mean? I have Stage 3 with 8 nodes but I never heard that term.
    May God be with you both and I will include her in my prayers. Can I ask her first name.

    Helped my sister see her husband through this
    Lots of good suggestions here, I would add actively look for help and support--church or synagogue, local volunteer groups, anything at all. You must look to your own mental and physical health to help your sister. And you need the strength to let go when you must. Bless you and may the way forward be smoothed for you.
  • trabrat
    trabrat Member Posts: 10
    #10
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Hi Trabrat,
    I am so very
    Hi Trabrat,
    I am so very sorry for both of you. I took care of my dad with the help of Hospice, he had lung cancer, so I know how very hard it is. Your sister is blessed to have you, I hope you know that. It takes a special person to do what you are doing.
    If you don't mind me asking, what does triple negative bc mean? I have Stage 3 with 8 nodes but I never heard that term.
    May God be with you both and I will include her in my prayers. Can I ask her first name.

    triple negative
    Hi, triple negative is a type or form of cancer. when they did a biopsy this is the kind of cancer it came back. very fast growing and used to be rare but more and more is showing up. My sisters name is Lisa

    thanks so much for your kind words
    Tracy
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    #11
    Trabat, your sister's story
    Trabat, your sister's story hits close to home for me. I also had TN cancer and the fear of your sister's experience is never far from me. Yet how blessed your Lisa is to have you as her sister. I can't add to the suggestions here; just wanted to let you know you and your sister are in my prayers.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #12
    Moopy23 said:

    Trabat, your sister's story
    Trabat, your sister's story hits close to home for me. I also had TN cancer and the fear of your sister's experience is never far from me. Yet how blessed your Lisa is to have you as her sister. I can't add to the suggestions here; just wanted to let you know you and your sister are in my prayers.

    Sending your sister and you
    Sending your sister and you big hugs and prayers. Your sister is lucky to have you!


    Hugs, Leeza
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    #13
    Trabrat, I am very sorry to hear of your experience
    Has your sister's doctor talked about PARP inhibitors for her? They offer promise for triple negative stage IV women. Your sister would have to be well enough to enroll in a clinical trial. Maybe bring it up with her oncologist. So sorry. You are a good sister.

    Mimi
  • youngnana
    youngnana Member Posts: 41
    #14
    sister to sister
    Tracy,
    My heart aches for you and your sister. I also have a sister that I love more than life itself. We would do anything for each other. I have recently joined the breast cancer journey, diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carsinoma, stage 1. She was the most difficult person to tell. I knew her fears were quite different from mine, she had to deal with the thought of being the one left behind. The day of my bi-lateral mastectomy, she patiently waited for me to come out of recovery, and this time it was quite a wait. She knew before I, that my nodes had tested negative, and when she and I saw each other, we both cried. I send prayers for you and your sister for comfort, and strength to withstand this last leg of your journey. Just know that your sister is conforted just knowing you are there. Stay in touch, there are so many here who care.
    Karen
  • ms_independent
    ms_independent Member Posts: 214
    #15
    so sorry
    I feel so bad for you and your sister. She is blessed to have you. I will pray for peace and comfort for both of you.

    Hugs, El
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #16
    ms_independent said:

    so sorry
    I feel so bad for you and your sister. She is blessed to have you. I will pray for peace and comfort for both of you.

    Hugs, El

    I will keep you and your
    I will keep you and your sister in my prayers.
    Stef
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #17
    fauxma said:

    I will keep you and your
    I will keep you and your sister in my prayers.
    Stef

    I am so sorry. I am glad
    I am so sorry. I am glad that you found us. You will find a lot of support here and this will help you through the ruff times. Being a caregiver is not an easy job. I took care of my mother when she was sick from lung cancer/ brain. I will keep you and your sister in my prayers.
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #18
    So very sorry that your
    So very sorry that your sister must deal with this horrible disease and suffering. My Aunt died of breast cancer and the poor thing suffered through mets to her bones, lungs and brain. She was so kind and special, its hurts to think of her death so much.

    I pray that your sister will feel peace and comfort. She has a wonderful sister in you and I will be praying for strength for you both. Peace and hugs, Eil
  • arkansasgirl
    arkansasgirl Member Posts: 84
    #19
    ME TOO!!!! TRIPLE NEGATIVE BC
    Hi

    I also have it. I also have another very rare BC which chemo & radiation has no effect.
    I took 6 treatments of chemo and as of FEB 1st I'm CANCER FREE. My heart goes out to
    you. It has been 1 year today I was told I had BC. My lymph nodes were clear. I did have
    both breast removed and my tumor I had went from 2cm to 5cm in about 4 weeks. My husband
    does not like me reading about alot of things but you know this is a reality check. I
    want to know what I'm up against. I was told if Triple Negative comes back that there are
    4 areas it targets - brain, lung, liver and bones. I went to MD Anderson a couple of weeks
    ago just for 2nd and opinion and this was when I was told about this. My surgeon probably
    told me about everything but I was more worried about the other rare one. When you hear
    the C word you mind goes crazy, tries to hear and not to hear everything.
    I'll keep you in my prayers. There is one thing that has become my motto: The cancer won
    the 1st battle and I won the 2nd but the war is not over for I will not give up.
    Thank you for sharing your story as we all have one. I just pray that someday, somehow, somewhere there will be a cure for this BEAST and that there are no other women that has to go through what all us are going through.
    As we all have become warriors and as God says we need to put on our armor for war.


    God Bless You

    Arkansasgirl
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #20
    arkansasgirl said:

    ME TOO!!!! TRIPLE NEGATIVE BC
    Hi

    I also have it. I also have another very rare BC which chemo & radiation has no effect.
    I took 6 treatments of chemo and as of FEB 1st I'm CANCER FREE. My heart goes out to
    you. It has been 1 year today I was told I had BC. My lymph nodes were clear. I did have
    both breast removed and my tumor I had went from 2cm to 5cm in about 4 weeks. My husband
    does not like me reading about alot of things but you know this is a reality check. I
    want to know what I'm up against. I was told if Triple Negative comes back that there are
    4 areas it targets - brain, lung, liver and bones. I went to MD Anderson a couple of weeks
    ago just for 2nd and opinion and this was when I was told about this. My surgeon probably
    told me about everything but I was more worried about the other rare one. When you hear
    the C word you mind goes crazy, tries to hear and not to hear everything.
    I'll keep you in my prayers. There is one thing that has become my motto: The cancer won
    the 1st battle and I won the 2nd but the war is not over for I will not give up.
    Thank you for sharing your story as we all have one. I just pray that someday, somehow, somewhere there will be a cure for this BEAST and that there are no other women that has to go through what all us are going through.
    As we all have become warriors and as God says we need to put on our armor for war.


    God Bless You

    Arkansasgirl

    Praying for you too Arkansas
    Praying for you too Arkansas girl!
  • puglover
    puglover Member Posts: 2
    #21
    I have never posted on this
    I have never posted on this board but have been drawn by your post. I am so sorry to hear about your sister's new progression. I am praying for you both.
    I'm not trying to overstep my boundaries here but I am just a bit confused/conserned as to why she has ended treatment. She had treatment last year with progression. She has been currently on xeloda with more progression. There are many, many more drugs/treatments available. I was recently dx. mets extensively to my liver and 3 spots on my brain (also some in colon, abdominal wall, supraclav. lymph nodes). I had radiation to the brain 2 weeks ago and last week started a new chemo combo. Have you had a second opinion?
    God will provide you with the comfort and peace you are searching for.
    xoxo,
    Anne

Discussion Boards