New here, but not to CSN...asking for prayers

dash4
dash4 Member Posts: 303 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hello everyone,
I have been posting on CSN for years as a caregiver for my husband. ..he was diagnosed 10/04 Stage IV colon cancer. We ended up with 5 more good years together with weekly chemos and some surgeries and some ups and downs. My husband's fight to live became our life and I was priveleged to be able to be with him and still be able to work and keep life going. I lost my husband on 9/25/09...Now, I am lost and everything seems difficult.

On 1/20/10 I went for my yearly mammogram and ultrasound - I was in shock when they found a "mass" in my right breast and a "suspicious" lymph node. (There is no breast cancer history in my family) After biopsy, the mass came back as invasive ductal carcinoma and the node was "negative". I am scheduled Tuesday for a lumpectomy and a sentinel node biopsy. Everything has been a whirlwind and I am starting to have a few moments to think. This is the first I have been brave enough to get on your discussion board. Some of the posts have me thinking of things I had not thought of.
Right now, I am asking for prayers and any helpful tips you might have.

All of you have been in my prayers as I always pray for everyone whose lives have been touched by cancer.
Thanks for listening to my story..
Mary Kay
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Comments

  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    Dear Dash4
    Sorry about ur husband, and now you. What a blow that must have been. Bet ur still numb from the lose of ur husband and then ur diagnosis. WOW It's a very good site to be on. Lots of helpful advice and support. My story goes, Dx May 09 with stage3c, er and pr positive,her2 invasive ductal cancer with 18/20 positive nodes. All treatment finished. The bone and brain are clear. Was told I have a very aggressive cancer, in the fact it grew so fast. There were times I thought I was alone, but this site and the wonderful women, and yes some men have provided me w an outlet to ask questions and to express my concerns or just to vent. Sorry ur here, but glad ur here. Take care and keep us updated on ur progress. Gayla
  • jbug
    jbug Member Posts: 285
    MaryKay
    You've had a hard road already and now facing your own battle...I'm sorry that you've had to come back here for your own cancer diagnosis. As you already know, the CSN is a great place to get support, this board is full of wonderful women who can 'be' w/you as you journey. I had stage 1 IBC, lumpectomy, neg nodes, rads and have started tamoxifen.

    I don't think I have any good tips, that you don't already know about. Taking one day at a time seemed best for me. That, and coming to the realization that it was ok for me to be sad that the 'me' before bc is different from the'me' after and it's ok to mourn the loss.

    Come back often! I'll be praying that God gives you strength and you feel His love and mercy. Lean on others to help you thru. God Bless...
    Julie
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
    jbug said:

    MaryKay
    You've had a hard road already and now facing your own battle...I'm sorry that you've had to come back here for your own cancer diagnosis. As you already know, the CSN is a great place to get support, this board is full of wonderful women who can 'be' w/you as you journey. I had stage 1 IBC, lumpectomy, neg nodes, rads and have started tamoxifen.

    I don't think I have any good tips, that you don't already know about. Taking one day at a time seemed best for me. That, and coming to the realization that it was ok for me to be sad that the 'me' before bc is different from the'me' after and it's ok to mourn the loss.

    Come back often! I'll be praying that God gives you strength and you feel His love and mercy. Lean on others to help you thru. God Bless...
    Julie

    Hi MaryKay
    First, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. This is such a huge fear of mine. I am praying for you Tuesday. Please let us know the results and come back often for the support and understanding that you need during this time.

    Hugs, Judy
  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471
    Skeezie said:

    Hi MaryKay
    First, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. This is such a huge fear of mine. I am praying for you Tuesday. Please let us know the results and come back often for the support and understanding that you need during this time.

    Hugs, Judy

    wishing you the best
    im wishing you the best!


    teresa
  • dash4
    dash4 Member Posts: 303 Member
    jbug said:

    MaryKay
    You've had a hard road already and now facing your own battle...I'm sorry that you've had to come back here for your own cancer diagnosis. As you already know, the CSN is a great place to get support, this board is full of wonderful women who can 'be' w/you as you journey. I had stage 1 IBC, lumpectomy, neg nodes, rads and have started tamoxifen.

    I don't think I have any good tips, that you don't already know about. Taking one day at a time seemed best for me. That, and coming to the realization that it was ok for me to be sad that the 'me' before bc is different from the'me' after and it's ok to mourn the loss.

    Come back often! I'll be praying that God gives you strength and you feel His love and mercy. Lean on others to help you thru. God Bless...
    Julie

    thank you..
    Julie,
    Thank you..I am praying for God's love and mercy to carry me through my cancer journey. The "leaning on others" part is a real challenge for me that I am struggling with. I am so nervous to wonder what it will be like after surgery...I have been blessed never to have had general anesthetia before or anything except having my children. The unknown is frightening...I am working on faith to keep me going. And, my son has me practicing Qigong and I am working on having the mass disappear before they can even take it out.
    And working on who "me" is now....
    God bless...
    Mary Kay
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Hey! I'm glad you got brave enough!
    I've been on both boards for years...since I am both a CRC survivor and a BC survivor...
    but it's been a while since treatment, so I don't know the ins-and-outs.

    But I CAN say welcome...this is a GREAT board, filled with caring, knowlegable people that will get you thru this, too!!!!

    I'm sad to say that what happened to you happens often to caregivers. We (I supported my 2 disabled daughters, and my beau with his bad heart) end up having our immune systems so compromised that it opens the door to other things...including cancer.

    It's definately good news that your lymph system is not involved!!!!

    BIG hugs, and welcome to the sisterhood!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    Skeezie said:

    Hi MaryKay
    First, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. This is such a huge fear of mine. I am praying for you Tuesday. Please let us know the results and come back often for the support and understanding that you need during this time.

    Hugs, Judy

    Welcome Mary Kay
    Like the

    Welcome Mary Kay

    Like the rest of us it's not a group you want to be part of. I'm sooo sorry you lost your husband. I hope you have a support system at home to help you through your battle. I also have IDC, stage 1C, clear nodes, Esrogen and Progesterone + with HER2 +. I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday. There are a lot of friends on this board so ask any and all your questions.

    Sher
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
    Mary Kay
    I am sorry for your loss. Cancer sucks! Breast cancer doesn't run in my family either and after reading your post, I believe it puts some legitimacy to the fact that they are now proving studies that it can be brought on by trauma. I did not have a partner die, but I lost a partnership of nearly five years. My diagnosis was just a few short months afterwards. Without a doubt, it's a blow! I don't imagine anyone is ever ready to hear the words 'you have cancer'.

    You obviously believe in the power of prayer, as I do very much. You will get a lot of support here and you will feel the energy from all of the beautiful ladies (and a few men) here.

    I was diagnosed in June 09, mastectomy in August, finished chemo last week and will be having radiation in just a few weeks. Whatever your treatment, you will find many here that have gone through the same thing and can answer most any question you may have. Stick close... it will help you a LOT!

    With hugs & prayers, Mar
  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
    Dash4
    Dash4,

    I am so sorry about the loss of your husband. You are truly special to have stayed by his side during his fight. Well, my dear, now you are in a fight of your own, now and we will be by your side the entire time.

    Let us know how you come out of the surgery.

    I was diagnosed in April 2009 on my mom's birthday. I had a lumpectomy and all of my lymph nodes removed on the right side. I have been through chemo (taxotere, cytoxan, and avastin) and 33 rounds of radiation. I am still taking avastin and have just started Femera. The last two meds are to reduce a recurrence.

    Take care. Sending you prayers.

    P
  • bjmom1
    bjmom1 Member Posts: 152
    sorry
    Hi,

    I am sorry for your loss. I to have bc and was diagonsis with stage 3c in 2007. I am current facing a recurrence in my bones I found this out Friday. With prayer and good family and friends support it help you get through it. I will be praying for you.
  • Tux
    Tux Member Posts: 544
    So sorry to hear of your
    So sorry to hear of your loss and now your dx. You have a strong sisterhood here to support you. I hope everything goes all right with your surgery. Please let us know how everything goes when you are able to post.

    Hugs & prayers sent your way...
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    Tux said:

    So sorry to hear of your
    So sorry to hear of your loss and now your dx. You have a strong sisterhood here to support you. I hope everything goes all right with your surgery. Please let us know how everything goes when you are able to post.

    Hugs & prayers sent your way...

    Mary Kay, like everyone here
    Mary Kay, like everyone here I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. I was the caregiver for my Mom and when she lost her bc battle I was devastated. Now I'm fighting my own battle, also have IDC, 3 tumors and lymph node involvement, Stage IIa. Will be having a masectomy soon and just want to get it over with. The surgery itself does not bother me, and I've had several surgeries. You'll be fine and you're not alone. We're all here for you. Many prayers and hugs for you. Keep us posted.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    Sunrae said:

    Mary Kay, like everyone here
    Mary Kay, like everyone here I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. I was the caregiver for my Mom and when she lost her bc battle I was devastated. Now I'm fighting my own battle, also have IDC, 3 tumors and lymph node involvement, Stage IIa. Will be having a masectomy soon and just want to get it over with. The surgery itself does not bother me, and I've had several surgeries. You'll be fine and you're not alone. We're all here for you. Many prayers and hugs for you. Keep us posted.

    wishing you the best
    wishing you the best possible results. come here and check in you will find lots of support.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    carkris said:

    wishing you the best
    wishing you the best possible results. come here and check in you will find lots of support.

    Mary Kay,
    So sorry for your

    Mary Kay,
    So sorry for your loss and for this diagnosis. You have come to the right place. We will walk with you every step of the way. Surgery is always scary and cancer surgery is a double whammy. My suggestion is take baby steps and deal with each step one at a time. It is so easy to go on overload, but you probably know that from your experience as caregiver. Take all help that is offered. It may be more difficult for you because you have spent the last several years as the caregiver but now is the time for you to let others reach out and support and help you. Surgery for a lumpectomy was not too bad. I had minimal discomfort and came through just fine. You will know what the balance of your treatment is after the surgery so try not to fret about what might or might not be in the plans. Easier said than done but it will allow you to focus on what you need to do right now. My prayers are with you.
    Stef
  • dash4
    dash4 Member Posts: 303 Member
    fauxma said:

    Mary Kay,
    So sorry for your

    Mary Kay,
    So sorry for your loss and for this diagnosis. You have come to the right place. We will walk with you every step of the way. Surgery is always scary and cancer surgery is a double whammy. My suggestion is take baby steps and deal with each step one at a time. It is so easy to go on overload, but you probably know that from your experience as caregiver. Take all help that is offered. It may be more difficult for you because you have spent the last several years as the caregiver but now is the time for you to let others reach out and support and help you. Surgery for a lumpectomy was not too bad. I had minimal discomfort and came through just fine. You will know what the balance of your treatment is after the surgery so try not to fret about what might or might not be in the plans. Easier said than done but it will allow you to focus on what you need to do right now. My prayers are with you.
    Stef

    wow...
    I am overwhelmed and humbled by all the support from all of you. Thank you for responding and making me feel comfortable. I feel like a roller coaster--I am so focused trying to do what must be done before Tuesday-I "almost" forget where I am and then the reality is suddenly there again. It is a lonely place to be...all of you are helping. Thank you...
    God Bless,
    Mary Kay
  • canoegirl
    canoegirl Member Posts: 169
    dash4 said:

    wow...
    I am overwhelmed and humbled by all the support from all of you. Thank you for responding and making me feel comfortable. I feel like a roller coaster--I am so focused trying to do what must be done before Tuesday-I "almost" forget where I am and then the reality is suddenly there again. It is a lonely place to be...all of you are helping. Thank you...
    God Bless,
    Mary Kay

    Sorry for your loss
    May Kay,
    Sorry for your loss and your DX. I can imagine that you would be overwhelmed right now. You are in my prayers and I wish you luck on Tuesday.

    God Bless,
    Marcy
  • austinsmom
    austinsmom Member Posts: 22
    dash4 said:

    wow...
    I am overwhelmed and humbled by all the support from all of you. Thank you for responding and making me feel comfortable. I feel like a roller coaster--I am so focused trying to do what must be done before Tuesday-I "almost" forget where I am and then the reality is suddenly there again. It is a lonely place to be...all of you are helping. Thank you...
    God Bless,
    Mary Kay

    God Bless you
    Mary Kay,

    It seems like when it rains it pours. Cancer is so surreal and life changing in so many ways. It's hard to stay strong with so many uncertanties. I pray for peace and strength in your battle.

    JJ
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Heartfelt condolences...
    For the loss of your husband, Mary Kay. Cancer unites us all - no matter what type. He was "one of us" - unfortunately, you now are, too. For which I am so sorry.

    No BC - in fact, no cancer at all - within my family history either, both sides. I was the first. So, I totally understand your shock. Yet, less than 10% of BC cases are due to genetics. Therefore, all women are at risk.

    We here will walk the journey with you, each and every step of the way. Please feel free to visit often - whenever you may need or would like to.

    Will be thinking hopeful thoughts, with prayers, for you on Tuesday.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member

    Heartfelt condolences...
    For the loss of your husband, Mary Kay. Cancer unites us all - no matter what type. He was "one of us" - unfortunately, you now are, too. For which I am so sorry.

    No BC - in fact, no cancer at all - within my family history either, both sides. I was the first. So, I totally understand your shock. Yet, less than 10% of BC cases are due to genetics. Therefore, all women are at risk.

    We here will walk the journey with you, each and every step of the way. Please feel free to visit often - whenever you may need or would like to.

    Will be thinking hopeful thoughts, with prayers, for you on Tuesday.

    Kind regards, Susan

    Will be thinking of you and
    Will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. God bless.
  • jbug
    jbug Member Posts: 285
    dash4 said:

    thank you..
    Julie,
    Thank you..I am praying for God's love and mercy to carry me through my cancer journey. The "leaning on others" part is a real challenge for me that I am struggling with. I am so nervous to wonder what it will be like after surgery...I have been blessed never to have had general anesthetia before or anything except having my children. The unknown is frightening...I am working on faith to keep me going. And, my son has me practicing Qigong and I am working on having the mass disappear before they can even take it out.
    And working on who "me" is now....
    God bless...
    Mary Kay

    Mary Kay
    I can certainly relate to fear of the unknown w/regard to surgery and anesthesia. before my bc diagnosis, i'd never had surgery in my life! I'm a nurse and have been on the other side of life for years...I was an absolute wreck! I felt foolish, because I was "only" having a relatively minor procedure, but my fears and yours are very real. My experience ended up being so very positive, even in the face of bc diagnosis. The staff in all the areas were wonderful. I didn't think the post-op pain was too bad. I had my surgery on a thursday and was back at work by monday.

    I too, am the caregiver...have been all my life. Letting others and asking others help me was one of the most difficult challenges for me. I was blessed not to have to go thru chemo, but rads really wore me out. I had several melt downs before i finally gave in and accepted the help others so lovingly offered.

    Will be praying for you Tuesday and waiting to hear how things went. God Bless...
    Julie