So afraid.

MaryRC
MaryRC Member Posts: 114
edited March 2014 in Head and Neck Cancer #1
I had a lump on the back of my neck and after having a needle biopsy it came out squmous cell carcinoma. I have to have a PET scan this coming Thursday. I have always felt fine and healthy. I have been a vegetariann for 10 yrs and then a vegan. I felt I have had a healthy life style. So I was so shocked when I found the lump on the back of my neck, thought she would say it was a fat lump. When she said the word cancer I dont know how I made it home from work. I got to my bed and screamed for 2 hours. My husband came in from work and held me till it passed. My family doctor called me, he had just gotten the reports himself. He said it doenst say lymph gland on ct report, just mass in my neck. I guess the PET scan is to see if is coming from some other place in my body I am so afraid I am going to die any minute. Up until this point I was out working in my garden and laughing at life. I want be positive and I found this site to talk to other people going what I am going through. I am trying to stay sane. I had another good cry this morning.
Thankyou for listening to me.
Mary
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Comments

  • MaryRC
    MaryRC Member Posts: 114

    Mary
    Hi Mary. I too had about three weeks of thinking the worst. I was so scared I could not sleep. Since diagnosis (31 Dec), surgery (15 Jan), and treatment plan (6 Feb, my treatment starts on the 17th) I am better. What I think scared me the most was the 'not knowing'. Every time I got information I calmed a bit more. It has been a rather frightening two months.

    Once the initial shock wears off I would suggest doing some research on your illness and ask the Drs to give you the exact diagnosis and staging. I would also suggest getting the book AntiCancer by David Servan-Schreiber for inspiration as well as a guide to treating cancer. There are several books to look at, but this one I find especially inspiring and helpful.

    There is a support site for the kind of cancer we have called Support for People with Head and Neck Cancer (SPOHNC) and can be found at http://www.spohnc.org/. As well you need to visit the National Cancer Institute's Head and Neck site found at http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/head-and-neck/.

    Please do not give up hope. What you have is likely very treatable and most of us on here are pre- or post-treatment and can offer you a great deal of support and information. I found and joined this site on 29 December and it has been a gift to have these people to chat and share with *daily*. What I've come to accept is that I have a "new normal", a phrase you may hear a lot on this adventure. All of us have been changed by this experience and accepting the change can be difficult, depressing, annoying, aggravating ... Yet it is in accepting it that you may find strength and courage to confront and advocate for your treatment. This is a very important thing. Many people don't feel empowered to advocate for themselves and it can be the thing that gives you the courage to face what's coming. Keep a journal for questions you have for your Dr. Build a support group with your family and friends. Certain people will rise to the occasion and it may surprise you.

    Chin up Mary. We are all of us here with you. Please continue to post and ask questions, search the threads, reach out. We are here.

    Best,

    Mick

    Thankyou
    My family doctor called me after he had the report on his desk. He said all report said was there there was only cancer in lump on my neck, it didnt say a lymph node. My CT scan only showed this one lump. The ENT doctor wants me to have the PET scan. So scary but I wont know till the test is over with. I dont have any symtoms of having cancer anyplace else.Yes I guess it is the not knowning that is scary.
    I came home from getting the dianosis and cried on my bed for hours, couldnt stop, shaking and so afraid. Now I do ok for awhile then something comes over me and I will cry again.
    My doctor (ENT) hasnt said much yet. I had more comfort from my family doctor.
    Thanks for writing to me and keep me posted on you. Your treatment will be succsessful.
    Mary
  • MaryRC
    MaryRC Member Posts: 114
    MarineE5 said:

    Mary,

    Sorry to hear that you have to walk down the path that many of us here had to travel.

    I know that you have many emotions running through your mind and in turn make you feel upset. You feelings make you react to the situation that is present.

    You came to the right place to find answers to many questions that you will have. The thing right now is to not get overwhelmed with might happen until you have had all your tests and all the options have been presented to you.

    There are allot of good people here to help you. Read what you can and learn. Try not to look at the survival rates as they can muddy your mind and many of the stats are outdated. I recently did a search on that and the stats were the same ones I looked at 5 years ago. And at that time, many of them were 5 years old.

    My Best to You and Everyone Here

    Thankyou
    It just gets so overwelming. Show shocking to have this happen to me. I am always so active and I eat well and have always been fine. Now a cancer lump on the back of my neck. I have my test on Thursday but wont get results until Wednesday.
    Mary
  • stevenl
    stevenl Member Posts: 587

    Mary
    Hi Mary. I too had about three weeks of thinking the worst. I was so scared I could not sleep. Since diagnosis (31 Dec), surgery (15 Jan), and treatment plan (6 Feb, my treatment starts on the 17th) I am better. What I think scared me the most was the 'not knowing'. Every time I got information I calmed a bit more. It has been a rather frightening two months.

    Once the initial shock wears off I would suggest doing some research on your illness and ask the Drs to give you the exact diagnosis and staging. I would also suggest getting the book AntiCancer by David Servan-Schreiber for inspiration as well as a guide to treating cancer. There are several books to look at, but this one I find especially inspiring and helpful.

    There is a support site for the kind of cancer we have called Support for People with Head and Neck Cancer (SPOHNC) and can be found at http://www.spohnc.org/. As well you need to visit the National Cancer Institute's Head and Neck site found at http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/head-and-neck/.

    Please do not give up hope. What you have is likely very treatable and most of us on here are pre- or post-treatment and can offer you a great deal of support and information. I found and joined this site on 29 December and it has been a gift to have these people to chat and share with *daily*. What I've come to accept is that I have a "new normal", a phrase you may hear a lot on this adventure. All of us have been changed by this experience and accepting the change can be difficult, depressing, annoying, aggravating ... Yet it is in accepting it that you may find strength and courage to confront and advocate for your treatment. This is a very important thing. Many people don't feel empowered to advocate for themselves and it can be the thing that gives you the courage to face what's coming. Keep a journal for questions you have for your Dr. Build a support group with your family and friends. Certain people will rise to the occasion and it may surprise you.

    Chin up Mary. We are all of us here with you. Please continue to post and ask questions, search the threads, reach out. We are here.

    Best,

    Mick

    Afraid
    Hi Mary,
    So sorry that you have been diagnosed with cancer. But you have found a great place to get help with your fears, questions and just a great place for general support, whatever your need may be at any given time. I found this place the day after I was diagnosed. The people here have helped me overcome my fears and guided me in what to expect and what I should ask my doctors. Don't be afraid of the c, maybe you can do like me and just get mad at it. From what I have learned thus far, this is very treatable and you CAN BEAT IT!!. I had a radical right neck dissection which was very successful and I start my radiation and chemo the 15th. So I have made it this far and I will make it all the way through, and there is no reason that you won't make it too!!!. So hang in there, post here when you need something and someone WILL help YOU. Have courage be strong YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!.

    All the best,
    Steve
  • micktissue
    micktissue Member Posts: 430
    MaryRC said:

    Thankyou
    My family doctor called me after he had the report on his desk. He said all report said was there there was only cancer in lump on my neck, it didnt say a lymph node. My CT scan only showed this one lump. The ENT doctor wants me to have the PET scan. So scary but I wont know till the test is over with. I dont have any symtoms of having cancer anyplace else.Yes I guess it is the not knowning that is scary.
    I came home from getting the dianosis and cried on my bed for hours, couldnt stop, shaking and so afraid. Now I do ok for awhile then something comes over me and I will cry again.
    My doctor (ENT) hasnt said much yet. I had more comfort from my family doctor.
    Thanks for writing to me and keep me posted on you. Your treatment will be succsessful.
    Mary

    Get mad?
    Hi Mary. I got mad at a few of my Drs when they wouldn't communicate with me to my satisfaction. If yo are not getting what you want from your ENT they need to know. You can put it as a formal request "please tell me everything you know about my illness" or emotional "I need more information so I can stop crying". Either way are likely to get a response.

    You are your own best advocate. If that is a problem for you designate someone to advocate for you. Someone in your family or a friend who are not afraid to confront, might be helpful to you right now. Obviously you'll want to stop short of rudeness or accusations, but being assertive does not equal being rude or inappropriate.

    With so little information your mind is going to the worst case scenario. In my case more information always meant I got a little calmer. Now I am ready for my fight.

    You will get through this Mary.

    Best,

    Mick
  • MaryRC
    MaryRC Member Posts: 114
    stevenl said:

    Afraid
    Hi Mary,
    So sorry that you have been diagnosed with cancer. But you have found a great place to get help with your fears, questions and just a great place for general support, whatever your need may be at any given time. I found this place the day after I was diagnosed. The people here have helped me overcome my fears and guided me in what to expect and what I should ask my doctors. Don't be afraid of the c, maybe you can do like me and just get mad at it. From what I have learned thus far, this is very treatable and you CAN BEAT IT!!. I had a radical right neck dissection which was very successful and I start my radiation and chemo the 15th. So I have made it this far and I will make it all the way through, and there is no reason that you won't make it too!!!. So hang in there, post here when you need something and someone WILL help YOU. Have courage be strong YOU WILL MAKE IT!!!!.

    All the best,
    Steve

    Thankyou
    Thankyou Steve.
    I am not crying as much as when I got the dianosis on the 3rd. I was at work when the doctor called me. I dont know how I made it home. Got home and completely came apart. My husband finally got me to settle down after an hour. What really helped me is my family doctor called me soon as the report was on his desk. He was so calm and told me all about what the report said. He didnt rushed it and scare me. The CT scan I had last week didnt show anything but the one lump in back of my neck. I do the PET scan on Thursday at 7:45am. But wont get results till Wednesday. Can I ask you what you have? Did yours start with a lump on your neck. Did you have to stay in the hospital after your surgery?
    Thankyou
    Mary
  • cwcad
    cwcad Member Posts: 117

    Mary
    Hi Mary. I too had about three weeks of thinking the worst. I was so scared I could not sleep. Since diagnosis (31 Dec), surgery (15 Jan), and treatment plan (6 Feb, my treatment starts on the 17th) I am better. What I think scared me the most was the 'not knowing'. Every time I got information I calmed a bit more. It has been a rather frightening two months.

    Once the initial shock wears off I would suggest doing some research on your illness and ask the Drs to give you the exact diagnosis and staging. I would also suggest getting the book AntiCancer by David Servan-Schreiber for inspiration as well as a guide to treating cancer. There are several books to look at, but this one I find especially inspiring and helpful.

    There is a support site for the kind of cancer we have called Support for People with Head and Neck Cancer (SPOHNC) and can be found at http://www.spohnc.org/. As well you need to visit the National Cancer Institute's Head and Neck site found at http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/head-and-neck/.

    Please do not give up hope. What you have is likely very treatable and most of us on here are pre- or post-treatment and can offer you a great deal of support and information. I found and joined this site on 29 December and it has been a gift to have these people to chat and share with *daily*. What I've come to accept is that I have a "new normal", a phrase you may hear a lot on this adventure. All of us have been changed by this experience and accepting the change can be difficult, depressing, annoying, aggravating ... Yet it is in accepting it that you may find strength and courage to confront and advocate for your treatment. This is a very important thing. Many people don't feel empowered to advocate for themselves and it can be the thing that gives you the courage to face what's coming. Keep a journal for questions you have for your Dr. Build a support group with your family and friends. Certain people will rise to the occasion and it may surprise you.

    Chin up Mary. We are all of us here with you. Please continue to post and ask questions, search the threads, reach out. We are here.

    Best,

    Mick

    After shock
    I think y our reaction is normal. I must admit that I did not scream for two hours but in retrospect it might have been the thing to do. Releasing your feelings is most likely good in the long run. After the shock is settled then you will start to make good decisions in regards to the direction of your treatment.

    What ever is decided for your treatment you are headed for a tough journey. Keep your feelings open and continue to think positive. Your cancer is treatable. Taking the step to enter this site is a good step in your journey. Good luck and do not feel alone.
  • MaryRC
    MaryRC Member Posts: 114
    cwcad said:

    After shock
    I think y our reaction is normal. I must admit that I did not scream for two hours but in retrospect it might have been the thing to do. Releasing your feelings is most likely good in the long run. After the shock is settled then you will start to make good decisions in regards to the direction of your treatment.

    What ever is decided for your treatment you are headed for a tough journey. Keep your feelings open and continue to think positive. Your cancer is treatable. Taking the step to enter this site is a good step in your journey. Good luck and do not feel alone.

    Thankyou
    Thankyou for the support. Have you had surgery and treatment yet?
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    Hi Mary

    I too was a vegetarian for more then 15 years before I found out that I had NPC. Cancer does not have respect for anyone, but remember that there is life after cancer treatment. You will find a lot of help and support here so keep strong and keep us posted on your progress,
  • stevenl
    stevenl Member Posts: 587
    MaryRC said:

    Thankyou
    Thankyou Steve.
    I am not crying as much as when I got the dianosis on the 3rd. I was at work when the doctor called me. I dont know how I made it home. Got home and completely came apart. My husband finally got me to settle down after an hour. What really helped me is my family doctor called me soon as the report was on his desk. He was so calm and told me all about what the report said. He didnt rushed it and scare me. The CT scan I had last week didnt show anything but the one lump in back of my neck. I do the PET scan on Thursday at 7:45am. But wont get results till Wednesday. Can I ask you what you have? Did yours start with a lump on your neck. Did you have to stay in the hospital after your surgery?
    Thankyou
    Mary

    Yes
    Yes you can ask what I have. Here goes; Squamous Cell Carcinoma, Stage 4, Primary Right Tonsil. Yes it started with a small lump on the right side of my neck. I stayed 2 nights in the hospital after my surgery. Mick is right about the doctors. If you feel you are not getting all the information about your diagnosis, by all means ask! If you don't know what to ask post here and people will help you. Mick and Marine E5 have really helped me a lot. Everybody here has helped me and they will help you too. Hang in there, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Steve
  • MaryRC
    MaryRC Member Posts: 114
    Hondo said:

    Hi Mary

    I too was a vegetarian for more then 15 years before I found out that I had NPC. Cancer does not have respect for anyone, but remember that there is life after cancer treatment. You will find a lot of help and support here so keep strong and keep us posted on your progress,

    Thanks
    I am now reading on here about radiation and PEG tubes and having teeth out. I dont know if I can sleep tonight. This was such a shock to me. I have been healthy all my life and when I felt the small lump on my neck I just thought it was an infection or something. Hearing the word cancer has scared me to death.
    I am glad I found this site.
  • MaryRC
    MaryRC Member Posts: 114
    Hondo said:

    Hi Mary

    I too was a vegetarian for more then 15 years before I found out that I had NPC. Cancer does not have respect for anyone, but remember that there is life after cancer treatment. You will find a lot of help and support here so keep strong and keep us posted on your progress,

    Thanks
    I am now reading on here about radiation and PEG tubes and having teeth out. I dont know if I can sleep tonight. This was such a shock to me. I have been healthy all my life and when I felt the small lump on my neck I just thought it was an infection or something. Hearing the word cancer has scared me to death.
    I am glad I found this site.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    MaryRC said:

    Thanks
    I am now reading on here about radiation and PEG tubes and having teeth out. I dont know if I can sleep tonight. This was such a shock to me. I have been healthy all my life and when I felt the small lump on my neck I just thought it was an infection or something. Hearing the word cancer has scared me to death.
    I am glad I found this site.

    Hi Mary
    It did the same thing to me, I remember being afraid and asking God what he was thinking, Cancer is for people who misused and mistreat there bodies not me. But in time I learned to lean on Him and trust Him so must more then I every could had I never had Cancer, in my storm I found he is my anchor.
    Fear in natural when dealing with cancer and the road is very dark but there is light at the end of the tunnel, we are here to help you through that tunnel.
  • cwcad
    cwcad Member Posts: 117
    MaryRC said:

    Thankyou
    Thankyou for the support. Have you had surgery and treatment yet?

    I am three years cancer free
    I am three years cancer free from Stage IV tongue cancer. I am a new member to this forum. But the help that has been provided has helped me turn the corner on this cancer. I was stuck in depression after the treatments. Everything has worked out for the best so far. Reading the posts on the forum has made it easier for me. I do not have to many horror stories. The chemo is not fun. The radiation is as bad as everyone says. But it is no harder than showing up for work. Some days I didn't feel like going...but I did. I tend to think of the depression that comes during and after the treatments. This is where I let myself go. Depression has slowed my recovery. It has helped reading of other who were depressed and how they handled it.

    Someone will be here for you. The members are always willing to share and listen. I think it was the last prescription in my battle with my cancer.

    Keep posting and good luck. You and the others of the forum will be in my prayers this night
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    MaryRC said:

    Thanks
    I am now reading on here about radiation and PEG tubes and having teeth out. I dont know if I can sleep tonight. This was such a shock to me. I have been healthy all my life and when I felt the small lump on my neck I just thought it was an infection or something. Hearing the word cancer has scared me to death.
    I am glad I found this site.

    Mary
    Glad you found your way here....

    Reading your other post I can very well relate and sympathize with you. I remember the Friday that I found out that I had SCC stage III in my throat as well. It was a shocker to say the least. I remember the week-end in-between finding out, and having my tonsils out very well. I was feeling very good other than a small irritation in my throat that wouldn't go away prior to the diagnosis. That week-end was pure hell to me and my wife. I wasn't diagnosed stage III until he removed my tonsil. I also had a lump in my throat that came up the last few weeks before diagnosis also. I gathered all of my important documents and account information for my wife I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through that week-end....

    But I did make it, the surgery, the nine weeks on chemo and then seven weeks of concurrent chemo and radiation. It's rough and not fun at all, but you can make it also.

    One thing that I hope the check out for you is if it is HPV derived. The sent my biopsy out for testing of that and it did come back as HPV positive. HPV related throat cancers tend to respond well to the treatments if that's any comfort.

    Hopefully your PET will go well and it will be confined to that one area. Usually there is a primary and secondary source. For me the tonsils were the primary the lump the secondary. All has been good since treatment, no signs of cancer present. The lump actually dissolved after the second round of chemo for me....

    I also have United Health Care as my work primary provider and contracted through the Watson Cancer Center for Research here in Lakeland, Florida where I live and work.

    United Health Care came through very well for me and I had very little problems with anything. If I had a prescription get hung up, I could call and the gate keeper for our plan had it resolved within a few hours...

    Good Luck and God Bless...
    Keep us posted and feel free to ask any questions you may have.....
    John
  • Kent Cass
    Kent Cass Member Posts: 1,898 Member
    Hondo said:

    Hi Mary
    It did the same thing to me, I remember being afraid and asking God what he was thinking, Cancer is for people who misused and mistreat there bodies not me. But in time I learned to lean on Him and trust Him so must more then I every could had I never had Cancer, in my storm I found he is my anchor.
    Fear in natural when dealing with cancer and the road is very dark but there is light at the end of the tunnel, we are here to help you through that tunnel.

    brave new world?
    From what I gather from your first post in this thread, only a needle biopsy has said it is C? A needle biopsy is only the first step/test.

    The Pet Scan is to see where the C MIGHT exist in your body, as the scan will typically cover all areas from your brain to upper-thighs. I would advise avoiding sugar before your Pet Scan, as sugar seems to be key to false positives in the mouth/throat area

    I would advise talking to/visiting your regular Dr. He/she may be able to help you cope with a prescrip- such is not untypical. I've had my Port and PEG tube for over a year, now, and neither is as bad as it seems. And, I would advise getting the PEG if your Dr. suggests it- makes getting nutrition easy during treatment, and nutrition is critical in helping your body deal with all that treatment brings with it. Some of us regard the PEG as a blessing.

    Mary, you are in transition. All of us go thru it when we are diagnosed. Brave new world, Mary. You don't wanna be where you are, just as none of us do/did. You just have to accept it, but at the same time keep your Drs. on their toes. You must keep your eyes on the time after treatment, BECAUSE you will survive this, and your life will go on. Hondo and I, as have many others, found solace with the Lord, and help given by the grace of God. This is a time for adjustments. You got a bit of an historic battle ahead of you, and there will be difficult times, but you will survive. Your Drs. will not only treat the C, but they will also help you cope with it all with prescrips- but you must let them know of your struggling with this. Everyone of us has survived (I'm 15-month), and so will you. It is a brave new world, Mary, but all of us come out of the treatment as better people than we were before our diagnosis. The light at the end of the tunnel is already there, Mary. All you have to do is seek it correctly. That light, and your post-C continued life, are waiting for you. Find them, Mary, and

    Believe.

    kcass
  • fsdman
    fsdman Member Posts: 51
    MaryRC said:

    Thankyou
    It just gets so overwelming. Show shocking to have this happen to me. I am always so active and I eat well and have always been fine. Now a cancer lump on the back of my neck. I have my test on Thursday but wont get results until Wednesday.
    Mary

    Hi Mary,
    Sorry for your

    Hi Mary,
    Sorry for your trouble. I cant imagine waiting a week for results.I took my last PET on last Wed and got the results Thurs. Why must you wait?No reason I know of.
    Also ,you are getting great advice here. It has been a big help to me as I made the journey from diagnosis to traetment to post treatment to now.There is nothing you will go through that people here havent already survived. We will help you as you need it.Just ask.Good luck
  • delnative
    delnative Member Posts: 450
    Skiffin16 said:

    Mary
    Glad you found your way here....

    Reading your other post I can very well relate and sympathize with you. I remember the Friday that I found out that I had SCC stage III in my throat as well. It was a shocker to say the least. I remember the week-end in-between finding out, and having my tonsils out very well. I was feeling very good other than a small irritation in my throat that wouldn't go away prior to the diagnosis. That week-end was pure hell to me and my wife. I wasn't diagnosed stage III until he removed my tonsil. I also had a lump in my throat that came up the last few weeks before diagnosis also. I gathered all of my important documents and account information for my wife I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through that week-end....

    But I did make it, the surgery, the nine weeks on chemo and then seven weeks of concurrent chemo and radiation. It's rough and not fun at all, but you can make it also.

    One thing that I hope the check out for you is if it is HPV derived. The sent my biopsy out for testing of that and it did come back as HPV positive. HPV related throat cancers tend to respond well to the treatments if that's any comfort.

    Hopefully your PET will go well and it will be confined to that one area. Usually there is a primary and secondary source. For me the tonsils were the primary the lump the secondary. All has been good since treatment, no signs of cancer present. The lump actually dissolved after the second round of chemo for me....

    I also have United Health Care as my work primary provider and contracted through the Watson Cancer Center for Research here in Lakeland, Florida where I live and work.

    United Health Care came through very well for me and I had very little problems with anything. If I had a prescription get hung up, I could call and the gate keeper for our plan had it resolved within a few hours...

    Good Luck and God Bless...
    Keep us posted and feel free to ask any questions you may have.....
    John

    Hi Mary
    Hang in there. Things will get better, and so will you. This is a survivable cancer, and you can beat it.
    As for being a vegetarian/vegan: So was my dear cousin Annie. She got breast cancer. She died.
    By contrast, I have been eating a largely organic diet for decades, but I do eat meat. It's mainly venison from deer that I shoot during hunting season, along with wild waterfowl and the occasional wild boar. That's about as organic as organic can be, and I can't remember the last time I bought meat.
    I got cancer. I didn't die -- and I don't plan on doing so for a number of years yet.
    As has been pointed out previously, cancer doesn't pay much attention to who you are or what you've done. But with the right attitude and the right treatment, you can damn well make it sit up and take notice.
    Welcome to the board, and please keep us informed of your progress.

    --Jim in snowbound Delaware
    (Stage III SCC of the right tonsil, one lymph node involved, HPV-positive)
  • MaryRC
    MaryRC Member Posts: 114
    delnative said:

    Hi Mary
    Hang in there. Things will get better, and so will you. This is a survivable cancer, and you can beat it.
    As for being a vegetarian/vegan: So was my dear cousin Annie. She got breast cancer. She died.
    By contrast, I have been eating a largely organic diet for decades, but I do eat meat. It's mainly venison from deer that I shoot during hunting season, along with wild waterfowl and the occasional wild boar. That's about as organic as organic can be, and I can't remember the last time I bought meat.
    I got cancer. I didn't die -- and I don't plan on doing so for a number of years yet.
    As has been pointed out previously, cancer doesn't pay much attention to who you are or what you've done. But with the right attitude and the right treatment, you can damn well make it sit up and take notice.
    Welcome to the board, and please keep us informed of your progress.

    --Jim in snowbound Delaware
    (Stage III SCC of the right tonsil, one lymph node involved, HPV-positive)

    Thankyou Jim
    My PET scan is this Thursday. So far all they know is I have a small lump on the back of my neck,near my hairline. Not very big but had a needle biopsy and it is cancer. Now all the tests, and the waiting and waiting. I am going back to work tomorrow. I was laying around wallowing around in feeling sorry for myself. I am a homehealth nurse and have two special needs kids that need me there to take care of them. My family doctor put me on anti-anxiety pills and I am not going to take more, make me sleepy and I need to be strong to fight this!!! Thankyou for writing to me. How long have you had this cancer?
    Mary in California
  • delnative
    delnative Member Posts: 450
    MaryRC said:

    Thankyou Jim
    My PET scan is this Thursday. So far all they know is I have a small lump on the back of my neck,near my hairline. Not very big but had a needle biopsy and it is cancer. Now all the tests, and the waiting and waiting. I am going back to work tomorrow. I was laying around wallowing around in feeling sorry for myself. I am a homehealth nurse and have two special needs kids that need me there to take care of them. My family doctor put me on anti-anxiety pills and I am not going to take more, make me sleepy and I need to be strong to fight this!!! Thankyou for writing to me. How long have you had this cancer?
    Mary in California

    A little update
    Mary: I was diagnosed July 11, 2008 -- my 54th birthday -- and finished treatment in October of that year. I also had a modified radical neck dissection in January 2009 to remove a bum lymph node.
    Today I went back to Johns Hopkins to see my radiology oncologist for a routine checkup, something I get every three months.
    He scoped my throat -- through the nose, of course -- and made approving noises throughout the procedure. Once he pulled the scope out he said, "Your throat is amazing. It looks like you never had radiation." Now he doesn't want to see me for another six months, instead of three.
    Now I had no reason to think anything was wrong, because I had a PET scan in December that came up clear, but still, getting to amaze your doctor is pretty cool.
    You see? Not only can you beat this beast, but you can become a medical marvel!

    --Jim in snowbound Delaware
  • cjamesfu
    cjamesfu Member Posts: 14
    Hello Mary
    Sorry to hear the bad news. But it is OK to cry. Remember the five stages of emotion: denial, angony, negotiation, depression and acceptance? The sooner you get to the stage of acceptance the better. I went through them myself when I was diagnosed with NPC. I allowed myself only five days and never to dwell in one stage more than a day. I constantly checked the status of my emotion so it did not go back and forth. I quickly got to the stage of acceptance. At that time, I was calme and able to cencentrate on the strategy and road map to fight the cancer.