Started rads today

GrandmaJ
GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Everyone said this is so easy, but I don't really think so and I did already have chemo and surgery. Laying on that table with your arms stretched above your head with your breasts hanging out and not being able to move is not my idea of a good time !!! I'm whining I know...sorry

Judy
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Comments

  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    It's OK, Judy...
    Personally, I very much dislike reading posts that state "rads are easy"... Not any one single part of the journey is "easy" - it's all difficult, it's ALL crap!

    No need to be "sorry" about "whining"... You're not whining at all, in my opinion. Especially considering you're describing your very first rads treatment. Yes, it can be both scary and extremely uncomfortable.

    I'll be hoping that, as you continue, it'll get better for you.

    Kind regards, Susan

    P.S.: Your pup is adorable! :-)
  • GrandmaJ
    GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209

    It's OK, Judy...
    Personally, I very much dislike reading posts that state "rads are easy"... Not any one single part of the journey is "easy" - it's all difficult, it's ALL crap!

    No need to be "sorry" about "whining"... You're not whining at all, in my opinion. Especially considering you're describing your very first rads treatment. Yes, it can be both scary and extremely uncomfortable.

    I'll be hoping that, as you continue, it'll get better for you.

    Kind regards, Susan

    P.S.: Your pup is adorable! :-)

    Rads
    Thanks Susan...there are just days when you are sick of all of it and today is one of those days for me... No one even said anything to me about creams or lotions or when to start using them.. Someone suggested Aquaphor and I will use that tonight. I see doctor on Thurs so I guess they'll tell me then.

    My pup is a 10 year old Lhasa named Crystal. Got her when the kids got married and moved out. She's the best dog ever.

    Judy
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    GrandmaJ said:

    Rads
    Thanks Susan...there are just days when you are sick of all of it and today is one of those days for me... No one even said anything to me about creams or lotions or when to start using them.. Someone suggested Aquaphor and I will use that tonight. I see doctor on Thurs so I guess they'll tell me then.

    My pup is a 10 year old Lhasa named Crystal. Got her when the kids got married and moved out. She's the best dog ever.

    Judy

    IT all sucks!
    Be careful using the Aquafor,before treatment...... do NOT USE ANYTHING within 4 hours of your treatment as it can interfer with your treatment! As Aquafor is petroleum based..I was told NOT TO USE IT until my treatment was complete.....but it seems most have used it with no harm........ Also only use a NON Metallic deodorant. I was given two different creams by my oncologist....first RadiaPlex and then Biafine......I much preferred the Biafine.....I was told to use it IMMEDIATELY following each rad treatment, to put it on before you redress.......I did this faithfully, and then 3 more times, the last one at bedtime..my rads were early, 8:00 am.... I turned red then really, really tan.....but never burned. Also be careful when you shower, don't let the water hit directly on your breast and I was told to use Dove, for sensitive skin, soap. Just sort of let some lather run over your breast, don't wash or scrub it.....Also be prepared for being fatigued.....as with chemo, the effects of radiation are cumulative........I felt fine until the start of the 4th week.....then I became very tired, mostly in the afternoon......Radiation effects your red blood cells where chemo is the white blood cells....

    As far as it being easy, none of it is easy.....I, actually, was more frightened of the radiation than the chemo, if that makes any sense....because of the LONG TERM LATE side effects of radiation.....but after the first week, it became "old hat." IT was a pain going 5 days a week for almost 7 weeks, but it does get easier.......it becomes routine. I looked at it as my "job." I think most who say rads is easier than chemo, is because it is so quick....5 minutes of zap time as opposed to 4, give or take, hours sitting in a chair, and then feeling really lousy...It all sucks.....but thankfully it exists! One of my radiation techs was an older man, so caring and compassionate.......The day they were marking me with magic markers, I asked him......."When you were a kid, did you ever think that your job as an adult would be drawing on women's boobs?" He cracked up laughing and said......"Well, I always wanted to be an artist!"

    Try to keep your eye on the FINISH line.......with each day of rads, you get closer to being finished with your treatments and back on the road to recovery and regaining your good health.I marked each day on my calendar with a RED magic marker.....somehow that felt good! I did anything that made me feel better.....IT was a long 8 months........I had surgery in May, Chemo from June to the end of August then rads,33 treatments, the last 7 boosters, and finished Nov.2 ......As of today, I am 3 months out from all treatment...........AND IT FEELS GREAT! Sometimes I look in the mirror and can't believe that I, little old me, went through all that and came out on the otherside, feeling this good.....I'm not ashamed to say, I pat myself on the back daily!!!

    I wish you all the best as you get closer to the finish line....
    Peace be with you!
  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471
    MAJW said:

    IT all sucks!
    Be careful using the Aquafor,before treatment...... do NOT USE ANYTHING within 4 hours of your treatment as it can interfer with your treatment! As Aquafor is petroleum based..I was told NOT TO USE IT until my treatment was complete.....but it seems most have used it with no harm........ Also only use a NON Metallic deodorant. I was given two different creams by my oncologist....first RadiaPlex and then Biafine......I much preferred the Biafine.....I was told to use it IMMEDIATELY following each rad treatment, to put it on before you redress.......I did this faithfully, and then 3 more times, the last one at bedtime..my rads were early, 8:00 am.... I turned red then really, really tan.....but never burned. Also be careful when you shower, don't let the water hit directly on your breast and I was told to use Dove, for sensitive skin, soap. Just sort of let some lather run over your breast, don't wash or scrub it.....Also be prepared for being fatigued.....as with chemo, the effects of radiation are cumulative........I felt fine until the start of the 4th week.....then I became very tired, mostly in the afternoon......Radiation effects your red blood cells where chemo is the white blood cells....

    As far as it being easy, none of it is easy.....I, actually, was more frightened of the radiation than the chemo, if that makes any sense....because of the LONG TERM LATE side effects of radiation.....but after the first week, it became "old hat." IT was a pain going 5 days a week for almost 7 weeks, but it does get easier.......it becomes routine. I looked at it as my "job." I think most who say rads is easier than chemo, is because it is so quick....5 minutes of zap time as opposed to 4, give or take, hours sitting in a chair, and then feeling really lousy...It all sucks.....but thankfully it exists! One of my radiation techs was an older man, so caring and compassionate.......The day they were marking me with magic markers, I asked him......."When you were a kid, did you ever think that your job as an adult would be drawing on women's boobs?" He cracked up laughing and said......"Well, I always wanted to be an artist!"

    Try to keep your eye on the FINISH line.......with each day of rads, you get closer to being finished with your treatments and back on the road to recovery and regaining your good health.I marked each day on my calendar with a RED magic marker.....somehow that felt good! I did anything that made me feel better.....IT was a long 8 months........I had surgery in May, Chemo from June to the end of August then rads,33 treatments, the last 7 boosters, and finished Nov.2 ......As of today, I am 3 months out from all treatment...........AND IT FEELS GREAT! Sometimes I look in the mirror and can't believe that I, little old me, went through all that and came out on the otherside, feeling this good.....I'm not ashamed to say, I pat myself on the back daily!!!

    I wish you all the best as you get closer to the finish line....
    Peace be with you!

    i agree none of it is easy!
    none of it is easy i did not like rads at all! was very glad when it was over.i burnt so bad and i wasnt allowed to use anything but cornstarch through 33 treatments ,wishing you the best of luck .


    teresa
  • GrandmaJ
    GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209
    MAJW said:

    IT all sucks!
    Be careful using the Aquafor,before treatment...... do NOT USE ANYTHING within 4 hours of your treatment as it can interfer with your treatment! As Aquafor is petroleum based..I was told NOT TO USE IT until my treatment was complete.....but it seems most have used it with no harm........ Also only use a NON Metallic deodorant. I was given two different creams by my oncologist....first RadiaPlex and then Biafine......I much preferred the Biafine.....I was told to use it IMMEDIATELY following each rad treatment, to put it on before you redress.......I did this faithfully, and then 3 more times, the last one at bedtime..my rads were early, 8:00 am.... I turned red then really, really tan.....but never burned. Also be careful when you shower, don't let the water hit directly on your breast and I was told to use Dove, for sensitive skin, soap. Just sort of let some lather run over your breast, don't wash or scrub it.....Also be prepared for being fatigued.....as with chemo, the effects of radiation are cumulative........I felt fine until the start of the 4th week.....then I became very tired, mostly in the afternoon......Radiation effects your red blood cells where chemo is the white blood cells....

    As far as it being easy, none of it is easy.....I, actually, was more frightened of the radiation than the chemo, if that makes any sense....because of the LONG TERM LATE side effects of radiation.....but after the first week, it became "old hat." IT was a pain going 5 days a week for almost 7 weeks, but it does get easier.......it becomes routine. I looked at it as my "job." I think most who say rads is easier than chemo, is because it is so quick....5 minutes of zap time as opposed to 4, give or take, hours sitting in a chair, and then feeling really lousy...It all sucks.....but thankfully it exists! One of my radiation techs was an older man, so caring and compassionate.......The day they were marking me with magic markers, I asked him......."When you were a kid, did you ever think that your job as an adult would be drawing on women's boobs?" He cracked up laughing and said......"Well, I always wanted to be an artist!"

    Try to keep your eye on the FINISH line.......with each day of rads, you get closer to being finished with your treatments and back on the road to recovery and regaining your good health.I marked each day on my calendar with a RED magic marker.....somehow that felt good! I did anything that made me feel better.....IT was a long 8 months........I had surgery in May, Chemo from June to the end of August then rads,33 treatments, the last 7 boosters, and finished Nov.2 ......As of today, I am 3 months out from all treatment...........AND IT FEELS GREAT! Sometimes I look in the mirror and can't believe that I, little old me, went through all that and came out on the otherside, feeling this good.....I'm not ashamed to say, I pat myself on the back daily!!!

    I wish you all the best as you get closer to the finish line....
    Peace be with you!

    MAJW
    THANK YOU so much for all your wonderful information. I started with chemo in late July, then surgey the beginning of Dec., now radiation... It is a long tough journey, and like you, I am surprised that I have gotten through all of it and continued to work. Yes, I'm counting the days till I'm finished with treatment and have a trip to Vegas planned in early summer with a group of my girlfriends (we leave the husbands at home ) and retirement !!!

    Luckily I work at a hospital, so radiation is just a matter of running downstairs on my lunch hour. I'm going to e-mail my oncologists nurse about the creams. I feel they should have said something today.

    Thanks again,
    Judy
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    Yeah but it's only for a few
    Yeah but it's only for a few minutes as opposed to a few hours! lol!
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    Hang in there!
    and shame on them for not telling you about what creams to use!!!

    I haven't started rads yet, but from reading other posts it seems very important to start using something right away to keep yourself from getting burned. I hope your oncologist will respond quickly so that you can take good care of yourself.

    I also will echo that none of this is easy. I guess for many rads seem "easy" by comparison with chemo, but I don't think that anyone that made a remark like that would just sign up for rads for the fun of it either.

    Just try to remember that this is all for a purpose and it's worth it to keep enduring so that you can keep enduring!

    ((((HUGS))))
    Cindy
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    I hope you hear back from
    I hope you hear back from your doc regarding cream to use. My rads team only recommended Aloe for the entire time. They actually had a bottle of it in the dressing room and it was there for anyone who wanted to use it. I always lathered up after my treatment and again a couple of times throughout the day. I turned a deep pink at the end with the boosters but really didn't have too bad of a time with it. Good luck, Judy, it will be over soon!! Take care.
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    GrandmaJ said:

    MAJW
    THANK YOU so much for all your wonderful information. I started with chemo in late July, then surgey the beginning of Dec., now radiation... It is a long tough journey, and like you, I am surprised that I have gotten through all of it and continued to work. Yes, I'm counting the days till I'm finished with treatment and have a trip to Vegas planned in early summer with a group of my girlfriends (we leave the husbands at home ) and retirement !!!

    Luckily I work at a hospital, so radiation is just a matter of running downstairs on my lunch hour. I'm going to e-mail my oncologists nurse about the creams. I feel they should have said something today.

    Thanks again,
    Judy

    Rads
    Rads are doable, but, they are not easy. I agree with Susan that I really dislike when people use that word "easy" with them. You will get thru it and we will help you however we can.

    Start using your cremes from day one and don't stop until a few weeks after you are done. I used Biafine and Aquaphor. I never burnt, nor did I tan. My cancer center had a new machine so the tan part doesn't happen with the machine. I did get dark pink, but, no burn. It is exhausing, just the daily part of doing it and it does zap your energy. So, get lots of rest. Be gentle with your skin. I used Dove soap and my rads oncologist approved it since it is so mild.

    Good luck!

    ♥ Noel
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    Nothing about BC is easy.
    I have to say that I thought radiation was easy compared to waiting 10 days for a biopsy, 5 more days for the results, 5 more days to schedule the cat scan, mri, and bone scan. 3 more days to get those results. Then, another 3 weeks to wait for surgery to find out if it was in my lymph nodes. Another 2 weeks for the oncotype DX test. Enough with the waiting. Treatment was MUCH easier than the waiting. It may be different for you but that's how I feel.

    Roseann
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    Judy, Judy, Judy,
    (Bet you

    Judy, Judy, Judy,
    (Bet you haven't heard THAT before!!) I'm a third of the way thru rads (day 11). By day 4 I felt as though I was trying to smuggle a roasted melon. Then it got better, then it got itchy. But, I totally agree about the positioning. Not only is your arm over your head, but then the techs like to stretch it just a little bit more.

    I also think that the table is too hard, and the headrest hurts like the devil and yadda, yadda yadda. We all have good, better and not so good days. Venting is a wonderful thing. So are the wonderful, brave people on this site.

    I also have fibromyalgia, and between the cold and the rads, I hurt. So, I just scheduled a massage. I found someone who is certified and understands bc, lymphodema andd fibromyalgia. This is going to be a luxury - I'm still out of work and will be thru Feb. but, ooohh, I can't wait.

    So, vent and find ways to pamper yourself - no one deserves it more than you! Chocolate, a fuzzy blanket, a pet on your lap, whatever!

    Sue
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    Rads no Breeze for me, Either
    Judy, I am with you on the lying on the table getting radiated. It was emotionally difficult, and I realized one difference with chemo is that I was alone, and naked to my waist, exposed and surrounded by people and machines. Whereas, with chemo I was sitting in a comfy recliner with my devoted husband, in a public place where I could talk, read, watch tv, or just snooze. I was not expecting rads to be as tiring or emotionally difficult as they were.

    During my treatment, the support of our friends and sisters here pulled me and Joe through many times. Noel, my favorite kitty, started a thread awhile back for Rads,--think it was titled "Questions about Rads," or something similar. You can search for it. Noel started it twice, I believe. Many sisters responded, providing excellent advice. I also benefited from posts back in the summer, when I was getting treatment. You might find those posts helpful, too.

    Oh, by the way, you're not whining. It's called venting, and you've got reasons, which we all understand.
  • jbug
    jbug Member Posts: 285
    GrandmaJ said:

    MAJW
    THANK YOU so much for all your wonderful information. I started with chemo in late July, then surgey the beginning of Dec., now radiation... It is a long tough journey, and like you, I am surprised that I have gotten through all of it and continued to work. Yes, I'm counting the days till I'm finished with treatment and have a trip to Vegas planned in early summer with a group of my girlfriends (we leave the husbands at home ) and retirement !!!

    Luckily I work at a hospital, so radiation is just a matter of running downstairs on my lunch hour. I'm going to e-mail my oncologists nurse about the creams. I feel they should have said something today.

    Thanks again,
    Judy

    Judy
    It's ok to say it sucks! I didn't have chemo, but read a lot of posts! It so sounds like those of you who have to battle w/chemo and rads have really been put thru it. My treatments were so fast! I too work in the same hospital where I got treatments, so 10 minutes was really about it each day.

    Your right though, it sucks to go in everyday and get 1/2 naked in front of strangers. It is still part of the battle! I do hope it gets better for you.

    Saw that others mentioned the lotions (only what they give you) and nothing 4 hours before. Ironically, i didn't get teaching until my second week (got the lotions though) and the only reason I knew about the 4 hr no-lotion rules was because of the sisters on this site!

    Good luck w/rest of rads. Lotion, Lotion, Lotion and rest! God Bless...
    Julie
  • GrandmaJ
    GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209
    Moopy23 said:

    Rads no Breeze for me, Either
    Judy, I am with you on the lying on the table getting radiated. It was emotionally difficult, and I realized one difference with chemo is that I was alone, and naked to my waist, exposed and surrounded by people and machines. Whereas, with chemo I was sitting in a comfy recliner with my devoted husband, in a public place where I could talk, read, watch tv, or just snooze. I was not expecting rads to be as tiring or emotionally difficult as they were.

    During my treatment, the support of our friends and sisters here pulled me and Joe through many times. Noel, my favorite kitty, started a thread awhile back for Rads,--think it was titled "Questions about Rads," or something similar. You can search for it. Noel started it twice, I believe. Many sisters responded, providing excellent advice. I also benefited from posts back in the summer, when I was getting treatment. You might find those posts helpful, too.

    Oh, by the way, you're not whining. It's called venting, and you've got reasons, which we all understand.

    Rads no breeze
    I was thinking the same thing. Though the effects of chemo were no fun, you experienced them at home where you could rest and recuperate and while getting chemo, you were sitting in a nice comfortable chair with your friend or husband, sipping ginger ale, eating a cookie, watching TV, etc. Yes, rads are easier, but still embarassing lying there half naked like you said with all sorts of people coming in and out of the room checking the machines and lining up your tatoos... It is just more stressful than I expected. Guess I was thinking it would be like having a chest x-ray....

    All you gals have helped me immensely today. As I said before, I wish I had found this site when I was first diagnosed. I only found it right after my chemo and surgery. But nevertheless I am so happy to have found all of you.

    Judy
  • GrandmaJ
    GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209
    sbmly53 said:

    Judy, Judy, Judy,
    (Bet you

    Judy, Judy, Judy,
    (Bet you haven't heard THAT before!!) I'm a third of the way thru rads (day 11). By day 4 I felt as though I was trying to smuggle a roasted melon. Then it got better, then it got itchy. But, I totally agree about the positioning. Not only is your arm over your head, but then the techs like to stretch it just a little bit more.

    I also think that the table is too hard, and the headrest hurts like the devil and yadda, yadda yadda. We all have good, better and not so good days. Venting is a wonderful thing. So are the wonderful, brave people on this site.

    I also have fibromyalgia, and between the cold and the rads, I hurt. So, I just scheduled a massage. I found someone who is certified and understands bc, lymphodema andd fibromyalgia. This is going to be a luxury - I'm still out of work and will be thru Feb. but, ooohh, I can't wait.

    So, vent and find ways to pamper yourself - no one deserves it more than you! Chocolate, a fuzzy blanket, a pet on your lap, whatever!

    Sue

    Rads
    Yeah what's with that uncomfortable head rest. Don't they have pillows? You start thinking...what the heck did I do to deserve this? I've been a good person all my life... no history of bc in my family, I never smoked or drank or had my children late in life...

    My sister in law was also diagnosed with bc a few months after me and is at day 11 with radiation and she has been fine....no burning or itching ....hope I do as well.

    My daughter will be visiting in 10 days with my beautiful 2 yr old granddaughter. That's what keeps me fighting.

    Judy
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    GrandmaJ said:

    Rads no breeze
    I was thinking the same thing. Though the effects of chemo were no fun, you experienced them at home where you could rest and recuperate and while getting chemo, you were sitting in a nice comfortable chair with your friend or husband, sipping ginger ale, eating a cookie, watching TV, etc. Yes, rads are easier, but still embarassing lying there half naked like you said with all sorts of people coming in and out of the room checking the machines and lining up your tatoos... It is just more stressful than I expected. Guess I was thinking it would be like having a chest x-ray....

    All you gals have helped me immensely today. As I said before, I wish I had found this site when I was first diagnosed. I only found it right after my chemo and surgery. But nevertheless I am so happy to have found all of you.

    Judy

    I'm with Moopy & Judy
    Moopy, thank you for describing how you felt during rads -- it makes me feel better, because you've described so closely how I felt.

    I sobbed through my first radiation treatment -- being alone in that cavernous room half naked, with that HUGE alien machine moving around me. I knew that it made no logical sense for me to be terrified, but I was. And there was also the sense of "I have to do this 32 MORE TIMES" that was just overwhelming.

    I do agree with those who say that rads is easiER than chemo -- NOT easy, by any means, but easier to cope with side effects that primarily affected only one area of my body, rather than every single system in my body, like chemo did. But yes, the nature of chemo treatment is that you can have a lot more support during chemo than you can during rads, and that really helps.

    Traci
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    TraciInLA said:

    I'm with Moopy & Judy
    Moopy, thank you for describing how you felt during rads -- it makes me feel better, because you've described so closely how I felt.

    I sobbed through my first radiation treatment -- being alone in that cavernous room half naked, with that HUGE alien machine moving around me. I knew that it made no logical sense for me to be terrified, but I was. And there was also the sense of "I have to do this 32 MORE TIMES" that was just overwhelming.

    I do agree with those who say that rads is easiER than chemo -- NOT easy, by any means, but easier to cope with side effects that primarily affected only one area of my body, rather than every single system in my body, like chemo did. But yes, the nature of chemo treatment is that you can have a lot more support during chemo than you can during rads, and that really helps.

    Traci

    I also agree how hard it was
    I also agree how hard it was to lay there naked. I had 2 male techs and 2 female techs that rotated sifts so I never knew who was going to be "zapping" me. I use to lay there and repeat in my head "die cancer, die cancer" over and over. It helped me get through the embarrassment of it all.
  • blackroze1000
    blackroze1000 Member Posts: 50
    Starting my Rads tomorrow, Judy
    I've been through rads before with head/neck cancer, but I was covered from head to toe in a gown, jeans, etc. I never really thought about the embarassment factor of lying there cold and half naked. Not a pretty picture. But I will endure, as all of our sisters have, and in time this will all be behind me. I forgot about having to use particular creams and soaps and deoderants, etc. I go into see the rad doctor today for more info on tomorrow's procedure. Thanks to all of you, I will now ask about all of that.

    When I recently went in to be marked up, it didn't hurt of course, so I thought I was just fine. But when they put me into the machine, I started crying because it brought back so many bad memories of my first cancer. Judy, from my prior experience, I know rads are not easy. You're in a constant state of "I can't believe this is happening to me." Then after a few weeks, you feel like you've been hit by a bus, you're so tired. But you get through it, you pick yourself up, and you move on to live another beautiful day. And the one lesson you'll learn from all of this is that you are stronger than you know . . .

    My prayers are with you!

    Elaine
  • GrandmaJ
    GrandmaJ Member Posts: 209

    Starting my Rads tomorrow, Judy
    I've been through rads before with head/neck cancer, but I was covered from head to toe in a gown, jeans, etc. I never really thought about the embarassment factor of lying there cold and half naked. Not a pretty picture. But I will endure, as all of our sisters have, and in time this will all be behind me. I forgot about having to use particular creams and soaps and deoderants, etc. I go into see the rad doctor today for more info on tomorrow's procedure. Thanks to all of you, I will now ask about all of that.

    When I recently went in to be marked up, it didn't hurt of course, so I thought I was just fine. But when they put me into the machine, I started crying because it brought back so many bad memories of my first cancer. Judy, from my prior experience, I know rads are not easy. You're in a constant state of "I can't believe this is happening to me." Then after a few weeks, you feel like you've been hit by a bus, you're so tired. But you get through it, you pick yourself up, and you move on to live another beautiful day. And the one lesson you'll learn from all of this is that you are stronger than you know . . .

    My prayers are with you!

    Elaine

    Second rads today
    Second day went rather quickly. Was back at my desk in 20 minutes. I'm worried about the fatigue and if I can continue to work, so I've applied for an extension of my Family Leave just in case. Funny, how things hit you all of a sudden. I never broke down during chemo or after the surgery, but before rads when I had to have a CAT scan, I looked at that machine and started crying.

    I guess we all try to be strong in front of family and friends and try to look our best so they don't worry, but eventually it hits us and we have to give way to our emotions. Sometimes its crying, sometimes its anger, but it is a necessary part of this whole lousy journey we are on.

    Judy
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    GrandmaJ said:

    Second rads today
    Second day went rather quickly. Was back at my desk in 20 minutes. I'm worried about the fatigue and if I can continue to work, so I've applied for an extension of my Family Leave just in case. Funny, how things hit you all of a sudden. I never broke down during chemo or after the surgery, but before rads when I had to have a CAT scan, I looked at that machine and started crying.

    I guess we all try to be strong in front of family and friends and try to look our best so they don't worry, but eventually it hits us and we have to give way to our emotions. Sometimes its crying, sometimes its anger, but it is a necessary part of this whole lousy journey we are on.

    Judy

    Judy, I have read all of
    Judy, I have read all of this thread, and boy did it bring back memories that I really thought were long gone (although it was only a year ago that I completed rads). You are so right in that lying on that table with upper body exposed to the world is a complete embarrassment. Just always remember that the machine is helping you to beat this beast, and get on with your life. I talked to the machine every day, and kept mumbling under my breath so I didn't look like a complete idiot to the techs. We all have our own way of couping with b/c, and I think whatever you do to calm yourself, the techs have probably seen it already. With all you have been through already, you will get through this as well. Just keep your eye on the end of treatment, and remember you can always come here to find the comfort of others. By the way, we now have three Judy's who are posting on this board, so hope everyone can keep us straight. I'm the oldest! Take care of yourself, and we will all take this journey with you. Hugs.

    Judy