Question for Phillieg

Lilmiss82
Lilmiss82 Member Posts: 257 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I wanted to pm you but I didn't know how. Anyways I wanted to ask you a question regarding a post to the RESPECT discussion. It was to a newbie and states that he has only made three post since joining. I am new to this board too and don't post often because to be frank this disease has scared the crap out of me, sometimes I tell myself not to look at the post because I'm afraid of discovering another member has passed away. I may not personally know the ones that have passed away but everytime I see those post I cry as if they were my friend or family member. I just turned 28 on 1/18 and was dx with stage iv in April of 09. I wonder if I will ever see my 30th birthday daily and regret the fact that I don't have children and may never have them. Anyways, my question to you is because I am a newbie and don't post often does that make me less of a member, do I have to constantly reply to post in order to be part of this family? Do I have less knowledge, less experience with cancer, or am less capable to relate emoitionally because I don't post to every dicussion. I am a lurker but really feel connected to this group I hope I'm not coming off rude or immature but please tell me honsetly. Will you veterans not accept me here if I do not post frequently? I thank you for taking the time to read this and really will appreciate your response. Again I'm not trying to be a brat maybe i just misunderstood your response to the RESPECTE discussion but I really want to be part of this family you guys are the only one that truly give me hope and inspiration. You matter to me and I hope I matter to you:)
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Comments

  • papajedi
    papajedi Member Posts: 110
    You Are:)
    We are all joined in a way that is hard to describe. Most if not all can say we like you are scared....very scared. I want to say that you are NOT alone, here and at the colon club you will find help, solace and as you learn this disease cane be beaten :) In time you will see the fear will fade and questions will be easier to ask.


    Sincerely, Robert
  • Lilmiss82
    Lilmiss82 Member Posts: 257 Member
    papajedi said:

    You Are:)
    We are all joined in a way that is hard to describe. Most if not all can say we like you are scared....very scared. I want to say that you are NOT alone, here and at the colon club you will find help, solace and as you learn this disease cane be beaten :) In time you will see the fear will fade and questions will be easier to ask.


    Sincerely, Robert

    Thank you Robert
    You read my mind at times I do feel alone since I am so young. It nice to be reminded that I'm not :)
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    Age
    Age has nothing to do with it, we are not joined because of age, we are joined because of cancer. Hopefully you are able to learn from the discussions, learn that the things you are going through each one of our family is going thru. All the anxiety, worry, treatments, side effects, affects all, those with the cancer and their caregivers. When you want to join in, please do. If you just want to read and learn, that is good also. Whatever you decide, please come and post to us once in a while letting us know how you are doing, how your treatments are going, and please do post any questions you may have. Take care - Tina
  • lcarper2
    lcarper2 Member Posts: 635 Member
    lilmiss82
    Please know that once you join this room you are apart of it .I only joined myself around the same time as you and I feel apart of this room I think Phil made the remark because she blasted him and he just reacted . I beat cancer I am not going to let anyone make me mad because he wants to make comments about me or someone else. His only source must be someone here. I was in the law enforcement field for 30 plus years and Phil is just someone who likes drama but please don't let him get to you. He is all talk. You are very young to have cancer you need to worry about the fight ahead of you. Bless You and will be praying for you...

    Louann
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Welcome
    You are most welcome at anytime. There are others on this board that have more expertize that me and respond more, but you're posts are always relevant. I lurked as well before actually signing up. We are all "newbies" at one time and some just want the comfort of knowing that there is knowledge on these boards, others want to express concern, others want to vent. There are many reasons why this board is so valuable to anyone. Please know that you are a valued part of this "family" and don't ever think you aren't. For whatever reason you post is a valid reason.

    Kim
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    Yep...
    What they all said....
    I joined about the same time you did but lurked for quite a while before making a post. I'm just sorry that you had to search for us, but glad you're here!!


    Please keep posting!!!
  • JDuke
    JDuke Member Posts: 438
    lcarper2 said:

    lilmiss82
    Please know that once you join this room you are apart of it .I only joined myself around the same time as you and I feel apart of this room I think Phil made the remark because she blasted him and he just reacted . I beat cancer I am not going to let anyone make me mad because he wants to make comments about me or someone else. His only source must be someone here. I was in the law enforcement field for 30 plus years and Phil is just someone who likes drama but please don't let him get to you. He is all talk. You are very young to have cancer you need to worry about the fight ahead of you. Bless You and will be praying for you...

    Louann

    lilmiss82
    I am so glad that you found this site. I would like to welome you to a really great family of knowledgeable and caring people. I have only been here since Dec.09 and I have posted a few things encouraging others who may be hesitant to post, to do so. Never was my intention to criticize anyone who chooses not to post. My comments came from my own initial self-conciousness until I realized that eloquency was not as important as content and sincerity. There is a wealth of comfort and experience here and I hope that you will benefit from it. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.
    Blessings,
    Joanne
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    HollyID said:

    Yep...
    What they all said....
    I joined about the same time you did but lurked for quite a while before making a post. I'm just sorry that you had to search for us, but glad you're here!!


    Please keep posting!!!

    Hi
    Been on this board since Nov 2008, left for awhile because the board got to heavy for me, but joined up again......

    I leave for CABO, 6 am tonorrow morning, chat with you soon.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    You belong!
    Please feel like you really DO belong to this board! You need it, we need you. We're sometimes a dysfunctional family here, but in general we're a supportive group, and some of the people here know a lot about the different aspects of cancer. You will find answers to just about all of it here!

    I've been on here since right after my diagnosis in Nov. '07, and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be, because I was diagnosed at Stage 1 and have little to contribute to discussions of chemo, etc. However, I have found that when friends are diagnosed, I am able to offer them comfort and advice because of what I have learned here.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    Welcome !
    Lilmiss82 -

    Welcome! And to let you know - I lurked for awhile also, and I had
    to stop reading here due to the amount of depression I was feeling.
    It's difficult to see anyone suffering; it's a difficult thing to be witness to.

    I'm more than twice your age, but age is no factor with cancer, anymore
    than it's a factor with what you have to say here.

    I hate to speak for anyone else, but I do feel it necessary to say something
    for Phil.

    It's very difficult to always put into text, what your brain wants say verbally.
    It can make matters even more difficult, when a reader mis-reads a statement.

    Phil was not saying that an individual's newness to this forum should be reason
    for that person to not post.... He said that for someone so new to the board as
    that individual appeared to be, that person did not know Phil well enough to judge him.

    There's a big difference in the context of that. And I've fallen to the wrath of
    out-of-context retorts as well. Have no fear, we all will have our day... (haha)

    To tell you the truth, none of us know anyone else well enough to pass judgement,
    and we shouldn't be passing judgement, anyway.

    The entire issue of "prayer threads" got so far out of context, that it's like a
    Saturday Night Live episode. Everyone's beating up someone else. If anyone
    went back and re-read the statements, they would (or should) realize their feud
    is ill rooted.

    That's life out "here"!

    Back to business?

    Don't fear your cancer. Allowing fear to drive you, will take you to places you
    didn't intend to go.

    There are many stage four cancer victims here, all surviving for longer than
    their doctors expected. No-one can predict your future, so just take a day at a time,
    and read as much about cancer as you can.

    Read people's stories that relate to the type of cancer you have, and how they
    managed to overcome the dreaded cell mutations. It's all as possible as the
    morning sun. You have to have faith that you will succeed fighting cancer cells.

    I agree with you, that this forum can be incredibly depressing, but there are too
    few other forums available. The great thing about this forum, is that there is no
    censorship regarding the posting of all the types of treatments and options available.

    With your choices, you should be careful to investigate well, everything you read.
    It really doesn't take that much to do some research.

    But regardless of what you do, or the choices you make for fighting you cancer,
    do not fear your cancer; do not allow fear to guide you.

    You're gonna' do just fine.

    Enjoy the forum, and don't take things here too seriously. We're all just plain
    ol' people; all here for the same reason, and all worried about the same things.


    John
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Lilmiss
    I am sorry that you are here for the cancer. I am also sorry that you came in during one of the times that there is a dispute going on. The fact that you are new means to me that you are scared and that you need help/advise on what yuo might expect from chemo and it's side effects, what operations are like, how to treat depression, loss of hair or appetite, skin issues, all sorts of the things we experience.

    The reason I made the comment to that "newbie" is that earlier in the day I had responded through a email on the site to a member about comments he made concerning false statements he made about me on the site. "Knowing" this person for a few years on here and how he often behaves, it was rather easy to see that it wasn't a new person at all. It was the guy who didn't like what I said to him in the private email so rather than email back with his take on what he said, he felt if was better to create a new persona on here and attack me in public. I mean, he created the persona today and all 3 posts were attacks to me or one other member who said something on the site he did not like either. I highly doubt that anyone can join today and (think they) know things about me that suggest a long pattern of behavior. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out.

    I have nothing but the desire to help the newbies as we tend to call them. There are times when other members like Buzzard do a better job and calming them than I do. I have undergone many treatments though and have been at this for 6 years non-stop so I have much to offer in thta respect. Generally new people do not want to hear stories that this could go on longer than they expect but I feel I also offer the hope that one can live a "feisty" life with cancer. Cancer doesn't end life, often it lets it really begin. Everyone dies but not everyone gets a wakeup call so we can enjoy things more that if we didn't ever think of dying.

    There, cheerful enough?
    :-)

    I am very sorry for your DX (diagnosis). It stinks at any age but it's worse for younger people I think. I love my kids and they help me through this but cancer really scares the crap out of me because I don't want to lose them or have them lose me when they are only 16 & 9. It's a double edge sword.

    I apologize, I did not show my best side at all but it is a part of me. I feel strongly about certain things but I always think that support is crucial to us getting through this. There are many ways of support and prayer is a big one that I think is wonderful. How it's conveyed is not a B&W issue at all. Therein lies the problem.
    I will email you (PM, email, same thing) and the next time you get on the site you should see it.
    Best
    -p
  • earthperson2010
    earthperson2010 Member Posts: 15
    PhillieG said:

    Lilmiss
    I am sorry that you are here for the cancer. I am also sorry that you came in during one of the times that there is a dispute going on. The fact that you are new means to me that you are scared and that you need help/advise on what yuo might expect from chemo and it's side effects, what operations are like, how to treat depression, loss of hair or appetite, skin issues, all sorts of the things we experience.

    The reason I made the comment to that "newbie" is that earlier in the day I had responded through a email on the site to a member about comments he made concerning false statements he made about me on the site. "Knowing" this person for a few years on here and how he often behaves, it was rather easy to see that it wasn't a new person at all. It was the guy who didn't like what I said to him in the private email so rather than email back with his take on what he said, he felt if was better to create a new persona on here and attack me in public. I mean, he created the persona today and all 3 posts were attacks to me or one other member who said something on the site he did not like either. I highly doubt that anyone can join today and (think they) know things about me that suggest a long pattern of behavior. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out.

    I have nothing but the desire to help the newbies as we tend to call them. There are times when other members like Buzzard do a better job and calming them than I do. I have undergone many treatments though and have been at this for 6 years non-stop so I have much to offer in thta respect. Generally new people do not want to hear stories that this could go on longer than they expect but I feel I also offer the hope that one can live a "feisty" life with cancer. Cancer doesn't end life, often it lets it really begin. Everyone dies but not everyone gets a wakeup call so we can enjoy things more that if we didn't ever think of dying.

    There, cheerful enough?
    :-)

    I am very sorry for your DX (diagnosis). It stinks at any age but it's worse for younger people I think. I love my kids and they help me through this but cancer really scares the crap out of me because I don't want to lose them or have them lose me when they are only 16 & 9. It's a double edge sword.

    I apologize, I did not show my best side at all but it is a part of me. I feel strongly about certain things but I always think that support is crucial to us getting through this. There are many ways of support and prayer is a big one that I think is wonderful. How it's conveyed is not a B&W issue at all. Therein lies the problem.
    I will email you (PM, email, same thing) and the next time you get on the site you should see it.
    Best
    -p

    I am not Greg
    phillieg,

    you are very entertaining....i have never read any email from you. i hope you will get cured and meet NED. it may happen if you pray for it. i will pray for you.
  • I am not Greg
    phillieg,

    you are very entertaining....i have never read any email from you. i hope you will get cured and meet NED. it may happen if you pray for it. i will pray for you.

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    Newbies
    *I* want you here! Post, don't post. Post occasionally. Post on an emotional thread and get in the thick of it. I still want you here. Welcome. I hope you find what you are looking for...hope and time. That's all any of us want.

    Out wit, Out play, Outlast!

    Kimby, the 'soul' survivor
  • usakat
    usakat Member Posts: 610 Member
    You matter! You matter to me...
    Hello Lil Miss!

    Gosh, I was graduating from high school when you were born...eek! Now THAT is scary! Sheesh, where has all the time gone?

    Well, Lil', let me start by saying WELCOME! And you, by all rights and privileges, are a SEMICOLON! Not exactly DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution), but we're all survivors. You are a survivor too.

    I, and everyone here, truly understands your fears and concerns. It's part of the process of coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis. It's tough - when the diagnosis comes it really knocks us off center and it can be very difficult to find our equilibrium again. The trick is to just do it...just like everything else in life...when we fall, we get back up, lift our heads to the day, and go for it! Make the choice my dear, to keep living. Keep living, loving, learning and growing in spite of cancer. It's your life, although unfortunately right now it is a life that includes cancer.

    Cancer sucks...period. It sucks! A crap filled Twinkie is a crap filled Twinkie. Nothing makes it any better.

    I know about the children thing. I thought I had plenty of time for babies until cancer changed my plans. I would like to say I don't regret not having children - that would be a lie - but even without kids I'm happy and blessed beyond measure. I know if I do decide to be a mother I can adopt, and although it is not the same, I know it never was my ovaries that would have made me a mom. It will be my love and my life and what I as a whole person can give a child that will make me a mom.

    You're dealing with some tough stuff right now, Lil. It's okay to feel what you feel...mad, sad, scared... It is hard at any age to be introduced to the idea of life being a finite engagement, but you can look at it this way...you are learning now just how precious life really is, that it is not something to take for granted. With that thought, try to start thinking about turning the tide on your cancer. Take back your power, take back your life.

    Something to think about: You have cancer - cancer does NOT have you!

    Try meditating on that thought. I'll check up on you in a couple of days, until then check out these links:

    The Survivor Movie

    More resources:
    The Cancer Crusade

    Crazy Sexy Cancer

    Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

    Recommended Reading:
    Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr
    and her website: Crazy Sexy Life

    The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan

    Your Own Journal by LilMiss82

    I wrote this to another friend here yesterday...
    “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

    Many blessings to you Lil, for comfort, healing and peace of mind....

    Katie
  • PGLGreg
    PGLGreg Member Posts: 731
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Greg
    It's a little confusing, but I think the "Greg" referred to might be me. I assure you that earthperson2010 is not me, and should not be blamed for anything I have said. It may be that earthperson2010 does not understand why he is being attacked. Sorry that I can't help, because I don't understand, either.

    --Greg
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    Lilmiss82
    Welcome to this board. I too do not post too often. I try to post and I often come and read and most often find others to be much more eloquent and have a sense of wit in writing than I do. I certainly love reading the posts of encouragement and like you, I cry nearly every time I come to this board. It saddens me to read that you are new here. Stage IV at 28. How the heck did that happen?
    I joined here to get emotional support for myself since my sister (then 39) was dx stage IV at 39.
    I try not to read too much into the banter, try not to take anything personally, and something I have learned is that e-mail, internet and blogging can be interpreted incorrectly.
    Anyways, if you ever need to talk please I am here to listen and lend support. I wish you a dance with NED very soon and that you may enjoy all of life's pleasures for many years to come.
    Blessings, Marie
  • papajedi
    papajedi Member Posts: 110
    usakat said:

    You matter! You matter to me...
    Hello Lil Miss!

    Gosh, I was graduating from high school when you were born...eek! Now THAT is scary! Sheesh, where has all the time gone?

    Well, Lil', let me start by saying WELCOME! And you, by all rights and privileges, are a SEMICOLON! Not exactly DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution), but we're all survivors. You are a survivor too.

    I, and everyone here, truly understands your fears and concerns. It's part of the process of coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis. It's tough - when the diagnosis comes it really knocks us off center and it can be very difficult to find our equilibrium again. The trick is to just do it...just like everything else in life...when we fall, we get back up, lift our heads to the day, and go for it! Make the choice my dear, to keep living. Keep living, loving, learning and growing in spite of cancer. It's your life, although unfortunately right now it is a life that includes cancer.

    Cancer sucks...period. It sucks! A crap filled Twinkie is a crap filled Twinkie. Nothing makes it any better.

    I know about the children thing. I thought I had plenty of time for babies until cancer changed my plans. I would like to say I don't regret not having children - that would be a lie - but even without kids I'm happy and blessed beyond measure. I know if I do decide to be a mother I can adopt, and although it is not the same, I know it never was my ovaries that would have made me a mom. It will be my love and my life and what I as a whole person can give a child that will make me a mom.

    You're dealing with some tough stuff right now, Lil. It's okay to feel what you feel...mad, sad, scared... It is hard at any age to be introduced to the idea of life being a finite engagement, but you can look at it this way...you are learning now just how precious life really is, that it is not something to take for granted. With that thought, try to start thinking about turning the tide on your cancer. Take back your power, take back your life.

    Something to think about: You have cancer - cancer does NOT have you!

    Try meditating on that thought. I'll check up on you in a couple of days, until then check out these links:

    The Survivor Movie

    More resources:
    The Cancer Crusade

    Crazy Sexy Cancer

    Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

    Recommended Reading:
    Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr
    and her website: Crazy Sexy Life

    The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan

    Your Own Journal by LilMiss82

    I wrote this to another friend here yesterday...
    “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

    Many blessings to you Lil, for comfort, healing and peace of mind....

    Katie

    Wow
    Thot I had read everything :) Quite a list, have you read them all?
  • ittapp
    ittapp Member Posts: 383 Member
    You matter to me
    I do not post often but I feel I am as much of a part of this family as anyone. I am not up for the debate on Christianity...just don't want to go down that road but will say that my faith is strong and will continue praying for my family. Regardless of what anyone thinks, it is just what I do and will continue to do.No offense to anyone person, it's just how I roll.I would not be doing the lords work if I did not keep him in the forefront of my mind and that is going to ooze into discussions. Patti
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    usakat said:

    You matter! You matter to me...
    Hello Lil Miss!

    Gosh, I was graduating from high school when you were born...eek! Now THAT is scary! Sheesh, where has all the time gone?

    Well, Lil', let me start by saying WELCOME! And you, by all rights and privileges, are a SEMICOLON! Not exactly DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution), but we're all survivors. You are a survivor too.

    I, and everyone here, truly understands your fears and concerns. It's part of the process of coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis. It's tough - when the diagnosis comes it really knocks us off center and it can be very difficult to find our equilibrium again. The trick is to just do it...just like everything else in life...when we fall, we get back up, lift our heads to the day, and go for it! Make the choice my dear, to keep living. Keep living, loving, learning and growing in spite of cancer. It's your life, although unfortunately right now it is a life that includes cancer.

    Cancer sucks...period. It sucks! A crap filled Twinkie is a crap filled Twinkie. Nothing makes it any better.

    I know about the children thing. I thought I had plenty of time for babies until cancer changed my plans. I would like to say I don't regret not having children - that would be a lie - but even without kids I'm happy and blessed beyond measure. I know if I do decide to be a mother I can adopt, and although it is not the same, I know it never was my ovaries that would have made me a mom. It will be my love and my life and what I as a whole person can give a child that will make me a mom.

    You're dealing with some tough stuff right now, Lil. It's okay to feel what you feel...mad, sad, scared... It is hard at any age to be introduced to the idea of life being a finite engagement, but you can look at it this way...you are learning now just how precious life really is, that it is not something to take for granted. With that thought, try to start thinking about turning the tide on your cancer. Take back your power, take back your life.

    Something to think about: You have cancer - cancer does NOT have you!

    Try meditating on that thought. I'll check up on you in a couple of days, until then check out these links:

    The Survivor Movie

    More resources:
    The Cancer Crusade

    Crazy Sexy Cancer

    Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

    Recommended Reading:
    Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr
    and her website: Crazy Sexy Life

    The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan

    Your Own Journal by LilMiss82

    I wrote this to another friend here yesterday...
    “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

    Many blessings to you Lil, for comfort, healing and peace of mind....

    Katie

    Katie, thank you for sharing these.
    Katie, thank you for sharing these. The Survivor Movie really lifted my spirits. I am going to check out the others too. Thanks again!