trying to stay positive

dmc_emmy said:

Sparky, there's no magic pill...
that we can take to take away the fear, but we do have each other.

I did not find this site until after I completed my chemo, radiation, and surgery. I came to this site only -after I had rare on-going problems with my meds. I was scared and cried out, "Why me?" I found out that everyone on this site had had the same fears and, even the ones I considered to be so strong and fearless asked "Why me? from time to time.

Now, six months later, I am declared to cancer-free. I never thought I would reach this point. There seemed to be no light at the end of a seemingly endless and dark tunnel, but I made it. Many on this site are nearing the end of their journey or are done and are "dancing with NED." Many others, like you, are just beginning and going through the same emotions that we did only a few years or months ago.

Sparky, you began this journey with hope and that makes you a survivor--even if you are scared and, I won't lie to you, there will be times when you feel that you have lost all hope, you need to reach out to your friends here. We will hold your hand and, if need be, we will even carry you. You will never be alone--that is my solemn promise to you.

dmc

Dot53 said:

Hi
I also have ductal carcinoma in situ and had a double mastectomy on the 5th and found the following quote to be very helpful...

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The waiting is the hardest part.. I had to wait two months for my surgery b/c I had to heal from my reduction first (that is how they found it.) Try to think positive and anytime you need to talk or ask questions you have your sisters here to help.

Sending positive thoughts your way...

Dot

sparky72156 said:

Thank you, Dot......I am
Thank you, Dot......I am trying to hang in there.

sparky72156 said:

The waiting is torture. I
The waiting is torture. I can't help thinking that they are not giving me the entire picture. First, they said that it was DCIS.....do a lumpectomy and all will probably be good. Well, three of the four margins were not clear so now it's on to mastectomy. When the plastic surgeon mentioned, kind of just in passing, that the possibility would exist that a worse type of cancer might show up in the final path of the removed tissues, it hit me that this is real. I had been considering myself so lucky that it was DCIS.........had even said that I would never put myself into the same category as those who had to endure the chemo and rads because I would have had it so much easier. Now........now I am just full of an anxiety that I haven't had since I lost my husband to brain cancer. I can't sleep so I drag myself through my days at work, trying to smile and keep a positive attitude. Then I come home to my empty house and cry because I am so afraid. I'm so tired and I feel as though I'm entering this whirlpool that is just dragging me down, no matter how hard I fight it.

sparky72156 said:

Terri, I have chosen the
Terri, I have chosen the mastectomy because the doc said that he would have to take out much more tissue to be sure he got it all, and even then, it might require more surgery if all he did was a lumpectomy. Rather than drag it out for a few surgeries, I have elected to get it all out and reconstruct immediately. He offered me the choice of another lumpectomy but I wasn't comfortable with that option. I think this is one of those personal choices that only the person with the disease can decide what is best for them. For me, bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction will offer me peace of mind, should that final pathology be good.

crselby said:

same dx, different treatment
Hi Sparky. You heard from some very understanding women. I had DCIS (in situ). But before surgery, the surgeon wanted to know if there was any more cancer in other areas. The thing about DCIS is that, although the cancer cells are contained in the duct and have not learned how to become invasive, they CAN travel down the duct and sprout a new area of cancer, still within the duct. So, good=not invasive, bad=in many areas of the breast (which would require a mastectomy). After MRI, MRI biopsies, and ultrasounds, the docs were pretty sure I only had one tiny area of DCIS, so I had a lumpectomy. If they had found more areas, depending on how close together they might have been, I could have ended up with bilateral mastectomies.

But the waiting for the results of all of that testing was HELL! I made myself sick, literallly, with anxiety. Couldn't sleep and if I did, I would wake with frantically beating heat and sweating. Caught a virus. Broke out with candida on the skin under my breasts, etc. Sleep is so important and so healing, that I was grateful to get some anti-anxiety drugs for pre-surgery. Whew! Finally some rest, sleep, and peace. After that, I could handle calming myself in my usually effective ways (meditation and exercise). Maybe the same thing would be helpful for you. My advice is to ask for some meds or some counseling from your doctor's office.