menapause, menapause

Can some one tell me how to cope with menapause.I'm in full menapause at the age of 39 After cervical cancer. what do i do? I have did all the diets, soy, herds,lets say i did everything, and nothing and i mean nothing is helping my hot flashes, or desire to have sex.. where did my sex drive go? I am so tired of this!! I have prayed about it, but i want my body back, it seem like from the hips down i don't have feeling like a woman should. I have tried all dialatiors, creams and pills and nothing is getting it started again, my DR. said that the internal radation burned me, so it takes time to heal and that the creams are not really going to work or the pills it might help some but not much....ok but how long? its been 2 1/2 years. I wonder did they over radat me..i just wonder? I am blessed Im still living, but it is so hard to deal with.... So, i just want to know if any one is having this problem.

Thank you


  • funbeadgirl
    funbeadgirl Member Posts: 181
    menopause issues
    I can totally identify with your issues, I had vulvar cancer in Jan, extensive surgery and 5 1/2 weeks of external radiation, although I breezed through that all pretty well, it has taken some time to even think about an intimate relationship. My husband and I are very open communicators, so we have worked at it, but really I felt it was like a medical procedure to 'try' to have sex, thus I put a rock in my own path, it did get better, but then I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer...that was 10 times worse than the vulvar surgery! I had side effects from surgery, was in and out of hospital and emergency rooms for 10 days, because of seizures. Then with no thyroid I was exhausted, lethargic and no interest in anything. I also had the nuclear medicine treatment for that and now I just can't get into 'it'
    My husband and I talked about this last night, I think it is a combination of thinking too much about it, being distracted by my job, and overcoming body issues with basically having my genitals cut off. I am seeing a women's health specialist that treats women with cancer and their sexual issues. She recommended to me a lubricant called SILK, available on only, to use with dilator along with a prescription of estriol gel to be used vaginally. My cancer was not estrogen fed, so I would ask your doc if that would be o.k. for you to use.
    My goal now is to try to relax and seek some counselling re: body issues, etc.

    Hang in there, you are young and have a lot of living left to do.
  • beckyracn
    beckyracn Member Posts: 322
    I can totally relate

    I can totally relate to you. I went through and completed natural menopause by the time I was 46. Sex drive wanning, but still there. Then came the ca diagnosis. Since the treatments, I have absolutely no desire. Intercourse reminds me of (and feels like) a jackhammer trying to break up an unrelenting sidewalk with intense abdominal cramping for the next 24 hours; even with the use of the suggested products. When I spoke to my gyn I asked if this was normal and he said yes. My husband has been very kind through all this, but still has needs. I continue to seek new ways to adjust to this new "normal" life. I feel for you on your journey to find your new norm.
  • pebbles4814
    pebbles4814 Member Posts: 5
    i know how you feel
    the menapause is not fun but it is getting better a bit to deal with. i went to Paula and Sons for dinner after all my treatment for my birthday and to celabrate being cancer free. i found a shirt there that say " i am still HOT it just come in flashes" it is by far my most fav shirt now. my doctor told me to take remifen (missed spelled i think.) it is over the counter and if you take it just like it says to it may help some. As for the sex. All i know is what i am going through. thank god i have a boyfriend who doesnt mind taking his time. Sex is very pain full now. and after words my ab hurts for a few hours. i have a dialatior that i hate using and dont like i should. if it wasnt for my boyfriend i could care less about having it ever again. but i know that if i didnt have him in my life i dont know what i would do. when i see a guy i would like to know. i stop myself because sex is so hard for me and i dont think i could get close enough to someone else to explain how it is differnet with me. it is like my first time everytime.
    In the past few weeks i have been have "charlie horses" in my hips. if i sit wrong on the couch, or crouch down to mess with the fire, or try and sit on my feet on the couch. i cant even sit indian style anymore. that i hate because i love to sit on the floor with my dogs in front of the fire place. i feel like i am just falling apart. and i dont know what to do.