Stupid stuff people say about us having Breast cancer.
Comments
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You Can't Fix Stupid
One of the stupidest things said to me was : "How awesome~ you must be thrilled you have curly hair now; it was always so straight before!"
Yeah, that surgery, chemo and radiation was sooooo worth the curly hair! What? I couldn't have just gotten a perm????? LOL
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
Chen.chenheart said:You Can't Fix Stupid
One of the stupidest things said to me was : "How awesome~ you must be thrilled you have curly hair now; it was always so straight before!"
Yeah, that surgery, chemo and radiation was sooooo worth the curly hair! What? I couldn't have just gotten a perm????? LOL
Hugs,
Chen♥
That is a good one.I hadn,t heard it yet.Thanks.(Pat).0 -
The one that got me the most is.
My niece That I think Loves me,says mind you i am getting ready for a lumpecktomy and she informs me that she would love to have her breast taken off because they hurt her back.I don,t mean to offend anyone,I know some people have to have reductions done.But their is a time and place for everything.That wasn,t the time to tell me this.When I am getting mine cut on.I know some of you have heard worse then this.But i guess we have to laugh to our selfs about some of these coments. (Pat).0 -
There are so many.....
1. My father said to my (16 year old) daughter - "Your mom will have to get reconstruction or wear prosthetics in order to look normal." Thanks, dad. (I guess he would be too embarrassed to be seen with me if I just wore a shirt and was myself.)
2. "Well at least you only have to have radiation and not chemo." (I know chemo can be very bad, but not much of this stuff is very much fun.)
3. "At least you won't lose your hair." (but losing both breasts is ok?)
4. "Are you ok?" (this is followed by a "concerned" look and staring at me for at least 5 minutes) This is almost always asked by someone who I know doesn't really care about how I am and just wants info so they can tell everyone else.
5. "You look tired." Usually said by the same people who say #4.0 -
Good one.ppurdin said:The one that got me the most is.
My niece That I think Loves me,says mind you i am getting ready for a lumpecktomy and she informs me that she would love to have her breast taken off because they hurt her back.I don,t mean to offend anyone,I know some people have to have reductions done.But their is a time and place for everything.That wasn,t the time to tell me this.When I am getting mine cut on.I know some of you have heard worse then this.But i guess we have to laugh to our selfs about some of these coments. (Pat).
Pat,
That could have been a bad scene for you at the time if you were having a hard time with your surgery. It is kind of funny to think about how that must have sounded to someone on the outside who knew the whole situation. I'm sure your niece just wasn't thinking when she put her foot in her mouth like that.0 -
At my hair salon, theWolfi said:There are so many.....
1. My father said to my (16 year old) daughter - "Your mom will have to get reconstruction or wear prosthetics in order to look normal." Thanks, dad. (I guess he would be too embarrassed to be seen with me if I just wore a shirt and was myself.)
2. "Well at least you only have to have radiation and not chemo." (I know chemo can be very bad, but not much of this stuff is very much fun.)
3. "At least you won't lose your hair." (but losing both breasts is ok?)
4. "Are you ok?" (this is followed by a "concerned" look and staring at me for at least 5 minutes) This is almost always asked by someone who I know doesn't really care about how I am and just wants info so they can tell everyone else.
5. "You look tired." Usually said by the same people who say #4.
At my hair salon, the stylist is thrilled to finally have a client on radiation because she wanted to see what effect it would have on my hair. Gee, if I had known this before, I could
have tried to get cancer sooner....
As it is, they had to open the salon specially on Sat. for me, since I could not get there in time after rads during the week, so I tipped them liberally for their trouble.
Also, because I have not been sweating in my daily workouts, my hair is actually in better condition than in normally is. However, I would trade good hair for being able to work out.0 -
My sister, who is very intoWolfi said:There are so many.....
1. My father said to my (16 year old) daughter - "Your mom will have to get reconstruction or wear prosthetics in order to look normal." Thanks, dad. (I guess he would be too embarrassed to be seen with me if I just wore a shirt and was myself.)
2. "Well at least you only have to have radiation and not chemo." (I know chemo can be very bad, but not much of this stuff is very much fun.)
3. "At least you won't lose your hair." (but losing both breasts is ok?)
4. "Are you ok?" (this is followed by a "concerned" look and staring at me for at least 5 minutes) This is almost always asked by someone who I know doesn't really care about how I am and just wants info so they can tell everyone else.
5. "You look tired." Usually said by the same people who say #4.
My sister, who is very into control, criticized me at my first Race For The Cure as a survivor for drinking a Diet Coke. Somehow in her mind she has decided that me drinking a couple of Diet Cokes a day for the past few years resulted in me getting breast cancer. I just laughed because she hasn't changed since childhood: she never passes up a chance to criticize and she always needs to be in control. So, if she doesn't drink Diet Coke she won't get sick. lol0 -
But I hate Diet Coke...so how did *I * get cancer? :-)Victoria1566 said:My sister, who is very into
My sister, who is very into control, criticized me at my first Race For The Cure as a survivor for drinking a Diet Coke. Somehow in her mind she has decided that me drinking a couple of Diet Cokes a day for the past few years resulted in me getting breast cancer. I just laughed because she hasn't changed since childhood: she never passes up a chance to criticize and she always needs to be in control. So, if she doesn't drink Diet Coke she won't get sick. lol
Hands down, the most stupid I've heard so far were the first words out of my co-worker's mouth, when I told him I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer:
"My aunt had that...everyone loved her so much, there were so many people at her funeral."
Traci0 -
I remember one person whoWolfi said:There are so many.....
1. My father said to my (16 year old) daughter - "Your mom will have to get reconstruction or wear prosthetics in order to look normal." Thanks, dad. (I guess he would be too embarrassed to be seen with me if I just wore a shirt and was myself.)
2. "Well at least you only have to have radiation and not chemo." (I know chemo can be very bad, but not much of this stuff is very much fun.)
3. "At least you won't lose your hair." (but losing both breasts is ok?)
4. "Are you ok?" (this is followed by a "concerned" look and staring at me for at least 5 minutes) This is almost always asked by someone who I know doesn't really care about how I am and just wants info so they can tell everyone else.
5. "You look tired." Usually said by the same people who say #4.
I remember one person who knew that this was my 4th cancer saying, Well, at least you get the treatable ones. Yes, I am so grateful to have had uterine, bladder, skin and breast cancer. Bless that cancer fairy for treating me to all of this.
And my sister had one of her coworkers tell her they should go wig shopping together and then when Patti started wearing her wigs, she would to and they would be like twins. My sister had planned on wearing hats and scarves instead of a wig. She had already tried wigs on and didn't like the way they looked or felt. She told her coworker this and that she already had some hats and scarves she would be using to which this insensitive clod replied, "Oh, that's because you just want to draw attention to yourself". I was so mad when my sister told me about this. I told my sister she should have told her, "Shave your head, do chemo and have your breast removed, then we'll be twins". If this "friend" had only said the first comment I would have written it off as stupidity, but that second comment was just nasty. But karma is out there and it will get her someday.
Stef0 -
Oh TraciTraciInLA said:But I hate Diet Coke...so how did *I * get cancer? :-)
Hands down, the most stupid I've heard so far were the first words out of my co-worker's mouth, when I told him I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer:
"My aunt had that...everyone loved her so much, there were so many people at her funeral."
Traci
That was terrible.But my niece could be cabable of saying the same thing.Good thing we don,t let them get the best of us ha.(Pat).0 -
Yes, I've had so many ofTraciInLA said:But I hate Diet Coke...so how did *I * get cancer? :-)
Hands down, the most stupid I've heard so far were the first words out of my co-worker's mouth, when I told him I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer:
"My aunt had that...everyone loved her so much, there were so many people at her funeral."
Traci
Yes, I've had so many of those types of comments thrown my direction. At times the image from Monty Python's "Holy Grail" came to mind. The scene where a character is yelling, "Bring out your dead." while pushing a cart through a plague stricken town. John Cleese brings out an old man but the old man says, "But, I'm not dead." Which leads to a funny exchange between the old man and the two who have dicided that his life is over. That always makes me laugh, even when they bonk the old man on the head.0 -
Karma is out their.fauxma said:I remember one person who
I remember one person who knew that this was my 4th cancer saying, Well, at least you get the treatable ones. Yes, I am so grateful to have had uterine, bladder, skin and breast cancer. Bless that cancer fairy for treating me to all of this.
And my sister had one of her coworkers tell her they should go wig shopping together and then when Patti started wearing her wigs, she would to and they would be like twins. My sister had planned on wearing hats and scarves instead of a wig. She had already tried wigs on and didn't like the way they looked or felt. She told her coworker this and that she already had some hats and scarves she would be using to which this insensitive clod replied, "Oh, that's because you just want to draw attention to yourself". I was so mad when my sister told me about this. I told my sister she should have told her, "Shave your head, do chemo and have your breast removed, then we'll be twins". If this "friend" had only said the first comment I would have written it off as stupidity, but that second comment was just nasty. But karma is out there and it will get her someday.
Stef
My niece as you can tell is very out spoken like her mother,who is my half sister.We are so not a like,Thank God for that.My sister has had BC.8yrs. ago.And she told me that it would be cheaper to have a masectomy then the treatments.I didn,t know what to say other then some things you can,t put a price on.My daughter says mom you need to stop hanging out with them,they can be so un feeling and mean.I know she is right,but I keep hoping one day they will change.I doubt it.(Pat).I might add that she didn,t get a mesectomy either.If I had to of course I would have,but I didn,t.0 -
Stupid and Sweet....
Stupid...
MAN!!! I'm going to have to PAY for it if i want to get a boob job!!!
(oh really? ya wanna trade??)
Sweet:
I had to tell my son over the phone that I was going to have a mastectomy. He said...ok, and EXACTLY what is that...and i said..it's where they remove the entire breast...he was silent for a minute and then said very loudly.....ARE THEY GOING TO PUT IT BACK?!?!?!?
I cracked up laughing....just what i needed.
Gotta love our kids!!!0 -
STUPIDj916 said:Stupid and Sweet....
Stupid...
MAN!!! I'm going to have to PAY for it if i want to get a boob job!!!
(oh really? ya wanna trade??)
Sweet:
I had to tell my son over the phone that I was going to have a mastectomy. He said...ok, and EXACTLY what is that...and i said..it's where they remove the entire breast...he was silent for a minute and then said very loudly.....ARE THEY GOING TO PUT IT BACK?!?!?!?
I cracked up laughing....just what i needed.
Gotta love our kids!!!
My fathers' girlfriend said, "You don't look sick" Well what the hell-how am I suppose to look.
Comments about being bald is not what I want to hear from someone that is dating my father.
And her husband died of cancer--don't know what kind but at this point I don't give a damn.
Hugs,
Margo0 -
The worst thing ever said to me was by my hubby...
** during a fight with my hubby.... months after the double mastectomy and chemo started... and money was getting tight.. told me I cost the family over $20 thousand dollars.. need less to say.. I flipped out and we didn't talk for weeks...
** I was told my the radiologist, after they were done discussing my diagnostic mammo and ultrasound.... "Just think you can now participate in those really neat 3 day walks.." WTF.. My husband and I were just dumb founded
** and as we all heard... my favorite... "ITS ONLY HAIR"... my god I hate that statement.. yes we know its only hair.. doesn't mean we want to lose it... i once told a woman who said that to me.. well if its only hair and not a big deal.. than why don't you shave yours off... she just stared at me... not knowing what to say... :-)0 -
Cool!roseann4 said:There have been several "stupid" comments...
This one was the worst. I was telling a friend that I had good new that my cancer was early and I could have breast conserving surgery...She said, "So far."
Roseann
"you get a tummy tuck & a boob job all at once"... right...sign me up for that!
one of our sisters said "you can't fix stupid" ... but maybe we could try to cure ignorance
I have people tell me all about aunt so&so, or the neighbor, or somebody's sister who had my "same cancer" and they came through it just fine, and are cured now. Well, it's not my "same cancer" if they are cured. Nuff said.0 -
By the time I started BC treatment.....
My close family and friends had already suffered thru the rectal cancer treatment with me, so things were a bit less sensitive...still....
One said "Gee, I didn't know you could get cancer more than one time!" (Yeah, see, it's like chicken pox...you develop an immunity...I hear they are actually creating a vaccine)
"Well, you didn't lose your hair last time, so you won't this time" and (same person)
"Why didn't the treatment for the rectal cancer cure the breast cancer" (OK, so I let the first comment slide, but felt obligated to explain, in quite a bit of detail, the cancer treatment experience...including the barfing and the pink, burny pee (Adriamycin).
"Aren't you grateful that you have a nice shaped head?" (Goes without saying...)
"Well, at least your getting your cancer over with while you are still young" (WHAT????? Just like you getting your ignorance over while YOU are still young?)
And many, many more....sigh...
Hugs, Kathi0 -
stupid comment
I hate when they tell me " you look sick"....
no joke after surgery, chemo, currently on radiation.....
what am i on some type of contest or something....
also i'm bald....very few hair are coming out....
people hope my hair comes out curly, red hair,
some even wonder if i'll have gray hair....
i just wish to get healthy with or without hair.....0 -
Lets see...Taina said:stupid comment
I hate when they tell me " you look sick"....
no joke after surgery, chemo, currently on radiation.....
what am i on some type of contest or something....
also i'm bald....very few hair are coming out....
people hope my hair comes out curly, red hair,
some even wonder if i'll have gray hair....
i just wish to get healthy with or without hair.....
My dad said to me...."keep your head covered when im around, I dont want to see that"....real sensitive Dad!!
This is a good one too....my aunt said "well think of all the weight you will lose"...Id rather be fat but thanks. Besides, Im not losing weight...Im gaining, LOL..0
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