Today is the day....help me do this ladies!

Sam726
Sam726 Member Posts: 233
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hair is falling out....im shaving my head today. Im so upset. I cant believe this is happening! Im scared....am I gonna look like a fool? People are going to know that I have cancer. I never used to care about people knowing because I was the one telling them. But now, I dont have to say a word.

Comments

  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    You can do it!!
    I can tell you from experience that I was as frightened as you are and for exactly the same reasons. I made the comment to my husband that I should have gone immediately after having my head shaved and had a tatoo on my forehead that said "cancer". With that being said, it isn't as bad as you think. Yes, you are noticed by people but unfortunately nowadays it's somewhat common and you're really not a "freak". If anything, you get smiles from stangers that I interpret to mean they understand and care. It's also quite the timesaver as far as getting ready to go anywhere. There are some beautiful scarves and hats along with wigs of course that make the day to day activities workable. Just remind yourself that this is a temporary situation and the loss of your hair is proof that you've taken this beast by the horns and are on your way to recovery. YOU CAN DO IT!! We're all here to support you along this journey. Good luck.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    HI Sam
    We are close to the same age, and I felt the same way when my hair came out. I remember going to the wig store and having my head shaved and picking out a wig. Not the best time in my life, but I got through it, and so will you. Honor your feelings and let yourself feel sad. But know in the back of your mind that this is temporary. It feels like yesterday when it happened to me, yet I've now had 3 haircuts since my hair started coming back. Good luck.

    Mimi
  • Tyari
    Tyari Member Posts: 36
    Right there with you!
    I just shaved my head this past weekend. My mom did it. We laughed we cried, we ate icecream then went yarn shopping! :)

    People will really not pay too much attention to you, you'll get some knowing smiles, and maybe some hugs and stories from those who have been there. Just get a warm cap to sleep in, I had to get one my head got COLD! You'll get used to the way it looks then before you know it you'll have beautiful baby soft hair!

    All my best to you, your in my thoughts and prayers.

    TY
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    Sam
    Best to just shave it. As I can only imagine how upsetting that must be, I'll be right behind you! Like it wasn't enough to make that 1st step in cutting it off, now this! NO!!! You will not look like a fool! You will look like a SURVIVOR! Strong, tough, macho... (lol)! Wow! I don't know where that came from! How long has it been since we heard that word?! You CAN do this! You know you can! Where's your wig? Then it won't be so odvious. It will grow back before you know it.
    Hugz,
    Cathy
  • Sam726
    Sam726 Member Posts: 233
    Cat64 said:

    Sam
    Best to just shave it. As I can only imagine how upsetting that must be, I'll be right behind you! Like it wasn't enough to make that 1st step in cutting it off, now this! NO!!! You will not look like a fool! You will look like a SURVIVOR! Strong, tough, macho... (lol)! Wow! I don't know where that came from! How long has it been since we heard that word?! You CAN do this! You know you can! Where's your wig? Then it won't be so odvious. It will grow back before you know it.
    Hugz,
    Cathy

    Thanks
    ladies..I need to take control of this. I dont want to let it take control of me. My hair has always been my favorite feature. Dont know what to do without it! Guess Ill just wash and go huh?
  • SoftBallMom2
    SoftBallMom2 Member Posts: 56 Member
    I know how you feel
    I was really depressed when my hair started falling out. I didn't wash or touch my hair for two days.Thought I could keep it from falling out I guess. i finally let my husband shave it. It was really hard, but I felt better after he shaved it. It was done. I know what y9u mean about people knowing you are sick when you don't have your hair. I felt the same way, if you have hair no one knows you are sick. But it gets better. You will be fine. You can do it. It makes you so much stronger. Hang in there! It does get better.
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Not a fool
    please don't ask if you will "look like a fool" YOU WILL NOT!! you will look like the very beautiful woman you are surviving and fighting the beast. Your beauty will shine from the inside out!

    I know it isn't fun, but there are such cute wigs and hats, before you know it your hair will be growing back as mine is. even if I'm jealous of our Mimi! LOL! 3 haircuts already! That is great!!
    hugs,jackie
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Boy do I
    remember that day,even though it was almost 2 years ago.
    Don't be there alone when you shave it-might make it easier if you have someone do it for you and then if they are able maybe go out and spend some time together..
    My thoughts are with you.
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Hair loss is traumatic...
    No doubt about it. Really tough for us women, especially. Although I did gain a different appreciation for what men go through - and without cancer/chemo as the reason...


    It's OK - go ahead, and grieve for the loss of your hair. And remind yourself that it WILL return (unlike for the men!). As far as headcoverings go - do whatever makes YOU feel the most comfortable. It's not about what others may or may not think or feel.
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    I know how you feel
    When mine came out I had my beautician do it. She didn't cut close enough so that night in front of my Christmas tree, my brother took out his razor and finished the job. I did cry and also felt awful. But after a while I realized people were nicer to me than normal, more people held doors, smiled at me and strangers stopped and talked to me. It was kind of wierd, but nice. Today I'm taking my Mom for her cut and perm and the beautician is anxious to see me, she wants to see how my hair is growing back. Maybe she can shape it a little better for me. I know what you mean about cold head. What helps is a turban or flannel pillow cases. I hated having something on my head when I slept, so kept the covers up as high as I could. Also it helped when my kitty kat Sadie decided to share my pillow, she actually kept me warm. Wonder if that was instinct? hmmmm
    You will look beautiful in scarves, hats and/or wigs. I liked my wigs, I had hair I never had before!!!! Have a super weekend!
    Pat
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    padee6339 said:

    I know how you feel
    When mine came out I had my beautician do it. She didn't cut close enough so that night in front of my Christmas tree, my brother took out his razor and finished the job. I did cry and also felt awful. But after a while I realized people were nicer to me than normal, more people held doors, smiled at me and strangers stopped and talked to me. It was kind of wierd, but nice. Today I'm taking my Mom for her cut and perm and the beautician is anxious to see me, she wants to see how my hair is growing back. Maybe she can shape it a little better for me. I know what you mean about cold head. What helps is a turban or flannel pillow cases. I hated having something on my head when I slept, so kept the covers up as high as I could. Also it helped when my kitty kat Sadie decided to share my pillow, she actually kept me warm. Wonder if that was instinct? hmmmm
    You will look beautiful in scarves, hats and/or wigs. I liked my wigs, I had hair I never had before!!!! Have a super weekend!
    Pat

    Sam,
    No, you are not going to look like a fool in any way, but yes, you are now going to look like a cancer patient.

    Breast cancer is such a weird disease in that way -- many of us go through diagnosis, tests, and surgery without ever looking "sick." Then, months into the whole thing, we start chemo, and WHAM, suddenly we *look* like a cancer patient. It's tough to get used to.

    I get occasional stares, but mostly I get better service -- the checker at the grocery who was never nice to me before, the customer service person who goes out of their way for me. So, to be honest, baldness has been a little perk to me in that way.

    I made the decision when I was diagnosed that, if I had to have cancer, I was going to take any special treatment anyone wanted to give me. I don't wear anything on my head except when I'm in the sun -- if it makes someone feel better about themselves to bestow a little act of kindness on me, then hey, I'm performing a public service! :-)

    Be gentle with youself at this point, Sam, and let yourself feel what you feel -- but please also be proud of yourself for taking control of this and rockin' the bald look!

    Traci
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    You will look like the
    You will look like the beautiful warrior that you are kicking cancer in the a@@. I also thought I would look terrible but everyone kept saying that I had a nice head so there you go, you will look fine. Some people might come up to you and tell you what they went through and offer words of encouragement, so take it a day at a time. ACS has a catalog called TLC which offers wigs, scarves and some cute hats at very affordable prices. The nurses that work with my brother sent me a care package that had little caps like the ones they put on newborns made of a very soft cotton which helped keep my head warm at night and I also wore it at home when it got colder out. Don't despair because before you know it, it will be over and you will be going for haircuts again. Warm hugs, Lili
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003

    You will look like the
    You will look like the beautiful warrior that you are kicking cancer in the a@@. I also thought I would look terrible but everyone kept saying that I had a nice head so there you go, you will look fine. Some people might come up to you and tell you what they went through and offer words of encouragement, so take it a day at a time. ACS has a catalog called TLC which offers wigs, scarves and some cute hats at very affordable prices. The nurses that work with my brother sent me a care package that had little caps like the ones they put on newborns made of a very soft cotton which helped keep my head warm at night and I also wore it at home when it got colder out. Don't despair because before you know it, it will be over and you will be going for haircuts again. Warm hugs, Lili

    I was very upset about
    I was very upset about losing my hair and the whole breast cancer thing, I was diagnosed stage 4. When i lost all my hair, I put on a wig and went to the mall. I was in a store and the cashier mentioned that she loved my haircut, I blurted out how i had breast cancer and blah, blah, blah. But anyway, that did make me feel better. You will not look like a fool, and sometimes people are so wrapped up in their own lives, that they may not even notice you are bald or are wearing a wig!! Anyway, my hair grew back really awesome!
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    HUGS
    You most certainly will not look like a fool, you will look like a fighter, a survivor someone who will not give in to this nasty illness. You are a survivor and we are here to help you. I am so much a tomboy and not much for what I call foo fooing :-) but losing my hair was not a bit fun. I learned to love bandana's (i ride quads so I have lots) I wore one for every outfit, got to be rather fun! I did wear my wigs when going to dinner and such as I did not want to be cold. You are gonna be fine, I am betting you will be stunning in your bandana/hat/wig!

    Hugs,

    RE
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    Sam .. My hair is coming out in clumps ... only on top
    of my scalp, no where else. Yet to come.

    I agree with everything posted .. our pre-chemo breast cancer appointments, visits etc can be consealed with make up and clothing, however, now that our hair is falling out .. like a dog shedding their winter coat, we are not out there .. saying "hey, I have cancer", hard to conceal.

    Like so many bc survivors before us .. baldness must be dealt with .. head on .. Hats, wigs or bandana's ..we are fighting a beast. Like TraciinLA stated .. my husband and I went to breakfast this morning - I wore a pink ribbon scarf - around my bald head .. I didn't get any stares .. In fact .. our Service was GREAT. However, not the same experience at LAX - International a few hours ago .. many people stared .. Foreigners - go figure!

    Sam, just smile when people look at you .. this tells people that you are OKAY, and a survivor.

    VickiSam