update to my Angels

rjjj
rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hello to all my sisters/angels. I hope no one has worried about me, I haven't been posting much lately. I have been emotionally and physically drained, but I am OK! I haven't had the time or energy to make any drastic decisions....but i have talked to my husband and gave him an ultimatum. He is not himself when he drinks, and says he has been angry at the cancer, not me!! I told him he WAS taking it out on me and Jase when he drinks, and I was also mad at the cancer but was fighting the beast and not everyone around me. That I needed the support of both him and my son, and if he couldn't deal with it he was free to leave. I will not let him dictate who visits me in my home and he will not be welcome home if he is drunk anymore. He has made promises to change his behavior...I hope he can, but if not I will not think twice before sending him packing. He has been trying to make it up to me..but it will take some time before I trust in him again. I have been doing alot of praying, and read your advice and support over and over. I love you all and thanks for being such sincerely caring friends. I don't know what I would do without you, my angels.
Love, Jackie

Comments

  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    #2
    Very happy to hear from you!
    Jackie,

    I'm so happy that you're doing OK. I'm also very proud of you that you told Bob his behavior was unacceptable. That's a great first step. I really hope he can get his act together. But I know that you will be fine in either situation, Jackie. You're a fighter. Please keep posting when you can, Jackie. We want to support you through this. You're an inspiration to many here. Take care.

    Mimi
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    #3
    Jackie
    Im glad that you stood up for yourself and for your son. Please make sure to stick to your guns and dont let him hurt you anymore. Like you said, you have enough fight on your hand with the cancer, you dont need him beating you down too. Please keep your strength up against him. I will pray for you and if he drinks again and doesnt allow your son over, kick him to the curb!

    Hugs and prayers
    laura
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #4
    Happy to hear from you!
    It is very good to hear from you Jackie, I am glad you are okay. You did the right thing to state your feelings and needs clearly and matter of factly. I hope he can cope better in the future with his emotions and I wish you well. Sending cyber hugs to you!!!

    RE
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #5
    Jackie, I'm so glad you are
    Jackie, I'm so glad you are doing fine. I realize the drain all this can have but you seem to be holding your own and that's wonderful. You sound like you've had clear thinking and I think you're doing the right thing. You've let him know how his behaviour is affecting you and Jase and left the door open for healing. The ball is in his court now. All my best to you Jackie, I know all of this is difficult. Please keep us posted as you feel up to it.

    hugs
    jan
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    #6
    Yeah Jackie!
    Glad to see you back posting (was worried about you!). Sounds like you thought this through and did what is right for you. Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers! ♥ Pammy
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #7
    Thank You For The Update
    I too am so glad that you posted! The emotional toll is so debilitating, isn't it? And then having to think of the words to write and hope they come out right, and explain it all without explaining too much, sounding strong while feeling less than~yup, I think all of us have "been there, done that" a few times. Ok I have, anyway!

    I admire you and your resolve...I know none of this is easy. For you, your husband or your children. Just know you have hundreds of cyber sisters in here supporting your every move. We love you!

    Hugs,




    Chen♥
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #8
    Thank You For The Update
    I see double-posts are still the order of the day....sigh!
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273
    #9
    Hi Jackie,
    I am so proud of
    Hi Jackie,

    I am so proud of you!! Just watch out for our Jackie. Do you feel any better after the talk? Do you think he listened? I hope it all works out the way that you want it to, whatever that may be. Whatever happens, you've got my support.

    Love and Big Hugs,
    Donna

    WAIT!! I have to do the happy chair dance with the feather boa. Wooooooo-Hoooooo!!!
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #10
    djteach said:

    Hi Jackie,
    I am so proud of
    Hi Jackie,

    I am so proud of you!! Just watch out for our Jackie. Do you feel any better after the talk? Do you think he listened? I hope it all works out the way that you want it to, whatever that may be. Whatever happens, you've got my support.

    Love and Big Hugs,
    Donna

    WAIT!! I have to do the happy chair dance with the feather boa. Wooooooo-Hoooooo!!!

    I hope he changes
    Glad to see you posting. I am glad that you laid the law down to your husband. I think it is awful how he has treated you and your son. Where is the consideration and respect for you? I hope he changes, but, I don't know that he will. Maybe for awhile, but, I hope he does for your sake. Stay strong and enjoy your life and your children!

    Kylez ♥
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    #11
    Very relieved to hear from you
    Dear Jackie, It is good to know that you are being assertive, but taking your time making decisions. My best to you. Love, Lynn
  • elm3544
    elm3544 Member Posts: 748
    #12
    Thanks for the update! I had
    Thanks for the update! I had re-read your post this morning and had been thinking about you. Best of luck to you.
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #13
    elm3544 said:

    Thanks for the update! I had
    Thanks for the update! I had re-read your post this morning and had been thinking about you. Best of luck to you.

    Glad you updated us. We
    Glad you updated us. We were wondering how you were. I hope you make the best decision for you and your kids!

    Hugs, Diane ♥
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #14
    Good for you, Jackie. I
    Good for you, Jackie. I think that you are taking the right tactic here. I hope he shapes up, but I am confident you will know what to do and do it if he does not. My prayers are of course with you that this comes to a good resolution for you.
    Stef
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #15
    Glad things are working out.
    Glad things are working out. Maybe he should consider seeing a therapist. Sometimes it's hard or impossible to cure yourself if you are having a problem.
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #16
    RE said:

    Happy to hear from you!
    It is very good to hear from you Jackie, I am glad you are okay. You did the right thing to state your feelings and needs clearly and matter of factly. I hope he can cope better in the future with his emotions and I wish you well. Sending cyber hugs to you!!!

    RE

    My friend Jackie ♥
    I am happy to know that you are ok and that you are working on some sort of resolution to your marriage, your life. I pray that whatever happens will bring you peace and happiness in your future!

    Love, Jeanne ♥
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #17
    Marcia527 said:

    Glad things are working out.
    Glad things are working out. Maybe he should consider seeing a therapist. Sometimes it's hard or impossible to cure yourself if you are having a problem.

    Praying that whatever is
    Praying that whatever is meant to be will happen. Just be happy with your decision.

    Leeza
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #18
    fauxma said:

    Good for you, Jackie. I
    Good for you, Jackie. I think that you are taking the right tactic here. I hope he shapes up, but I am confident you will know what to do and do it if he does not. My prayers are of course with you that this comes to a good resolution for you.
    Stef

    I know you will make the
    I know you will make the right decision Jackie. Praying for you!

    Hugs!
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537
    #19
    Hi Jackie
    The conversation you had with your husband took an enormous amount of courage and I am really proud of the fact that you were able to get the words out. Its hard enough to have to fight this diagnosis but having all the other stuff just makes it that much harder. I truly hope that he finds a way to get the focus off of himself and be there for you and your son. Thats the most important thing right now. Unfortunately, people with drinking problems tend to latch onto any excuse they can to drink...it just feeds the addiction. I hope thats not the case with your hubby.

    Thinking of you

    Linda T
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #20
    mlmjt1 said:

    Hi Jackie
    The conversation you had with your husband took an enormous amount of courage and I am really proud of the fact that you were able to get the words out. Its hard enough to have to fight this diagnosis but having all the other stuff just makes it that much harder. I truly hope that he finds a way to get the focus off of himself and be there for you and your son. Thats the most important thing right now. Unfortunately, people with drinking problems tend to latch onto any excuse they can to drink...it just feeds the addiction. I hope thats not the case with your hubby.

    Thinking of you

    Linda T

    Hey Jackie
    Just want you to know that we are all here for you no matter what you decide and do!

    Kristin ♥

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