An update on Hubby

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ppm20wife
ppm20wife Member Posts: 44
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Well surgery is almost 2 weeks old and hubby is finally starting to get back to normal. Surgery was long and the hospital stay was hell - a few complications that scared the hell out of both of us...But we are really ok - good news - lymph nodes were clean, tumor is out - took more than we originally thought - but it is all good - the darn thing is out! Had our follow up appt (that is why I did not post sooner wanted to know the whole deal first and just recover from that terrible 7 day hospital stay). I am happy to announce that it looks for now that hubby has escaped chemo for now. They will check again in 3 months with tests etc to see of things are still the same....I am still in disbelief and relief. I am so thankful but yet I keep thinking 'what if"....what is wrong with me? Thinking that? Hubby and I have made a promise to each other not to worry about 3 months from now. It is time for us to start living without fear - it is so hard though - it seems it has been with us for so long.
I want to thank everyone for so much support when I am so new to this. Each of you I have "talked" with has given me so much - you will never know the gift you truely are. I am not leaving, hope this is "ok" (sorry! ;))but will stay and support all as I have been given this gift. As I learn more I am hoping to become a better person and when three months rolls around I know I will have a "family" to help us thru the what-ifs"....
always a question to end with: How do you let the worry of "what-ifs"? We have been blessed with positive results. I feel foolish for feeling worry still but not sure how to let it go.

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  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    #2
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    I have been thinking about
    I have been thinking about you guys, so glad for the positive news!

    So what about those, what ifs, eh?

    Have you gotten or thought about a second opinion? That may help the whatifs a bit. It is a huge reason I have been able to let go. I believe with everything I am that all has been done and is being done. No doubts whatsoever.

    Ah, I know and remember all too well the horrificness of my first hospitalization. What helped me was a very conscious decision on my part to put it behind me, to focus on the moment and what laid ahead. Way to much wasted energy on what was done and behind me.

    Time does help the whatifs- the uncertainity and fear kinda go on the back burner as the joy and certainity of the day lays ahead. It helps me greatly to say outloud to myself (like in the bathroom mirror in the mornings)-"worrying and being afraid are not how you want to live your life, right? Everything that could be done, has been done, you have competent doctors you trust, you feel great!" Then I look at myself, smile, and yeah, sometimes get teary over it and say, "Dear Lord, if this is to be the last day I have, then let it be a day of joy and thanksgiving, filled with sunshine, family, friends, good food and laughter"
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #3
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    Glad
    I'm glad you have good news.The "what ifs" are normal.I had the what if's untill I took my first cat scan,and colonoscopy after surgery.I still worry a little bit,but I try not to let it bother me,and I just keep on doing the things I did before,that helps keep me "normal".I hope that helps.
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533 Member
    #4
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    I am very happy that
    I am very happy that everything seems to have turned out ok for you and your dh! Try not to worry about tomorrow and be blessed every day! Good luck to you both.

    -sheri
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #5
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    Yay!
    Wonderful news! I'm so glad for both of you. That's the best news you could have gotten!

    The part about letting go of the what if's is more tricky, but time does help. People who were here when I first started posting may have notice I don't whine nearly as much as I used to. *grins*

    Looking forward to hearing from you again.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • nudgie
    nudgie Member Posts: 1,478 Member
    #6
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    It is good
    news that surgery went well. Hospital stays are NEVER good and he food sucks :) Stop in anytime you like and give your family here an update on both you and hubby or just an update on what you guys are doing or enjoying in life
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #7
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    nudgie said:

    It is good
    news that surgery went well. Hospital stays are NEVER good and he food sucks :) Stop in anytime you like and give your family here an update on both you and hubby or just an update on what you guys are doing or enjoying in life

    Good News
    i am happy for you and your husband. enjoy yourselfs you have a wonderful day,

    michelle
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #8
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    I'm behind again
    Hi

    I am a late arrival to the post...I'm so glad that DH is doing better now. I know it's been a rough and shaky start filled with all types of uncertainties...we all so much understand any and all of that.

    What great news that hubby has been spared the chemo. What a relief.

    Your fears and anxiety are normal...you feel that way because Cancer has now touched you and in the back of your mind, there will always be worry and concern.

    What will help is time...what will tend to happen is that you will worry about when scans and follow ups come, or if chemo were to start, or anything like that. That's only natural.

    But I think that you can't do anything about it - you wait 3 months and those 3 months are going to come and go and you can try and live some and not worry - always plenty of time for that, right?

    So, you begin living for the moment, living for the minute, living for the event...and then worry time comes, just call on us.

    I think it sounds like a tremendous victory myself...I could not be happier. It has been my pleasure to talk with you too and offer what I could to you.

    Glad you are staying too...you have much to offer to new CareGivers who come to the site and are where you once were...you will be able to provide direct experience...and the blessing you receive from helping someone else will be repaid in more great ways than you can even imagine.

    Take care
    -Craig
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
    #9
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    Hi PPmwife,all your concerns
    Hi PPmwife,all your concerns is normal,I have the same concerns as you do.I am very happy to hear that finally your hubby's surgery worked out ok.Did the doctor finally tell you guys the diagnosis about which stage your hubby is at?If stage 1,only needs follow up,no chemo;if stage 2,possibly needs follow up chemo,but it is controversial,because it depends on the patient is at a higher risk or lower risk of recurrence and you have to make the final decision by yourself.Best luck and best wishes to you and your hubby.Please come here often and let us know how you are doing.

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