freakin out

lolad
lolad Member Posts: 670
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Ok guys. I was in such a hurry to find out what my treatments were all going to consist of and i finally did. Now that i know that chemo starts tuesday, im scared and dont know if i want to do it. I know i have to, but just dont want to now. I am freaking out bout the whole thing. I have no idea whats ahead, what i am going to feel like, how long ill be there. God i hate my onc, i should of asked all this but was just overwelmed again at appointment. So, what do i do? Can anyone tell me what its like? How long does it take?

laura
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Comments

  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    Oh Laura.. hang in there...
    Oh Laura.. hang in there... Fellow warriors who have experienced chemo will be here soon... But I can say... take a deep breath in ... okay exhale...one more time... in through the nose deep breath... now exhale through the mouth... okay... good.. I can't tell you anything, but want you to know that I'm here.. I know that sometimes just taking one moment at a time is all that we can do... So I will try to keep you busy until some of our dear friends who have experience in this area arrive... they will give you all the information that you need... We are all here for you...

    Hugs..

    ~T
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Deep breathe
    Hi Laura, take a deep breathe you can do this! First let me ask you did the onco give you something for nerves to take the night before and the morning of? I always had meds to take to calm me as well as meds to take to ensure I did not get sick. They may be planning to give you the anti sick meds with your chemo. It all depends on what they give you, but most of my chemos took anywhere from 4 to 6 hours. I would take my ipod load it with music and videos, take cross word puzzles and head to chemo. Mostly I slept through it which was fine. You will probably be very sleepy when it is done and that is the meds. Please try to relax you will be okay, as the years go on it has gotten much better than it was years ago. No it is not a cake walk but it is doable. Please sit down tonight and make a list of all your concerns once that is done call your doctor and ask to speak to the nurse, tell her all your concerns and she should be able to resolve many of your concerns. I hope this has helped to ease you a tad, your nerves are quite normal we all feel like that.

    Many Hugs,

    RE
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    taleena said:

    Oh Laura.. hang in there...
    Oh Laura.. hang in there... Fellow warriors who have experienced chemo will be here soon... But I can say... take a deep breath in ... okay exhale...one more time... in through the nose deep breath... now exhale through the mouth... okay... good.. I can't tell you anything, but want you to know that I'm here.. I know that sometimes just taking one moment at a time is all that we can do... So I will try to keep you busy until some of our dear friends who have experience in this area arrive... they will give you all the information that you need... We are all here for you...

    Hugs..

    ~T

    Thanks
    thanks T, i needed that breathing lesson again! See thats what i love bout the board, you can learn alot! haha seriously though, thanks for responding so fast and letting me know youre there.

    laura
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    RE said:

    Deep breathe
    Hi Laura, take a deep breathe you can do this! First let me ask you did the onco give you something for nerves to take the night before and the morning of? I always had meds to take to calm me as well as meds to take to ensure I did not get sick. They may be planning to give you the anti sick meds with your chemo. It all depends on what they give you, but most of my chemos took anywhere from 4 to 6 hours. I would take my ipod load it with music and videos, take cross word puzzles and head to chemo. Mostly I slept through it which was fine. You will probably be very sleepy when it is done and that is the meds. Please try to relax you will be okay, as the years go on it has gotten much better than it was years ago. No it is not a cake walk but it is doable. Please sit down tonight and make a list of all your concerns once that is done call your doctor and ask to speak to the nurse, tell her all your concerns and she should be able to resolve many of your concerns. I hope this has helped to ease you a tad, your nerves are quite normal we all feel like that.

    Many Hugs,

    RE

    She didnt give me anything
    She didnt give me anything for nerves, but mentioned that she will give me something for nausea. That was a good suggestion to write all my questions and then call and talk to them. And i had no idea it took that long! Wow i was thinking only an hour or two. Boy was i wrong. Thank you for your words. I hope i can sleep through it too.

    laura
  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
    lolad said:

    She didnt give me anything
    She didnt give me anything for nerves, but mentioned that she will give me something for nausea. That was a good suggestion to write all my questions and then call and talk to them. And i had no idea it took that long! Wow i was thinking only an hour or two. Boy was i wrong. Thank you for your words. I hope i can sleep through it too.

    laura

    Tell Them How You Feel
    Tell your Onc how you are feeling, they can give you something to lessen the anxiety. I am on Citalopram. It keeps me sane.

    No one can make you take chemo but when my Onc told me that the cancer could return in my brain, my bones, or my blood I said 'Sign me up'. I was like you. I didn't want to do it and I would cry over it when I was alone. But the meds have helped me and I really do not want to die. I want to be in this world as long as I can.

    I was so nervous my first round but the Docs and Nurses really take good care of you. I was so nervous I could not sleep. I listened to my IPOD, watched a movie on a protable DVD player, talked to some people around me.

    You will get through this. Good luck.

    P
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    lolad said:

    She didnt give me anything
    She didnt give me anything for nerves, but mentioned that she will give me something for nausea. That was a good suggestion to write all my questions and then call and talk to them. And i had no idea it took that long! Wow i was thinking only an hour or two. Boy was i wrong. Thank you for your words. I hope i can sleep through it too.

    laura

    My pleasure
    Sometimes you have to ask them for something for nerves, just tell them how nervous you are and I am pretty sure they will send something to your pharmacy for you. It has been my experience that you should always have a list of questions for your doctor because once you get there you are so overwhelmed you tend to forget what your concerns were. Just remember to be kind to yourself and rest when you are tired, there is no shame it that. We are here for you Laura every step of the way!

    Hugs,

    RE
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Laura
    I know the feeling, it is kind of surreal, and i went through this first part in daze. I took someone (usually my husband with me)to each apt. Or I would be sure to forget something important. I made a list of my questions.

    My chemo nurses were absolute angels, I had everything I could want or need. They gave e anti-nausea pills meds with chemo, and prescribed anti-anxiety meds for me and answered all questions during my first chemo. I was very tired like Re, and slept a good part of it.

    Things will fall into place, and youwill become familiar with the routine. It is do-ableand you will be fine. Just keep coming here, you are in the best of company with all of our loving and supportive sisters in pink.
    Hugs, jackie
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Laura,
    I thought I was going to be nervous my first time too,so my onc was going to prescribe a light sedative for me-I just had to let them all know ahead of time so that they would have the meds for me the day I started.
    As it turned out,when I came in that day I wasn't so afraid. And no one else was there but my husband and I so we had all of my chemo nurse's attention. She kept us talking which was really nice!
    You are going to be fine. They will give you great anti nausea meds before they actually start giving you the chemo drugs.
    Because everyone's situation is different,I can't tell you just how long you'll be there for. I was there for a few hours each time(about 3 at the most-wish I could remember,but that was the Fall of 07).And see, most of us have already been there done that,and we are here-sharing with and trying to encourage you and others-so you can do it too!!It isn't easy,we all will tell you that,but it is "doable".
    And there are plenty of good posts on here-one is pretty recent and others you will have to look back for a little-that will have some great tips on how to get through it.
    Bring something to keep you occupied(just in case you can't have your nurse's full attention). Bring someone along with you for moral support.And when there are other patients in there-if you like meeting and talking with people- you can make some great friends in there!
    Let us know how things go...
    Patty
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    lolad said:

    She didnt give me anything
    She didnt give me anything for nerves, but mentioned that she will give me something for nausea. That was a good suggestion to write all my questions and then call and talk to them. And i had no idea it took that long! Wow i was thinking only an hour or two. Boy was i wrong. Thank you for your words. I hope i can sleep through it too.

    laura

    Hey Laura
    Depending on what

    Hey Laura
    Depending on what drugs you're getting, the time can be different. Mine takes around 3 hours and I'm doing TAC. I didn't want to go either. I think that's actually why we take someone with us the first time. To make us go!lol But once you're there it's not so bad. Ask the nurse to explain everthing she is doing the first time.Take a good book, and something to drink. Our nurses always pass out snacks, but some places dont ,so bring something to munch on.
    I don't feel anything til day 3, then I usually get a little diarea. So have your imodium on hand just in case. Just plan on taking it easy for a few days after treament. Your white blood cell count will drop for a while and you need to rest and stay away from germy people.
    Let us know how it goes.
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member

    Laura,
    I thought I was going to be nervous my first time too,so my onc was going to prescribe a light sedative for me-I just had to let them all know ahead of time so that they would have the meds for me the day I started.
    As it turned out,when I came in that day I wasn't so afraid. And no one else was there but my husband and I so we had all of my chemo nurse's attention. She kept us talking which was really nice!
    You are going to be fine. They will give you great anti nausea meds before they actually start giving you the chemo drugs.
    Because everyone's situation is different,I can't tell you just how long you'll be there for. I was there for a few hours each time(about 3 at the most-wish I could remember,but that was the Fall of 07).And see, most of us have already been there done that,and we are here-sharing with and trying to encourage you and others-so you can do it too!!It isn't easy,we all will tell you that,but it is "doable".
    And there are plenty of good posts on here-one is pretty recent and others you will have to look back for a little-that will have some great tips on how to get through it.
    Bring something to keep you occupied(just in case you can't have your nurse's full attention). Bring someone along with you for moral support.And when there are other patients in there-if you like meeting and talking with people- you can make some great friends in there!
    Let us know how things go...
    Patty

    Laura
    I think we were all pretty terrified of our first chemo treatment. No matter what people said ... we never really knew what to expect. I would call you oncologist's office now and ask what type of chemo you are going to have. There are so many combintions of drugs they give ... and they have different side-effects etc. I'd also ask how long the first treatment will last. How many treatments will you need? If you need more than just a few ... does the oncologist suggest that you have a port installed. If not ... you might ask about it. I am terrified of needles so I NEVER could have gotten through my treatments if I hadn't had a port. (I LOVE MY PORT!) Also ...when you call the doctor's office ... ask about anti-nausea drugs ... and be sure to tell them how anxious your are ... and they will prescribe something for you to take.

    You'll get through this ... I promise!

    hugs.
    teena
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    CHEMO
    MORNING....I can only relate to my own chemo. I just had my third infusion this past Monday.......3 down ONE TO GO! I am taking Taxotere and Cytoxin, every third Monday. It takes me about 3 hours total, from getting the anti nausea meds first, about 15 minutes worth, then they wait about 15 minutes for those to take effect before starting the "big guns." I also start Decadron on the day before and continue that and Zofran for three days afterwards......these are steroids and anti nausea meds.......I have NOT had one bit of nausea but then again everyone is different and it depends on the drugs you take. There are side effects........my taste buds leave me for about 5-6 days......nothing tastes right.....use plastic utensils, sometimes that helps..........I am wiped out this time, but feeling some better today.......sore throat......I also take the Neulasta injection the day after chemo to keep my white blood cells up so as not to get any infections. That kicked my butt the first time I took it! But hasn't been bad the last two times. DRINK DRINK DRINK tons of water or what ever suits you! And make yourself eat......less likely to get nauseated with something in your stomach. TAKE ALL YOUR MEDS AS PRESCRIBED! EVEN if you don't feel nauseated!!!!!!!!!!! DEMAND, don't ask, DEMAND something to ease your anxiety! I must say that my oncologist and his PA have been fabulous! They are all for making this as doable and easy as possible! I even found my local pharmacist was great at writing down EXACTLY what meds to take when. There are stomach issues, which mine were worse after the first infusion and not so bad now, so have some extra strenghth Immodium on hand.....Gatorade is good to have around also. As scary as ALL this is, you can do it! Easier said than done,I know, but you can do it! HAVE someone go with you to EVERY treatment and every doctor's appointment.....two heads are better than one! My husband has been my rock and I am so thankful and blessed to have him. I wish you all the best and If I can help in any way let me know..........
    Peace be with you,
    N
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    MAJW said:

    CHEMO
    MORNING....I can only relate to my own chemo. I just had my third infusion this past Monday.......3 down ONE TO GO! I am taking Taxotere and Cytoxin, every third Monday. It takes me about 3 hours total, from getting the anti nausea meds first, about 15 minutes worth, then they wait about 15 minutes for those to take effect before starting the "big guns." I also start Decadron on the day before and continue that and Zofran for three days afterwards......these are steroids and anti nausea meds.......I have NOT had one bit of nausea but then again everyone is different and it depends on the drugs you take. There are side effects........my taste buds leave me for about 5-6 days......nothing tastes right.....use plastic utensils, sometimes that helps..........I am wiped out this time, but feeling some better today.......sore throat......I also take the Neulasta injection the day after chemo to keep my white blood cells up so as not to get any infections. That kicked my butt the first time I took it! But hasn't been bad the last two times. DRINK DRINK DRINK tons of water or what ever suits you! And make yourself eat......less likely to get nauseated with something in your stomach. TAKE ALL YOUR MEDS AS PRESCRIBED! EVEN if you don't feel nauseated!!!!!!!!!!! DEMAND, don't ask, DEMAND something to ease your anxiety! I must say that my oncologist and his PA have been fabulous! They are all for making this as doable and easy as possible! I even found my local pharmacist was great at writing down EXACTLY what meds to take when. There are stomach issues, which mine were worse after the first infusion and not so bad now, so have some extra strenghth Immodium on hand.....Gatorade is good to have around also. As scary as ALL this is, you can do it! Easier said than done,I know, but you can do it! HAVE someone go with you to EVERY treatment and every doctor's appointment.....two heads are better than one! My husband has been my rock and I am so thankful and blessed to have him. I wish you all the best and If I can help in any way let me know..........
    Peace be with you,
    N

    Thank you
    to everyone who has replied. It helps to know the details of what i will be going through. I love you guys. Im definately calling for nerve meds. Thanks again

    laura
  • luana56
    luana56 Member Posts: 6
    I just had my first chemo
    Hi lolad,

    I know exactly how you feel. I was in your situation up until a few days ago. I did not know how I would respond to my first chemo treatment. Not knowing is the worst.
    I had my port insertated the same day I got my first chemo.
    Today is the third day after. I feel little weak but no other problems. So far so good.
    Yesterday I had Nulasta injection and so far no problems either.
    Each person reacts different. My neighbor was working during her full treatment. Did not miss a day. I am working from home so it is easier for me.
    I truly belive that I will feel this well after each treatment. We have to be positive and not to give in to this "small creature called ca". We have the power! We have the brain! We will win!!!
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    lolad said:

    Thank you
    to everyone who has replied. It helps to know the details of what i will be going through. I love you guys. Im definately calling for nerve meds. Thanks again

    laura

    Laura
    let us know how your first one goes when you are able! And after your first one,you'll have more of an idea of what to expect and your other ones won't be as scary.
    Drink lots of water so you can flush the drugs out of you once you get them-very important!!
    And keep up on your anti-nausea meds that you will bring home with you-even if you don't feel like you're going to get sick!
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    First Chemo
    I remember how scared I was as well. It's only natural. But you will be fine, just as all of us on this board who've had it are fine. I was on three very powerful drugs (TAC) for 6 doses. The whole regiman took about 3 hours total, with the premeds. Definitely ask for anti-anxiety drugs and anything else you need. You will probably she your oncologist every time you have a treatment. Start a notebook and write down a list of questions to ask her every time. I always had my notebook handy and a fresh batch of questions every 3 weeks before my infusion. They absolutely have to answer your questions. Don't let anyone make you feel rushed or that any question is too small to ask. This is your life and your health. So no apologies whatsoever.

    No question, this is quite a journey and not one you would ask for, but like everything else, it ends and you emerge. Many of us who've been through this are now back on our feet and feeling great. I count myself among them. Make sure also to give yourself rewards througout the process. I treated myself to small things (audio books, new dvds, etc.) during and planned a big vacation for afterwards. It's nice to look forward to something. You will be just fine, Laura.

    Mimi
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    Its difficult to answer most
    Its difficult to answer most of your questions w/o more info. Your doctor will explain your treatment plan to you. That will include the drugs and the number of treatments for each.
    They usually include anti-nausea drugs w/the infusion and prescriptions to take for up to 5 days after each treatment to cover any delayed nausea.

    I received 4 treatmens of Adriamycin and Cytoxan that took about 1 and a half to 2 hours. Then I had 4 treatments of Taxol which took about 4 hours plus an infusion of benadryl beforehand which took about 30 minutes. Each of the 8 rounds of chemo were given every 3 weeks which added up to 6 months overall.

    With each treatment I was given oral and infused anti-nausea meds and took 5 different oral anti-nausea meds at home for 5 days; one med every 3 hours while rotating through the 5 different pills.

    The AC treatments were very difficult for me but the Taxol treatments were much easier to handle.
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    Hi Laura
    I'm sorry you are going through this. My oncologist is a sweetheart and was so informative and helped me so much. If you are on Taxotere/Carboplaten the chemo should only take about 2 hours. I'd go, she'd put the anti-nausea meds in the line first, then the chemo. She did this right in her office and had a room in the back with a TV and stacks of movies. We would put the movie in right after the drip started and most of the time just about had enough time to see the end of the movie. She gave me pills for the nausea, enough for Fri night through Monday morning. Worked wonders. I can't tell you not to be afraid - the fear of the unknown gets us every time. Do you have a port? That makes it easier.
    Good luck and lots of prayers being sent your way.
    Pat
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    Awwwww, sweetie, we PROMISE
    Awwwww, sweetie, we PROMISE you will get through this part of the journey! I think most of us would agree that the first chemo was the toughest; that whole unknown thing is so freaky. You will find, however, that the chemo RNs are truly amazing...they will be at your beck and call, and do absolutely everything in their power to assure your good care. I also second what everyone else said about anti anxiety meds ...this is your time to speak up and allow medical science to work for you! We have enough oppotunities to tough it out and be brave~ being anxious and ill over chemo is NOT the time for that! It shows no weakness on your part to be honest about how you are feeling, and it can be handled with success!
    Just a quick question: did you say your hate your oncologist? If so, why? And again, if so, why is he your Dr? You sooo need to feel comfortable and well-cared for and a priority!

    Take something distracting with you; crossword puzzles, and IPod, crocheting, a book, a blankie~ whatever makes YOU feel a bit comforted.
    And you will get through this! We are with you; none of this is done alone!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Laura....
    I'm right beside you while you are scared!! This is really scary stuff!! But it sounds like you have been given some wonderful advice (did you expect anything less?) from some great warriors!! I am so sorry you hate your Onc. I must have missed something. What happened? Can you look for a different Onc that you feel comfortable with? Hang in there and hold your held up. Us women have broad shoulders and we can just about make it through anything!! Keep us posted and you know we're always right here. (:-) Pammy
  • pbcsn00
    pbcsn00 Member Posts: 4
    freaking out
    Laura - I completely understand. Not exactly knowing what will happen does throw you for a loop! I completed 12 rounds of chemo in January 2009. I had a port put in a week before chemo started. I didn't know what to expect either which is the scariest part. Once you have one treatment, the mystery is gone and it gets a lot easier.

    My treatments lasted 4-6 hours because they will draw blood first to run tests before the pharmacist will make up you "chemo cocktail". There is typically an hour of wait time minimum for this to happen as well as getting weighed in (how wonderful!) and your blood pressure checked and a chat with the nurse to see how you are doing.

    My treatment center had a large room where 5-6 patients received treatment and you could draw a curtain if you wanted privacy. They also had individual rooms with TV's.

    My daughter came with me the first time which definitely took the "edge" off. The treatment did not hurt and I did become sleepy in latter treatments and would nap. You should bring water and snacks unless your facility provides them along with a good book,Ipod,computer or DVD player with earphones - it will make things go quicker.

    I had an Internet card in my computer so I would bring my cell phone and computer and work almost the entire time (except in later rounds where I did more sleeping!)when I had a private room.

    I definitely did not have the nausea you see in the movies where they are vomiting all the time. I never lost it! I had some nausea but they give you meds to help so take them. Be prepared with a BIG pill box for multi-dose daily pills to keep you on track. I always had a burst of energy the first few days from the steroids and would lose ensrgy and be a bit emotional on day 4 and 5 when the steroids were wearing off.

    Some folks brought a bevy of friends or family. If you keep busy with any of the suggestions, the time will go quicker.

    It is definitely worth the fight and keep a positive attitude. Smile often and you will get through it!

    Patti