Reassurance

Hatshepsut
Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
A couple of people have posted pleas for reassurance in the last few days.

I've been there. I understand.

I will be forever grateful to people on this site who answered my questions, calmed my fears about my husband's illness, and welcomed me as a "member of the family" although I'm only the caregiver.

For those who need reassurance today (isn't that all of us?), I've linked an article below. This article spoke to me because my experience with cancer "as a death sentence" was profound. I lost my father more than twenty years ago to multiple myeloma. When my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2006, my reaction was initially defined by my father's experience. But, fortunately, as the cute little kid on the Kaiser ad on TV says, "things are looking up!"



NY Times

Hatshepsut

Comments

  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
    This is a very good
    This is a very good article,thank you very much for sharing with us.
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    "Only" the caregiver
    Thanks for the article, it is very good. You always seem to come up with worthwhile links to share.

    I do have to take issue with you, though. "Only" the caregiver? What's up with that? I believe that the caregiver has a much more difficult role. I can DO something about my disease and its management. My family just wants to make things better, and they can't. All the decisions are mine. I get to play the canzer card. I have an excuse to be lazy or not. I don't have to scrub toilets anymore. LOL

    I have a friend whose wife coined a new word for caregiver that I really like. Lovegiver. For those of you that go to chat, it is SoccerFreaks wife that I speak of. She is a WOCN and works with patients all day so didn't see her role with her husband as the same. I agree.

    I also take issue with our Relay for Life. During the survivor lap everyone stands and claps. I really hate that. I didn't have a choice in this, but all those standing and clapping? They are there by choice. They volunteer to be around. THAT deserves a standing ovation!

    Thank you,

    Kimby
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    Thanks
    That was a wonderful article and thank you for sharing that.

    Everyone is welcome on this board to be a part of the family and never ever sell yourself short by saying you're only a caregiver. That, my dear person, is sometimes a thankless job, but so important to the person receiving the care. Your husband is a very lucky person to have you.

    We need all the inspiration we can get. Yes, we all do.

    Kim
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member

    Thanks
    That was a wonderful article and thank you for sharing that.

    Everyone is welcome on this board to be a part of the family and never ever sell yourself short by saying you're only a caregiver. That, my dear person, is sometimes a thankless job, but so important to the person receiving the care. Your husband is a very lucky person to have you.

    We need all the inspiration we can get. Yes, we all do.

    Kim

    Kim and Kimby:
    Thank you for


    Kim and Kimby:

    Thank you for your supportive words.

    I didn't mean to whine. Perhaps in-artfully, I was trying to say that the experience of people who have colon cancer and the experience of the people who lovingly care for them is different. I appreciate having a welcoming place like the CSN where we can discuss our common experiences.

    In any event, I hope people who need a "lift" will find the article l posted (see link above) reassuring.

    Hatshepsut
  • krystle singer
    krystle singer Member Posts: 108
    No 'only' about it
    Caregivers are the vital link in the cancer fight. I am a Stephen Minister as well as a cancer survivor. Stephen Ministers are church-attached, but the training makes us all good all 'round caregivers. My husband and my best friends are me caregivers and I coudn't do without them. You are a breath of life for your care-receiver. No only about it! You are more important than you may ever know. As a Stephen Minister I was a caregiver to an amazing lady with brain cancer just before my own diagnosis. She gave me much more than I couls have ever given her and just having spent time with her helped me deal with my own cancer. Do not down play your importance in the recovery or treatment phases of your husband.

    Prayers and love,
    Krystle singer
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601

    No 'only' about it
    Caregivers are the vital link in the cancer fight. I am a Stephen Minister as well as a cancer survivor. Stephen Ministers are church-attached, but the training makes us all good all 'round caregivers. My husband and my best friends are me caregivers and I coudn't do without them. You are a breath of life for your care-receiver. No only about it! You are more important than you may ever know. As a Stephen Minister I was a caregiver to an amazing lady with brain cancer just before my own diagnosis. She gave me much more than I couls have ever given her and just having spent time with her helped me deal with my own cancer. Do not down play your importance in the recovery or treatment phases of your husband.

    Prayers and love,
    Krystle singer

    The article makes me sick
    That's not uplifting at all. Why would any one try to cure it, if we can stumble along a path of treatment until death. Screw that. All the article does is assuage the fears of getting cancer for healthy folks. With the fear of getting cancer gone, no one will spearhead an effort to eliminate it.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    Hatshepsut
    That was a very good article Hatshepsut. It's how I've come to terms with my diagnosis. While there is a slight chance I will be cured, more than likely I will live with this as a chronic disease. I've felt from the start that I have been riding the crest of a wave of new technology. That works for me.
    -phil
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    snommintj said:

    The article makes me sick
    That's not uplifting at all. Why would any one try to cure it, if we can stumble along a path of treatment until death. Screw that. All the article does is assuage the fears of getting cancer for healthy folks. With the fear of getting cancer gone, no one will spearhead an effort to eliminate it.

    I'm surprised John
    So it's an All or Nothing approach for you? I doubt they will one day make a magic pill that will cure it all instantly. I see it as a path to a cure. Of course, you can see it however you want.
    -phil
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601
    PhillieG said:

    Hatshepsut
    That was a very good article Hatshepsut. It's how I've come to terms with my diagnosis. While there is a slight chance I will be cured, more than likely I will live with this as a chronic disease. I've felt from the start that I have been riding the crest of a wave of new technology. That works for me.
    -phil

    A little over the top?
    Yeah, I was a little greedy with my first response, but only because I've been getting frustrated with what I've been finding out. I had mentioned in a recent post that there should be a fairly simple method for targeting and killing cancer cells with an RF device. My suggestion was to use telomerase as the target since it is over expressed in cancer cells. Guess what. That wasn't an original thought. In fact there was a patent issued for that idea in 1997. I can't believe it. 12 years have passed since a patent was issued. The patent expires in 2015. I've been researching the owner of the patent and trying to figure out why no one is being treated. I tried to contact the person who was issued the patent but was transferred to a law firm. I've left a dozen messages. Check it out for yourself. Just google, electromagnetic frequency and telomerase in the same search. The first couple of selections will be patents issued.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    snommintj said:

    A little over the top?
    Yeah, I was a little greedy with my first response, but only because I've been getting frustrated with what I've been finding out. I had mentioned in a recent post that there should be a fairly simple method for targeting and killing cancer cells with an RF device. My suggestion was to use telomerase as the target since it is over expressed in cancer cells. Guess what. That wasn't an original thought. In fact there was a patent issued for that idea in 1997. I can't believe it. 12 years have passed since a patent was issued. The patent expires in 2015. I've been researching the owner of the patent and trying to figure out why no one is being treated. I tried to contact the person who was issued the patent but was transferred to a law firm. I've left a dozen messages. Check it out for yourself. Just google, electromagnetic frequency and telomerase in the same search. The first couple of selections will be patents issued.

    I have my days
    Some days someone can say to me "nice day" and I'll respond with a hearty "F.U.". This crap is frustrating as hell, it's not like we all have all the time in the world here. I did do a Google but it's like reading Chinese to me. Also I'm all caught up in Michael Mania today and I can't think straight...NOT. I don't know if this is the same or similar thing John, but there was a segment on 60 minutes a year or so ago about a guy who had this machine that used radio waves to destroy cancer cells with little collateral damage.

    Found it, The Kanzius Machine. You've mentioned this before. I guess they are different things.
    http://cnettv.cnet.com/60-minutes-kanzius-machine-cancer-cure/9742-1_53-50004120.html

    People talk about things like Area 51 and aliens, and that they (pharmaceutical companies) are sitting on a cancer cure but they can make more $$ by "treating" it so they won't release it. I want to believe that it is not true, but if it is I can imagine a lynch mob going to them and making sure they won't have to worry about getting cancer...

    You research the hell out of things John, I know I appreciate it and I think everyone else does too on this site.
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601
    PhillieG said:

    I have my days
    Some days someone can say to me "nice day" and I'll respond with a hearty "F.U.". This crap is frustrating as hell, it's not like we all have all the time in the world here. I did do a Google but it's like reading Chinese to me. Also I'm all caught up in Michael Mania today and I can't think straight...NOT. I don't know if this is the same or similar thing John, but there was a segment on 60 minutes a year or so ago about a guy who had this machine that used radio waves to destroy cancer cells with little collateral damage.

    Found it, The Kanzius Machine. You've mentioned this before. I guess they are different things.
    http://cnettv.cnet.com/60-minutes-kanzius-machine-cancer-cure/9742-1_53-50004120.html

    People talk about things like Area 51 and aliens, and that they (pharmaceutical companies) are sitting on a cancer cure but they can make more $$ by "treating" it so they won't release it. I want to believe that it is not true, but if it is I can imagine a lynch mob going to them and making sure they won't have to worry about getting cancer...

    You research the hell out of things John, I know I appreciate it and I think everyone else does too on this site.

    Goose chase!
    Sorry, that search should have been for resonant frequency and telomerase. Any way the patent number is 5658234, issued aug 19,1997 and expires july 24, 2015. Check it out. It's not a complete roadmap for a cure, but with a little development will definitely get you in the ball park. So, I'm guessing, no one has researched it further because some guy already patented it. No one will bother doing additional research because they wouldn't get the credit or the money for advancing it.
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
    snommintj said:

    Goose chase!
    Sorry, that search should have been for resonant frequency and telomerase. Any way the patent number is 5658234, issued aug 19,1997 and expires july 24, 2015. Check it out. It's not a complete roadmap for a cure, but with a little development will definitely get you in the ball park. So, I'm guessing, no one has researched it further because some guy already patented it. No one will bother doing additional research because they wouldn't get the credit or the money for advancing it.

    John:

    I’m puzzled that the article I posted made you (or anyone) “sick,” but so be it. You are entitled to your opinion and I genuinely believe that it is never a bad thing to argue forcefully for a cure.

    Nevertheless, I stand unequivocally by what I said in my previous post about the NY Times article I posted (see above). I’ll even say it again: I find it reassuring (and, yes, even uplifting) to know that people stricken with cancer have increasingly numerous and effective treatment options that prolong their lives and improve the quality of their lives. In fact, I think people should stand on rooftops and shout that cancer is no longer the so-called “death sentence” it once was. I know what a difference it would have made in my life to know the promising news about cancer treatment three years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with stage three (later stage four) colon cancer.

    Let me be clear: I do understand the difference (personal and financial) between curing cancer and simply developing treatments that prolong life without curing the underlying disease. I am a realist. My life has been devastated by my husband’s illness as I suspect your life has been devastated by your cancer diagnosis. Every person on this board understands the qualitative difference between treatment and cure.

    The miserable and unavoidable truth, however, is that we don’t have an available or affordable cure for cancer at this point in time.

    We may or may not agree on the reasons for a failure to find a cure.

    Perhaps we don’t have a cure because of our dysfunctional pharmaceutical industry. (It might surprise you but my opinion of BigPharma may be even more negative than your opinion.) Perhaps we don’t have a cure because our health paradigm focuses upon chemical cures instead of natural foods and a healthy lifestyle. Perhaps there is no cure because of human greed (pharmaceutical companies and otherwise). (I have some pretty strong opinions about human greed, too.) And, perhaps it is because no talented and altruistic scientist has yet come up with a real cure.

    It is what it is.

    We simply don’t have a cure (or, more correctly, cures, since cancer is not a disease but rather many diseases.)

    Nevertheless, I am personally reassured by the knowledge that there are an increasing number of successful treatment options for cancer victims because, until we do have a cure, I want my husband (and you and Phil and Kimby and Kim and everyone else with this awful disease) to survive. True, some may be making unconscionable amounts of money by keeping people alive rather than curing them. Those same interests may well be focusing their lobbying efforts on funding research into profitable life-prolonging treatments rather than less-profitable cures. Trust me, the excessive profit realized by the “business” of suffering sickens me, too.

    I do understand your point that, absent strong motivation, the public might be lulled into complacency by reassuring arguments that cancer has simply become a controllable “chronic” disease. That is a danger, but I believe anyone who has ever had a family member or close friend suffer with cancer (that is just about everyone, I think) knows that we must have a cure. Even reduced to the status of a chronic disease, the toll cancer treatment takes on sufferers and their families is fearsome. For their mothers and fathers and sons and daughters and for themselves, people do understand what (and how awful) cancer continues to be and how important it is to find a cure. Just say the word “chemotherapy” to your friends and watch their reaction. People know.

    The problem is the self-serving politicians who do what lobbyists demand rather than what the people need. That makes me sick.

    I join you in believing that our focus should be upon finding a cure for cancer. I join you in condemning what may well be a profit-driven system that is slowing our progress toward a cure. But until we do have that cure, I know that I want there to be treatments that lengthen people’s lives and improve the quality of their lives.


    We all (cancer victims and their families) suffer alike and together.

    Hatshepsut
  • donnare
    donnare Member Posts: 266

    John:

    I’m puzzled that the article I posted made you (or anyone) “sick,” but so be it. You are entitled to your opinion and I genuinely believe that it is never a bad thing to argue forcefully for a cure.

    Nevertheless, I stand unequivocally by what I said in my previous post about the NY Times article I posted (see above). I’ll even say it again: I find it reassuring (and, yes, even uplifting) to know that people stricken with cancer have increasingly numerous and effective treatment options that prolong their lives and improve the quality of their lives. In fact, I think people should stand on rooftops and shout that cancer is no longer the so-called “death sentence” it once was. I know what a difference it would have made in my life to know the promising news about cancer treatment three years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with stage three (later stage four) colon cancer.

    Let me be clear: I do understand the difference (personal and financial) between curing cancer and simply developing treatments that prolong life without curing the underlying disease. I am a realist. My life has been devastated by my husband’s illness as I suspect your life has been devastated by your cancer diagnosis. Every person on this board understands the qualitative difference between treatment and cure.

    The miserable and unavoidable truth, however, is that we don’t have an available or affordable cure for cancer at this point in time.

    We may or may not agree on the reasons for a failure to find a cure.

    Perhaps we don’t have a cure because of our dysfunctional pharmaceutical industry. (It might surprise you but my opinion of BigPharma may be even more negative than your opinion.) Perhaps we don’t have a cure because our health paradigm focuses upon chemical cures instead of natural foods and a healthy lifestyle. Perhaps there is no cure because of human greed (pharmaceutical companies and otherwise). (I have some pretty strong opinions about human greed, too.) And, perhaps it is because no talented and altruistic scientist has yet come up with a real cure.

    It is what it is.

    We simply don’t have a cure (or, more correctly, cures, since cancer is not a disease but rather many diseases.)

    Nevertheless, I am personally reassured by the knowledge that there are an increasing number of successful treatment options for cancer victims because, until we do have a cure, I want my husband (and you and Phil and Kimby and Kim and everyone else with this awful disease) to survive. True, some may be making unconscionable amounts of money by keeping people alive rather than curing them. Those same interests may well be focusing their lobbying efforts on funding research into profitable life-prolonging treatments rather than less-profitable cures. Trust me, the excessive profit realized by the “business” of suffering sickens me, too.

    I do understand your point that, absent strong motivation, the public might be lulled into complacency by reassuring arguments that cancer has simply become a controllable “chronic” disease. That is a danger, but I believe anyone who has ever had a family member or close friend suffer with cancer (that is just about everyone, I think) knows that we must have a cure. Even reduced to the status of a chronic disease, the toll cancer treatment takes on sufferers and their families is fearsome. For their mothers and fathers and sons and daughters and for themselves, people do understand what (and how awful) cancer continues to be and how important it is to find a cure. Just say the word “chemotherapy” to your friends and watch their reaction. People know.

    The problem is the self-serving politicians who do what lobbyists demand rather than what the people need. That makes me sick.

    I join you in believing that our focus should be upon finding a cure for cancer. I join you in condemning what may well be a profit-driven system that is slowing our progress toward a cure. But until we do have that cure, I know that I want there to be treatments that lengthen people’s lives and improve the quality of their lives.


    We all (cancer victims and their families) suffer alike and together.

    Hatshepsut

    Wow
    Hatshepsut,

    That was beautiful. I share your views.

    I was reassured by the article. I understand completely where John is coming from, and of course I am praying for a CURE for everyone who has been touched by this brutal, vicious disease.

    But, after my husband was basically given a death sentence at the first hospital when he got his dx, I was relieved when his surgeon (first doc he met with at cancer hospital) said that life with cancer as a "chronic" disease was possible. It was the first small ray of hope for me.

    You got the devastation part right - and we are only at the very beginning of this. He hasn't even had his first chemo yet, but our world is forever changed and the grief and fear is sometimes overwhelming, so I hang on to every little bit of hope and reassurance I can.

    Thanks,
    Donna
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601

    John:

    I’m puzzled that the article I posted made you (or anyone) “sick,” but so be it. You are entitled to your opinion and I genuinely believe that it is never a bad thing to argue forcefully for a cure.

    Nevertheless, I stand unequivocally by what I said in my previous post about the NY Times article I posted (see above). I’ll even say it again: I find it reassuring (and, yes, even uplifting) to know that people stricken with cancer have increasingly numerous and effective treatment options that prolong their lives and improve the quality of their lives. In fact, I think people should stand on rooftops and shout that cancer is no longer the so-called “death sentence” it once was. I know what a difference it would have made in my life to know the promising news about cancer treatment three years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with stage three (later stage four) colon cancer.

    Let me be clear: I do understand the difference (personal and financial) between curing cancer and simply developing treatments that prolong life without curing the underlying disease. I am a realist. My life has been devastated by my husband’s illness as I suspect your life has been devastated by your cancer diagnosis. Every person on this board understands the qualitative difference between treatment and cure.

    The miserable and unavoidable truth, however, is that we don’t have an available or affordable cure for cancer at this point in time.

    We may or may not agree on the reasons for a failure to find a cure.

    Perhaps we don’t have a cure because of our dysfunctional pharmaceutical industry. (It might surprise you but my opinion of BigPharma may be even more negative than your opinion.) Perhaps we don’t have a cure because our health paradigm focuses upon chemical cures instead of natural foods and a healthy lifestyle. Perhaps there is no cure because of human greed (pharmaceutical companies and otherwise). (I have some pretty strong opinions about human greed, too.) And, perhaps it is because no talented and altruistic scientist has yet come up with a real cure.

    It is what it is.

    We simply don’t have a cure (or, more correctly, cures, since cancer is not a disease but rather many diseases.)

    Nevertheless, I am personally reassured by the knowledge that there are an increasing number of successful treatment options for cancer victims because, until we do have a cure, I want my husband (and you and Phil and Kimby and Kim and everyone else with this awful disease) to survive. True, some may be making unconscionable amounts of money by keeping people alive rather than curing them. Those same interests may well be focusing their lobbying efforts on funding research into profitable life-prolonging treatments rather than less-profitable cures. Trust me, the excessive profit realized by the “business” of suffering sickens me, too.

    I do understand your point that, absent strong motivation, the public might be lulled into complacency by reassuring arguments that cancer has simply become a controllable “chronic” disease. That is a danger, but I believe anyone who has ever had a family member or close friend suffer with cancer (that is just about everyone, I think) knows that we must have a cure. Even reduced to the status of a chronic disease, the toll cancer treatment takes on sufferers and their families is fearsome. For their mothers and fathers and sons and daughters and for themselves, people do understand what (and how awful) cancer continues to be and how important it is to find a cure. Just say the word “chemotherapy” to your friends and watch their reaction. People know.

    The problem is the self-serving politicians who do what lobbyists demand rather than what the people need. That makes me sick.

    I join you in believing that our focus should be upon finding a cure for cancer. I join you in condemning what may well be a profit-driven system that is slowing our progress toward a cure. But until we do have that cure, I know that I want there to be treatments that lengthen people’s lives and improve the quality of their lives.


    We all (cancer victims and their families) suffer alike and together.

    Hatshepsut

    Psychological Warfare
    I've had the pleasure of being trained in psychological warfare by our Govt. I know how to preempt the masses. Sometimes these moves are made years, even decades, in advance. Appeasement and placation are powerful tools when properly used. New things are coming, new things are coming, new things are coming. If you say it enough people get accustomed to the anticipation. When the anticipation goes away we become ambivalent. That leads to the casual acceptance of hardship. Hardship that we accept because the problem must be difficult to solve, simply because we don't anticipate a solution anymore. I see the cycle, I see the numbers, I see the solution, and I see the suffering. As long as I live, I will never accept the answer," this is the way it is, deal with it". If I can initiate change for the good I will. Figuring out how to effect change on such a grand scale and against so much opposition is the conundrum.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member

    John:

    I’m puzzled that the article I posted made you (or anyone) “sick,” but so be it. You are entitled to your opinion and I genuinely believe that it is never a bad thing to argue forcefully for a cure.

    Nevertheless, I stand unequivocally by what I said in my previous post about the NY Times article I posted (see above). I’ll even say it again: I find it reassuring (and, yes, even uplifting) to know that people stricken with cancer have increasingly numerous and effective treatment options that prolong their lives and improve the quality of their lives. In fact, I think people should stand on rooftops and shout that cancer is no longer the so-called “death sentence” it once was. I know what a difference it would have made in my life to know the promising news about cancer treatment three years ago when my husband was first diagnosed with stage three (later stage four) colon cancer.

    Let me be clear: I do understand the difference (personal and financial) between curing cancer and simply developing treatments that prolong life without curing the underlying disease. I am a realist. My life has been devastated by my husband’s illness as I suspect your life has been devastated by your cancer diagnosis. Every person on this board understands the qualitative difference between treatment and cure.

    The miserable and unavoidable truth, however, is that we don’t have an available or affordable cure for cancer at this point in time.

    We may or may not agree on the reasons for a failure to find a cure.

    Perhaps we don’t have a cure because of our dysfunctional pharmaceutical industry. (It might surprise you but my opinion of BigPharma may be even more negative than your opinion.) Perhaps we don’t have a cure because our health paradigm focuses upon chemical cures instead of natural foods and a healthy lifestyle. Perhaps there is no cure because of human greed (pharmaceutical companies and otherwise). (I have some pretty strong opinions about human greed, too.) And, perhaps it is because no talented and altruistic scientist has yet come up with a real cure.

    It is what it is.

    We simply don’t have a cure (or, more correctly, cures, since cancer is not a disease but rather many diseases.)

    Nevertheless, I am personally reassured by the knowledge that there are an increasing number of successful treatment options for cancer victims because, until we do have a cure, I want my husband (and you and Phil and Kimby and Kim and everyone else with this awful disease) to survive. True, some may be making unconscionable amounts of money by keeping people alive rather than curing them. Those same interests may well be focusing their lobbying efforts on funding research into profitable life-prolonging treatments rather than less-profitable cures. Trust me, the excessive profit realized by the “business” of suffering sickens me, too.

    I do understand your point that, absent strong motivation, the public might be lulled into complacency by reassuring arguments that cancer has simply become a controllable “chronic” disease. That is a danger, but I believe anyone who has ever had a family member or close friend suffer with cancer (that is just about everyone, I think) knows that we must have a cure. Even reduced to the status of a chronic disease, the toll cancer treatment takes on sufferers and their families is fearsome. For their mothers and fathers and sons and daughters and for themselves, people do understand what (and how awful) cancer continues to be and how important it is to find a cure. Just say the word “chemotherapy” to your friends and watch their reaction. People know.

    The problem is the self-serving politicians who do what lobbyists demand rather than what the people need. That makes me sick.

    I join you in believing that our focus should be upon finding a cure for cancer. I join you in condemning what may well be a profit-driven system that is slowing our progress toward a cure. But until we do have that cure, I know that I want there to be treatments that lengthen people’s lives and improve the quality of their lives.


    We all (cancer victims and their families) suffer alike and together.

    Hatshepsut

    Great post (again)
    There are so many factors involved as you pointed out. I feel lucky to been given time to stay ahead of my disease and hopefully be cured one day. In any event, if the drugs that were developed and came out during my initial dx were not available, I'd be using a Ouija board now to communicate instead of the internet.
    -p
  • Hatshepsut
    Hatshepsut Member Posts: 336 Member
    donnare said:

    Wow
    Hatshepsut,

    That was beautiful. I share your views.

    I was reassured by the article. I understand completely where John is coming from, and of course I am praying for a CURE for everyone who has been touched by this brutal, vicious disease.

    But, after my husband was basically given a death sentence at the first hospital when he got his dx, I was relieved when his surgeon (first doc he met with at cancer hospital) said that life with cancer as a "chronic" disease was possible. It was the first small ray of hope for me.

    You got the devastation part right - and we are only at the very beginning of this. He hasn't even had his first chemo yet, but our world is forever changed and the grief and fear is sometimes overwhelming, so I hang on to every little bit of hope and reassurance I can.

    Thanks,
    Donna

    A Kindred Spirit
    Donna:

    Your experience sounds very much like ours.

    At the time of my husband's initial surgery, my husband's first surgeon gave us little hope and expressed no interest in helping me find an oncologist to treat the colon cancer he had discovered during surgery. In fact, he basically forbade me to contact an oncologist until my husband had healed. "The cancer was so large; it must have gone somewhere. I didn't get it all," he told me in a dismal conversation I will never forget.

    I'm a pretty shy person but I couldn't/wouldn't accept the surgeon's arrogance nor could I accept his negative prognosis for my husband without a good deal more information. As I saw it, healing was not only about timing treatments; it was about making careful and informed decisions at a very difficult time.

    Fortunately, after I put myself back together emotionally (something I'm still working on), I asked to speak to the head nurse on the surgical floor. She intervened on our behalf and basically told the surgeon that he had no right to tell me I couldn't contact an oncologist. (It wasn't pretty.)

    Within days, we met with the oncologist who continues to treat my husband. He helped us evaluate my husband's disease and plan his future treatment. Within days we had a plan. Within days, I had answers to my questions about my husband's disease and prospective treatment options. Within days, we had taken the critical first step in putting together a team of doctors to help my husband heal. Within days, I had hope.

    That was 2006. In the intervening time, my husband had two more surgeries and chemotheraphy (which he tolerated very well, I thought). Today he is thriving. His most recent CT scan showed no evidence of disease.

    I would never tell you that your family's road ahead is going to be easy. It may be. It may not be. There may be complications. In my husband's case, he developed a heart irregularity (now under control) after the first surgery which unexpectedly necessitated that our "team" add a cardiologist.

    But the overwhelmingly important thing to remember is that many people do survive and that the number of survivors is growing. That is what the doctor at your first hospital and the doctor at my husband's first surgery should have told both of us. There is hope. There are treatments and lifestyle changes that affect the course of this awful disease.

    Consider the number of people on this bulletin board who are recovering (many of them even NED) and looking forward to survival and happiness. Consider, too, that the the surgeon at your husband's cancer hospital would not be talking to you about "living with cancer as a chronic disease" if he didn't think your husband had a good chance to survive with significant quality of life.

    I sincerely hope your husband does well with his treatment. I hope that you become stronger and more hopeful.

    This site has a wealth of information and an abundance of kind people to give you the benefit of their experiences. I hope I can be one of them.

    Hatshepsut
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    PhillieG said:

    Great post (again)
    There are so many factors involved as you pointed out. I feel lucky to been given time to stay ahead of my disease and hopefully be cured one day. In any event, if the drugs that were developed and came out during my initial dx were not available, I'd be using a Ouija board now to communicate instead of the internet.
    -p

    Phil - you crack me up
    Phil - This post and some of your others crack me up.

    Eric }:.}