im 43, new and scared

mightyboss
mightyboss Member Posts: 6 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I got diagnosed 2 weeks before this past Christmas. I was called an stage III
"High risk". In Jan I was given a cloststomy and then went through 6 weeks of oral Chemo and radiation. the mass was what they called a low hanger, it didn't show up anywhere else but down there.

After my 6 weeks i went into the hosp for tumor removal, that's were the fun started.
i was told they gt 99% but some was in my pelvic area and they could get to it. 5 das later i was rushed back to surg with an infection and off and on have spent 7 weeks in the hosp, 3 surg plus the port install.

I was suppose to start chemo this week but my cancer marker jumped from a 4 to a 12. so now i am having another pet scan/ cat scan July 1 then chemo after. This is all new to me and i am scared shitless.

I am 43, I live alone and its overwhelming.
any words would be greatly appreciated.

Tim

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Comments

  • ldot123
    ldot123 Member Posts: 272
    Hang in there
    Hi Tim,

    I am sorry to hear what you are going through. This is a great web site with a lot of long term survivors. I was stage III but was not exactly the same as you (no one is exactly the same) I am currently NED for almost 2 years. (no evidence of disease) There are a lot of very positive stories out there. Be aware you are not alone and that the folks here are here to help, advise, share and listen.

    Cheers, Lance
  • nudgie
    nudgie Member Posts: 1,478 Member
    Breath
    I was DX with Stage II colon cancer (sigmond colon) in July 06. I was fortunate with no lymph node involvement or signs of spreading to other organs. I started chemo in Aug 06 and finished in Oct 06 and have been NED every since (no evidence of disease). The road from 2006 - now has not been easy and it was battle I knew I had to fight.

    What helped me was family (close and far), friends, church and especially my husband. You will have good days and bad days. Days you will just cry for no reasons and days you smile and laugh. You will meet new people and make new friends. You will also learn alot of new medical stuff along the way.

    Make sure you take control of your body and health. Ask questions and never stop. Make sure you understand the treatment plan and what lies ahead.

    There are alot of people on this discussion board that have received second, third and fourth opinions from all kinds of doctors until they found a treatment plan and doctors that would work for them.

    Please keep your NEW family here posted on your progress and don't ever hesitate to ask any question, because there is NEVER a stupid question.
  • mightyboss
    mightyboss Member Posts: 6 Member
    nudgie said:

    Breath
    I was DX with Stage II colon cancer (sigmond colon) in July 06. I was fortunate with no lymph node involvement or signs of spreading to other organs. I started chemo in Aug 06 and finished in Oct 06 and have been NED every since (no evidence of disease). The road from 2006 - now has not been easy and it was battle I knew I had to fight.

    What helped me was family (close and far), friends, church and especially my husband. You will have good days and bad days. Days you will just cry for no reasons and days you smile and laugh. You will meet new people and make new friends. You will also learn alot of new medical stuff along the way.

    Make sure you take control of your body and health. Ask questions and never stop. Make sure you understand the treatment plan and what lies ahead.

    There are alot of people on this discussion board that have received second, third and fourth opinions from all kinds of doctors until they found a treatment plan and doctors that would work for them.

    Please keep your NEW family here posted on your progress and don't ever hesitate to ask any question, because there is NEVER a stupid question.

    Thank you
    Thank you so much for your response. I am just taking it all in and reaching out in all directions. I will post here and read, anything to get my head screwed on tight.
  • mightyboss
    mightyboss Member Posts: 6 Member
    ldot123 said:

    Hang in there
    Hi Tim,

    I am sorry to hear what you are going through. This is a great web site with a lot of long term survivors. I was stage III but was not exactly the same as you (no one is exactly the same) I am currently NED for almost 2 years. (no evidence of disease) There are a lot of very positive stories out there. Be aware you are not alone and that the folks here are here to help, advise, share and listen.

    Cheers, Lance

    Thank you
    It is good to know your not alone. I am glad I found this place.
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533 Member
    I understand
    I understand exactly how you feel. I am 39 and was diagnosed, stage IV, last September. I'm currently NED, but still undergoing treatment. It's been a long, tough road for me, but support from family and friends and sites like this one has helped me get through and will help you as well.
  • funnyguy
    funnyguy Member Posts: 89
    Understand
    There are many of us that understand what you're going through.
    the anxiety sucks...and the waiting for more answers doesn't help much.

    But interesting choice of words that you used..."scared shitless"

    that has so many meanings to this group of folks....

    cheers and keep your head up!
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    funnyguy said:

    Understand
    There are many of us that understand what you're going through.
    the anxiety sucks...and the waiting for more answers doesn't help much.

    But interesting choice of words that you used..."scared shitless"

    that has so many meanings to this group of folks....

    cheers and keep your head up!

    Sorry
    So sorry you had to find us, but you will find a lot of support here. You are entitled to feel scared and we all felt that way when we first found out our diagnosis. You are never alone if you visit this message board. We will always be here for you whether you have great news to share, want to vent, or some sad news of any kind.

    Kim
  • donnare
    donnare Member Posts: 266
    Hi
    Tim,

    I'm a caregiver and new here also Tim. My husband has just been dx with Stage IV. I'm so sorry you have been through so much and have to go through this at all. I don't have much experience with this yet, but I know the fear you are feeling, and I will keep you in my prayers. I have found there are wonderful people here that can offer you advice and encouragement.

    Donna
  • Julie 44
    Julie 44 Member Posts: 476 Member
    donnare said:

    Hi
    Tim,

    I'm a caregiver and new here also Tim. My husband has just been dx with Stage IV. I'm so sorry you have been through so much and have to go through this at all. I don't have much experience with this yet, but I know the fear you are feeling, and I will keep you in my prayers. I have found there are wonderful people here that can offer you advice and encouragement.

    Donna

    Hold on
    Hey Tim,
    It is very scarey to fight this monster...But it can be done!!!! Write down every question when you think of it because it becomes so over whelming at times...Take a deep breath and go one step at a time...If you are not comfortable or have doubts about your doctor or treatment get a second opinion..Each dotcor has different view of everything....It doesn't hurt to do that..In fact it gave me a great peace of mind...Keep posting here we have been there and done it so we can comfort you and give advice like crazy..lol lol Good luck and we are praying for you JULIE
  • christellabelle
    christellabelle Member Posts: 24
    You are not alone
    I know fear and anxiety always want to be present even when you don't call them. But i know that you know that deep down there is little strenght and courage laying at the bottom of it. look for it, it's there though sometimes it appears as if it's not present, find it and use it along with all the good advices and comfort you will find here on this network, to fight this fool disease. Im new here too and i wish i had came here long before, but i can tell you i feel home and i'm loving it. hey keep your shin up and keep on walking and remember i don't know if you are religious or spiritual or not but GOD always has the last say.
    You are not alone
    Love always
    christelle
  • ron50
    ron50 Member Posts: 1,723 Member
    Hi Tim,

    Hi Tim,
    I was 48 at dx ,I was st3 with 6 lymph nodes involved. I now live alone so I know what it is like to go to bed alone with your thoughts. They can get pretty dark at times. I believe that survival is a combination of wanting to survive,having a healthy hatred of cancer,good medical support,being pro active and a fair slice of luck. I knew that cancer didn't get me,that is the attitude you need. So far I am eleven and a half years clear of cancer and they consider me cured. Wishing you the best of luck,fight for all you are worth,Ron.
  • shoppergal
    shoppergal Member Posts: 118
    Scared
    I was diagnosed with stage 3 cc in Nov 2007, had colon resection in Dec, and in Jan 2008 started 6 months of chemo. I finished at the end of June 2008, and I've been NED since then. It's not an easy journey to be on but you can make it. Yes it's scary and at times you feel like you can't do it anymore, but that's when you realize how strong you really are!

    I found that at night my mind would race and I just couldn't seem to shut it off, so I started to keep a journal to get all my thoughts out of my head and onto paper. I also found a support group where I met others going thru similar things, that's when you realize you are not alone. Belonging to this website and others just like it also make you realize you're not alone.

    Stay strong and keep the faith.
    Wendy
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Hi, Tim
    Hi, Tim.

    I'm so glad you've found this site, because I think you'll find it so helpful. You may be alone in your living space, but you won't be alone in your fight. We'll be here for you.

    I so understand the scared feeling. My cancer was early stage, so I didn't have to go through all the chemo horrors, but cancer is still a scary word. You CAN beat it, though.

    Hang in there, and let us know how you're doing.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    we are here
    Hi Tim,
    I'm glad you found this site. We are here to help when we can, listen and offer support. You have already been through a lot and you are still strong and able to fight. Keep us posted.
    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • lookforward56
    lookforward56 Member Posts: 1
    keep fighting
    hi Tim, You I was fast approaching my two year ned with my breast cancer, and boom I was sick in the hospital facing emergency surgery. Stage III colon cancer lost most of my colon 60plus lympth knodes, piece of my stomach wall, some other stuff. Blew me out of the ball park another cancer, why me and yep I truly was scared shitless lol. its been a year i finally got through the chemo. Next wednesday i go back to see where we are. Ask questions, ask for print outs, ask more questions, please have a dr you can talk to , nurses are fabulous in the chemo units. talk to any other patients that want to talk.
    I have a stoma and bag ..since its here I choose to name him stewie stoma and we get along fairly well. shucks its so much easier to poop your belly than poop your pants! LOL
    remember your are still alive and God has a hold of your hand. yes scream cry, go through all the emotions but remember knowledge is power know your options never stop asking ?????
    If you do not understand then ask again. There is not one here that does not understand fear..anger...doubt..anguish, all of it and we are here to share it with each other.
    May get help you endure and strengthen you as you travel this road. Keep us posted how your doing it really helps
    carol
  • mightyboss
    mightyboss Member Posts: 6 Member
    you are all an inspiration to me
    I am so happy I have found this place. Thank you so much for all the kind words, it does help and yes I am not alone. I am a fighter, and I will try to keep focus and put my life in Gods hands. Again, thank you so much.

    Kindest Regards,

    Tim
  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    Tim
    Glad you are here...sorry you had to be. I was DX'd Stage 3 last Oct, very low rectal tumor, chemo/radiation, then surgery. I didn't have a colostomy, went back on chemo for 4 months. I just finished yesterday. So far NED on the scans. There is hope.

    There are many folks here at Stage 4 that are making it. Keep a positive attitude. Living alone is rough, but maybe you have a friend or relative that could help? A good support team is key.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Many Hugs, Vicki
  • christellabelle
    christellabelle Member Posts: 24
    VickiCO said:

    Tim
    Glad you are here...sorry you had to be. I was DX'd Stage 3 last Oct, very low rectal tumor, chemo/radiation, then surgery. I didn't have a colostomy, went back on chemo for 4 months. I just finished yesterday. So far NED on the scans. There is hope.

    There are many folks here at Stage 4 that are making it. Keep a positive attitude. Living alone is rough, but maybe you have a friend or relative that could help? A good support team is key.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Many Hugs, Vicki

    Tim
    Congrats to you too Tim, well done.
    May you stay cancer free for the rest of your life in the name of GOD.

    christelle