Hair Loss

HA! ALL of the above!
I bought myself a really good wig from a hair replacement place that specializes in custom thinning and cutting their wigs so that it looks totally natural. My wig actually looks better than my real hair EVER did! I wore the wig only in situations where I wanted the privacy of looking like everyone else, and for business appointments. I had my first chemo October 10th and was bald by Thanksgiving, so I was primarily a 'winter baldy', which I think is probably easier. (Having a hat on in winter doesn't look so odd, and a wig in summer is HOT, even a good one with a lace cap like mine.) As soon as it started to get hot, I started to go bald. You have to be psychologically ready for that: ready for stares from children, ready for strangers to come up and ask if you have cancer. I made it easier for people by getting funny T-shirts with sayings like "Does This Shirt Make my Head Look Bald?"; "I Love the Smell of Chemo in the Morning"; "Cancer: You Picked the Wrong Broad"; and a little button that read "Ask Me About My Eyebrows" that I wore after THEY fell out. Please be sure and go to the ACS "Look Good Feel Better" workshop where you'll learn how to draw on eyebrows and use liner and shadows to mask the look of no eye-lashes, and how to tie turbans and scarves in a dozen exotic ways. No woman goes bald without some level of trauma and you have my sympathy. But in the big picture, you'll quickly learn that being bald is such a small thing. Many 'wear' it as their badge of courage. (((((BIG HUGS)))))

Hey Gloria
Hair loss during cancer treatment is a big issue with me because it is always compared to the seriousness of cancer itself and of course there is great validity to that BUT at the same IT IS DEVASTATING and I don't think we should apologize for being so distraught over it. Our hair is so connected to our ego and who we are and to lose it makes us feel 'less than our true selves'. So if you feel horrified and shocked and angry and tearful about hair loss LET IT OUT, it's important and you aren't focusing on small things, each of the obstacles that come with cancer deserve discussion if it's on our minds and this board is a great vehicle for that.

I lost my hair twice, all of it. The first time I had long hair and my oncologist said to cut it short before the treatments as it would be too difficult to lose hunks of long hair so I did that. I enjoyed the new short do for a very short time til I started to find lots of hairs on my pillow in the morning then it came out with gusto shortly after that. BEfore it did fall out though I bought a full wig for going out but the saving piece for me was a triangular scarf that tied behind your head and in the front of it were fake bangs - in the color and curl of your natural hair. Some of them also had a little hair hanging out the back of the scarf too. They were so easy to wear, so comfortable and if the doorbell rang unexpectedly and I had to dash in my bald state I could grab the scarf and slip it on and go to the door just looking casual, like I had tied a scarf over my real hair. I even fooled my oncologist with it when I was in the middle of chemo. He said'You haven't lost your hair yet?' as the fake bangs looked so much like my own. That's high praise.

You will need a full wig though probably to go to work but make sure you get a really good one so that it looks as real as possible and one that is fitted properly by a proper wig stylist. Ask your Cancer Society for names of reputable dealers and stylists. Sometimes they have wig saloons right in the cancer clinics where you can purchase and have your wig styled. Buy all of this though before your treatments start so that anxiety is reduced - they will be there when you need them.

If, God forbid, I ever have to go through chemo again though I think I would shave my head and have the wigs bought and with me when I do and not go through the losing my hair normally during treatment again. It can be quite shocking when it starts to fall out and mat and come out in chunks. That's what I did and would do again if I have to go through it all again. Blessings and all the best in your treatments. Blueroses.

Gloria C said:

Thanks again
Thanks for the great advice everybody. Did you get the real or synthetic hair? heard that synthetic was softer & easier on the scalp, but real hair obviously looked better. Blue Roses, you gave me some ideas that I never would have thought of.

I am so freaked, this nightmare has only started - not even a full 2 weeks yet & what an emotional roller-coaster.

Synthetic is sooo much easier, & a good one looks natural.
A natural hair wig has to be styled weekly by a hairdresser, so if you go that route, get 2. But a high-quality synthetic wig ($200 to $500) looks just as real and is 'shake and go'.

I'll change my photo back so you can see how comfortable you can get with your bald head. (Hit 'REFRESH' under 'VIEW" & if I've changed the photo, it will pop up.) It's not that bad to be bald! Pop into the 'Uterine Cancer' Discussion Board of this website and you'll see a half-dozen photos of beautiful brave women with their bald heads enjoying the breeze.

Some of being bald is really nice: the WONDERFUL cool feel of your pillowcase on your bald head is a senual delight, and the delicious feel of a breeze or the warm sun on your scalp is wonderful. And you'll love never having to shave your legs; and not having to wash and curl your hair. And your face will never be smoother than when it's totally hairless; soft as a baby's. Yes, I know I look goofy. But if I avoid mirrors, I can let myself enjoy my hairless head. I finished chemo March 26th and have a 1/2" of peach fuzz covering my head now, and I have eyelashes and eyebrows again. I'm happy to see an end of this 'look' in sight, but I learned something about myself and my vanity this year. I see the love on the faces of my family and friends and I know I'm still beautiful to them, even with my fuzzy head and stick-out-y ears.

blueroses said:

Hi Gloria
Glad I could help you with ideas, after all what is the point of going through all of this if you can't pass along things learned in the process to help others just beginning.

As to your question about real or synthetic hair, the real does really look much better but having said that there are some fabulously real looking synthetic ones too and they are much easier to keep. It's really up to you as to what style you like and what looks best on you, a style you like might only be available in synthetic hair but it looks soooooooooo natural what's the point of getting real hair that costs a fortune more? Start looking and comparing though and like I said start with your Cancer Society for recommendations of the best places to go. Also stores that sell mastectomy wear and products would know as well where the best places are to go for wigs.

I know I mentioned this before but I truly would seriously consider shaving your head before it started to fall out. Why not save yourself the trauma of that yet? For me losing my hair both times was really rough on me. Also with the chemo you will be feeling lousy so why worry about your hair and then what's left of it - get rid of it right off - it's actually quite freeing for the short time you will be without it.

I don't know if you have spoken to your doctor about meds to help you through rough spots but for me I was given an anti anxiety drug - Lorazepam - and I took it, and still do, once in awhile when I am facing a very challenging medical time. It doesn't make you drool on yourself or get groogy and I haven't become addicted to it at all but everyone is different with how they respond to meds so do discuss it with your doc. My doc said to me 'when you need this kind of help, you need it, so why not take it' and she was right - it really took the edge off super stressful times during my treatments and alter with ongoing medical intervention.

Hope some of this helps you deal with your new situation and remember, we are all here for you. Feel free to contact me personally as well if you like, they used to have reminders sent by email if you have responses to your postings but they don't seem to do that anymore and I can miss a response now and again. All the best, Blueroses.

I know you are scared and probably overwhelmed with it all right now, most of us were at the start like you. This site will help you through all your stages as you fight the beast. I sure wish I had the site when I went through it all, so many years ago.

I AM NOT MY HAIR, SONG BY INDIA ARIE
I listened to this song a lot after I had to cut off 12 inches of thick, naturally curly hair for my treatments. I didnt lose it to chemo, but had to cut it short for radiation so the mask would fit properly. India Arie wrote it about hair styles and how women are judged by them, and the verse below is about Robin Roberts, Good Morning America, fight with breat cancer. You can google the name, and listen to it on You Tube. Here is the verse regarding Chemo....

Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY...
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within