Just wondering!

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JoMama54
JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
How many of you sisters are battling this beast while being single, and how are you handling it?
Hugs, JoMama

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  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #2
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    OMG!
    I still laugh when I see that pic!
    Sorry JoMama, married (32 going on 33 years in August) and dear hubby was there for me every step of the way. Believe me, it is a BIG help just to have him by my side even if he doesn't say a word (which is highly unlikely).
    =^..^=
  • jgridley
    jgridley Member Posts: 169
    #3
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    just wondering
    JoMama,
    married here...16 years

    Julie
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #4
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    Well here's one JoMama,
    Well here's one JoMama, Single, living alone in Tennessee, 1 daughter in Chicago, 1 brother in NYC,1 sister in D.C., 2 best friends both in other towns.....While all are supportive and there for the big things.........it's hard for me to ask for help with the little things. I've lived alone for a long time now and am comfortable with it...it's just when I'm told I need to bring someone to a test, and I have to figure out who to ask to take me ..it's an hour drive away....I hate bothering people...it'd be nice to have a significant other for those occasions...
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    #5
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    Well here's one JoMama,
    Well here's one JoMama, Single, living alone in Tennessee, 1 daughter in Chicago, 1 brother in NYC,1 sister in D.C., 2 best friends both in other towns.....While all are supportive and there for the big things.........it's hard for me to ask for help with the little things. I've lived alone for a long time now and am comfortable with it...it's just when I'm told I need to bring someone to a test, and I have to figure out who to ask to take me ..it's an hour drive away....I hate bothering people...it'd be nice to have a significant other for those occasions...
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #6
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    dyaneb123 said:

    Well here's one JoMama,
    Well here's one JoMama, Single, living alone in Tennessee, 1 daughter in Chicago, 1 brother in NYC,1 sister in D.C., 2 best friends both in other towns.....While all are supportive and there for the big things.........it's hard for me to ask for help with the little things. I've lived alone for a long time now and am comfortable with it...it's just when I'm told I need to bring someone to a test, and I have to figure out who to ask to take me ..it's an hour drive away....I hate bothering people...it'd be nice to have a significant other for those occasions...

    Well, I've been married 39
    Well, I've been married 39 years and even so my husband couldn't always go to appointments with me. He had just started a new job five months before and couldn't take off when he wanted (altho he went to most appointments). He also had to travel for a week at a time. We had just moved there and didn't have relatives or friends to help. Two of my sisters took vacation and came and stayed with me when he had to travel a couple of times and the bosses wife took me a couple times. Now I count her as a friend. I know what you mean tho, it's hard to ask for help. Hard to make a living and go through treatment.
  • The1percen
    The1percen Member Posts: 135
    #7
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    not exactly a "sister" but...
    JoMama,
    I/we have been married 29 years and my wife has been as supportive as she can be. We a sort of "different" problem from some of the others. My wife has been battling the disease of "Misdiagnosis" for the last 3 months. We finally got it figured out last week and confirmed yesterday. She has Gallbladder Disease. She sees HER surgeon on Thurday. He is out of the area on vacation the following week. NOW... I see the surgeon on the 30th and I can just see her having her surgery just as I am getting ready to have one myself. If that isn't enough of a full plate, MY dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in Dec and under went his Radiation Treatments the first two months of the year. This in turn.... (and could any one out there may be explain this...) either did something to his heart or pacemaker because 2 weeks ago, he had to have a new one put in. After the treatments he was have constant bouts with CHF. SO... I'm NOT single, but sometimes family family can cause more problems than support. It still has to be rough knowing how "men" are complete morons when it comes meeting someone new and "history" comes up. I wish you all the best... there certainly should be some guy out there who will see past the outter and look at your Inner beauty! Mike
  • JoMama54
    JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
    #8
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    The1percen said:

    not exactly a "sister" but...
    JoMama,
    I/we have been married 29 years and my wife has been as supportive as she can be. We a sort of "different" problem from some of the others. My wife has been battling the disease of "Misdiagnosis" for the last 3 months. We finally got it figured out last week and confirmed yesterday. She has Gallbladder Disease. She sees HER surgeon on Thurday. He is out of the area on vacation the following week. NOW... I see the surgeon on the 30th and I can just see her having her surgery just as I am getting ready to have one myself. If that isn't enough of a full plate, MY dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in Dec and under went his Radiation Treatments the first two months of the year. This in turn.... (and could any one out there may be explain this...) either did something to his heart or pacemaker because 2 weeks ago, he had to have a new one put in. After the treatments he was have constant bouts with CHF. SO... I'm NOT single, but sometimes family family can cause more problems than support. It still has to be rough knowing how "men" are complete morons when it comes meeting someone new and "history" comes up. I wish you all the best... there certainly should be some guy out there who will see past the outter and look at your Inner beauty! Mike

    Thanx Mike!
    For your kind words..............my thoughts are now confirmed all of you guys can read
    between the lines.
    You are all so kind, Luv JoMama
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    #9
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    The1percen said:

    not exactly a "sister" but...
    JoMama,
    I/we have been married 29 years and my wife has been as supportive as she can be. We a sort of "different" problem from some of the others. My wife has been battling the disease of "Misdiagnosis" for the last 3 months. We finally got it figured out last week and confirmed yesterday. She has Gallbladder Disease. She sees HER surgeon on Thurday. He is out of the area on vacation the following week. NOW... I see the surgeon on the 30th and I can just see her having her surgery just as I am getting ready to have one myself. If that isn't enough of a full plate, MY dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in Dec and under went his Radiation Treatments the first two months of the year. This in turn.... (and could any one out there may be explain this...) either did something to his heart or pacemaker because 2 weeks ago, he had to have a new one put in. After the treatments he was have constant bouts with CHF. SO... I'm NOT single, but sometimes family family can cause more problems than support. It still has to be rough knowing how "men" are complete morons when it comes meeting someone new and "history" comes up. I wish you all the best... there certainly should be some guy out there who will see past the outter and look at your Inner beauty! Mike

    Single ...
    Hi JoMama,

    I may not have the experiences you are asking about ... but ... I'm 65 ... was married for 21 years .. but have been divorced for 25 years... so it basically seems like I've been single forever. I guess I've become pretty independent ... and maybe even sort of a "loner."

    I was diagnosed in January and had a lumpectomy 1/21. Thankfully everything was caught early and the surgery went just fine and the chemo I had for 12 weeks was (I'm almost embarrassed to say this ... but it was) a "breeze." Weekly taxol/herceptin ... and I NEVER had ANY nausea. So basically ... I haven't really been "sick" through the entire "adventure." I have a married son who lives in Connecticut who wanted to come and "help" but I told him there wasn't anything he needed to do ... that I was fine. I have friend I've known since we were 5 ... so we are more like sisters ... and she's been the one driving me to surgery, chemo etc. ... and my second set of ears when doctors are trying to explain something to me when my brain has drifted off into never-never-land.

    I've continued to work full time .. and have only missed an hour or so several days for chmoe and doctor appointments and a day or two here for the lumpectomy and the "installation" of my port. Everyone has been terrific. My boss is the best ... and the doctors have been great about scheduling my appointments late in the afternoon so I don't have to miss any more work than necessary. I start radiation next week and the radiologist has me scheduled at 4:00 for my daily treatments ... so again ... I won't have to miss much work. I am also very lucky that EVERYTHING is here in town. I don't have to travel to another town for surgery, chemo or radiation. It's all right here.

    So ... as far as how I'm doing ... I'd say ... fine. BUT ... if at any time I had had ANY nausea ... it would have been a completely different story. I think I would have had to admit myself into the hospital. I am a real baby when it comes to tummy aches ... so I'm not sure I could have coped. Or ... if my surgery had been more complicated ... I'm sure I would have needed help.

    I know how lucky I am to have had it so "easy" ...

    Take care ...

    hugs.
    teena
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #10
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    The1percen said:

    not exactly a "sister" but...
    JoMama,
    I/we have been married 29 years and my wife has been as supportive as she can be. We a sort of "different" problem from some of the others. My wife has been battling the disease of "Misdiagnosis" for the last 3 months. We finally got it figured out last week and confirmed yesterday. She has Gallbladder Disease. She sees HER surgeon on Thurday. He is out of the area on vacation the following week. NOW... I see the surgeon on the 30th and I can just see her having her surgery just as I am getting ready to have one myself. If that isn't enough of a full plate, MY dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer in Dec and under went his Radiation Treatments the first two months of the year. This in turn.... (and could any one out there may be explain this...) either did something to his heart or pacemaker because 2 weeks ago, he had to have a new one put in. After the treatments he was have constant bouts with CHF. SO... I'm NOT single, but sometimes family family can cause more problems than support. It still has to be rough knowing how "men" are complete morons when it comes meeting someone new and "history" comes up. I wish you all the best... there certainly should be some guy out there who will see past the outter and look at your Inner beauty! Mike

    My husband had his
    My husband had his gallbladder out and feels great now. Hasn't had any problems.
  • JoMama54
    JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
    #11
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    tgf said:

    Single ...
    Hi JoMama,

    I may not have the experiences you are asking about ... but ... I'm 65 ... was married for 21 years .. but have been divorced for 25 years... so it basically seems like I've been single forever. I guess I've become pretty independent ... and maybe even sort of a "loner."

    I was diagnosed in January and had a lumpectomy 1/21. Thankfully everything was caught early and the surgery went just fine and the chemo I had for 12 weeks was (I'm almost embarrassed to say this ... but it was) a "breeze." Weekly taxol/herceptin ... and I NEVER had ANY nausea. So basically ... I haven't really been "sick" through the entire "adventure." I have a married son who lives in Connecticut who wanted to come and "help" but I told him there wasn't anything he needed to do ... that I was fine. I have friend I've known since we were 5 ... so we are more like sisters ... and she's been the one driving me to surgery, chemo etc. ... and my second set of ears when doctors are trying to explain something to me when my brain has drifted off into never-never-land.

    I've continued to work full time .. and have only missed an hour or so several days for chmoe and doctor appointments and a day or two here for the lumpectomy and the "installation" of my port. Everyone has been terrific. My boss is the best ... and the doctors have been great about scheduling my appointments late in the afternoon so I don't have to miss any more work than necessary. I start radiation next week and the radiologist has me scheduled at 4:00 for my daily treatments ... so again ... I won't have to miss much work. I am also very lucky that EVERYTHING is here in town. I don't have to travel to another town for surgery, chemo or radiation. It's all right here.

    So ... as far as how I'm doing ... I'd say ... fine. BUT ... if at any time I had had ANY nausea ... it would have been a completely different story. I think I would have had to admit myself into the hospital. I am a real baby when it comes to tummy aches ... so I'm not sure I could have coped. Or ... if my surgery had been more complicated ... I'm sure I would have needed help.

    I know how lucky I am to have had it so "easy" ...

    Take care ...

    hugs.
    teena

    My Story!
    My last 9 years has been a blurr and a mess. My husband of 10 years came home and told me he wanted a divorce, got that. Met a new guy 2 years later he moved in and in 2002 he shot himself in my downstairs bathroom because of brain cancer.....(crap I hate that word) He passed away. In 2006 I moved in to take care of my mother and father (mom had luekemia & alzheimers) dad had fallen and broke his leg where his new knee had been put in plus he was a diabetic. Well still trying to hold down my full time job (insurance) plus getting up 6 to 10 time a night with my parents I had a nervous breakdown in March 2008, lost my job of 15 years, spent 2 weeks at the Primary Childrens Hospital with my daughter and 10 years old grandson whom had a brain tumor. Had to place my dad into the Veteran Home. June 18, 2008 found out I had DCIS. Biopsy July 1, 2008, Lumpectomy July 11, 2008 (My B-day) wonderful gift huh? and then finally a radical right breast mastectomy July 24, 2008. July 25, 2009 back into surgery because my tubes were not draining, which were taken out and it meant 3 trips a week to my surgeon to be drained. August 2008 my mom was taken to the hospital low blood and phenomia.Dr. told me she wouldn't survive christmas. Well we had to put her in the Vetaran home with dad because I had another surgery 9/11/08 for a blood clot in my incision. My employment ran out in Nov.2008. I have been on Arimidex since March this year and have all the damm side affects. Mom died of her disease Jan 2009 and I had to take it upon myself to clean up their house and sell it after 60 years of marriage.
  • JoMama54
    JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
    #12
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    JoMama54 said:

    My Story!
    My last 9 years has been a blurr and a mess. My husband of 10 years came home and told me he wanted a divorce, got that. Met a new guy 2 years later he moved in and in 2002 he shot himself in my downstairs bathroom because of brain cancer.....(crap I hate that word) He passed away. In 2006 I moved in to take care of my mother and father (mom had luekemia & alzheimers) dad had fallen and broke his leg where his new knee had been put in plus he was a diabetic. Well still trying to hold down my full time job (insurance) plus getting up 6 to 10 time a night with my parents I had a nervous breakdown in March 2008, lost my job of 15 years, spent 2 weeks at the Primary Childrens Hospital with my daughter and 10 years old grandson whom had a brain tumor. Had to place my dad into the Veteran Home. June 18, 2008 found out I had DCIS. Biopsy July 1, 2008, Lumpectomy July 11, 2008 (My B-day) wonderful gift huh? and then finally a radical right breast mastectomy July 24, 2008. July 25, 2009 back into surgery because my tubes were not draining, which were taken out and it meant 3 trips a week to my surgeon to be drained. August 2008 my mom was taken to the hospital low blood and phenomia.Dr. told me she wouldn't survive christmas. Well we had to put her in the Vetaran home with dad because I had another surgery 9/11/08 for a blood clot in my incision. My employment ran out in Nov.2008. I have been on Arimidex since March this year and have all the damm side affects. Mom died of her disease Jan 2009 and I had to take it upon myself to clean up their house and sell it after 60 years of marriage.

    con't
    I am right now working part time for my son-in-law and daughter as a secretary for their business. I don't think I could work full due to the fatigue I am experiencing. Gosh I am having a pity party today huh? Well anyway I got a phone call from a guy I met over a year ago and he wanted to go out until I told him I was batteling breast cancer and thats the last I heard from him. I am not sure I even want to date but the home front sure gets lonely. My anniversary for the crap is coming up and I have been soooo depressed. I have a check up with the oncoligist next week and am afraid with my luck I will get bad news again. Oh my gosh that felt kinda good to get that off my chest.
    Sorry guys!!!
    You are a great bunch of people!
    Hugs to all...JoMama
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #13
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    I still love that picture!
    I still love that picture! Glad that you didn't lose that when we lost our g i f s :( I still laugh too when I see it.

    Sorry, I can't help you. Married and very happy! Can't imagine what I would do without him!
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #14
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    Kristin N said:

    I still love that picture!
    I still love that picture! Glad that you didn't lose that when we lost our g i f s :( I still laugh too when I see it.

    Sorry, I can't help you. Married and very happy! Can't imagine what I would do without him!

    I spent 12 years as a single
    I spent 12 years as a single mom... so, I wasn't too lonely.. but I can say that I don't know how I would make it without my husband. We were married six years ago.. I can't imagine a day without him!
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #15
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    JoMama54 said:

    con't
    I am right now working part time for my son-in-law and daughter as a secretary for their business. I don't think I could work full due to the fatigue I am experiencing. Gosh I am having a pity party today huh? Well anyway I got a phone call from a guy I met over a year ago and he wanted to go out until I told him I was batteling breast cancer and thats the last I heard from him. I am not sure I even want to date but the home front sure gets lonely. My anniversary for the crap is coming up and I have been soooo depressed. I have a check up with the oncoligist next week and am afraid with my luck I will get bad news again. Oh my gosh that felt kinda good to get that off my chest.
    Sorry guys!!!
    You are a great bunch of people!
    Hugs to all...JoMama

    JoMama54- You sure have had
    JoMama54- You sure have had a lot to deal with. You are for sure a strong women, and you will get through it all. My husband say's that when you think your plate is full, there is always room for Jello.
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    #16
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    taleena said:

    I spent 12 years as a single
    I spent 12 years as a single mom... so, I wasn't too lonely.. but I can say that I don't know how I would make it without my husband. We were married six years ago.. I can't imagine a day without him!

    My story
    My husband moved out in Oct 2008. I was diagnosed w/BC Dec 2008. Bilateral mastectomy 2/2/09--my birthday. Port put in 3/2. Started chemo 3/10.

    Have a son who is almost 6--raising him by myself--little help from soon to be ex.

    Working full time--took time off for surgery and a few hours off when I have chemo.

    I have a sister and mother who have gone with me to some appts. I go to my chemo treatments by myself.

    So I guess I am not really doing this by myself totally.

    I also have a great family on CSN that I love and they have helped me through things.

    Love you all,
    Margo
  • The1percen
    The1percen Member Posts: 135
    #17
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    JoMama54 said:

    con't
    I am right now working part time for my son-in-law and daughter as a secretary for their business. I don't think I could work full due to the fatigue I am experiencing. Gosh I am having a pity party today huh? Well anyway I got a phone call from a guy I met over a year ago and he wanted to go out until I told him I was batteling breast cancer and thats the last I heard from him. I am not sure I even want to date but the home front sure gets lonely. My anniversary for the crap is coming up and I have been soooo depressed. I have a check up with the oncoligist next week and am afraid with my luck I will get bad news again. Oh my gosh that felt kinda good to get that off my chest.
    Sorry guys!!!
    You are a great bunch of people!
    Hugs to all...JoMama

    wow...
    JoMama,
    I don't know where to begin. Except to I am sorry for the problems you too have had. Ya know, it may sound kind of cruel, but sometimes we need to hear someone elses problems to put ours in perspective. Thank you for sharing, I have been very anxiously awaiting my testing and everything else that has been going on and to hear some of the problems that everyone else has makes me realize WE ARE NOT ALONE! We have each other and even though I am not as far into my journey as most of you I hope I can provide some kind of comfort and aid, if nothing else than to say I am sorry and wish you the best. I pray that things will get get better for each and every one of you and when it does that you share the good as well. It is an inspiration to read the positives especially when you don't know WHAT to expect. The last two days I have been a little clamer after reading the posts of YOU SURVIVORS!!! Thank you, and to you JoMama, all the best!
  • JoMama54
    JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
    #18
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    tommaseena said:

    My story
    My husband moved out in Oct 2008. I was diagnosed w/BC Dec 2008. Bilateral mastectomy 2/2/09--my birthday. Port put in 3/2. Started chemo 3/10.

    Have a son who is almost 6--raising him by myself--little help from soon to be ex.

    Working full time--took time off for surgery and a few hours off when I have chemo.

    I have a sister and mother who have gone with me to some appts. I go to my chemo treatments by myself.

    So I guess I am not really doing this by myself totally.

    I also have a great family on CSN that I love and they have helped me through things.

    Love you all,
    Margo

    Thank you
    all for your kind words. I do feel blessed that I have 4 daughters that have help me through this. I wondered during their teen years why God did that to me...........but He
    knew I would need them in my later years. You are all so strong and I will learn from
    your posts. My heart is already uplifted.
    Bless you all..............JoMama
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    #19
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    JoMama54 said:

    Thank you
    all for your kind words. I do feel blessed that I have 4 daughters that have help me through this. I wondered during their teen years why God did that to me...........but He
    knew I would need them in my later years. You are all so strong and I will learn from
    your posts. My heart is already uplifted.
    Bless you all..............JoMama

    JoMama!
    you changed your hairstyle!!!!
    I like it, but I think you might have gone overboard with the makeup....
    Cat
  • JoMama54
    JoMama54 Member Posts: 78
    #20
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    cats_toy said:

    JoMama!
    you changed your hairstyle!!!!
    I like it, but I think you might have gone overboard with the makeup....
    Cat

    Ya think?
    And boy does it make a mess when I cry!! You guys do make me smile :-)
    Love, JoMama

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