May 25, 2009 - 4:41 pm
I guess the title says it all.
I recenty though I had a stomach ulcer- I took the medicines for two months, but the pain in my right rib and left rib won't go away.
So I went for a cat scan to see if I had gallstones. I do have gallstones- and I need my gallbladder taken out. But what shocked me was the 2cm mass in my pancreas they found while cat scanning my gallbladder.
They sent me for an MRI.
Now on Thursday I am having a needle biopsy.
The Drs say I dont have pancreatitis, and don't know why I have a constant ache on my left side. All they tell me is that I am waiting on the needle biospy to see what kind of cells thay are. I asked if it would be a cyst- and my Dr said that it wasnt a cyst- that theres was no fluid- and thats its solid.
I know they think I have cancer.
Since then I have been in shock and poring over the internet to learn the shocking statisitcs of this disease. I am scared and afraid of this cancer, the treatments (whipple, chemo, etc).
I feel like my breath has been sucked out of me. I dont see how this can not be cancer- I dont see how I can can cope if it is. A 2cm cancer- I will be dead in 6 months?
The intnernet says only a few candidates get the whipple, and only a few of them that do are alive 5 years later. The internet says most people with PC die within 6 months of diagnosis.
My poor gallbladder has fallen by the wayside. I dont see how a gallbaldder attack led to PC. I was ok with the gallbladder surgery. But I never even knew this was a consideration....I am only 35. I only just bought my house, planted trees and flowers. I am not ready to die.
I cant come to terms with this. I dont see how I can get through the next few days with this constant terror. I just feel constant terror. I take xanax and sleeping pills, and they help and I have a supportive husband. We are just struggling with this step: the wait for results.
Thank you for listening