sick and tired, need your help

djteach
djteach Member Posts: 273
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi everyone,
I have had a rough couple of days and am in the middle of a pity party. I'm tired, so tired and drs. cannot find a reason. So, of course they then blame the patient. My hands and feet hurt, tingle, and shooting pains. My blood work is fine as far as potassium and vit.D-3, but my ana and ra are very high indicating my lupus is acting up and I have a great deal of swelling--not of my hands and feet. I know you are not doctors and I don't expect you to give me answers, although you never know. I just feel like if this is my life, how do I get joy from being unable to stay awake for more than 4 hours at a time and when I'm awake, I am wiped out, past tired to major fatigue.

I need your help to get through this, I am not handling it well by myself this time. Please keep me in your thoughts/prayers. to get through this pity party.

Love and gentle hugs,
Donna
«1

Comments

  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Oh Donna
    I am so sorry you are so fatigued. I know the feeling well.. its as life is passing you by and you are really to tired to give a ****!! I can't give you answers but i can be your friend and tell you to keep us up on your condition so that we can pray for you! I don't handle things well by myself either, that is why i love you all so much, Jackie
  • babebussie
    babebussie Member Posts: 150
    Donna i wish i could give
    Donna i wish i could give you a hug right thru the computer. I'm so sorry your feeling so painful and tired. We have all been there and some of us are there now. Stay strong and just know that it shall pass. Everything will be okay.

    I will keep you in my prayers.
    Babe
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273

    Donna i wish i could give
    Donna i wish i could give you a hug right thru the computer. I'm so sorry your feeling so painful and tired. We have all been there and some of us are there now. Stay strong and just know that it shall pass. Everything will be okay.

    I will keep you in my prayers.
    Babe

    Thank you Babe and Jackie,
    I

    Thank you Babe and Jackie,
    I appreciate your support and your prayers. Just talking with you helps. Thank you sister warriors.

    Love you,
    Donna
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Loving Hugs

    Sorry you are not feeling well Donna, treatment is no picnic that is for sure. Please don't allow the doctors to make you think it is your fault or all in your head. I had a lot of tingling and shooting pains in my hands, legs and feet. After chemo most of it dissipated. I agree everyday is not joyful while in treatment, but try to find something positive even if it is just a small simple thing it will help to encourage you. Don't worry if you are tired and have to nap a lot it is all part of the road to recovery, once treatment is done you will find your old self slowly returning.

    Please know that you are not alone, we are all here for you to support you and help you through this.

    RE
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    don't feel bad about feeling bad, let it out. Sometimes it just helps the vocalize things (and we are very vocal here!) Pain and fatigue are very wearing, but we will be here to listen when you need to vent. Take care of yourself first!
    =^..^=
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    I'm sorry......
    I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly, Donna.

    I agree, don't let the doctors make you think that anything is your fault or that you just "think" you feel this way! Treatments take such a toll! Our bodies endure so much!

    I hope that you get some energy soon and I will be praying for that to happen. Hang in there.

    And btw, I STILL take a 3 hour nap every day!

    Hugs,
    CR
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    Donna
    I, like Babe said, wish I could reach thru here and give you a big ole hug. I am so sorry that you aren't feeling well. I wish I could write something to make you feel better. Just know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you feel better soon. And, remember...we can't always feel 100% perfect. We have all been thru so much, that at times, our bodies and our minds just breakdown. But, it will pass. Just remember that and remember how all of us love you!
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    This Will Pass
    Donna, I am so sorry that you are feeling this badly. The lupus along with cancer treatment would wipe out anyone sometimes, even our strong djteach. Please don't let the doctors' attitude make you feel worse. Doctors should feel what you/we feel just one day--they might learn from it, and definitely respect us more!

    When I am tired, I am also down mentally. It is just a vulnerable time mentally and emotionally as well as physically. It is shocking, sometimes, how weak we can feel. And then it is scary. That's how I felt after the relay the other night. Like you, I slept and slept and when I was awake I felt despair that I wasn't up and about like other people.

    But Donna, the fatigue will lessen. You will feel better, and your life will get better. This time will pass. Take it one minute, one hour at a time if you have to. Your body and mind need rest, so sleep. Your joy of life will be there when you have had the rest you need. We will be there, too, as we are now. We love you and all wish we could give you a gentle and loving hug in person. We are sending prayers and healing thoughts your way.
  • crazylady55
    crazylady55 Member Posts: 92
    Sick and tired
    I am with you: "sick and tired of being sick and tired". I also have Lupus. I don't know which treatment you are on but I was told that chemo usually put Lupus in remission and that radiation can cause flares. For me chemo caused extreme fatigue but my arthritis did well. Two months out of chemo, the arthritis is back. I just started radiation so I don't know what that will do.

    I also have neuropathy in my feet and have not found a good relief except to elevate my feet.

    One new thing that I have learned from a dietician is that a high protein diet is good for decreasing the fatigue. She also suggested high protein snacks between meals. I hope this helps you.

    Also, we all need a pity party every once in a while. I hope yours is better soon. Just remember the side effects of these treatments are only temporary and you will soon be back to your "normal" life.

    Good luck and best wishes from a fellow Lupus/BC fighter
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Dear Donna...
    So sorry you're feeling so exhausted while also experiencing pain and discomfort. I wish your doctors exhibited a more compassionate "bedside manner"... Of course, it's NOT your "fault" - I cannot imagine enduring cancer treatment while also dealing with lupus.

    Just know that this is temporary, and will eventually pass. Our bodies actually "fight" the invasive treatment, which causes almost indescribable fatigue. The body tries to heal, only to be bombarded again. Keep your focus on yourself, your need to do what you're doing, get through it, in order to come out on the other side all OK. It certainly IS frustrating to need so much rest; however, sleep is when the body does the most efficient job of - and the most - healing. It's the best "medicine" for you right now.

    You are ALLOWED your pity party! We take turns around here!

    Take good care of YOURSELF, Donna.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • reindeer4
    reindeer4 Member Posts: 4
    Hi Donna. I am sorry to hear
    Hi Donna. I am sorry to hear your feeling so low. Sometimes we have to be kinder to ourselves - it's not a pity party, it's a normal response to physical, mental and emotional strain. The feeling is so uncomfortable and scary because it feels like it's never going to go away. Maybe you can think about this rough time as traveling over a rocky bridge to get to the "other" side, where some of the weight of your troubles and worries will be lessened. These are the times when we have to hold tight to the "one day at a time" mantra, knowing that a new day may bring better things. I'm praying for you.
    Lynn
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    No pity party
    Donna, Lynn is right, you are not having a pity party. You are physically and mentally exhausted from cancer treatments and lupus. You are going through so much, who wouldn't feel tired? Doctors sometimes want to discount symptoms that they cannot directly account for. Don't let them dismiss your very real symptoms, be they physical or emotional. I get the despair that comes from extreme fatigue. It is so depressing, Donna, as many of us know. But we also know that the fatigue eventually lifts. I second someone's suggestion to get more protein in your diet if you are low on that. Also, as impossible as it may sound, excerise is supposed to help with fatigue. I know I was always more tired the less I moved. So, maybe a walk around the block or a trip to a park?

    The tingling in your hands and feet could be a sign of chemo related neuropathy and should be taken seriously by your doctor. Please bring it up again and emphasize how uncomfortable this is for you.

    Lastly, you don't have to handle this alone, Donna. That's why we're here.

    Hope you feel better.

    Mimi
  • peggy65
    peggy65 Member Posts: 100
    pity parties are great! we
    pity parties are great! we have all had them. i am so sorry that you are not feeling well. it is so disconcerting when we don't have answers to things related to our cancer. all of the stress just zaps you. know that i am behind you and send you love and hugs. peggy
  • CHERYL25671
    CHERYL25671 Member Posts: 20
    peggy65 said:

    pity parties are great! we
    pity parties are great! we have all had them. i am so sorry that you are not feeling well. it is so disconcerting when we don't have answers to things related to our cancer. all of the stress just zaps you. know that i am behind you and send you love and hugs. peggy

    huggs/prayers
    dont feel so sorry for ur self we all go thru that at one time ive got fibromylgia it is painful at times huggs n prayers to u love cheryl4
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member

    Sick and tired
    I am with you: "sick and tired of being sick and tired". I also have Lupus. I don't know which treatment you are on but I was told that chemo usually put Lupus in remission and that radiation can cause flares. For me chemo caused extreme fatigue but my arthritis did well. Two months out of chemo, the arthritis is back. I just started radiation so I don't know what that will do.

    I also have neuropathy in my feet and have not found a good relief except to elevate my feet.

    One new thing that I have learned from a dietician is that a high protein diet is good for decreasing the fatigue. She also suggested high protein snacks between meals. I hope this helps you.

    Also, we all need a pity party every once in a while. I hope yours is better soon. Just remember the side effects of these treatments are only temporary and you will soon be back to your "normal" life.

    Good luck and best wishes from a fellow Lupus/BC fighter

    Sick and tired of being sick and tired...
    You've said that so well, crazylady55. All of us are either there, or have been there.

    Focus on the finish line. I'll be hoping you do OK with radiation.

    So sorry for the breast cancer in addition to lupus.

    Best wishes to you.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273
    peggy65 said:

    pity parties are great! we
    pity parties are great! we have all had them. i am so sorry that you are not feeling well. it is so disconcerting when we don't have answers to things related to our cancer. all of the stress just zaps you. know that i am behind you and send you love and hugs. peggy

    Thank you to everyone,
    I can

    Thank you to everyone,
    I can feel those cyber hugs and they have helped so much. The one thing I wanted to let you know is that I finished with chemo and radiation several years ago. I have recently been switched from femara to Tamoxifen in Jan. I know that some of my se worsened when I switched to tamox. The fatigue came on last summer and has not let up. My onc. has told me that this is just how my life is now and I need to find the joy in what I have. I don't think it's from my lung mets because they are so small 10mm. I am not giving up and I refuse to believe that this is how my life is going to be from now on.

    I just want to thank you for the prayers and positive thoughts that you have sent my way. I am so happy that I found a group that is as wonderful as you all are. I'm feeling much better emotionally today and I do believe the physical will get better in time, I just want it now! I promise that the next time I have a pity party, I will have it catered!!

    Love and Big Hugs,
    Donna
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    djteach said:

    Thank you to everyone,
    I can

    Thank you to everyone,
    I can feel those cyber hugs and they have helped so much. The one thing I wanted to let you know is that I finished with chemo and radiation several years ago. I have recently been switched from femara to Tamoxifen in Jan. I know that some of my se worsened when I switched to tamox. The fatigue came on last summer and has not let up. My onc. has told me that this is just how my life is now and I need to find the joy in what I have. I don't think it's from my lung mets because they are so small 10mm. I am not giving up and I refuse to believe that this is how my life is going to be from now on.

    I just want to thank you for the prayers and positive thoughts that you have sent my way. I am so happy that I found a group that is as wonderful as you all are. I'm feeling much better emotionally today and I do believe the physical will get better in time, I just want it now! I promise that the next time I have a pity party, I will have it catered!!

    Love and Big Hugs,
    Donna

    Good!
    Hey, Donna! Glad you're feeling a bit better today! It's a tough road, dear. Doesn't matter if you finished chemo & rads a while back. You're still taking meds; therefore, technically, still "in treatment" as far as I'm concerned. The most important thing is to take good care of YOURSELF, always.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • tatooedinpink
    tatooedinpink Member Posts: 95
    djteach said:

    Thank you to everyone,
    I can

    Thank you to everyone,
    I can feel those cyber hugs and they have helped so much. The one thing I wanted to let you know is that I finished with chemo and radiation several years ago. I have recently been switched from femara to Tamoxifen in Jan. I know that some of my se worsened when I switched to tamox. The fatigue came on last summer and has not let up. My onc. has told me that this is just how my life is now and I need to find the joy in what I have. I don't think it's from my lung mets because they are so small 10mm. I am not giving up and I refuse to believe that this is how my life is going to be from now on.

    I just want to thank you for the prayers and positive thoughts that you have sent my way. I am so happy that I found a group that is as wonderful as you all are. I'm feeling much better emotionally today and I do believe the physical will get better in time, I just want it now! I promise that the next time I have a pity party, I will have it catered!!

    Love and Big Hugs,
    Donna

    one more thing
    Donna, I am going to add what might seem like a silly little tip, but maybe it will help you every once in awhile. When I feel really tired and hurt, I take about 10 min, put a pillow on the floor for my head, my butt up against the wall, and swing my legs up onto the wall and just lay there for and breathe deeply for about 10 min. I guess it is good for circulation and it's just some peace for a few minutes. Anyway, it has helped me many times with fatigue and pain in my legs and feet. I know with lupus, it is more complicated than that, but maybe you can try sometime.

    Hope this finds you feeling better,

    Debbie
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273

    one more thing
    Donna, I am going to add what might seem like a silly little tip, but maybe it will help you every once in awhile. When I feel really tired and hurt, I take about 10 min, put a pillow on the floor for my head, my butt up against the wall, and swing my legs up onto the wall and just lay there for and breathe deeply for about 10 min. I guess it is good for circulation and it's just some peace for a few minutes. Anyway, it has helped me many times with fatigue and pain in my legs and feet. I know with lupus, it is more complicated than that, but maybe you can try sometime.

    Hope this finds you feeling better,

    Debbie

    Dear EVERYONE!
    Thank you for

    Dear EVERYONE!
    Thank you for all of your support, hugs, and suggestions. I have been doing some of them and others, I'm going to start. I'll let you know how it goes. I am definitely feeling better than when I wrote the first post. Please know that each and every post meant a great deal to me and I will never forget your help. This group is awesome!

    Love you all,
    Donna
  • sausageroll
    sausageroll Member Posts: 415
    djteach said:

    Dear EVERYONE!
    Thank you for

    Dear EVERYONE!
    Thank you for all of your support, hugs, and suggestions. I have been doing some of them and others, I'm going to start. I'll let you know how it goes. I am definitely feeling better than when I wrote the first post. Please know that each and every post meant a great deal to me and I will never forget your help. This group is awesome!

    Love you all,
    Donna

    Sorry
    I don't know how I missed this thread. I hope you are feeling brighter. Lupus must make things so much more difficult. I have diabetes and that has been so difficult to control during chemo.

    I will be thinking of you and hope all goes well. With love Pat