Victim vs. Survivor
Comments
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Semantics
It's all a matter of semantics. Call it what you will, you are still alive and functioning. I'm not as far along in my journey as you are, so I don't know how I will feel at that point. But I hope I will be able to look to the future, because I have ten grandchildren that I plan to see grow up. I also hope that I will be grateful to have had the treatment that I received to keep me alive, even though it wasn't much fun to receive it.
Don't misunderstand--I'm not being critical of you because I am not walking in your shoes. But I will pray for you to be able to relax, deal with lingering health issues and enjoy the life God gave you.0 -
Perspective....
I look at it like this...(I had 3 cancer diagnoses over a span of 10 years, beginning almost 22 years ago)...
If it had not been cancer it might have been MS or a failed parachute (yeah, right) or a Mack truck. But it WAS cancer and I began doing the 'survival' stuff from the day I was diagnosed. And I am still doing some of it. 22 years later I still do not take my survival for granted. But I meet the challenges of every day which cancer has permanently planted in my life and I SURVIVE them.
Only if I give up do I become a victim.0 -
I agree it's all a matter of
I agree it's all a matter of semantics.; My whole outlook after I finished with the crying and the why me, was that we are all going to die. We are not immortal, so.... I made it a point that I was going to live my life to the fullest. I was going to enjoy my children, hopefully see them get married ( i have an 18 and a 16 yr old), make plans to spend the rest of my life alongside my husband for as long as God allowed me to. You can't live your life in fear of recurrence because God is the only one that put us on this earth and knows exactly when it's our time to go, so go out and enjoy the life you have. Be thankful every day you wake up that you have another chance to see the sun or rain, the moon and the stars and your family if they are close by. Don't let the depression get to you. You are a SURVIVOR not a victim. A victim lets themselves get swallowed by the disease, a survivor overcomes the obstacle. Speak to your doctor about how you feel, maybe you need medication to help you overcome this depression. Hugs, Lili0 -
Thanks Lilimmontero38 said:I agree it's all a matter of
I agree it's all a matter of semantics.; My whole outlook after I finished with the crying and the why me, was that we are all going to die. We are not immortal, so.... I made it a point that I was going to live my life to the fullest. I was going to enjoy my children, hopefully see them get married ( i have an 18 and a 16 yr old), make plans to spend the rest of my life alongside my husband for as long as God allowed me to. You can't live your life in fear of recurrence because God is the only one that put us on this earth and knows exactly when it's our time to go, so go out and enjoy the life you have. Be thankful every day you wake up that you have another chance to see the sun or rain, the moon and the stars and your family if they are close by. Don't let the depression get to you. You are a SURVIVOR not a victim. A victim lets themselves get swallowed by the disease, a survivor overcomes the obstacle. Speak to your doctor about how you feel, maybe you need medication to help you overcome this depression. Hugs, Lili
Amen. This is the attitude and optimism i need to help me become a survivor, I do not want to think of myself as a victim, nor do i want the demon to swallow me up. I know i get depressed at times, but i intend to take whatever meds i need for that and to try the most joy in life that i can. While i am alive i want to live. Not wait for the grim reaper to come and have his way with me.
God has given us all a purpose in life. There is so much encouragement and help that i have received from all of you beautiful SURVIVORS!
I know these feelings of doom and gloom are common and hard to beat. but we must look outside of our cancer and remember that we have loved ones who need us and are cheering us on also.
God bless
jackie0 -
It may indeed be a case of
It may indeed be a case of semantics....but I Survived hearing the initial diagnosis ( and I thought I would pass out and die from the fear of that horrid "C Word") I survived surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. I may have felt I was a victim of cancer, but the subsequent treatments did not victimize me, they saved my life!!!!! My "what if" game is played differently~ What if I had gotten this diagnosis is the 1950's or in the Ukraine, or the Andes. I'm sure you see my point. I have nothing against those times/places~ but being able to be treated in 2003 in the US, in a major cancer center...for that I am thankful.
I do not think for a minute that any of us has blinders on, or is a Pollyanna about our lives from the moment we suspected, and then had it confirmed that we did indeed have a decision to make regarding Cancer. It is always there, not in the forefront so much, but ready to spring into action should I dwell on a heretofore unnoticed pain.
On the other hand, my brother had acute pancreatitus~he was forced to retire from a job he loved. He was the ABC news anchor in Sacramento California for almost 30 years, but his life was in jeopardy. He is now insulin dependant,takes handsfull of prescription medications, has to religiously watch every morsel he puts in his mouth, and if he were to have even one glass of wine, he could literally DIE. His gut aches regularly. His life has been altered forever. And what are his plans next week? He and his wife are going on a 2 week European river cruise~ with insulin, meds, and the well-wishes of all of us! And why not? IF something bad were to happen to him, well, thats the chance he is willing to take. No need to stay home because his pancreas might kill him. I am positive he thinks about it, but it is not stopping him.
We are all at the same Life Party, as it were. We got a few things we never asked for, and we also would never think to give anyone else. We hate some of the things we got, and yet, we can't give them back. Notice no where did I refer to what we got as GIFTS.
I hope you find your way to Life After Cancer...I am so saddened by your heartache.
Please don't be a stranger to the Boards~ though we have opinions(!) we try not to be judgemental...all of our feelings are just that, feelings. And each of them is valid. Including, of course, yours.
Hugs,
Clauda0 -
Interesting Points of Veiwzahalene said:Perspective....
I look at it like this...(I had 3 cancer diagnoses over a span of 10 years, beginning almost 22 years ago)...
If it had not been cancer it might have been MS or a failed parachute (yeah, right) or a Mack truck. But it WAS cancer and I began doing the 'survival' stuff from the day I was diagnosed. And I am still doing some of it. 22 years later I still do not take my survival for granted. But I meet the challenges of every day which cancer has permanently planted in my life and I SURVIVE them.
Only if I give up do I become a victim.
I think that there will always be that nagging little voice to remind me of what I have and will go through thanks to Cancer... and we all have the right to feel the way we feel... cancer or not... When first dx'd... no wait back that up .. when I first found that lump ... I knew!! what it was... however I have always stubborn when it comes to fear.. guess it comes from having to face it several times ...
I just remember a little red flag when my surgeon confirmed that I had Breast Cancer-Stage 2-Grade 3-but what he said to me that day .. I dont think I will ever forget.. even though I went into my this cant really be happening let me out of here and I will get my breath and deal with this when the fog rolls out.. ha!!!! When he said and I quote:"I am sure you are wondering "WHY ME???". That is when I pulled up my big girl pants and said... "actually no I am not wondering that... I am trying to find the strength that so many young ones display when they face this kind of situation... if they can "SOLDIER" on... I have no right to whine or complain..." and I wont forget the look on his face.. he had gone silent.... or at least that is how I remember it.
I think we can "label" everything and think in "set" terms of what that means... so many have heard me say that ... this is not the worst that I have been through... and it could have been so much worse than it was. I was fortunate - *I know how many would use that term when speaking of cancer..* but, it is the TRUTH... I was !!!
I do think "skeery" thoughts at times.. and I also look at what I have gone through and what I have accomplished...what I have gained and what I have lost... and like you "Zah dawlinggggggg" I am pretty dern thankful I am here to have thoughts and whine and complain when I need too... again .. I guess it all boils down to how you see the Glass... and when I am angry .. I will throw that glass and get a new one :-) !!!! (*the sound of breaking glass is soooooooooo soothing to me*)..go figure...
regardless.... I am pretty thankful and too stubborn to let fear control me.(*..or tooo daft...LOL*)
One day at a time.. and if that seems like way toooo much.. one second at a time.. and think of all the good stuff surrounding you... and fall into sweet surrender!
I know it sounds so easy to do, I know that its easier said than done... but it beats the alternative.
Love to all!!!
~T~0 -
I know what you meanchenheart said:It may indeed be a case of
It may indeed be a case of semantics....but I Survived hearing the initial diagnosis ( and I thought I would pass out and die from the fear of that horrid "C Word") I survived surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. I may have felt I was a victim of cancer, but the subsequent treatments did not victimize me, they saved my life!!!!! My "what if" game is played differently~ What if I had gotten this diagnosis is the 1950's or in the Ukraine, or the Andes. I'm sure you see my point. I have nothing against those times/places~ but being able to be treated in 2003 in the US, in a major cancer center...for that I am thankful.
I do not think for a minute that any of us has blinders on, or is a Pollyanna about our lives from the moment we suspected, and then had it confirmed that we did indeed have a decision to make regarding Cancer. It is always there, not in the forefront so much, but ready to spring into action should I dwell on a heretofore unnoticed pain.
On the other hand, my brother had acute pancreatitus~he was forced to retire from a job he loved. He was the ABC news anchor in Sacramento California for almost 30 years, but his life was in jeopardy. He is now insulin dependant,takes handsfull of prescription medications, has to religiously watch every morsel he puts in his mouth, and if he were to have even one glass of wine, he could literally DIE. His gut aches regularly. His life has been altered forever. And what are his plans next week? He and his wife are going on a 2 week European river cruise~ with insulin, meds, and the well-wishes of all of us! And why not? IF something bad were to happen to him, well, thats the chance he is willing to take. No need to stay home because his pancreas might kill him. I am positive he thinks about it, but it is not stopping him.
We are all at the same Life Party, as it were. We got a few things we never asked for, and we also would never think to give anyone else. We hate some of the things we got, and yet, we can't give them back. Notice no where did I refer to what we got as GIFTS.
I hope you find your way to Life After Cancer...I am so saddened by your heartache.
Please don't be a stranger to the Boards~ though we have opinions(!) we try not to be judgemental...all of our feelings are just that, feelings. And each of them is valid. Including, of course, yours.
Hugs,
Clauda
I felt like a victim until I got chatting to the Survivors in here and had a rude awakening at the difference.....A "Victim" doesn't fight back. As soon as you hear the worst three words in the world and decide to go ahead with treatment, you stop being a victim, you become a fighter...then a survivor. Hugs to you J xxxxxxxxxxxx0 -
thank you Claudachenheart said:It may indeed be a case of
It may indeed be a case of semantics....but I Survived hearing the initial diagnosis ( and I thought I would pass out and die from the fear of that horrid "C Word") I survived surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. I may have felt I was a victim of cancer, but the subsequent treatments did not victimize me, they saved my life!!!!! My "what if" game is played differently~ What if I had gotten this diagnosis is the 1950's or in the Ukraine, or the Andes. I'm sure you see my point. I have nothing against those times/places~ but being able to be treated in 2003 in the US, in a major cancer center...for that I am thankful.
I do not think for a minute that any of us has blinders on, or is a Pollyanna about our lives from the moment we suspected, and then had it confirmed that we did indeed have a decision to make regarding Cancer. It is always there, not in the forefront so much, but ready to spring into action should I dwell on a heretofore unnoticed pain.
On the other hand, my brother had acute pancreatitus~he was forced to retire from a job he loved. He was the ABC news anchor in Sacramento California for almost 30 years, but his life was in jeopardy. He is now insulin dependant,takes handsfull of prescription medications, has to religiously watch every morsel he puts in his mouth, and if he were to have even one glass of wine, he could literally DIE. His gut aches regularly. His life has been altered forever. And what are his plans next week? He and his wife are going on a 2 week European river cruise~ with insulin, meds, and the well-wishes of all of us! And why not? IF something bad were to happen to him, well, thats the chance he is willing to take. No need to stay home because his pancreas might kill him. I am positive he thinks about it, but it is not stopping him.
We are all at the same Life Party, as it were. We got a few things we never asked for, and we also would never think to give anyone else. We hate some of the things we got, and yet, we can't give them back. Notice no where did I refer to what we got as GIFTS.
I hope you find your way to Life After Cancer...I am so saddened by your heartache.
Please don't be a stranger to the Boards~ though we have opinions(!) we try not to be judgemental...all of our feelings are just that, feelings. And each of them is valid. Including, of course, yours.
Hugs,
Clauda
Well put. What you wrote lightened my heart and helps me remember not to listen to some of the things people say when they are trying to help.
Hugs
Barbara0 -
not over
To me "survivor" may imply that the original life-changing event might be over, but the effects are long-term. Consider survivor of a plane crash, or survivor of a battle, or shipwreck survivor. OK...think of the plane crash survivor...No, the person is not still in the falling plane, or still in the water she landed in, but may still be learning to use the prosthetic arm or leg, or may still be in treatment for the burns. The person may choose not to fly on a plane ever again, or she may forever have to relive the experinece whenever she flies or sees a plane. Was she a victim of the crash, or is she a survivor?
For me, I am a cancer survivor. You will please note that I do not capitalize cancer (we capitalize things to show respect). I am not a victim of cancer, even though it did "attack unawares", I do not give it the honor of having the ability to carry out any premeditated action. I am a "cancer survivor"...that is a new self-image. I am me, but all the effects of cancer and its treatments (internal and external) are a part of the new me. In my mind I became a cancer survivor the moment I felt the lump and was not yet dead. My concept of cancer survivor started when my sister was diagnosed in 1999 and said, "I have cancer, but I am not sick!" She was a survivor for 6 years (Drs. gave her 6 months...shows what they know!)
That is my take on it, but I am also all in favor of each person feeling OK about their own take on it. Each of us is different and unique and no one can tell anyone else how to feel or not to feel. If you don't agree with the rest of us...Feel free to be you!
I wish for us all to live as well as we can for as long as we can, not matter how we refer to ourselves.
seof0 -
You know, I have always
You know, I have always liked the term "Survivor". It is sort of like when you give someone a gift and they don't really like it and they say that it is "interesting". Well, survivor is like that. We don't use the really good words like "Winner!" "Triumpher!" Instead we say, well....I am surviving. Don't make me say something that may be a lie like I am an indefatigible vanquisher...I am just a survivor.
BUT - OH HOW MUCH JUST BEING A SURVIVOR MEANS TO ME. (Just don't make me say I love the "gift"!)
Interesting and heartening responses from everyone and BC06, call it what you may, I love your insistance on making your own terms. love, Joyce0 -
My take....
I worked soooooo hard to achieve my life (chemo, radiation, surgery times 2 cancers in 1 year) that I savor every moment.
Now, I'm going on 4 years out from treatment, so I can move around and do things again. The enigma of cancer is that it doesn't seem to just pick the misbehavers...even if we were living life right, it can still appear...
A lady at the first Relay I went to said it best "from the day you were diagnosed, you became a survivor". I took that to heart, and it empowers me and spurs me on, every day. So, it's whatever you want to think, but I feel like cancer got 3 years of my life, it gets NO MORE!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Life after breast cancer is
Life after breast cancer is very different. Exhausted, anxious, and worried. These are feelings that all of us shared as cancer survivors and we lived to talk about it. I realize that it could have been worse for me, but cancer didn't win. I finished treatment on Christmas Eve 2008 and chose to live as if it will not return. There is a book I recommed called "After Breast Cancer" by Hester Hill Schnipper. It's a survivor's guide for life after breast cancer. Hope you have family, friends or a doctor to talk with about your feelings or problems...and come back to this network of people willing to listen, give opinions or share experiences.0 -
I Agree.Derbygirl said:Life after breast cancer is
Life after breast cancer is very different. Exhausted, anxious, and worried. These are feelings that all of us shared as cancer survivors and we lived to talk about it. I realize that it could have been worse for me, but cancer didn't win. I finished treatment on Christmas Eve 2008 and chose to live as if it will not return. There is a book I recommed called "After Breast Cancer" by Hester Hill Schnipper. It's a survivor's guide for life after breast cancer. Hope you have family, friends or a doctor to talk with about your feelings or problems...and come back to this network of people willing to listen, give opinions or share experiences.
I also read Hester Schnipper's book and was greatly comforted by her words. What I feel one day (or minute) is likely to change in an instant....and life goes on. My life has drastically changed since dx. I am just beginning to acknowledge the changes and I finished treatment in June 2008. After I read Schnipper's book, I decided to start swimming again as it is an activity I enjoyed 20 years ago. Swimming has brought me pleasure and something to look forward to. A friend recently "challenged" me to a mini-triathlon and I accepted the challenge. This is something I never would have done pre-cancer. Running isn't "my thing" as I have short legs and a long body. But I figured that if I could make it through a mastectomy and chemotherapy, training for a triathlon would be easy by comparison. Fortunately I have 5 months to prepare for it.
I guess my point is that "where ever we are" in life is where we are supposed to be at that moment in time. Life changes constantly and I imagine that I will have many other trials to survive before my life is over.
Libby0 -
So well said Lilimmontero38 said:I agree it's all a matter of
I agree it's all a matter of semantics.; My whole outlook after I finished with the crying and the why me, was that we are all going to die. We are not immortal, so.... I made it a point that I was going to live my life to the fullest. I was going to enjoy my children, hopefully see them get married ( i have an 18 and a 16 yr old), make plans to spend the rest of my life alongside my husband for as long as God allowed me to. You can't live your life in fear of recurrence because God is the only one that put us on this earth and knows exactly when it's our time to go, so go out and enjoy the life you have. Be thankful every day you wake up that you have another chance to see the sun or rain, the moon and the stars and your family if they are close by. Don't let the depression get to you. You are a SURVIVOR not a victim. A victim lets themselves get swallowed by the disease, a survivor overcomes the obstacle. Speak to your doctor about how you feel, maybe you need medication to help you overcome this depression. Hugs, Lili
Thank you Lili for those well said words. You said everything and more that I was thinking. Meds for depression (which I am still on after 5 yrs of survival) has helped me tremendous.
As I always say "live in the moment". Be appreciative of what we have. Every day is a gift wheather we are a survivor or a victim.
Hugs
Jadie0 -
Model Patient/ Inspiration to co-workers
Don't get me wrong. I have fought for my life. My doctor calls me his "model patient". I had my lumpectomy on Friday and went back to work on Monday. I got the news that the lump node was positive after all, so had second surgery to remove lump nodes the following Friday and again was back at work (with drain) on Monday. When I had chemo, I had it on Friday mornings, was back at work as soon as it was done and back to work on Monday. Finished chemo, started exercising regularly and daily radiation. At the end my co-workers had a reception and said I was an inspiration, many did not even know that I was going through anything. My point however was that people assume when you say that you are a survivor, that the ordeal is over and life is back as it was. The public needs to know that life does not go back as it was. My family seems to have learned nothing from my experience. They think everything is "back to normal" , that I "survived". They don't understand that I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all. There is more to dealing with cancer then surviving the treatment. It also includes dealing with all the emotions. That is what saying that I am a victim means to me.0 -
OH, yeah, that....well.....Breastcancer06 said:Model Patient/ Inspiration to co-workers
Don't get me wrong. I have fought for my life. My doctor calls me his "model patient". I had my lumpectomy on Friday and went back to work on Monday. I got the news that the lump node was positive after all, so had second surgery to remove lump nodes the following Friday and again was back at work (with drain) on Monday. When I had chemo, I had it on Friday mornings, was back at work as soon as it was done and back to work on Monday. Finished chemo, started exercising regularly and daily radiation. At the end my co-workers had a reception and said I was an inspiration, many did not even know that I was going through anything. My point however was that people assume when you say that you are a survivor, that the ordeal is over and life is back as it was. The public needs to know that life does not go back as it was. My family seems to have learned nothing from my experience. They think everything is "back to normal" , that I "survived". They don't understand that I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all. There is more to dealing with cancer then surviving the treatment. It also includes dealing with all the emotions. That is what saying that I am a victim means to me.
I see your point now. More of how the 'outside world' views your experience.
Some of that is just a feeling of 'if I ignore it, it will never happen to me'. We speak often here of the 'new normal'. Wherever I go now, almost 4 years post-treatment, people are surprised to hear my story...."But you look so healthy!" they proclaim. I say "Yes, but at a cost...you should see me at night!!!" (I ALWAYS say this with a chuckle). I went through a period of 'Joan of Arc of cancer'. I tried to change the world. It doesn't work, so I settled for changing MY attitude to 'Well, if it doesn't matter to them, I won't share anymore, but it STILL is important to me, and I DO matter'. Every once in a while I will share, when someone is complaining 'Yes, I know...I'm a double cancer survivor, and I'm not supposed to be alive right now'. Teehee...usually stops the complaining....ROFL!
I guess I bristle at the word 'victim'. It implies that you are helpless to do anything about it. And you are NOT! Go out and live life LARGE...that's my take. If others don't understand, well, pity them...but don't take their indifference to heart. You fought a bigger battle than most people will fight in their lives...and you should be proud!!!
Changes? Well, sure! I have 12 inches less colon. I can't lift anything too heavy with my 'special' arm (lymph nodes removed). I am lactose intollerant. If I look into that dark corner where reoccurance lives with the spider webs, well, it gives me the willies, so I DON'T look!
Generally, people don't care except about how life affects THEM. That's reality. But YOU care about YOU, and that's what matters...go out, with a big smile on your face, and DARE people to wonder why you are so HAPPY!!!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
You wrote that very well andBreastcancer06 said:Model Patient/ Inspiration to co-workers
Don't get me wrong. I have fought for my life. My doctor calls me his "model patient". I had my lumpectomy on Friday and went back to work on Monday. I got the news that the lump node was positive after all, so had second surgery to remove lump nodes the following Friday and again was back at work (with drain) on Monday. When I had chemo, I had it on Friday mornings, was back at work as soon as it was done and back to work on Monday. Finished chemo, started exercising regularly and daily radiation. At the end my co-workers had a reception and said I was an inspiration, many did not even know that I was going through anything. My point however was that people assume when you say that you are a survivor, that the ordeal is over and life is back as it was. The public needs to know that life does not go back as it was. My family seems to have learned nothing from my experience. They think everything is "back to normal" , that I "survived". They don't understand that I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all. There is more to dealing with cancer then surviving the treatment. It also includes dealing with all the emotions. That is what saying that I am a victim means to me.
You wrote that very well and I agree. I understand about the part where your coworkers say you are an inspiration. I know that others struggle for a way to deal with our experience, and it is here where we are safe to say things like...Don't tell me that! My boss was just one of several who said I was her hero and that she never could have gone through what I did. I smile and change the subject while inside I am spouting unspoken words like, "And just where do you think the choice came in and just where do you think the exit ramp was?" One time someone told me how strong I was to continue working as if nothing had happened, blah, blah, and I actually said, "I wasn't strong. I was desperate. Desperate to pretend that my life wasn't changing and desperate to still be me and still have my friends. Desperate not to be pitied. Desperate not to be singled out. I was never strong, just desperate."
But usually, I try to ignore the remarks that miss the target because I know how many times, when dealing with other people's problems, I say the wrong thing.
Thanks for your sensitive and interesting posts! Love, Joyce0 -
WowBreastcancer06 said:Model Patient/ Inspiration to co-workers
Don't get me wrong. I have fought for my life. My doctor calls me his "model patient". I had my lumpectomy on Friday and went back to work on Monday. I got the news that the lump node was positive after all, so had second surgery to remove lump nodes the following Friday and again was back at work (with drain) on Monday. When I had chemo, I had it on Friday mornings, was back at work as soon as it was done and back to work on Monday. Finished chemo, started exercising regularly and daily radiation. At the end my co-workers had a reception and said I was an inspiration, many did not even know that I was going through anything. My point however was that people assume when you say that you are a survivor, that the ordeal is over and life is back as it was. The public needs to know that life does not go back as it was. My family seems to have learned nothing from my experience. They think everything is "back to normal" , that I "survived". They don't understand that I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all. There is more to dealing with cancer then surviving the treatment. It also includes dealing with all the emotions. That is what saying that I am a victim means to me.
It sounds like you did a great job of coping through your battle. I admire you! And you are right, life will never be the same as is the case with most crisis situations. I just want you to be happy and enjoy life and I hope that with time, you will be. I'm sure you already are most of the time. This IS the right place to vent and you DO have a right to your feelings. Thanks for elaborating and explaining to us how you feel.0 -
You are totally right. TheyBreastcancer06 said:Model Patient/ Inspiration to co-workers
Don't get me wrong. I have fought for my life. My doctor calls me his "model patient". I had my lumpectomy on Friday and went back to work on Monday. I got the news that the lump node was positive after all, so had second surgery to remove lump nodes the following Friday and again was back at work (with drain) on Monday. When I had chemo, I had it on Friday mornings, was back at work as soon as it was done and back to work on Monday. Finished chemo, started exercising regularly and daily radiation. At the end my co-workers had a reception and said I was an inspiration, many did not even know that I was going through anything. My point however was that people assume when you say that you are a survivor, that the ordeal is over and life is back as it was. The public needs to know that life does not go back as it was. My family seems to have learned nothing from my experience. They think everything is "back to normal" , that I "survived". They don't understand that I am still dealing with the aftermath of it all. There is more to dealing with cancer then surviving the treatment. It also includes dealing with all the emotions. That is what saying that I am a victim means to me.
You are totally right. They don't understand. Only someone that has walked in our shoes can understand the horror, sickness, pain, both physically and emotionally that we have gone through and unfortunately, they will never know until they do. For us, understanding another survivor is easier, as we've experienced all the emotional ups and downs of battling cancer, we understand the fear both up front and in the back of our minds of recurrence, the feeling of helplessness as we have absolutely no control of this disease. I'm sorry I misunderstood your original post. The one good thing out of this for me was the wonderful people I have met on this site that have gone through and that are going through what I've been through. That makes it special, to have a place to come to where we can post our triumphs, our fears, and our insecurities and have so many people respond that we don't feel alone in this crazy curve ball we've been thrown. I admire your tenacity in fighting this disease and you remind me of myself, as I also did very similar to you. I was fortunate to be able to work all the time I was going through chemo and went back to work 1 week after my mastectomy. I just said to myself that this disease was not getting the best out of me. And yet...... almost 2 years later (will be June 1st) I still have my days. Hugs, Lili0
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