how do i accept

amandaleegr
amandaleegr Member Posts: 7
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
how do we accept that our loved one has passed away after all that we have done and worked so hard for?How do i help but not feel that it was all for nothing if at the end of the day i am sitting alone with no spouse to comfort and love me.

Comments

  • green50
    green50 Member Posts: 312
    Sorry for your Loss
    I lost my husband to cancer in October of 2005. I miss him also but time does heal some of the hurt and you remember the laughter. Tom was my soul mate of almost 30 years. We were married shy of one month of being 28 years of marriage. You will have good and bad days. I also have cancer, 7 years, and still am fighting but I will always remember his words" One day at a time" and make it simple woman" To try and keep up with what he did and I did is impossible. I am on disability now and I have help from my family and friends. Go do things with your friends. I remember things he taught me and smile with the memories. My sons help me and I comfort them. My husband was 54 years young. Make some new memories with family or friends. Its not easy especially after just a couple months but It gets easier and remembering he is in no more pain or stress. Tom was not the type who wanted to be waited on but the last couple months I did. He was a wonderful person and I feel like he is still with me. I Have had unexplained things happen and I just smile knowing he is still near.
    God Bless and MY Prayers are with you with a Big Hug
    Sandy
  • amandaleegr
    amandaleegr Member Posts: 7
    green50 said:

    Sorry for your Loss
    I lost my husband to cancer in October of 2005. I miss him also but time does heal some of the hurt and you remember the laughter. Tom was my soul mate of almost 30 years. We were married shy of one month of being 28 years of marriage. You will have good and bad days. I also have cancer, 7 years, and still am fighting but I will always remember his words" One day at a time" and make it simple woman" To try and keep up with what he did and I did is impossible. I am on disability now and I have help from my family and friends. Go do things with your friends. I remember things he taught me and smile with the memories. My sons help me and I comfort them. My husband was 54 years young. Make some new memories with family or friends. Its not easy especially after just a couple months but It gets easier and remembering he is in no more pain or stress. Tom was not the type who wanted to be waited on but the last couple months I did. He was a wonderful person and I feel like he is still with me. I Have had unexplained things happen and I just smile knowing he is still near.
    God Bless and MY Prayers are with you with a Big Hug
    Sandy

    THANK YOU
    hi sandy
    thanks for the reply its good to know that there are others out there that care sorry to hear about your loss and that you are now sick cancer is such a terrible thing.me and my husband were only married for 5 months when i lost him and were only together for a year and 6 months it was a very quick thing but in that time i learned to love him so much he was my everything and it is so hard i was only gettin to know him properly and he fell sick so quickly i wish more than anything that i could have him back he was my heart and soul i really do hope that time will heal the wounds because at the moment it feels as if every day my heart breaks more and more for him i do try to go out with friends and enjoy myself but its difficult because all my time was spent with morne.thank you very much for messaging me you will be in my thoughts and prayers and i know that you will get better
    lots of hugs to you!!!!!!
  • green50
    green50 Member Posts: 312

    THANK YOU
    hi sandy
    thanks for the reply its good to know that there are others out there that care sorry to hear about your loss and that you are now sick cancer is such a terrible thing.me and my husband were only married for 5 months when i lost him and were only together for a year and 6 months it was a very quick thing but in that time i learned to love him so much he was my everything and it is so hard i was only gettin to know him properly and he fell sick so quickly i wish more than anything that i could have him back he was my heart and soul i really do hope that time will heal the wounds because at the moment it feels as if every day my heart breaks more and more for him i do try to go out with friends and enjoy myself but its difficult because all my time was spent with morne.thank you very much for messaging me you will be in my thoughts and prayers and i know that you will get better
    lots of hugs to you!!!!!!

    Soul Mate
    Whether its 5 months or 30 years Your soul mate is still your soul mate. I had unexplained things happen though and I believe he is near. And you may too. I know it hurts and I wish I could help you more. But time does help. I know he is near and I have to hold on to that. You take care and keep up going places or doing whatever helps.
    Prayers and Hugs
    Sandy