i am scared
Comments
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scared
Hello Chris,
I totally understand how you are feeling, I was 40 when I was first diagnoised with breast cancer. It is quite normal to be terrified, but try to calm yourself and try to think positively. You will most likely have a host of additional doctor appointments to attend in the near future so they can sort out what stage you are and what the best treatment for you will be. It would be a good idea to take a trusted family member or friend with you to these appointments because most of us are so bothered by the whole expierience we often do not hear all that is being said to us by our oncologist. Please be sure to ask any and all questions you have and do not be timid ask your doctor to explain what he means if you do understand. You may even want to write down a list of questions you have because you may not recall them when you are in the doctors office. Remember i was 40 when i was first told i had cancer, I am 51 now it can be lived with.
We are all survivors here and we support each other so come and see us when you need to lean on those who have been in a similar situation.
My best to you and many ((((((HUGS)))))
RE0 -
Welcome Chris
I was 38 when I was first diagnosed. And guess what? I turned 60 this summer!
Breast cancer is hard but it is DOABLE. It is NOT a death sentence.
As RE mentioned, your best course of action right now is to take some deep breaths, get your medical team in place, and get your personal support team by your side.
Whether it is your spouse, sister or other family member, or a good friend, you will need someone (or perhaps more than one) who can be available to you in practical and emotional ways basically 24/7. There is no reason for you to try to do this alone. This site will be one of your most valuable resources if you choose to use it. We are here all the time and you will always find someone who has been where you are in every phase of this journey and can advise, comfort, challenge, and pray for you every step of the way.
Please don't ever hesitate to ask for help. When you are through this tunnel and out the other side, then you can find ways to 'pay it forward'. But for now it is all about YOU.
God bless and you are in my prayers. Please keep us updated.0 -
I agree completely...
Breathe. Don't panic. It doesn't change anything. Get a notebook to write down questions for your doctors...hearing those 3 words, 'you have cancer' tends to affect the hearing.
You have arrived at the warmest, most knowlegeable breast board around. I don't think much can happen to you that hasn't already happened to one of us here, and we can offer advice and support!
I was an old lady of 49 when I heard the 3 words. First for colorectal cancer, then 6 months later for breast cancer. I recently got all my scan results, and, 4 years after those words were spoken to me, I am cancer free!
You will be, too....
Come here often, post any question you might have....
Welcome!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Same hereKathiM said:I agree completely...
Breathe. Don't panic. It doesn't change anything. Get a notebook to write down questions for your doctors...hearing those 3 words, 'you have cancer' tends to affect the hearing.
You have arrived at the warmest, most knowlegeable breast board around. I don't think much can happen to you that hasn't already happened to one of us here, and we can offer advice and support!
I was an old lady of 49 when I heard the 3 words. First for colorectal cancer, then 6 months later for breast cancer. I recently got all my scan results, and, 4 years after those words were spoken to me, I am cancer free!
You will be, too....
Come here often, post any question you might have....
Welcome!
Hugs, Kathi
Chris,
I too am the only female in my family to have breast cancer. I am 48. It is hard to understand, comprehend the news. You must give yourself time to process all this info, it is devastating to receive the diagnosis. And yes, catch your breath. Most of us ask all those questions of "why me" and "how could this be" "what will happen to me, my family"......they are all normal emotions. You have come to a place of comfort, reassurance and hope. Fear is normal too. Just don't let it carry you off into a place of despair. Face it. Fight. You will be amazed at the strength that will rise up in you.
We are here for you.
Melanie0 -
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
I am the first woman in my family to have Breast Cancer too!! I was 53, and now am 59~ we understand all too well the fear you are experiencing. But don't be "scared to death"~ be strong and LIVE!!!!
There will be decisions to be made, of course~ and we will be with you every step of your journey.
Keep us posted; we care about you!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
Calm yourself dear........
When my doctor said I had breast cancer I lost it right there in his office. The poor man probably got home late that night but, bless him for he did his best to comfort me and to assure me that I would be fine. My immediate thought was that I had just been given a death sentence, as up to that point everyone I knew that had cancer died within 2-3 years.
I was 45 then and now I am 54 - healthy and cancer free!!!!!!!! I had some "Why Me?" moments, a lot of them, but I believe that everything we experience in life makes us stronger and more compassionate. There are positive things that can come out of cancer. You are probably not at a point to see that yet. My appreciation of life and loved ones is stronger now. Be strong and take it all one step at a time. Keep us posted. This is a great support group!!!!0 -
Hearing your story seems
Hearing your story seems like I'm reliving mine. There is no cancer in my family and at 48 I was diagnosed with Invasive ductal carcinoma. I wasn't overweight, didn't drink, smoke ate healthy and bang, I have breast cancer. I guess we won't really know why but I want you to know that you've come to the right place for support. The women and men here are a wonderful group of survivors who can tell you their experiences and hopefully help answer your questions. After I was diagnosed, I made sure to bring someone with me to each and every doctor visit. I bought a small pad and wrote every question that would pop into my head so that when I went to the doctor I wouldn't forget to ask. My husband went with me to a few visits but my girlfriend went to each and every one and she would write down the answers for me so that I could review everything once I was home and not so overwhelmed with information. You need to take someone with you because the doctors give you sooo much info that you really can't absorb everything they are telling you. You haven't said what stage you are nor what options they have given you. I was diagnosed Stage 1 with a grade 2 tumor. I know you are scared as we all were when diagnosed, but I want you to know that there are women here on this site that were diagnosed many, many years ago and are still here with us. Please keep us posted. Hugs, Lili0 -
Scared..........artizan said:Calm yourself dear........
When my doctor said I had breast cancer I lost it right there in his office. The poor man probably got home late that night but, bless him for he did his best to comfort me and to assure me that I would be fine. My immediate thought was that I had just been given a death sentence, as up to that point everyone I knew that had cancer died within 2-3 years.
I was 45 then and now I am 54 - healthy and cancer free!!!!!!!! I had some "Why Me?" moments, a lot of them, but I believe that everything we experience in life makes us stronger and more compassionate. There are positive things that can come out of cancer. You are probably not at a point to see that yet. My appreciation of life and loved ones is stronger now. Be strong and take it all one step at a time. Keep us posted. This is a great support group!!!!
Hi, I am (was) the only woman in my family to get breast cancer (age 46) It is frightening, but lie back, think of (whatever country you come from) Grin and bear it, the treatment is not really that awful...We do get through it, and can barely remember it, It is a year since I was diagnosed. All I can remember was the Chemo nurses were wonderful and the radiation wasn't that bad, due to the fantastic attitude of the technicians there........It was a breeze. Please, don't be scared, It really is NOT that bad.........Hugs to you..0 -
BIG HUG!!
I understand how you feel ... COMPLETELY. I was diagnosed in August/September of this year, had a mastectomy on September 12, stage III, and am now in the chemo process. And, like you, this last year I was healthier than I had been in years. I keep saying "life comes at you fast sometimes."
One thing that my oncologist said to me that I appreciated is that my overall health will help me, and you too, fight and recover from the cancer.
Believe in yourself and feel free to sit down and cry real hard. I still find it hard to believe I have cancer. And a good cry is sometimes just what I need to flush some emotions and move forward. Take it a day at a time.
We are all survivors.
All my best wishes and loads of hugs to you. We'll get through this together!0 -
Don't blame yourself. I
Don't blame yourself. I know, it's your first instinct to say, "How did I get this? What did I do?" But here's the thing-
There was nothing we did to make this happen.
I was diagnosed at age 29. Very healthy, fit, ate right, exercised, no family history, blah, blah, blah. But here I am. It makes no sense. I spent a good amount of time looking around me to figure out whether it was something I ate, drank, breathed, touched, etc. and guess what? I still don't know and truthfully, I am past trying to unlock the mystery. The most important thing now is to kill the beast.0 -
Chris, Everything is goingyoung_one said:Don't blame yourself. I
Don't blame yourself. I know, it's your first instinct to say, "How did I get this? What did I do?" But here's the thing-
There was nothing we did to make this happen.
I was diagnosed at age 29. Very healthy, fit, ate right, exercised, no family history, blah, blah, blah. But here I am. It makes no sense. I spent a good amount of time looking around me to figure out whether it was something I ate, drank, breathed, touched, etc. and guess what? I still don't know and truthfully, I am past trying to unlock the mystery. The most important thing now is to kill the beast.
Chris, Everything is going to be alright. I am the first woman to get breast cancer in my family also and I have three other sisters. If the doctors knew what causes breast cancer none of us would have it. They do know how to get rid of it. Trust them. I was also scared when my doctor told me. This web site is a good place to come if you need to talk about it.0 -
Everyone has written very
Everyone has written very beautifully. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago. I went through what you may be feeling. There is one thing I didn't really understand till later. And I wish I had known it right away. As follows:
You have breast cancer when they find a cancerous tumor in your breast. Whether they do a lumpectomy or a mastectomy, when they remove the tumor you no longer have cancer. They may find that the cancer has spread to your lymph nodes and they will remove the unhealthy ones and extra to make sure they have them all. All the rest of the stuff after surgery is just to make sure they got everything, and if they didn't, the chemo and radiation cripple extra cancer cells so they have less of a chance to do any mischief. It is all insurance against it coming back.
I don't know what your treatment path is, and If you are like me you are repeating over and over "I have cancer!?!". But soon you will be able to say..."I had cancer and I am showing it just how unwelcoming my body is to any future visits!"
You will get through this. And we will be there when you need us. love, Joyce0 -
Panic
I too found out this week that I have breast cancer. I'm so confused. The nurse called me with the results and when she went over what was to happen next, she made it clear you are not going to die. When I saw the Dr. I said so I'm not going to die. He said Well we don't know. Later he said he had to say that until we see the what stage it is. I have my MRI this morning and surgery next week. The panic and despair is awnesome. I'm 57 and I hate been needy or not in control. I feel so vulnerable0 -
Sadly, it's part of the process....KathleenSusan said:Panic
I too found out this week that I have breast cancer. I'm so confused. The nurse called me with the results and when she went over what was to happen next, she made it clear you are not going to die. When I saw the Dr. I said so I'm not going to die. He said Well we don't know. Later he said he had to say that until we see the what stage it is. I have my MRI this morning and surgery next week. The panic and despair is awnesome. I'm 57 and I hate been needy or not in control. I feel so vulnerable
Panic, sadness, loss of control. All part of this cancer program.
BTW, most doctors won't buy into saying one word: 'Cure' (my first oncologist refuses to say it, ever). At least not at the beginning. So, don't let your doctor's response bother you much...they tend to be a pragmatic bunch. It's because they have seen so much that this darn cancer can take away...
On a MUCH lighter note. The possibility of you doing anything but living on is small...3% by last national count. And that includes these people that don't come for treatment until their breast is falling off!!!! AND, you have stumbled onto one of the best breast boards around!!!
You will learn patience. You will learn that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You will learn that having control all of the time isn't what it's cracked up to be. These lessons can be life altering, granted, but this,too, can be good.
As you can see, I'm one of the 'Suzi Sunshines' here. I am 4 years out from first a rectal cancer (stage III) diagnosis, and then 6 months later, a breast cancer (stage II) diagnosis. I am currently NERD (No Evidence of Residual Disease). I was given 6 months to live, 4 years ago.
Welcome to the family! We have your back, dearheart.
HUgs, Kathi0 -
Panic
Oh thank you your words were so soothing. They really helped. The tone on this board is so loving and encouraging.0 -
Kathleen SusanKathleenSusan said:Panic
I too found out this week that I have breast cancer. I'm so confused. The nurse called me with the results and when she went over what was to happen next, she made it clear you are not going to die. When I saw the Dr. I said so I'm not going to die. He said Well we don't know. Later he said he had to say that until we see the what stage it is. I have my MRI this morning and surgery next week. The panic and despair is awnesome. I'm 57 and I hate been needy or not in control. I feel so vulnerable
Don't be frightened. I too like being in control and can have a pretty big fear of the unknown. You are in a difficult place right now but hang in there. It was my experience that the oncology nurses are very understanding and compassionate. Don't hesitate to call them with any questions you have.0 -
KathiKathiM said:Sadly, it's part of the process....
Panic, sadness, loss of control. All part of this cancer program.
BTW, most doctors won't buy into saying one word: 'Cure' (my first oncologist refuses to say it, ever). At least not at the beginning. So, don't let your doctor's response bother you much...they tend to be a pragmatic bunch. It's because they have seen so much that this darn cancer can take away...
On a MUCH lighter note. The possibility of you doing anything but living on is small...3% by last national count. And that includes these people that don't come for treatment until their breast is falling off!!!! AND, you have stumbled onto one of the best breast boards around!!!
You will learn patience. You will learn that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You will learn that having control all of the time isn't what it's cracked up to be. These lessons can be life altering, granted, but this,too, can be good.
As you can see, I'm one of the 'Suzi Sunshines' here. I am 4 years out from first a rectal cancer (stage III) diagnosis, and then 6 months later, a breast cancer (stage II) diagnosis. I am currently NERD (No Evidence of Residual Disease). I was given 6 months to live, 4 years ago.
Welcome to the family! We have your back, dearheart.
HUgs, Kathi
You made me howl.............So funny, breast falling off......Go for it0 -
ControlKathleenSusan said:Panic
Oh thank you your words were so soothing. They really helped. The tone on this board is so loving and encouraging.
I too felt out of control between diagnosis and start of treatment. For me that included a mastectomy, 4 months of chemo and just completed 5 1/2 weeks of radiation.
As soon as they gave me a schedule of treatments, I felt better and less at loose ends. It's kind of nice to be "handled" (kind of like the Princess you should now become), and with frequent Dr. visits where I could ask questions. That's something I did frequently due to chemo brain and repeated because I sometimes needed to hear it again, not because I'd forgotten.
Come back here after each step and procedure. We'll be ready to support, answers, support, cyber-cry with you, and support you (Did I mention what a supportive group this is)?
Like someone said, take a deep breath and get your part of the "team/support group" together. Control what you can, and trust the doctors and nurses to do their best. You'll be surprised how far along the path to beating the beast you are once you take that big breath.
Good luck!0 -
Tasha_111tasha_111 said:Scared..........
Hi, I am (was) the only woman in my family to get breast cancer (age 46) It is frightening, but lie back, think of (whatever country you come from) Grin and bear it, the treatment is not really that awful...We do get through it, and can barely remember it, It is a year since I was diagnosed. All I can remember was the Chemo nurses were wonderful and the radiation wasn't that bad, due to the fantastic attitude of the technicians there........It was a breeze. Please, don't be scared, It really is NOT that bad.........Hugs to you..
How is your lymphodema? Did you get some relief for what you were feeling?0 -
Panic
You know this is so much an emotional journey as a physical one. I went for my MRI yesterday and actually feel asleep during it. I did get some good news. It is hormone fed and the other gene test was also good. Of course now I'm obesessing about the MRI and what will that find. I am also beating myself up becuase I am still smoking. I can't belive how much guilt I havr over that. Like I deserve to be sick. Bleieve me I know how nuts I sound. You are all so loving. Kathleen0
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