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A question

Sandi1's picture
Sandi1
Posts: 278
Joined: Aug 2008

Hi, as most of you know I am the caregiver to my husband who has stage 4 colon cancer. So many of you have told me that in order to take good care of my husband, I need to take care of myself. As I sit here at work right now, struggling to actually work, I start wondering - how do I take care of myself? I'm tired all of the time, i'm stressed to the point where I can't sleep, and if I do sleep it's only for an hour or two at a time. We just had to ask his mother for help to pay the bills. Things that were so easy for us before (like paying the bills) has become an up hill battle. We are trying to keep things as normal as possible, like having our friends over for dinner, going to family members houses to visit - but we just can't afford it. It's either gas for the car to get to work, or food on the table. Luckily, my mother in law is a wonderful person and has been trying to give us money since this whole terrible ordeal started. Any way, i'm still trying to figure out how to take care of myself, so I can take care of him, I don't know, this seems so hard for me to figure out too.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Sandi

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Hi Sandi,

My heart goes out to you. Some pampering ideas to "take care of yourself" don't have to cost anything.

What I find helps is to get daily exercise. My alone time walking is also my prayer/meditation time. I guard it fiercely. This is taking care of myself. Even if I am tired I always feel more refreshed when I am done no matter how tired I was.

Hot candlelit bubble baths with soft music. These cost nothing and help to relax. It's also a good prayer/quiet time. Visualize all that stress leaving your body and when you pull the plug you can send all that stress down the drain.

Journaling. This was a must for me. It's a great place to process what is happening, tap into deep emotions, and leave it on the paper.

I am blessed to have a sauna (woodfired tucked in our woods) and I take my journal in there and write by headlamp and candlelight. It doesn't cost a thing.

If you lived closer I'd invite you to come sit in my sauna with me. :-)

I hope this helps.

peace, emily (who is at work too and has to cut this short as my break is up....)

Sandi1's picture
Sandi1
Posts: 278
Joined: Aug 2008

Thank you Emily. I have tried to take time to do something for myself - but I feel so guilty, thinking what if something happens to him while I am taking time for myself. That is the part I am having trouble with.

Sandi

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Hi Sandi,

I understand. Boy do I. When my sister was very sick there were 2 (3?) weeks that I just couldn't bring myself to go visit with her. I was drained emotionally and physically. I was so scared that something would happen and I would never see her again. It was so hard. But when I did go back I was more refresed from taking the time off. You have the added stress of being there 24/7.

We are so not in control of what is going to happen and we need to release the guilt. Easier said than done, I know. A happier more refreshed caregiver is a gift you can give him too remember.

Just a thought.

peace, emily

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