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angelsbaby
angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
WE WENT TO THE DOCTOR UESTERDAY HUSBAND TOLD THE DOCTOR THAT IF HE IS GOING TO BE SO SICK VOMITING 4 DAYS HE DOSN'T WANT IT.HE IS GETTING ERBITUX AND CAMPTOSAR. HE SAid they could lower dosage maybe change chemo drugs ect. doc did say that his cea maker is 4 the chemo could be working i let into him sayiNg you can't beleave that test my husband has stage 4 reoccurance he is full of cancer stomaCH LIVER KIDNEY AND BOWEL Again and his cea IS 4 I DON'T BELEAVE IT AND THE DOCTOR SAYS HE REALLY DOESN'T BASE HIS DESCISION ON THAT TUMOR MARKER I AM SO MAD.I WANTED A PET SCAN AT THE END OF A MONTH OF CHEMO DOC SAYS ITS TO SOON MY HUSBAND IS LOOKING AT 6 MONTHS TO LIVE MAYBE I DON'T WANT THOSE MONTHS WASTED ON IT MAY BE HELPING I WANT TO KNOW IF IT IS HELPING IF NOT DO SOMETHING ELSE, TIME IS MY HUSBANDS LIFE WE CAN;T SCREW AROUND. I LIKE THE DOC BUT THIS IS MY HUSBANDS LIFE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. iGUESS I'M SCARED AND MAD AT THE SAME TIME , iWANT THIS TO WORK I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM BUT IT IS OUT OF MY CONTROLL BUT I STILL HAVE MY OPINONS AND I WILL SPEAK


ANGELSBABY

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  • pamness
    pamness Member Posts: 524 Member
    #2
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    I don't really understand your post
    However, I gather your husband's current treatment is making him quite ill. What anti-nausea meds is he on. Also, if his cancer is extremely advanced, what does he want to do? CEA is not the most reliable indicator in the world, but if it was high and has dropped considerably, what do the doctors have to say about that.

    No doubt, you are in a terrible situation, but, if you can, try to let reason prevail and figure out what is actually going on and what the best next steps would be.

    Pam
  • apache4
    apache4 Member Posts: 272 Member
    #3
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    pamness said:

    I don't really understand your post
    However, I gather your husband's current treatment is making him quite ill. What anti-nausea meds is he on. Also, if his cancer is extremely advanced, what does he want to do? CEA is not the most reliable indicator in the world, but if it was high and has dropped considerably, what do the doctors have to say about that.

    No doubt, you are in a terrible situation, but, if you can, try to let reason prevail and figure out what is actually going on and what the best next steps would be.

    Pam

    This is not too clear....
    Maybe it would help to reorganize your information so that it is easier to understand for you both and for we on this discussion board that would like to help in any way we can.
    Is the cancer everywhere as you seem to indicate? If so, what does the doctor say about hospice care? This would offer help both physically and emotionally for both of you.
    Have you spoken about quality of life? If the treatments are making him miserable and are no guarantee for longer life, does he really want to try them?
    With cancer this advanced to so many organs, the reality is that quality time and putting affairs in order, may be the most productive things you both can do. What does the doctor say?
    There are so many things to think about that I know it must be overwhelming. I am dx 6/06 Stage IV with inoperable mets to liver. After more then 30 rounds of chemo, I decided to go the natural diet route and enjoy quality of life. The Erbitux and Irinotecan were too much for me. My children are supportive of my decision and I feel much better right now. This is just my decision and I would not "push" it on anyone else. Just FYI...
    Praying for you and your family,
    Linda
  • Limey
    Limey Member Posts: 446 Member
    #4
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    Hi Angelsbaby
    I can understand where you are coming from. You seem like a very loving wife that wants only the best for her husband. you want to fix this and you are not able to. turning it over to doctors that are not as informative about treatment must be very frustrating.

    I doin't have allot of answers for you but I can certainly relate to some of your post. Advanced stage cancer is difficult as you are making decisions about quality vs quantity of life but in the middle you still want the doctors to cure him. sometimes that can happen, but sometimes it can not. I have been trying for 4 years to stop this cancer from spreading and it is not listening to me so far.

    my suggestion would be to get a sheet of paper and start writing down what is upsetting you and what is unclear. don't worry about how you write it, just get it down on paper. Maybe even divide it into questions about focusing on killing the cancer and questions on providing the best quality of life for your husband. once you have them all down, you can re-write them to make the most sence.

    call a meeting with your doctor and ask away and write down the answers. then if you want, get a 2nd opinion, or sit down with your husband and start talking. I think the answers will come to you.

    I know your mad, and I don't blame you, cancer tries to take away what is special to us. but... try if you can take a breath and don't allow cancer to have this part of you. don't let cancer get you upset, it just wasted time that is so critical to both you and your husband. I wish you both peace and happiness.
    Mark.
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #5
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    i get confused sometimes
    sorry, I was reading my own post and i see what you mean and it dosn't help that i type with two fingers and when you are mad its hard to put words the right way. As for hospice i am a cna i would take care of him myself,like I did for my mother who died at 49 from brain cancer in 1981. My husbands family is very suportive so thats helping. Thanks for responding even thou it was confusing to read

    angelsbaby
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #6
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    angelsbaby said:

    i get confused sometimes
    sorry, I was reading my own post and i see what you mean and it dosn't help that i type with two fingers and when you are mad its hard to put words the right way. As for hospice i am a cna i would take care of him myself,like I did for my mother who died at 49 from brain cancer in 1981. My husbands family is very suportive so thats helping. Thanks for responding even thou it was confusing to read

    angelsbaby

    Sounds like you have had time to calm down
    it sounds like you have been able to take a deep breath and calm down a bit. This will help you in the days ahead to make the decisions that need to be made. Mark has a very good suggestion about writing down questions and then writing down the answers you get. It can get very confusing when you are sitting across from the oncologist and all you can think is "MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER, FIX IT!". And certainly, after discussing the icky details with your husband, if a second opinion is called for, then you should be able to get a referral from your doctor and the American Cancer Society can help with large treatment centers in your area. You and your husband need to have an honest discussion about this; don't hold back on what your fears are, and let him express his fears and hopes. I am sure it will be easier, just take it a day at a time. God be with you. Mary
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #7
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    msccolon said:

    Sounds like you have had time to calm down
    it sounds like you have been able to take a deep breath and calm down a bit. This will help you in the days ahead to make the decisions that need to be made. Mark has a very good suggestion about writing down questions and then writing down the answers you get. It can get very confusing when you are sitting across from the oncologist and all you can think is "MY HUSBAND HAS CANCER, FIX IT!". And certainly, after discussing the icky details with your husband, if a second opinion is called for, then you should be able to get a referral from your doctor and the American Cancer Society can help with large treatment centers in your area. You and your husband need to have an honest discussion about this; don't hold back on what your fears are, and let him express his fears and hopes. I am sure it will be easier, just take it a day at a time. God be with you. Mary

    thanks
    thanks mary i feel blessed that people like yourself want to help me threw this i do appreciate that . take care

    angelsbaby

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