New to this
Sandi
Comments
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Hope
There are a lot of members of this forum who have done well with liver mets. Do a search on this site for previous posts, although I am sure you will get a lot of feedback from them firsthand. If there is only one met and it can be operated on, that's good news. I'm hearing there are other options too, such as radiation and RFA. Do a lot of research. Get a second or third opinion from a major cancer center. Ask the great folks here for help. My own situation does not the same, so I can't speak directly to your need.0 -
Welcome to the board
So sorry to hear of your news but you are at a good place for support. I am 42 and diagnosed with colon cancer April 2008. Although mine did not affect my liver, there are many people on this site that have and have had positive results with treatment. At the beginning when I found out I was so overwhelmed. I was told on a friday and that weekend is a blur. Don't try to get all your answers in 1 day. Find out the facts, get a plan, (surgery, chemo, radiation) then get a support group. This is a huge life changing event but treatment is so much better now that years ago. As hard as it is, try to keep positve mental toughts. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You are in my prayers, good luck to you.0 -
Thank youcjf2006 said:Hope
There are a lot of members of this forum who have done well with liver mets. Do a search on this site for previous posts, although I am sure you will get a lot of feedback from them firsthand. If there is only one met and it can be operated on, that's good news. I'm hearing there are other options too, such as radiation and RFA. Do a lot of research. Get a second or third opinion from a major cancer center. Ask the great folks here for help. My own situation does not the same, so I can't speak directly to your need.
What is mets? I keep reading that here. And what is RFA - please clarify, as i said I'm new to this. We haven't even seen the surgeon yet, it feels like we are floating around. We are both trying to be strong for the kids. Althought they are all over the age of 13 the oldest being 20 - it is difficult to be strong for them.
Thank you
Sandi0 -
Hi Sandi
I was dx'd in November 2005. You can read my personal web page to get the whole story. It seems that you still have a lot of information that you need to gather. How far did the cancer spread to the liver, is it anywhere else, are there surgical options? There are many options available and the best thing for you to do right now is make yourself informed. Colorectal cancer responds very well to surgical removal, and there are also things such as RFA (radiofrequency ablation) which can also target tumours in the liver,lungs and bones to eradicate it. Take a deep breath, and don't give up hope, there are many people on this board who have survived Stage IV cancer, and we are all going to pray that your husband is also on that list. Monica0 -
Hi Sandi
My situation is very similar to your husband. I am 51 years old diagnosed rectal cancer with spread (metastasis) to liver. Dr. thinks the liver lesions are too many and too big to do surgery. That does not mean it cannot be done later. I am going thru pre-surgery chemo right now. There will be total of 12 treatments. I am on #5. After the #6 treatment I will have another CT scan to see if the liver lesions shrink.
There is a lot of new thing going on with liver surgery. First thing you and your husband should do is to gather as much information as possible. And most important thing is to keep your spirit up. Fighting cancer is a team effort. Your husband is young he should be able to handle this fight. He is lucky to have you on his side.
I am sure your doctors will come out with a good treatment plan.
Email me if you need more info.
Peter0 -
I'm very sorry to hear the
I'm very sorry to hear the news about your husband,and understand that right now you are in shock,this is the worst part, once that you both have a plan to fight this desease you will start to feel better,you are going to hear of so many survivers in the same situation that your husband is, that are doing great after years from diagnosis. have faith and try your best to stay positive. God bless you both.0 -
Sandi1-
when reading your post, it could have easily have been mine a year ago. my HB was diagnosed with cancer also on the 13th (Friday the 13th of April 07), he was 44 at the time, now 45. The scan also showed liver abnormalities and I was a nervous wreck. he had the surgery and turned out that the cancer had not spread to the liver, so don't worry sometimes scans aren't totally accurate. Even if so, as others have said, there is so much that can be done these days that it isn't the death sentence it once was.
He most likely will have to undergo chemo after surgery, but even that wasn't as bad as I feared and in retrospect he did quite well, except for the neuropathy but we won't go there.
Just focus on One Step at a Time, and believe that he will be cured. He's young and can take the treatment. Hang in there, this is a great board with a lot of caring people.
~Faith880 -
Thank you Faith88Faith88 said:Sandi1-
when reading your post, it could have easily have been mine a year ago. my HB was diagnosed with cancer also on the 13th (Friday the 13th of April 07), he was 44 at the time, now 45. The scan also showed liver abnormalities and I was a nervous wreck. he had the surgery and turned out that the cancer had not spread to the liver, so don't worry sometimes scans aren't totally accurate. Even if so, as others have said, there is so much that can be done these days that it isn't the death sentence it once was.
He most likely will have to undergo chemo after surgery, but even that wasn't as bad as I feared and in retrospect he did quite well, except for the neuropathy but we won't go there.
Just focus on One Step at a Time, and believe that he will be cured. He's young and can take the treatment. Hang in there, this is a great board with a lot of caring people.
~Faith88
Thank you, I am a nervous wreck, i'm sick to my stomach all the time. When he's not around I cry uncontrollably. Yesterday, he went to work - he usually works from home - when I got home there was no one there, no husband, no kids - it was the worst feeling ever. I have trouble just getting the daily chores done. Like loading the dishwasher seems like a mountain to me anymore. I mean it doesn't help that I have two teenagers living in the house. I have explained to them they need to help more, but I get the same old response, yeah, yeah - you know teenager speak! Anyway, I got the mail and in the mail was a card for my husband, i opened it, because i open all the mail - It was a healing/prayer card from my bosses mother. Well, that started me crying again. I just wish we could get into see the surgeon, so I can know where we are going with this. I so desperatly want to get him through this so we can get back to our lives. I realize that it will never be the same, but you know some kind of normalacy would be nice. We still have alot of travelling we want to do - and we are starting to plan our 10th wedding anniversary trip, we are going on a cruise to Alaska. So we have that to look forward to and to fight for.
Anyway, coming to this website every day helps me tremendously. Whenever I'm down, you guys bring me right back up. This will probably be the way it's going to be for a while. But Thank you very much.
Sandi0 -
It's okay to crySandi1 said:Thank you Faith88
Thank you, I am a nervous wreck, i'm sick to my stomach all the time. When he's not around I cry uncontrollably. Yesterday, he went to work - he usually works from home - when I got home there was no one there, no husband, no kids - it was the worst feeling ever. I have trouble just getting the daily chores done. Like loading the dishwasher seems like a mountain to me anymore. I mean it doesn't help that I have two teenagers living in the house. I have explained to them they need to help more, but I get the same old response, yeah, yeah - you know teenager speak! Anyway, I got the mail and in the mail was a card for my husband, i opened it, because i open all the mail - It was a healing/prayer card from my bosses mother. Well, that started me crying again. I just wish we could get into see the surgeon, so I can know where we are going with this. I so desperatly want to get him through this so we can get back to our lives. I realize that it will never be the same, but you know some kind of normalacy would be nice. We still have alot of travelling we want to do - and we are starting to plan our 10th wedding anniversary trip, we are going on a cruise to Alaska. So we have that to look forward to and to fight for.
Anyway, coming to this website every day helps me tremendously. Whenever I'm down, you guys bring me right back up. This will probably be the way it's going to be for a while. But Thank you very much.
Sandi
Sandi,
Even though I'm the cancer patient, I understand your viewpoint very well. My husband was brought back from a sudden cardiac arrest in 2000. I still have trouble being alone in the house or doing something alone that we usually do together (if he has to work or something). It gives me that lonely feeling of, "This is what it would be like all the time if he had not been revived."
As the patient, I will tell you that in my experience, I've just recently realized how sad it made me that my family tried to be too strong when I was diagnosed last November. They specifically tried to avoid crying in front of me. It didn't bother me at the time, but now that I'm "coming to" a little, so to speak, I have wondered why they didn't show the amount of emotion I might have expected. What I'm trying to say is that you don't always have to cry alone. I wouldn't advocate weeping copiously 24 hours a day, but it won't harm your husband to see you shed a few tears occasionally. You've probably always come to him for comfort in times of need, and it might make him feel more normal to have you do so now.
Your husband is lucky to have a wife who cares so much. As for the house, do what you can, and keep asking the kids for help. And if doesn't look perfect, so be it. Life's not always House Beautiful, right?
This board will help you tremendously. We're all eager to know how this process goes for your family, so keep us informed.
*hugs*
Gail0 -
caretaker
Sandi-
I am in a similar situation to you as a caretaker/advocate. I am the youngest of three children and the only daughter. I know what you are going through all too well. Last November my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer, she and I were in the emergency room, awaiting a visit from the doctor, completely in shock, thinking she had just received a death sentence. My whole family was distraught, overwhelmed and finding it hard to focus.
She turned to me and said, "You are my strong one. You are the one who will be strong for me and everyone else. I know you will." At that moment, I decided that no matter what I would advocate for her best interest, educate myself about this disease, find her the best treatment I could and fight for her at what ever cost or loss of sleep. I was able to separate myself from being her daughter and being her advocate (very difficult, but necessary at the time) and get focused on how to approach each day, each doctor, each test. Here are some tips I think might be helpful to you:
1. Don't read statistics.
2. Don't worry about what you don't know, you cannot change it.
3. If a doctor doesn't give you hope, find a new one.
4. Be strong for yourself and your family, the will follow your lead.
5. As hard as it is, take this one day at a time.
6. Realize that you've probably had fears about the loss of your husband, children, family many times before, and now acknowledge that they are just fleeting thoughts. Live the here and now.
7. Finally, go to each doctor's visit armed with questions. Take a notebook and/or small recorder so you can remember everything. Use your time with each doctor to the fullest, that is what they get paid the big bucks to do.
I don't mean to be cliche. Allow yourself to cry, scream, be overwhelmed. You will soon see that the time you are not focused will be outweighed by the time you are focused on the positive. If you have any questions about anything...i'm sure I've had them before. email me.0 -
Emailingkrystiesq said:caretaker
Sandi-
I am in a similar situation to you as a caretaker/advocate. I am the youngest of three children and the only daughter. I know what you are going through all too well. Last November my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer, she and I were in the emergency room, awaiting a visit from the doctor, completely in shock, thinking she had just received a death sentence. My whole family was distraught, overwhelmed and finding it hard to focus.
She turned to me and said, "You are my strong one. You are the one who will be strong for me and everyone else. I know you will." At that moment, I decided that no matter what I would advocate for her best interest, educate myself about this disease, find her the best treatment I could and fight for her at what ever cost or loss of sleep. I was able to separate myself from being her daughter and being her advocate (very difficult, but necessary at the time) and get focused on how to approach each day, each doctor, each test. Here are some tips I think might be helpful to you:
1. Don't read statistics.
2. Don't worry about what you don't know, you cannot change it.
3. If a doctor doesn't give you hope, find a new one.
4. Be strong for yourself and your family, the will follow your lead.
5. As hard as it is, take this one day at a time.
6. Realize that you've probably had fears about the loss of your husband, children, family many times before, and now acknowledge that they are just fleeting thoughts. Live the here and now.
7. Finally, go to each doctor's visit armed with questions. Take a notebook and/or small recorder so you can remember everything. Use your time with each doctor to the fullest, that is what they get paid the big bucks to do.
I don't mean to be cliche. Allow yourself to cry, scream, be overwhelmed. You will soon see that the time you are not focused will be outweighed by the time you are focused on the positive. If you have any questions about anything...i'm sure I've had them before. email me.
How do you email someone on here?0 -
So sorry you are having to
So sorry you are having to be here, but with what you are dealing with, I'm glad you found this site.
Take the time you need for educating yourself. A second opinion from a large teaching hospital is essential. Many of us can provide guidance here if you can tell us where you are located. I was diagnosed 3 years ago with cancer very similar to yours. Check my website. Today I am cancer free or NED (no evidence of disease).
Don't cry alone. Give your husband a chance to know you are grieving so that he can grieve with you. He also needs to cry and needs lots of hugs.
Let us know as you journey through this crazy disease. Maybe we have experienced your pain and can help.
Jo Ann0 -
Jeremiah 31:17
hi Sandi,
Welcome to the boards. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. How wonderful that you have an anniversary trip to look forward to and focus on. Goals are imperative in living--it underscores our hope in life.
I have been on both sides of this cancer fence--watching my sister go through this 19 years ago and then getting my own diagnosis 7 years ago. I truly think being a caretaker was harder than being the patient. My heart goes out to you.
I had control over my own choices but I had to watch more helplessly while my sister got sicker. I did a lot of crying too. (both gigs--mine and hers!)
One of the things that empowered me, and you can do for your hubby, was to educate myself as much as possible about cancer and how to heal it.
I was Stage 3 sigmoid colon lymph positive zero mets....meaning it had spread to my lymph outside the colon but had not gone into any organs (usually the lungs and/or liver are common colon mets).
I opted to NOT do any chemo (had watched my sister--no thank you!) and instead researched my options for alternative treatments. This is the readers digest version of what I learned:
1) cancer cannot live in an alkaline environment therefore alkalize my system (cut out ALL sugars, whites, alcohol, dairy, meat--they are acidic)
2) enzymes are imperative for ALL life therefore increase my ingestion of enzymes from raw foods (mostly JUICING organic veggies)
3) DETOXING is a must-- be it from environmental toxins, emotional toxins, and relationship toxins (toxic people)
So i am here to give you hope that 7 years later I am still alive and kickin' and better than ever! You can take action and clear out toxic food, energy, people, and create a wonderfully healing environment for your hubby. As for the teenagers, I understand--I have 5 kids-- they didn't really "get it" that I was sick and needed their understanding and help. Good luck.
You just shed your tears as you need to and come on here for a shoulder to cry on any time too. We have been there. :-)
peace, emily0 -
Hello,
I am stage 4 and had
Hello,
I am stage 4 and had a liver met (metatisis) when diagnoised. It was relatively large but fortunately not near major blood lines. I was able to have a liver resection (fancy word for cutting that part out) at Stanford. I suggest you look into a major cancer center that does liver surgeries often. I know others who over 5 years have had RFA's done multiple times. An RFA is a less complicated procedure that essentially has a probe inserted and heat delivered to kill small areas of a tumor. Usually a biosopy is not done if a PET scan and CT show up positive and he soes have cancer. You do have time but please seek out a major hospital near that can do the surgery. I had to drive 4.5 hours to get to mine and do the chemo as well, but you can do it.
Impactzone0 -
It Will Get Better
Hi Sandi
I am sorry for what you are going through. My husband was the patient, I the caretaker. He was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer in September 06. It is such a scary time and I wondered how we would ever get through it. I remember wondering if we would ever get our life back. It does get better, but you are right, it will never be the same. That is not always a bad thing; cancer has taught us how to live our life better.
I hope that you can find a doctor and a treatment center that you feel comfortable with---if you don't have that, keep looking! It makes it easier if you can put your trust in your doctors. Learn as much as you can--it makes things a little less scary. There is a lot of good information on the web-----but don't look at the statistics. They are all out dated and there are new treatments.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you. We all understand what you are going through. Hang on, it may be a bumpy ride, but you will get there! Please feel free to e-mail me. Have faith!
Faith0 -
HI Emily2bhealed said:Jeremiah 31:17
hi Sandi,
Welcome to the boards. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. How wonderful that you have an anniversary trip to look forward to and focus on. Goals are imperative in living--it underscores our hope in life.
I have been on both sides of this cancer fence--watching my sister go through this 19 years ago and then getting my own diagnosis 7 years ago. I truly think being a caretaker was harder than being the patient. My heart goes out to you.
I had control over my own choices but I had to watch more helplessly while my sister got sicker. I did a lot of crying too. (both gigs--mine and hers!)
One of the things that empowered me, and you can do for your hubby, was to educate myself as much as possible about cancer and how to heal it.
I was Stage 3 sigmoid colon lymph positive zero mets....meaning it had spread to my lymph outside the colon but had not gone into any organs (usually the lungs and/or liver are common colon mets).
I opted to NOT do any chemo (had watched my sister--no thank you!) and instead researched my options for alternative treatments. This is the readers digest version of what I learned:
1) cancer cannot live in an alkaline environment therefore alkalize my system (cut out ALL sugars, whites, alcohol, dairy, meat--they are acidic)
2) enzymes are imperative for ALL life therefore increase my ingestion of enzymes from raw foods (mostly JUICING organic veggies)
3) DETOXING is a must-- be it from environmental toxins, emotional toxins, and relationship toxins (toxic people)
So i am here to give you hope that 7 years later I am still alive and kickin' and better than ever! You can take action and clear out toxic food, energy, people, and create a wonderfully healing environment for your hubby. As for the teenagers, I understand--I have 5 kids-- they didn't really "get it" that I was sick and needed their understanding and help. Good luck.
You just shed your tears as you need to and come on here for a shoulder to cry on any time too. We have been there. :-)
peace, emily
I read your page you sent to sandi, August 23, I appreciate your sincerity and love put into your response. I have been diagnosised with stage 3, colon cancer April 2008, then was told they found a spot on my liver, which later was determined it was not cancerous. My husband and I had just reunited after ten years of being divorced, so shocked, shocked, shocked. My family could not believe it after all this time our waiting to get things right now this. Anyway, I am dealing with the diagnosis, emotions, not working, family, kids, grand-kids, etc. I am 47 years old. I am going through chemo therapy on treatment no 4 after being told I would need 12 total, started chemo in June, could not take some treatments due to low counts,it has been so frustrating. I am weak from chemo, I can not stand the taste of the chemo medication and the sense of smell for me has intensified, it makes me sick on my stomach. I for the most part am doing good I think but it's hard sometimes to gage since it seems like I am all alone sometimes. I was searching for a site, needing to find someone who feels what I feel, going through what I am going through. Someone who can relate. I must admit I feel better now that I have found this site. Lord, knows I needed it. I've had dreams of my death, but I keep fighting the idea, I have too much to live for. I just need to know how to deal one moment at a time, how do I deal with the metallic taste from the chemo and the smell, the lack of energy, I guess I can start there, there is so much I want to say, just glad to find you guys.0
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