fear of the unknown .....

Marykatherine
Marykatherine Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I joined CSN back in January '06 as a caregiver to my husband who was just diagnosed with tongue cancer. I met so many great people who helped me through some trying times and I like to think that I was able to be there for some of you who needed an ear to just listen, words of encouragement to hang in there, a prayer during difficult times, a joke to make you laugh, or an email to let you know that I'm thinking about you.
I haven't been in the chat rooms on a regular basis in quite awhile - and now that I'm trying to .... they are "unavailable". I wanted (NEEDED) to chat with some of you because I am in the process of playing the "waiting game". I discovered a lump in my left breast on March 18th - made appointment with my doctor for the 20th. She examined me and confirmed that there was a lump and wrote a script for me to have a mammogram and ultrasound done. Made the appointment for the 26th and all was well until the radiology department called me the night before and told me that if I didn't have my prior mammogram films to bring along with me - I would have to reschedule my appointment. To make a long story short .... my films were "misplaced" when I moved from NJ to FL. My son works for a neuro-surgical imaging company but they only do MRIs and PET Scans - but he contacted another radiology center that scheduled an appointment on April 1st. Well, that was Tuesday morning and today is late Saturday evening. The doctor was suppose to call me yesterday - I didn't hear from him so I made a call in the afternoon only to find out that the office closed at 12:00 noon. So, here I sit, waiting patiently for some word about the results of my test. People have told me "no news is good news" - but to be honest, fear of the unknown is getting the best of me.
Thanks for listening. Looking forward to chatting with everyone again once the chat rooms are up and running again. Take care and God Bless! ~~Marykay~~

Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #2
    Oh Marykatherine...I send you the BIGGEST most loving Cyber-Hug. My heart is so with you~ as are all of the hearts of the Sisterhood here on the breast cancer boards. As you know from being a caregiver, ( and for that I bless you), this is a journey none of us wants to travel, yet at the same time, we are not alone on the road.

    Our fears and "what-if's" seem so singluar when they are happening to US~ but MK...they are not.

    Last Saturday I celebrated my 5 year surgery anniversary~ with stage 2B and lymphnode involvement, and being over 50 at the time of diagnosis, I never thought I would live to see this day. And yet, I did!

    I am sorry that you are even having to consider joining this group ~ as awesome, inspiring and vibrant as you will come to know that we are! But we welcome you, and actually hope we can soon hear that you are on our periphery~ just a scare, and not the real thing at all!!!


    There IS an interim chatsite while we are awaiting csn to be up and running again! email me here at csn, and I will forward the link to you! It was set up by one of our csn breast Ca survivors and her husband~ and is filled with those of us from chat! You are most welcome there, as is any one else who emails me to get the link!

    Hugs, and all good things,!
    Claudia
  • CindyPR
    CindyPR Member Posts: 36
    #3
    MK, Lost you as it is Cindy, as am here for you as you do not need to go through this alone. Am here friend, as have lost touch, Hey it is hard, as trying for the results, as keep beeing proactive on it. as do not wait, as with the breasts it is scary. Am here good friend, any help you need.
    Love Cindy
  • CindyPR
    CindyPR Member Posts: 36
    #4
    chenheart said:

    Oh Marykatherine...I send you the BIGGEST most loving Cyber-Hug. My heart is so with you~ as are all of the hearts of the Sisterhood here on the breast cancer boards. As you know from being a caregiver, ( and for that I bless you), this is a journey none of us wants to travel, yet at the same time, we are not alone on the road.

    Our fears and "what-if's" seem so singluar when they are happening to US~ but MK...they are not.

    Last Saturday I celebrated my 5 year surgery anniversary~ with stage 2B and lymphnode involvement, and being over 50 at the time of diagnosis, I never thought I would live to see this day. And yet, I did!

    I am sorry that you are even having to consider joining this group ~ as awesome, inspiring and vibrant as you will come to know that we are! But we welcome you, and actually hope we can soon hear that you are on our periphery~ just a scare, and not the real thing at all!!!


    There IS an interim chatsite while we are awaiting csn to be up and running again! email me here at csn, and I will forward the link to you! It was set up by one of our csn breast Ca survivors and her husband~ and is filled with those of us from chat! You are most welcome there, as is any one else who emails me to get the link!

    Hugs, and all good things,!
    Claudia

    Chen,
    Thanks for the info, and help for MK. Miss you on the chat.
    Cindy
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #5
    As a caregiver you know as much as anyone and I can't offer you any advice. But please accept any support I can offer through this board. It is a shame that C can't be cured by love and understanding... we all could have reduced it to nothing long ago! I hope this time, it is indeed nothing. My thoughts are with you - love, Joyce
  • Irish_Girl
    Irish_Girl Member Posts: 9
    #6
    MK
    Bless your heart:)
    The waiting process stinks! My wait was from a Thursday to a Tuesday & it felt like foooooeeevvver I was told that Thursday that they would have the results & call me Monday, well Monday came & went nothing. I called them Tuesday Morning, they paged my Surgeon & he called me back about 10 min later & the news was not good.

    I think that what Doctors do on a daily basis is to many of them a routine, they get up, go to work, read x-rays, see patients, give shots, go home & get up the next day & do it all over again, just like we perform our jobs everyday, so do they. I'm going to be very honest, I have had the BEST team of Doctors, I would not be here today with out the knowledge, & superior care I received, but like allot of people in there work, they forget from day to day that what they say & do for a living is effecting others differently instead of waiting and being on the receiving end of a diagnoses, they are the ones that give it & don't realize what it feels like to wait & experience the fear of the unknown. I was going stir crazy also & this is what I chalked it up to. I don't know if it helps but I know it helps to talk about it. I will pray for you, I pray that everything comes back negative, with no worries. Please keep us posted.

    Be blessed
    Patti
  • beadmom
    beadmom Member Posts: 17
    #7
    Hoping your news is GOOD! What ever the outcome, we are here for you, just let us know what you find out! There is power in numbers and you only have to let people know you need them for the love to bless you. I am waiting for you news!
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #8
    beadmom said:

    Hoping your news is GOOD! What ever the outcome, we are here for you, just let us know what you find out! There is power in numbers and you only have to let people know you need them for the love to bless you. I am waiting for you news!

    I too am very sorry since I know what that means to wait and the results were to be there for me as well. Waiting is the hardest part of the journey because of the unknown but soon you too will be using some of the coping skills we seem to learn along the way. I am sorry you too have to face this after all you have already been through.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and I too hope it WILL BE good news. I am 11 year survivor now of Stage 3 breast cancer with 11 out of 21 positive nodes and I have learned more about living in the present moment than all the years of my reading and trying to get thy self in order. I know that knowledge and being open to many things has helped me to healthier days once again and realizing how hard living is and the work we must do to be able to accept things as they are and know deeply what we have control over and what we do not.
    Love to you and all
    Tara

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