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Scared of the Unknown

ladyjogger31's picture
ladyjogger31
Posts: 291
Joined: Mar 2008

Hi, I'm new to the board. I want to say God Bless to all of you. I'm 56 and had a hysterectomy in 1990. My ovaries were not removed. I was dx with stage 3 oc in Feb.2008 and had major surgery Feb.29th.My doctor said he had got almost all of it out except for the cancer that had spread and crusted over on the outside of my small bowel. He said that the chemo I will start next month should take care of that. I will have 6-8 months of chemo. I am so scared. I do not know what to expect. I am having a hard time dealing with this and am going to attend a support meeting in April. I having a difficult time staying positive and upbeat. I have read such amazing stories on here I hoping that this board will help me as well.
((((HUGS TO ALL)))) Terry

dorion's picture
dorion
Posts: 187
Joined: Dec 2007

Hello Terry, God love you!! Let me be the first to welcome you here and to let you know that there are a lot of wonderful ladies here that will help you through this. Trust me I know, I"m crying now because I know exactly what you are going through, it is aweful and it's damn scarey. I was diagnosed on December 4, 2007 and I have a 10 year old, when that doctor told me I was in shock, it didn't register the seriosness of what he was telling me til like an hour later, then I balled my eyes out, all I could think of was my daughter, what is she going to do, and how I can't leave her, she would be devestated. By some miracle I found this room and it's been my survival website. I've never talked to God so much in my entire 49 years as much as I did when I was first diagnosed and before surgery, that was the scariest, so I thought, then waiting around to have chemo for the first time and when I appoached that bed oh boy did I cry, I felt like I was being sent to the electric chair. But once it was done I knew that it was a fate of completion there was no turning back. Now my hair is starting to fall out and that's another traumatic thing to deal with even though you know it's going to happen and you prepare yourself for it, it doesn't make it better. But agian, I turned to this room for comfort and support and I got it. But your faith in God Terry and your Doctor, they are the two that will get you through this. We are all here for you too, so you come on in anytime. There is a chat room too but for some reason the past few days it's not available, don't know why. You can also message me directly or any of the ladies that will surely reply to your posting, you wait and see all the support you will get. We love you Terry and our arms are around you and we are always here for you. God Bless you!!
Linda

saundra's picture
saundra
Posts: 1390
Joined: Mar 2007

I am 69 and was diagnosed 3/2/2007 with Stage IV. You will probably have a combination of chemical (Taxol plus Carboplatin) every 3 weeks. That is what most of us get at first. I was given IV doses of antinausea, steriods, and benedryl before the chemicals and the whole thing takes about five hours. My cancer clinic has comfortable recliners and blankets. You will want to take something to read, or listen to and a throw for cover (you will get cold maybe and want a cuddly cover. I take a bottle of water and snack food (fruit and peanut butter crackers). Hard candy to suck on is good too. Wear comfortable knit clothing. You will be given hand outs as to the side effects and prescriptions for nausea medications to start as soon as you get home. Start a journal, do a meditation of your choice each day, get out as much as you can. This is a journey and it overwhelms us all at first, but "He strengthens those who are weak and tired" Isaiah 40:29 and He is there when you call out for help. Take this one day at a time and don't worry about tomorrow. Little pieces are easier to get down. We are here for you, Terry. You can post as many questions as you like and if we have an answer we'll get back to you. Or you can click on the envelope for a personal e-mail to one you want to reach one on one. ((HUGS)) Saundra

lindachris's picture
lindachris
Posts: 175
Joined: Aug 2007

I think it's significant that those who join the board new bring back such potent memories in all those who've been through treatment, and those who cared for them. No one stays positive and upbeat all the time, but we learned to turn certain KINDS of fears over to God, and work on the things we could manage and change. Then, as the ladies here say, you listen close to what the doctors say and when you get home after each treatment you just take care of yourself. It helps if there's someone there for a 2nd opinion. That was my role for my wife: What do we do to work through challenges. How can we make this better? Who do we call? Do we need to call? Isn't it time for bed? Can I have a hug? Or...can you just tuck me in and leave me alone for a bit? It runs the gamut. For some of the medical stuff, the gals here have great advice. But we're all here to support you.

Chris

floridajo
Posts: 485
Joined: Sep 2006

ladyjogger,
Welcome to the site,I wish I didn't have to welcome you to this site,but it's really good to talk to people who have been there. I can remember being diagosed,it was like a surreal time,like it was happenning to someone else and I was just there watching.As the other ladies have told you,your Dr. will give you RX's for steriods and nausea..they are a godsend. We all respond differently to chemo,but you will lose your hair,another emotional day...for me that was the day it all became real to me,and I realized just how sick I was. I was dx. 11/04 age 46 stage 3c. I'm currently on Topotecan for my 2nd recurrence. I'm here to tell you,that you can live a good life even with ovca. I treat it like a chronic disease. That meaning I will have to fight it for the rest of my life,like you would diabetes. Also the second line chemos have been really easy for me to tolerate. Good luck,I'll keep you in prayer. Please come and ask as many questions as you want. it is also good to bring someone with you to the Onc visits,sometimes they hear more than us. (((hugz)))~~~Joanne

mopar
Posts: 1995
Joined: May 2003

Hi Terry:
I hope after reading all of these wonderful posts that you are feeling a little better and more at ease. But, as a two-time survivor I know that sometimes that's easier said than done. Everyone seems to have covered some very basic and important areas, so I won't repeat. But when you have specific questions we're here for you. Everyone's advice is right on. You must know where your strength will come from and go there to get it - ALWAYS. My faith was first and foremost, then my family's support and love. Even though they did all they could, I didn't always want to 'vent' to them. Ultimately, prayer, tears, and conversations with God and being grounded in His Word is what gets me through. As for the physical experiences that we unfortunately must endure, again my family, lots of support here, and just trial and error for finding what worked for me (definitely keep a journal). We'll be with you every step of the way.

I hope that you can find some peace and comfort as we celebrate the Easter Season. This is a perfect of example of why He died for us - to conquer much, including illness. Our physical bodies may have to endure these things, but no one, nothing can touch the spirit.

Luv and Hugs. I'll be waiting to hear from you again!

Monika

lady342008
Posts: 84
Joined: Mar 2008

Hey Terry, your post looked and sounded just like mine when I started on here recently. I've had issue's since 2006 which I've been monitored for. Now all my female parts are involved as well as the existing issue's getting worse. I now have a solid mass the size of a tangerine on my right ovary. I too became scared of the unknown. I think we all do really whether or not we admit it. I was sent to a Gyn Oncologist on March 13 2008. I am now scheduled for a Full Hysterectomy on April 18th at 8:00am. I feel just as you do with your facing the treatments. I am TOTALLY FREAKED AND SCARED of the Unknown of just the surgery alone right now. NEVER MIND if it's cancer I can't even handle having surgery as I've NEVER had surgery before and I'm 45 yrs old. I came across a site that totally freaked me out about having the surgery. Reason being is it was all negative about hysterectomies. It said that all the empty space from your female parts that once were supporing your other organs will shift to fill that space. This in turn causes many other problems. It just all freaked me out.

I'm just here to say to you that you have a great support system here and many can and will write to you to walk you through. We have ALL been scared of the unknown. It's normal and it's OKAY....... :-)

My thoughts and prayers are with you as I KNOW it's got to be a super tough thing having treatments in front of you. I soon could be in the very same place you are now. Stay in this forum and write all you have to say, because there are a great group of people on here that TRULY CARE and will be here for you.

Wishing you the very best on the new road you'll be traveling. Take Care and take a lot of deep breaths. :-)

curlyq1971's picture
curlyq1971
Posts: 57
Joined: Jan 2008

Terry,
I just wanted to say Hi and to say Welcome to the board. I was dx with ovaca stage 2 in August of 2005 at the tender age of 34,and underwent a complete hysterectomy as well as the omentum, and 9 lymph nodes removed (which thankfully tested negative for cancer), I had two masses one on each ovary one was the size of a soccer ball, and the other was the size of a basketball. My gyn/onc was able to remove all of the cancer, but I still underwent 6 rounds of taxol/carbo as a preventative. I have been cancer free for over 2 years now. I was very scared at the thought of having chemo but I gotta tell you it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had a port put in and that was a blessing in itself, I never felt the needle when they accessed it. I was able to have my port removed in April of 2006 just 2 months after my last chemo. I never got sick, they gave me pretty good anti-nausea meds and they worked. I had body aches for the first day after chemo and then I was fine. My white blood cells seemed to suffer the most but I received neulasta shots for that and then they came back up to normal range, and toward the end I had to have procrit shots for the red blood cells, and my platelets did go down low for awhile and I had to postpone one of my treatments but then they came back up as well. All in all I faired pretty well. I was given anti-nausea, benadryl, and lorezapam by IV for the pre-meds before chemo, then about a half hour later they would administer the taxol which takes the longest about 4 hours or so, and then the carboplatin which took about a half hour. They have really comfortable chairs and I slept alot of the time, or I would watch TV or play cards with my husband. I know that it is alot to deal with and very overwhelming but that is what we are here for, to help you and to support you. Take good care of yourself, eat well, and rest when you are tired and most importantly stay strong and always think positive. Take one day at a time:) Keep us posted on how things are going, and if you have any questions or concerns we are all here to help.

I am sending a HUGE HUG your way.
Take Care,

Leslie

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