my dad and colon cancer

nereidsbeware
nereidsbeware Member Posts: 7
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
hi guys,

i'm new here and i have so many questions and frustrations, especially since my dad's CT scan results that he received yesterday. i don't know a lot of the details as he is living in Hong Kong with my mom, and all of us kids are in North America in university.

i know very little, but from what i've been told, he has stave IV cc, and has completed 12 sessions of chemo meds: folinic acid, oxaliplatin, and 5 FU.

i have a feeling because we are so far away, not everything is disclosed, and we're left in the dark a little (so we won't stress so much, especially as school is ending soon).

i know there are so many stage IV survivor stories out there, but naturally, i'm a pessimist. i try not to be, especially in situations like this, but sometimes it isn't easy (as i'm sure all of you know).

so yesterday he found out that since he finished chemo (around mid-feb, i think), his cancer markers have gone up to the mid-20s, and the oncologist has recommended that he try any mix of chemo meds. because my parent's have been planning on coming here to visit us (and his parent's) over the summer holidays, my dad is, from what my mom has told me, refusing treatment for the time being.

i don't know what to make of this. i know he wants to have a break from chemo and to see us, but i can't help but worry that if he takes too much time off from the chemo treatments, the cancer markers will just keep increasing, and nothing good will come of it.

any thoughts? comments? i'm just really worried right now, especially since i see him once a year, if i'm lucky.

Comments

  • rmap59
    rmap59 Member Posts: 266
    Hi There,
    When I start stressing about stuff seems this helps me, the serenity prayer says God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. There are a lot of stage IV survivors so do work on being optimistic and stand by your Father's decisions since it does sound like this is out of your control. I hope the best for you and your family.
    Prayers to you, Robin
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    Welcome to this board! Sorry for your reason to be here.

    Stage IV is always a tricky situation. Especially at the beginning, when the treatment is so intense that it all but stopped your daily life. I have had a few stage IV's as patient partners, but am only a stage III. I DO know that they all experienced a 'Give me a break' phase...to regroup, so to speak.

    How long is the visit? Can you contact a local oncologist and talk over your concerns about your dad...you may need to pay for the visit...sadly, the number of oncologists is growing smaller...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Otis50
    Otis50 Member Posts: 2
    KathiM said:

    Welcome to this board! Sorry for your reason to be here.

    Stage IV is always a tricky situation. Especially at the beginning, when the treatment is so intense that it all but stopped your daily life. I have had a few stage IV's as patient partners, but am only a stage III. I DO know that they all experienced a 'Give me a break' phase...to regroup, so to speak.

    How long is the visit? Can you contact a local oncologist and talk over your concerns about your dad...you may need to pay for the visit...sadly, the number of oncologists is growing smaller...

    Hugs, Kathi

    i was diagnosed in 1986 with incurable CC given 6 months to live.... the mayo clinic didnt tell me i only had 6 mo to live and today i am 50 yrs old!!! its never over my prayers
  • billsdaughter
    billsdaughter Member Posts: 1
    Hi,

    I'm new here too and this is my first post. My dad also has Stage IV cc that has spread to his liver. About 2 1/2 years ago my dad had surgery to remove cancer from his colon. A year later we found out about the metastasis to his liver and he has been on chemo ever since with no breaks in treatment. He tolerates it well.
    He knew from the start that stage IV means incurable. I have heard of people completing "rounds of chemo" but, I think, before he even has a chance to finish one drug his numbers start to rise and the doctor starts him on a new drug. His numbers are on the rise again so he had a scan on Thursday (3/13) and we are waiting to hear back on Monday (tomorrow). I'm really worried right now too. We're running out of different drugs to try.

    I feel helpless. I'm all over the web looking for answers but in the end, my dad and his doctor are doing all they can. All I can really do is spend time with him. I'm glad to share any information I have with you in the future.
    Cherishing life is the only thing that is really important right now and it sounds like that is what your dad is doing by coming to see you. Don't let negative thoughts creep in on your time together.

    take care
  • Monicaemilia
    Monicaemilia Member Posts: 455 Member
    I also have Stage IV and am on my 3rd line of chemo. I would think that waiting till after the summer for new treatment may be risky. I definitely agree that a break from chemo and a visit will do your dad good in the summer, but there are a few months to go yet and he may want to rethink waiting that long. I agree with Kathi that perhaps there is an oncologist you can speak to close to your home. Monica
  • nereidsbeware
    nereidsbeware Member Posts: 7
    hey everyone!

    thank you so much for your support and suggestions! it definitely feels a lot better to be able to let all this out to people that understand these type of situations. don't get me wrong, i'll take all the support i can get, but this is so much more comforting and uplifting to hear such success stories of overcoming and being positive about all of this.

    thanks for the suggestions about seeing a oncologist here. i'll mention it to my dad. he did say that he has another test coming up in may, i think it was. because in late '07 we found out that the cancer had spread to his hip bone, he is having a bone scan to see what is happening there. i think that will help determine whether or not he will return to visit us for the summer.

    if he does visit, it will be for two months. it seems like a long time to go without chemo treatments, but we'll have to wait and see what comes of all the tests.

    otis50: that is truly a miracle! i am so glad to hear that you are doing well! keep on going strong!

    billsdaughter: yes, i feel like my dad really wants to cherish what he has--not taking anything for granted. he wants to visit his parents here, as they are getting old, and at the same time, spend time with us so we can be together as a family. it definitely isn't too much to ask, but at the same time, there are risks involved. i think he just needs to really weigh his options. i can't imagine it, but it must be REAL nice to be taking a break from chemo.

    over the holidays, we were blessed enough to have been given the gift of free plane tickets back home to visit my parent's. my dad insisted on us going with him to the hospital and really going through the process of chemo with him (blood tests, getting the meds, etc...). it really hits home. and although i know this isn't happening TO me, it's never easy. i guess you hear about cancer ALL the time, and it's really ignorant to think that it could never happen to you, or someone close to you. but my dad is a strong man and a strong believer. i know he can do this!