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I finished chemo 1 year ago tomorrow....

LynnN
Posts: 14
Joined: Dec 2006

And am feeling quite nostalgic about it!!! I was diagnosed with Stage 4, mets to liver in Dec.05....surgery and then 6 months of Folfox.... i think only the people on this board truly understand this bizarre feeling....Perhaps someone can explain it to me!

shmurciakova's picture
shmurciakova
Posts: 910
Joined: Dec 2002

That is fantastic! What a milestone. I cannot say I share your nostalgia about chemo though. It got me thinking, at the end of this month it will have been 4 years since I did chemo. I would like to just keep it in the past and forget about it. Unfortunately, it is not the easiest thing to forget....I was diagnosed in April of '02 and then had a liver met and later 2 lung mets. Thankfully all surgically removed.
Maybe your nostalgia has something to do with a time you felt you were actively "fighting" your cancer, or maybe it is because you were being taken care of at that time.
Anyway, try to celebrate! The only thing I can relate your feelings to in my experience is that sometimes after getting good test results I just feel exhausted rather than elated, like I am "supposed to"....
Anyway, take care,
Susan H.

kathleenss's picture
kathleenss
Posts: 49
Joined: Nov 2006

I just finished 3 weeks ago, and it felt strange to go in for a scan and not get to joke with the guys in the lab, and then to go to the doctor and not get to visit with the nurses in the infusion room. There was a feeling of kinship between all of us getting chemo. I do sort of miss them. And I miss the feeling of being on the front lines fighting.

Now the battle is quiet. There's no evidence of actively fighting the beast. I just try to push him down with healthy food, exercise and the sort. Maybe that will appease the need to feel that I'm still fighting.

I understand. It's wonderful that you're a whole year out!

Kathleen

apache4's picture
apache4
Posts: 272
Joined: Jul 2007

Yes, I am feeling bizarre about 8 weeks from chemo. I don't know what the next step will be for me (Stage IV, liver mets), but I am kind of scared that my onc. will want to take a "wait and see" approach. Meanwhile, I am researching other options, just in case the scan that I will have next week, shows growth of these nasty little beasts. I feel great and sometimes it is hard for me to believe I am really this sick...so, I choose to just enjoy these good days and the heck with it all. I won't even drive past the cancer center!

Betsydoglover's picture
Betsydoglover
Posts: 1256
Joined: Jul 2005

Lynn - what a great milestone.

While I dread the thought of ever returning to chemo, I think I know what you mean about the "nostalgia". However awful it is, chemo is a time when much attention is paid to you. In my experience, too, the nurses in the chemo room were wonderful and I interacted with many of the same patients. The drugs were nasty and the disease scary, but the social aspects of the chemo experience were quite pleasant.

I'm 20 months out from last chemo now and it still feels wierd to go to oncologist appointments and not go back to the chemo room and sit in one of those comfy chairs.

In spite of all these nostalgic feeling, however, I still dread ever HAVING to go back to the chemo room.

I think your feelings are understandable. And I think being Stage IV and one year off chemo is a tremendous milestone - worthy of celebration.

Take care,
Betsy

livefreeordie
Posts: 45
Joined: Jul 2007

Wow!
I hope I get the same results. I have stage IV with liver, lung, lymph mets, on my first round of chemo, will hopefully get surgery if they shrink.
I dont think I will miss the chemo room if I respond to the treaments as well as you did. But I think there will always be a giant anvil hanging over my head, wondering if it will ever return. But I'd rather deal with the anvil then being on chemo forever..

Kanort's picture
Kanort
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Congratulations on your milestone. Celebrate your wellness and believe that this is the first of many more anniversaries to come!

Hugs,

Kay

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