To Emily-end of life

nanuk
nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
this is the only way I can reply-I'm having all kinds of problems with this site..
I refuse to believe that we are "gone" when we die; somehow she is still with you, watching over you, giving you direction, protecting you..
thank you for talking about her death up front and real. It needs to be said.
I just wish she had hospice; they make the end much more tolerable for both patient and caretaker.
Bud

Comments

  • debralla
    debralla Member Posts: 203 Member
    Bud
    You are so right . I am a firm believer that they are with us in spirt .
    I have written this before in a previous post about my Stepfather and what kind of man he was , But I will write it again just so you know why I believe..My Mom married him when I was seven and he was the meanest roughest man . I was terrified of him . He had a tough life and spent most of that fighting in two war's in which he lost many of his friends.He never went to church nor did he ever talk about religion So I often thought he didn't believe . But I will always remember his most famous words when we did something wrong and that was "There are two things I hate and that is a liar and a theif "and he lived by those words!!As he got older he started having a lot of medical problems and came close to dying a few times in fact one time they lost him on the OR table .One day I was talking to him on the phone which was usually a how's the weather , is Mom there conversation . But for some reason we started talking about his recent hospital experence I asked him when he was on the OR table the Dr's said that they lost you for a little while . He told me yes . I said did you have an after life experence ?.He told me yes. He was quite the yes no conversation man . But I continued and asked him what did he see . He told me Well I seen My MaMa and My Pappy . and my Brother . I asked him well did they say anything ? and in his kind of I don't feel like talking about it voice . He said Yes . Well what did they say ? He told me that they told him Bobby go back its not your time .His name was Bob But growing up they called him Bobby . He became more relaxed in our conversation So I asked him did they look like themselves . He told me no they looked like bright beautiful silhouetts of themselves .He said that although you could not see them clearly that you just knew it was them. He said he was in the most beautiful most peaceful place he had ever been and he didn't want to leave . But that they told him that he had to it wasn't his time .Well after that he had many more close calls but he refused to go to the Dr. He passed away two years later They found him out in his truck with his cowboy hat on and of course his boots . With the most peaceful look on his face .He had a heart attack.
    So I try to keep his story in my heart when I am having a whatif moment .
    anyone else have a afterlife story ???
    Take Care and God Bless
    Debra
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    debralla said:

    Bud
    You are so right . I am a firm believer that they are with us in spirt .
    I have written this before in a previous post about my Stepfather and what kind of man he was , But I will write it again just so you know why I believe..My Mom married him when I was seven and he was the meanest roughest man . I was terrified of him . He had a tough life and spent most of that fighting in two war's in which he lost many of his friends.He never went to church nor did he ever talk about religion So I often thought he didn't believe . But I will always remember his most famous words when we did something wrong and that was "There are two things I hate and that is a liar and a theif "and he lived by those words!!As he got older he started having a lot of medical problems and came close to dying a few times in fact one time they lost him on the OR table .One day I was talking to him on the phone which was usually a how's the weather , is Mom there conversation . But for some reason we started talking about his recent hospital experence I asked him when he was on the OR table the Dr's said that they lost you for a little while . He told me yes . I said did you have an after life experence ?.He told me yes. He was quite the yes no conversation man . But I continued and asked him what did he see . He told me Well I seen My MaMa and My Pappy . and my Brother . I asked him well did they say anything ? and in his kind of I don't feel like talking about it voice . He said Yes . Well what did they say ? He told me that they told him Bobby go back its not your time .His name was Bob But growing up they called him Bobby . He became more relaxed in our conversation So I asked him did they look like themselves . He told me no they looked like bright beautiful silhouetts of themselves .He said that although you could not see them clearly that you just knew it was them. He said he was in the most beautiful most peaceful place he had ever been and he didn't want to leave . But that they told him that he had to it wasn't his time .Well after that he had many more close calls but he refused to go to the Dr. He passed away two years later They found him out in his truck with his cowboy hat on and of course his boots . With the most peaceful look on his face .He had a heart attack.
    So I try to keep his story in my heart when I am having a whatif moment .
    anyone else have a afterlife story ???
    Take Care and God Bless
    Debra

    I don't know if this qualifies, cause I FELT like I was passing, I WANTED to pass (that's the truth) but here goes:
    I was sooo sick from the chemo, all I could do was lie in bed, drooling. No sleep for 2 days. I have my own personal form of religion...don't go to formal church but on Easter and Christmas...but do pray my prayers I learned as a child every night. NEVER did I really ask for anything for me...thought that was somehow 'against the rules'.
    So, I was lying there drooling...and I finally said "OK, this is IT, I can't go on...I need help." I felt someone in my room, who came over as a bright shadow, and kissed my forehead. I felt a warmth come over, I was 'smiled at' (sorry, just my impression), and told to sleep. I slept for 5 hours straight, and woke up better.
    Me, Ms-everything-has-an-explanation, ask all of my family if they had come in...none had.
    I kinda like to think it was my dad, who passed 15 years ago, telling me it was going to be ok.
    So, that's it....
    Hugs, Kathi
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    well as a self-professed Jesus believing freak, I absolutely believe in an afterlife where our souls return from whence they came--into God's presence. what better place could there be? I don't know of any.

    I have no doubt her soul found its peace, it was her body that was having a rough go.

    She wouldn't go until my father came to terms with her death. It was an uncanny thing but a whole 'nother story.

    She didn't want hospice at all. We knew someone personally who did hospice but Shannon wouldn't do it. I honestly think she was in some sort of denial about her death to some degree. And maybe hospice would mean she was giving up the ghost. She was a fighter extraordinaire.

    I approach cancer in a more Zen attitude. What can it teach me and how can I grow from this.

    I definitely felt her presence around me especially the day she died when I went home to my kids and told them their auntie had died. I kept turning around cuz I felt someone approaching from behind.....a "presence" if you will. You know that feeling when you feel someone enter the room. So I kept turning around but no one was there and then it dawned on me.....it was Shannon standing beside me as I told my children.

    And then many months she visited my dreams and gave me messages. I have one story that will make the hair on your arms raise up!

    Anyway, I firmly believe she is happier and freer than we are on earth, but I am not in any hurry to get there.

    peace, emily who would prefer to become a little old lady
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    2bhealed said:

    well as a self-professed Jesus believing freak, I absolutely believe in an afterlife where our souls return from whence they came--into God's presence. what better place could there be? I don't know of any.

    I have no doubt her soul found its peace, it was her body that was having a rough go.

    She wouldn't go until my father came to terms with her death. It was an uncanny thing but a whole 'nother story.

    She didn't want hospice at all. We knew someone personally who did hospice but Shannon wouldn't do it. I honestly think she was in some sort of denial about her death to some degree. And maybe hospice would mean she was giving up the ghost. She was a fighter extraordinaire.

    I approach cancer in a more Zen attitude. What can it teach me and how can I grow from this.

    I definitely felt her presence around me especially the day she died when I went home to my kids and told them their auntie had died. I kept turning around cuz I felt someone approaching from behind.....a "presence" if you will. You know that feeling when you feel someone enter the room. So I kept turning around but no one was there and then it dawned on me.....it was Shannon standing beside me as I told my children.

    And then many months she visited my dreams and gave me messages. I have one story that will make the hair on your arms raise up!

    Anyway, I firmly believe she is happier and freer than we are on earth, but I am not in any hurry to get there.

    peace, emily who would prefer to become a little old lady

    You are gonna make one helluva old lady... Bud
  • Betsydoglover
    Betsydoglover Member Posts: 1,248 Member
    2bhealed said:

    well as a self-professed Jesus believing freak, I absolutely believe in an afterlife where our souls return from whence they came--into God's presence. what better place could there be? I don't know of any.

    I have no doubt her soul found its peace, it was her body that was having a rough go.

    She wouldn't go until my father came to terms with her death. It was an uncanny thing but a whole 'nother story.

    She didn't want hospice at all. We knew someone personally who did hospice but Shannon wouldn't do it. I honestly think she was in some sort of denial about her death to some degree. And maybe hospice would mean she was giving up the ghost. She was a fighter extraordinaire.

    I approach cancer in a more Zen attitude. What can it teach me and how can I grow from this.

    I definitely felt her presence around me especially the day she died when I went home to my kids and told them their auntie had died. I kept turning around cuz I felt someone approaching from behind.....a "presence" if you will. You know that feeling when you feel someone enter the room. So I kept turning around but no one was there and then it dawned on me.....it was Shannon standing beside me as I told my children.

    And then many months she visited my dreams and gave me messages. I have one story that will make the hair on your arms raise up!

    Anyway, I firmly believe she is happier and freer than we are on earth, but I am not in any hurry to get there.

    peace, emily who would prefer to become a little old lady

    Emily -

    Stories like this are amazing.

    My best friend's mother died of breast cancer when Susan was just 16 (she is 44 now). A couple of months ago, Susan was sorting through a few boxes of old family stuff and came across a few pictures of her mother as a very young woman - from before Susan was born. Her 6 year old son was with her and as she uncovered those pictures, her son said something like "That's the lady who visits me". Susan asked what he was talking about and he said "the other Mommy, the one in the white dress, the one who loves me just as much as you do". Susan of course was stunned and gently questioned her son and he insisted that the old pics of Susan's Mom were the same lady who visited him at night and said she loved him - and indeed, her mother was wearing a white dress in the pic. Gives you the shivers - in a nice way. Susan says she only has one small pic of her mother displayed in her house and in that pic her mom is 20+ years older than in the old picture.

    You really have to wonder - there are things out there that are beyond our understanding.

    In awe,
    Betsy
  • scouty
    scouty Member Posts: 1,965 Member
    I sure hope and pray there is "something and someplace" else out there. This man made destruction, brutality, abuse, ignorance, etc. etc. etc. sure gets old sometimes.

    When I was 17, my best friend and I were visiting her older newly married sister. Their father had died 2 years earlier. At 3AM, there phone rang and it was their mother wanting to know if everything was okay. Janice, (my best friend) was already awake knocking on the door to her sister's bedroom. The husband answered and at first thought Brenda was alseep until he realized she was unconscious. An ambulance was called and it turns out she is one of those that can not take birth control pills. The docs said, she would have been dead in 30 more minutes. Why did the Mom call and why was Janice already awake, both saw Mr. Ballard and their descriptions of him and what he did were almost identical. It still makes the hairs on my arms stand up. We all know he was telling us something wasn't right.

    Lisa P.
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member

    Emily -

    Stories like this are amazing.

    My best friend's mother died of breast cancer when Susan was just 16 (she is 44 now). A couple of months ago, Susan was sorting through a few boxes of old family stuff and came across a few pictures of her mother as a very young woman - from before Susan was born. Her 6 year old son was with her and as she uncovered those pictures, her son said something like "That's the lady who visits me". Susan asked what he was talking about and he said "the other Mommy, the one in the white dress, the one who loves me just as much as you do". Susan of course was stunned and gently questioned her son and he insisted that the old pics of Susan's Mom were the same lady who visited him at night and said she loved him - and indeed, her mother was wearing a white dress in the pic. Gives you the shivers - in a nice way. Susan says she only has one small pic of her mother displayed in her house and in that pic her mom is 20+ years older than in the old picture.

    You really have to wonder - there are things out there that are beyond our understanding.

    In awe,
    Betsy

    now it's my turn for those goosebumps!! That is awesome!

    there is a beautiful story in Guide Posts about a little girl who was born a preemie and was touch and go for awhile. She lived and may years later during a rain storm the little girl asked her mother if she smelled that. And the mother was confused asking what she smelled. The little girl replied God. that's how God smelled when he held me. I'm not doing the story justice but it's something like that.

    so very cool.

    peace, emily
  • JKendall
    JKendall Member Posts: 186
    scouty said:

    I sure hope and pray there is "something and someplace" else out there. This man made destruction, brutality, abuse, ignorance, etc. etc. etc. sure gets old sometimes.

    When I was 17, my best friend and I were visiting her older newly married sister. Their father had died 2 years earlier. At 3AM, there phone rang and it was their mother wanting to know if everything was okay. Janice, (my best friend) was already awake knocking on the door to her sister's bedroom. The husband answered and at first thought Brenda was alseep until he realized she was unconscious. An ambulance was called and it turns out she is one of those that can not take birth control pills. The docs said, she would have been dead in 30 more minutes. Why did the Mom call and why was Janice already awake, both saw Mr. Ballard and their descriptions of him and what he did were almost identical. It still makes the hairs on my arms stand up. We all know he was telling us something wasn't right.

    Lisa P.

    Bottom line...God is with us everyday everywhere. And He sends us angels to help us. (Some come to us in the form of a gentle, loving, understanding dog named Ginger.) Ya'll take care. Jimmy
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    JKendall said:

    Bottom line...God is with us everyday everywhere. And He sends us angels to help us. (Some come to us in the form of a gentle, loving, understanding dog named Ginger.) Ya'll take care. Jimmy

    ours was in the form of Chelsea, our beloved collie who was hit by a car 1 1/2 years ago--we still grieve her.

    Scouty--that story is so cool. I want to know what Mr. Ballard said that got everyone moving. And the cool thing is that they both listened and took it seriously and didn't just brush it off or worse, not do anything for fear of looking foolish if she had been ok.

    On the aside, what is it about BCPills that she reacted to?? Just curious.

    We should start a new thread just on everyone's supernatural experiences.

    Jimmy--how is jerry doing? We haven't heard from y'all in awhile.

    peace, emily who swears Chelsea was an angel sent by God to guard my kids
  • Believermjh
    Believermjh Member Posts: 36
    2bhealed said:

    well as a self-professed Jesus believing freak, I absolutely believe in an afterlife where our souls return from whence they came--into God's presence. what better place could there be? I don't know of any.

    I have no doubt her soul found its peace, it was her body that was having a rough go.

    She wouldn't go until my father came to terms with her death. It was an uncanny thing but a whole 'nother story.

    She didn't want hospice at all. We knew someone personally who did hospice but Shannon wouldn't do it. I honestly think she was in some sort of denial about her death to some degree. And maybe hospice would mean she was giving up the ghost. She was a fighter extraordinaire.

    I approach cancer in a more Zen attitude. What can it teach me and how can I grow from this.

    I definitely felt her presence around me especially the day she died when I went home to my kids and told them their auntie had died. I kept turning around cuz I felt someone approaching from behind.....a "presence" if you will. You know that feeling when you feel someone enter the room. So I kept turning around but no one was there and then it dawned on me.....it was Shannon standing beside me as I told my children.

    And then many months she visited my dreams and gave me messages. I have one story that will make the hair on your arms raise up!

    Anyway, I firmly believe she is happier and freer than we are on earth, but I am not in any hurry to get there.

    peace, emily who would prefer to become a little old lady

    I too, believe...my husband is in hospital at this moment, IV stage cc mets to liver, and prostate cancer..blockage in what's left of his colon is causing great pain and vomiting..I've been blessed to know he is saved even though he is not vocal about it...when my mom passed, she remained in my house and she touched those who were non believers or who wouldn't claim it...when we laid her ashes with my dad, 2 crows came out of no where, cawed unbelievingly, and then flew away together..we grew up on a small hill know as "crow hill" for generations...the young ones didn't know the significance, but they knew something was happening!! God Bless, tia
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    What an interesting post......I've never had visions, but I do have dreams. Most recently (1 1/2 yrs ago) I dreamed of my cancer recurrance. Woke up early in the morning and found a lump in my neck. Went to the doctor immediately and he said it was nothing.....that is when I asked for a PET scan (which he pooh-pooh'd) and low and behold my cancer had returned. Had I not had the dream I would not have been so vigilant and caught it early. Yes, we have guardian angels looking out for us. Sometimes they take us home, sometimes we stay here on earth a while longer.

    Kerry
  • goldfinch
    goldfinch Member Posts: 735
    kerry said:

    What an interesting post......I've never had visions, but I do have dreams. Most recently (1 1/2 yrs ago) I dreamed of my cancer recurrance. Woke up early in the morning and found a lump in my neck. Went to the doctor immediately and he said it was nothing.....that is when I asked for a PET scan (which he pooh-pooh'd) and low and behold my cancer had returned. Had I not had the dream I would not have been so vigilant and caught it early. Yes, we have guardian angels looking out for us. Sometimes they take us home, sometimes we stay here on earth a while longer.

    Kerry

    Wow! I don't have visions or remember much about my dreams, but a month before I was diagnosed, my daughter told me about one of her dreams. She had dreamed that I was dying of cancer. I, of course pooh, poohed it and told her I was going to be around for a long time. But a few days later, I decided it was finally time to make an appointment with my doc to check out some persistant rectal pressure I had been having. Mom has colitis. Thought that might be it. Wasn't really expecting cancer as a diagnosis, but figured better to be safe than sorry. A couple of weeks later, bingo...diagnosed with rectal cancer. Scared the !^@%# out of me. I'm kind of afraid to ask Lauren about any dreams she may be having, though that one probably saved my life.
    Mary
  • I believe, believe, believe. What we are goes on, and those that have gone before us, guide out steps and watch over us.

    Just got back from ReLay for Life...what an event. Did the overnight shift of 2:00 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. Found all my luminaries except one...my moms!!!! Last year, I found all of them in my first lap. I went looking and looking and couldn't find it. Now my mom's name is not that common and long at that, so it shouldn't have been a problem, right? Well, it was. So I kept walking, talking to her, and asking her to guide me to her luminary. A short while into my walk, Bert joined me and we proceeded to do several laps together. He had to go but said he would get me a coffee before he left so I wouldn't have to leave the track. I kept going and met up with him and just as he handed me the coffee, there it was, her luminary, glowing brightly in the night for both of us to see and in such an obvious place, I can't figure out for the life of me how I missed it. I choose to believe that mom waited for the two of us to be at the same place and same time to let us know that she is watching over both of us. I love you mom and miss you terribly.

    Monika