How To Stop His Fear

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mindy10
mindy10 Member Posts: 182 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi everyone, hope all is doing well. Went to see my dad this weekend and he is so scared. I feel he says he is in pain when he is not to get attention and to have someone sit with him at all times. He does not sleep at all at night. I was up all night with him and I believe he is afraid to sleep. At least with the pain you can give pills and it takes it away but how do you take away the fear???? I want him to sleep at night so he can feel a little better. I believe lack of sleep is making him weak. I know when I lost the one night of sleep I felt awful the next day. Anyone have suggestions on what to do for the Insomnia?

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  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member
    #2
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    hi mindy,

    I was prescribed by my Naturopathic doctor melatonin. It's a natural substance that we're supposed to make. It's like taking a vitamin and it's a humdinger of an antioxidant so it's a double good whammy. It works on shrinking tumors too if taken at night. I took up to 20 mg and then weaned back to just 3 mg. I worked my way up to the 20 taking a little more each night. It worked great for me and it's not a narcotic which is a good thing cuz when you're doing the cancer thang you often are on a ton of drugs to begin with.

    hope this helps.

    AS for the Fear. Prayer helped. And journaling. And having a prayer partner.

    peace, emily
  • Jen28
    Jen28 Member Posts: 45
    #3
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    Hi Mindy,

    I think Emily's melatonin suggestion is a good one. I've heard that it works well, and I've been thinking about trying it myself. I've had some nasty insomnia since starting chemo, and I've tried lots of things to help with it (journaling, baths before bed, guided imagery before bed, chamomile tea before bed). For now, I'm taking ambien and ativan at night and that usually works. I've found that if I have pain that I don't have under control, it definitely makes my insomnia worse. If your dad is in pain at night, that might contribute. If trying various relaxation techniques and having him only use his bed for sleeping (not for reading, resting during the day, etc.) don't help, you may want to encourage him to ask his doctor about medication. It's not ideal (who wants to take more drugs?), but it's better than not getting enough sleep.

    Also, if he's not already, it might help your dad if he talks about his fear--to you, to a support group, or to a therapist.

    Jen
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
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    Jen28 said:

    Hi Mindy,

    I think Emily's melatonin suggestion is a good one. I've heard that it works well, and I've been thinking about trying it myself. I've had some nasty insomnia since starting chemo, and I've tried lots of things to help with it (journaling, baths before bed, guided imagery before bed, chamomile tea before bed). For now, I'm taking ambien and ativan at night and that usually works. I've found that if I have pain that I don't have under control, it definitely makes my insomnia worse. If your dad is in pain at night, that might contribute. If trying various relaxation techniques and having him only use his bed for sleeping (not for reading, resting during the day, etc.) don't help, you may want to encourage him to ask his doctor about medication. It's not ideal (who wants to take more drugs?), but it's better than not getting enough sleep.

    Also, if he's not already, it might help your dad if he talks about his fear--to you, to a support group, or to a therapist.

    Jen

    Mindy,
    I agree...even tho it is PERFECTLY natural to be afraid...to be able to admit it to someone a little removed from his family...such as a counselor (there are some that specialize in cancer therapy...ask your dad's onc) or a friend that is trusted...
    But this is really scary stuff...I got great relief with my therapist...then I would pick myself up, brush myself off, and fight again.
    Hugs to you and you dad,
    Kathi
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #5
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    ask your doc about ambien; it works well, and you wake up without any after effects. Gradually building up melatonin to a level that puts you to sleep. Em's method.
  • jams67
    jams67 Member Posts: 925 Member
    #6
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    The Ambien works great! I have had lots of trouble sleeping and if I'm able to sleep my whole outlook on life is much better. Also, when you don't feel well the depression can be worse. He probably will not want to burden anyone he knows with his feelings. Find him someone to talk to--minister or psycologist. I didn't have anyone to confide in even though I had a huge support system. I think it would have helped to whine and cry with someone. I'm so glad to find this website.

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