I need some advice for panic

EvaChristine
EvaChristine Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi. I received some unexpected news from my most recent mammogram/ultrasound/stereotactic biopsy that my right breast mass is intraductal carcinoma. I've tried to calm myself down and even saw my surgeon 2 days ago and immediately after that I felt somewhat relieved, even though he explained all the different possible outcomes, but now (11/9) until my surgery (11/21) I don't know how I can focus. I can't sleep at night and I want to cry all the time. I eat healthier now everday and I walk and I even used to work in a Radiation Therapy Department and now that I'm on the same side of the fence as the patients, it's seems so hard to face. Can anyone give me some advice? Thanks so much.

Comments

  • Idalia
    Idalia Member Posts: 76
    #2
    Dear Eva, this may sound crazy but everything you are feeling is normal. Not normal like your pre-cancer life was, but new normal like this life is. You are still in shock and crying jags and mood swings are part of that. It will get better. We all go through it, in some form or another. Let your friends and family know what is going on. Let them comfort you. Cancer is scary, but we go thru it and survive. We survive surgery, we survive radiation and chemo. We survive relapses. Take care of yourself - eat well, rest, exercise, talk, watch your favorite movies, journal, take deep breaths. You are just beginning your journey and you will need all your strength, faith and hope on the trip. Try not to worry. We are all pulling for you.
  • jmears
    jmears Member Posts: 266
    #3
    Hi Eva
    I know what you are going through. I was first diagnosed in 2000. I went through treatment and became extremely depressed. My saving grace was anti depressants. I never took any medication before and was sure it wouldn't help but it was like a miracle. I did go off of the medication for a year or so and unfortunetly I became depressed again. I had just gone back on Zoloft when I found out that the cancer had come back. To my great surprise I was not paniced or overwhelmed ... sure I was angry ...but thank goodness I had the medication. It gave me the control to be able to take care of what I needed to do and stay in the game of life. It is really easy to slip away into the panic or moody poor me I have cancer mode ...and I think it is okay to do that ...but it doesn't feel good or help get you to the point you need to be to recover. So...I'm not trying to push meds ...but there is help and why not use it. I wish you all the best. Jamie
  • EvaChristine
    EvaChristine Member Posts: 3
    #4
    Idalia said:

    Dear Eva, this may sound crazy but everything you are feeling is normal. Not normal like your pre-cancer life was, but new normal like this life is. You are still in shock and crying jags and mood swings are part of that. It will get better. We all go through it, in some form or another. Let your friends and family know what is going on. Let them comfort you. Cancer is scary, but we go thru it and survive. We survive surgery, we survive radiation and chemo. We survive relapses. Take care of yourself - eat well, rest, exercise, talk, watch your favorite movies, journal, take deep breaths. You are just beginning your journey and you will need all your strength, faith and hope on the trip. Try not to worry. We are all pulling for you.

    Dear Idalia,

    Thanks for writing and sharing your advice. I guess because I'm replying @ 2:03 a.m. means I still have a long way to go. :-)
  • EvaChristine
    EvaChristine Member Posts: 3
    #5
    jmears said:

    Hi Eva
    I know what you are going through. I was first diagnosed in 2000. I went through treatment and became extremely depressed. My saving grace was anti depressants. I never took any medication before and was sure it wouldn't help but it was like a miracle. I did go off of the medication for a year or so and unfortunetly I became depressed again. I had just gone back on Zoloft when I found out that the cancer had come back. To my great surprise I was not paniced or overwhelmed ... sure I was angry ...but thank goodness I had the medication. It gave me the control to be able to take care of what I needed to do and stay in the game of life. It is really easy to slip away into the panic or moody poor me I have cancer mode ...and I think it is okay to do that ...but it doesn't feel good or help get you to the point you need to be to recover. So...I'm not trying to push meds ...but there is help and why not use it. I wish you all the best. Jamie

    Dear Jamie,
    Thanks for the advice on how to try to be in control more with the aids of antidepressants. Along with that I will think about your advice in that there is help out there and I should make use it in many different ways. :-)
  • Kwitsa
    Kwitsa Member Posts: 2
    #6
    A big hug to you, EvaChristine. It's not something I'd wish on anyone, but you sure do find out you've got alot more people that care about you and love you than you ever thought. I was diagnosed 2 months ago with IDC hormone receptor positive breast cancer ... and needless to say it was an incredible slap in the face as I considered myself an extremely healthy and active 43 year old. But after reading through so many of the courageous women out there and on this site that have gone through so much more than I, ... well, I feel humbled and much calmer facing this new beast in my life. I haven't been operated on yet ... tomorrow I decide. I have been following alternative treatments during the waiting and there has been no change in the tumor size from the latest eco. Take care of yourself, and let yourself be helped, no matter how indepenadant you think you are. And there is always someone greater than us and "greater than our hearts" ready to help us carry the load if we let him.
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #7
    I am sorry for all you must face. I am 8 year survivor who has one thing to say. We all have to learn very quickly what we have control over and what we don't, this can actually be quite a freeing thing. It is important to be active so tired and then will sleep. It isn't fun replaying over and over in our minds what we think will happen and more often than not never turns out like we had been so worried about. The fear of death is very real and very big but there cannot be one thing ever that is all too consuming. There is a cancer saying in the Gallery about what Cancer cannot do. I posted this on my fridge to read daily and that helped for me to keep my perspective.
    Be good to yourself always,
    Tara
  • sassysally
    sassysally Member Posts: 150
    #8
    EvaChristine, I can understand your feelings. I am a three time breast cancer surivior. Take a deep breath..... breathe. Take things one step at a time. The first time a had breast cancer I was 28, I am now 43. Your doctor has explained alot of things to you, and it is all alot to process all at once. Crying is normal, not being able to sleep is normal, being scared is normal. Cancer is hard to hear, face and deal with. I can tell you, I don't know where the strength comes from... I really think the divine spirit and it helps you get through this journey one step at a time. Have strength in the fact that you have come to this website with others that have been in and are in your shoes. There will be trials and tribulations along the way. Keep a positive attitude as that is most of the deal. If you need any help, all of us are here. If you have questions, please feel free to email me as I have been there, done that a few times and am glad to be here to tell you about it. BREATHE... it will be ok.
    Sassy
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #9
    sassysally said:

    EvaChristine, I can understand your feelings. I am a three time breast cancer surivior. Take a deep breath..... breathe. Take things one step at a time. The first time a had breast cancer I was 28, I am now 43. Your doctor has explained alot of things to you, and it is all alot to process all at once. Crying is normal, not being able to sleep is normal, being scared is normal. Cancer is hard to hear, face and deal with. I can tell you, I don't know where the strength comes from... I really think the divine spirit and it helps you get through this journey one step at a time. Have strength in the fact that you have come to this website with others that have been in and are in your shoes. There will be trials and tribulations along the way. Keep a positive attitude as that is most of the deal. If you need any help, all of us are here. If you have questions, please feel free to email me as I have been there, done that a few times and am glad to be here to tell you about it. BREATHE... it will be ok.
    Sassy

    Sassy Sally is so rught! I'm still here after almost 20 years. Lost both breasts...less than 2 years apart by the time i was 40. I'm 57 now. Life is still a challenge, but beating cancer gave me the know-how to survive some other things that have come up since. This is not for nothing...you will come out of it a better person.
  • slyng
    slyng Member Posts: 12
    #10
    Hi - I was diagnosed in Sept of this year. I'm doing chemo right now - 1/2 way done. I've also had a horrible time sleeping. My mind just races about EVERYTHING. I actually am taking Ambien CR at night. During the days I'm so tired from chemo, I lay down to rest, but cannot fall asleep. It's very frustrating...I have two little girls ages 5 and 3, and I can't take anything during the day because of them. I'm not thrilled about having to take a sleeping pill every night, but right now, I figure I need as much rest as possible while in treatment and so I just need to do it. I wish you well....

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